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| 02-21-14 09:41am - 3919 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
More Random Levity As the first Random Levity thread got a little sullied, I thought rather than revive it, I'd just start a new one. So ......  Former PornUsers Senior AdministratorNow at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 02-21-14 02:41pm - 3919 days | #2 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
Khan ............. this ........... is a hoot! unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 02-21-14 04:27pm - 3919 days | #3 | |
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jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
Can you say zygote? If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee. If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! | |
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| 02-22-14 02:33pm - 3918 days | #4 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
I hate it when there's two continuous minutes of just this! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 02-22-14 07:14pm - 3918 days | #5 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
And here all this time I thought I've been "preaching to the choir." Now, if only we can explain what this weird object is, and more importantly what its saying to the world marketers of porn , then maybe these internet boneheads will get the message! ....you think? Naaaah ....may as well ask Mother Nature for half-hour organisms. | |
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| 02-25-14 09:36am - 3915 days | #6 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
 Since 2007 | |
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| 02-26-14 12:16am - 3915 days | #7 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Those microscopic images of fertilizing eggs always remind me of how it is at a bar and a bunch of guys are competing for a hot girl.  (Though if we're being honest, successfully fertilizing an egg is probably what instinctively drives us in the first place.  ) "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 02-26-14 08:30am - 3914 days | #8 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
That and a nice smile and awesome tits  Since 2007 | |
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| 02-26-14 11:09am - 3914 days | #9 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
Did someone say awesome tits? Former PornUsers Senior AdministratorNow at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 02-26-14 03:46pm - 3914 days | #10 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Yes I think someone did.  Since 2007 | |
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| 02-26-14 03:48pm - 3914 days | #11 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
About time this site started educating it members. Since 2007 | |
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| 02-26-14 04:02pm - 3914 days | #12 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
Seeing this it's no wonder that women like to torment men about their dick sizes. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 02-26-14 04:28pm - 3914 days | #13 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
 "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 02-26-14 05:08pm - 3914 days | #14 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Does it count if they're both at chin-level and lowered to just above the navel? Limited Thumbnails available for potential subscribers. Full screen comes in HD. We take MasterCard, Visa, and American Express. | |
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| 02-27-14 11:20am - 3913 days | #15 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
Conventional wisdom states that man was created by God. However common sense will tell you that women were designed by civil engineers. Who else would think to locate a recreation area adjacent to a waste disposal site. To me, Random Levity says humor more succinctly than Italians on the bus Heretofore, this is where any humor posted by me will appear unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 02-27-14 01:44pm - 3913 days | #16 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
YOU CANT MISS WITH THIS LADY  Since 2007 | |
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| 02-27-14 01:46pm - 3913 days | #17 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. Since 2007 | |
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| 02-27-14 01:47pm - 3913 days | #18 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
Well, one thing that engineering is about is space efficiency and interchangeability, and we've all seen how that waste disposal site gets repurposed for recreation! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 02-27-14 01:49pm - 3913 days | #19 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
ok enough no more offending pussy jokes geees No Vagina Jokes. Those aren't funny. PERIOD. No Period Jokes either. Women might ovary act. Ok  Since 2007 | |
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| 02-28-14 09:14pm - 3912 days | #20 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
 Former PornUsers Senior AdministratorNow at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 03-01-14 12:05am - 3912 days | #21 | |
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biker (0)
Active User  Posts: 632 Registered: May 03, '08 Location: milwaukee, wi |
Even though I have known few women, I can say they all met this specification. God love them. Warning Will Robinson | |
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| 03-01-14 05:45am - 3911 days | #22 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
What bugs me is that I don't even know what half of these knobs are for! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 03-03-14 12:38am - 3910 days | #23 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Drooler, I think a lot of guys are drawn to the mystery of all those knobs.  Reminds me of a joke I once heard about research that was being done concerning whether men had a G-spot like women do or something roughly equivalent, and the punchline being isn't it already blatantly obvious where the erogenous zone on a man is!?  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove Edited on Mar 03, 2014, 12:55am | |
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| 03-03-14 11:34am - 3909 days | #24 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Aren't we as men just one big the erogenous zone Since 2007 | |
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| 03-04-14 05:15pm - 3908 days | #25 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
My  worth, regarding all zones pertaining to women, could more appropriately be called:"The twilight Zone"  | |
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| 03-05-14 12:06am - 3908 days | #26 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Graymane, that makes Rod Serling's introduction on that show all the more meaningful: "There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination."  I think this is a pretty good description of how I feel every time I just think I have figured a woman out.  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 03-05-14 08:23am - 3907 days | #27 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
I thought I had figured out women as one night. I meant this attractive, sweet, smoking hot lady one night in a classy bar,she was built, and toned and we went back to my place for some one on one and she went into the bathrooon came out and there was a bulge where one should not be .  Since 2007 | |
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| 03-05-14 03:16pm - 3907 days | #28 | |
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RagingBuddhist (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 893 Registered: Jan 23, '07 |
Good timing for this one, I guess. A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his balls because it was something she just seemed to love doing. Because he was enjoying it himself, he smiled and asked her, "Why do you love doing that so much?" "Because", she replied, "I miss mine". Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity. | |
