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| Porn Users Forum » CT's Signs you Watch Too Much Porn. |
| 1-38 of 38 Posts | Page 1 |
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| 09-15-11 06:53pm - 4809 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
CT's Signs you Watch Too Much Porn. CT's Signs You May Watch Too Much Porn.
May not be suitable for the faint of heart LOL ! 1. You buy stock in the Jergens Lotion company. 2. Your privates have rug burns from your socks. 3. You have your Google Map programed to shows all the porn stars homes. 4. You have one room dedicated to storing plain brown boxes. 5. When in church and you here about Adam and Eve you snicker! 6. You think the S&P 500 stands for the top Sex and Porn sites. 7. You once stayed up all night waiting for the next update of a porn site. 8. A Surprise to your neighbors You dress up as " be the mask " for Halloween. 9. While shopping at Walmart you wonder what the lady at the check out would look in different positions. 10. You thought discovery channels man VS wild was a spring break coeds show. Part Two Coming Soon: Glad to be back.  Since 2007 | |
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| 09-16-11 07:38am - 4808 days | #2 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
11. You are watching the news & find yourself becoming impatient expecting to see hard core sex. 12. You are puzzled when you don't hear any moaning & or swearing in amongst the muzak in an lift (elevator) 13. You are further puzzled when you still don't hear any moaning & or swearing in amongst the muzak in your local supermarket. That is just what sprung to mind.  Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 09-16-11 10:25am - 4808 days | #3 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
14-The term backdoor no longer means what it once did. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 09-16-11 11:45am - 4808 days | #4 | |
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lk2fireone (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
That would be a great project for the PU staff. And PU members with extra time could also help out. Let's go for it, Khan! | |
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| 09-16-11 02:43pm - 4808 days | #5 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
15 - You see a sign for an ATM machine and for a fleeting moment you think, "They got a machine for that?" I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-16-11 06:59pm - 4808 days | #6 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Can I jump in here, guys? Signs You May Watch Too Much Porn..... 16) Flashing thoughts of a roll-in-the-hey with Whoopi Goldberg. 17) You suggest monthly renewals on your relationship with girlfriends. 1 In the heat of a passionate coital moment, you make the fatal mistake of slapping your wife's tits and ass, calling her a bitch and a whoreSubject matter is just too good to stop..... I got a few more brewing. Edited on Sep 16, 2011, 07:03pm | |
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| 09-16-11 08:53pm - 4808 days | #7 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Part 2 CT's Signs you Watch Too Much Porn. Part Two. 1. You Have CC-Bill tech support on speed dial. 2. You giggle when you change the channel to Pawn Stars 3. You think the show Hard Core Pawn is where ppl sell used sex toys. 4. You have a Alarm that goes off when there is a new review posted on on PU! 5. You have your credit card number and experation date memorized. 6. Porn sites call you for site ideas and feedback. 7. You buy lubricant by the case not the bottle. 8. You list your porn stars by physical dimensions not name. 9. You once waited in the rain for 12 hours to watch a porn star take out the trash. ( I think they call this stalking). 10. You once had a wet dream while day dreaming about Jessica Jaymes! Since 2007 | |
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| 09-17-11 12:56am - 4808 days | #8 | |
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slutty (0)
Active User Posts: 475 Registered: Mar 02, '09 Location: Pennsylvania |
That is excellent pat, I still can't stop laughing every time we are watching one of Rick Steve's "Europe through the backdoor" shows. I mean his production company is Back Door Productions, I wonder if he ever regrets that. Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars. Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited. | |
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| 09-17-11 03:58am - 4808 days | #9 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
In my imagination, I can just hear him say something like "Everyone has their personal favorites, but if you ask me, the best whores are in Hamburg." I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-17-11 04:37am - 4807 days | #10 | |
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Denner (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,217 Registered: Mar 03, '07 Location: Denmark |
That 17) from graymane is hilarious I plead guilty to Cybertoads Part 2 - no. 5 "I don't drink anymore - I freeze it, and eat it like a popcicle" Edited on Sep 17, 2011, 04:43am | |
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| 09-17-11 08:37am - 4807 days | #11 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
19) You're one of those people who knows that a rainbow party has nothing to do with Jesse Jackson. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-17-11 11:33am - 4807 days | #12 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
20 . The Star Treks The Wrath of Kahn has a different meaning to you ! Since 2007 | |