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| 03-05-14 07:41pm - 3907 days | #29 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
haha ... after those, I just can't resist. After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man. The guy began to worry. "Is this you husband?" "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "You boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is it then?" asked the bewildered guy. The girl replied, "That's me before the surgery..." Former PornUsers Senior Administrator Now at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 03-06-14 12:26am - 3907 days | #30 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
You guys are just too much! I can hear Milton Berle all the way from tinsel-town !!!! "Where were those guys when I needed them"???? | |
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| 03-06-14 12:56am - 3907 days | #31 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Great stuff, Turbo! Keepin' it in my favorites. You do 'ol Rod PROUD ...... Wherever he is in yonder-land, I'm sure he and his fellow writers of the bizarre are toasting you with vessels held high! | |
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| 03-06-14 03:03pm - 3906 days | #32 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
 Former PornUsers Senior AdministratorNow at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 03-06-14 05:27pm - 3906 days | #33 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
Now that's a version of brokeback Mountain that I would have watched. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 03-06-14 05:30pm - 3906 days | #34 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
That reminds me of the joke that goes something like this: Three women interviewed for a managerial position at a top finance company in New York City. One of them had an MBA from Stanford, one from Cornell, and one from Wharton. Which one got the job? The one with the big tits. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 03-13-14 11:51am - 3899 days | #35 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million." Impressed, the woman asked for his business card, and three days later she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 03-14-14 12:06pm - 3898 days | #36 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
 Former PornUsers Senior AdministratorNow at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 03-14-14 12:08pm - 3898 days | #37 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
Oh, and happy Steak & Blow-job day !! Former PornUsers Senior Administrator Now at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 03-14-14 08:10pm - 3898 days | #38 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Don't forget Pi Day, Khan!  (Still trying to figure out how you could work a steak or a blowjob into it though.  ) "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 03-14-14 08:30pm - 3898 days | #39 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
Hey, thanks for letting me know about that one. I'd never heard of it but it makes sense that it would be on 3/14. And yeah, not sure how you'd combine the two celebrations. Former PornUsers Senior Administrator Now at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 03-14-14 10:46pm - 3898 days | #40 | |
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RagingBuddhist (0)
Disabled User Posts: 893 Registered: Jan 23, '07 |
Pi Day, next year and at two very specific times, is going to be extra special. 3/14 at 1:59 & 26 seconds, A.M. & P.M. Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity. | |
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| 03-15-14 09:09am - 3897 days | #41 | |
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biker (0)
Active User Posts: 632 Registered: May 03, '08 Location: milwaukee, wi |
I was a mechanical designer for forty years. I must have used Pi a million times. I worked on hydraulics and everything is cylindrical. Besides the square root key, the Pi key was the greatest thing they put on a calculator. Warning Will Robinson Edited on Mar 15, 2014, 10:16am | |
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| 03-15-14 08:13pm - 3897 days | #42 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
I'd also assume that's way more accurate (depending on how many digits the calculator uses) and of course easier than trying to remember 3.14...umm... Though I'm also assuming you didn't need it so accurate that it went out to one million digits which a page from the Pi day site has.  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 03-31-14 10:04am - 3881 days | #43 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
I went to a birthday party Saturday night. In attendance was a semi attractive woman with a freakishly large chest. When she was introduced to the birthday boy, he took one very long look and said " When you fly on an airplane, are those carry-on or do you have to check them?" unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 03-31-14 03:12pm - 3881 days | #44 | |
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biker (0)
Active User Posts: 632 Registered: May 03, '08 Location: milwaukee, wi |
^^
I think the calculator went more then four places. At least we needed that many places. My last place of employment made valves that required decimal places on some components up to four places. Imagine .0005+/-.0001. Until I worked there I did not believe there was machinery that produce that fine a tolerance and in high production. A rubber seal would not work in the application, so we got as close as metal to metal as we could get so the hydraulic fluid was a seal unto itself. If you own a Mustang, the engine has one of these valves in it. Warning Will Robinson | |
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| 03-31-14 08:48pm - 3881 days | #45 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Yikes, biker, that's insane! I would've thought that the thermal expansion of the valve and the cylinder would make this impossibly once the engine heated up...but obviously I'm not an engineer. Of course things like the comet-intercepting Rosetta or the Cassini-Huygens sound almost impossible from an engineering standpoint. Heck, even gas centrifuges practically sound like guesswork to me.  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 03-31-14 11:01pm - 3881 days | #46 | |
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biker (0)
Active User Posts: 632 Registered: May 03, '08 Location: milwaukee, wi |
^And the only oil available is the engine oil. Can you imagine dirty engine oil cycling through these valves. Edit to add note. We do put filter screens on all the valve openings, but I still wonder how they don't get clogged after a while. I'm as surprised as you are that they function. But like you, I'm not an engineer. I was the 3D draftsman. Creating solid models of the components. I left the miracles of design to others. I prefer to study war and enjoy my collection of science fiction books and films. Don't get me started on those. Now I have sidetracked another thread. It all started with Pi Day. The only pie I'm interested in now has apples or pumpkin in it. Warning Will Robinson Edited on Apr 02, 2014, 09:22am | |
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| 04-01-14 08:29am - 3880 days | #47 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
 Since 2007 | |
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| 04-01-14 08:33am - 3880 days | #48 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
 Since 2007 | |
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| 04-01-14 08:36am - 3880 days | #49 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
A international research program established why there are so many rear end accidents in Sweden ! hehe  Since 2007 | |
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| 04-01-14 08:37am - 3880 days | #50 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
WHEN HONEYMOONS GO BAD.  Since 2007 | |
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