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| 09-17-11 11:37am - 4807 days | #13 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
21, You stack up dollars bills on your desk to watch online strippers. 22. You once had a dream you gave up porn for a day, then you woke up and then went to your Doctor for depression meds. 22. Your wife said, Its either me or porn. And your response was, could you move, the DP scene is about to start. Since 2007 | |
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| 09-17-11 11:41am - 4807 days | #14 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
23. You are walking in Home Depot and see the same tool used in a movie you saw the other day. Since 2007 | |
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| 09-17-11 11:46am - 4807 days | #15 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
24. Your PC has the Windows OS operating system, a Moovie Player and porn and nothing else! 25. When you download porn you have bought so much bandwidth the eastern side of the United States goes offline. 25. You do not surf for porn on the net, you devour content! Since 2007 | |
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| 09-17-11 12:02pm - 4807 days | #16 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
 That was funny!26. You've bookmarked Khan's abracadabra thread, but you have so many other porn bookmarks that you can no longer find it. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Sep 17, 2011, 12:07pm | |
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| 09-17-11 06:42pm - 4807 days | #17 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
27 .... Charges on your credit card, outside of porn-related purchases, brings an Alert from your card provider. 28.... You list a favorite porn site as reference when making a bank loan. 29 .... You Use lubes with anti-inflamatory properties. | |
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| 09-18-11 07:03am - 4806 days | #18 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
30. You have tattoos of your favorite porn stars. 31. You pray for the day they sell scratch & sniff, porn star underwear. Since 2007 | |
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| 09-18-11 07:16am - 4806 days | #19 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
Hilarious! 32. You're getting your car washed by girls in thong bikinis, and you think, "Gee, I wish they'd hurry up so I can get back to my computer!" I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-18-11 07:27am - 4806 days | #20 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Great One  Since 2007 | |
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| 09-18-11 07:32am - 4806 days | #21 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
33. When you book a hotel room for your honey moon, you inquire if the rooms have Adult Movies. 34. You wonder if Clinton had inflight porn on Air Force One! 35. You hire a college intern......... to manage your porn collection. Since 2007 | |
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| 09-18-11 07:34am - 4806 days | #22 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
36. The power went out once for and hour and half, so you went in the attic to find your 1970's porn mags. Since 2007 | |
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| 09-18-11 01:40pm - 4806 days | #23 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
37.... You're making a scene in a public library because you can't get porn on their computers. 38...Told you only have six months to live, your one and only thought is: My God, what's to become of my porn collection? 39 .... Your computer's power supply is backed up by a gas generator 40 ... Attending church, You get an immediate erection when it's announced a lovely member of the choir will do a solo. Edited on Sep 19, 2011, 09:50am | |
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| 09-19-11 10:46am - 4805 days | #24 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
41 ... Robbed At gun-point, you're told: "it's your porn collection or your life, which is it?" You ask if he'll give you a moment to think about it. 42 ...Your last will and testament includes an article that lap-top, two yr. battery supply, unlimited credit card funds, and necessary power sources be buried with you. 43 ... Your bumper sticker reads: "honk if you're a pervert?" 44 ... You have "terms of Agreements" written up before you committ to costly purchases for your wife. | |
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| 09-20-11 02:51am - 4805 days | #25 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
This sign reminds me of a routine that comedian Bill Maher did on his show a few months ago about too much porn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7kiqcjAfGw. Remember, he's making jokes, but he kind of has a point too. "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove Edited on Sep 20, 2011, 03:02am | |
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| 09-20-11 04:38pm - 4804 days | #26 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
Boy, I HATE IT when the power goes out!   I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-20-11 08:01pm - 4804 days | #27 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Best reason to keep a supply of matches and emergency candles along with the old mags. Just be careful not to burn down the house--the insurance company probably doesn't want to hear about you holding a candle in one hand and yourself in the other...when all of a sudden you realized jizz rags really are flammable!  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 09-21-11 01:40pm - 4803 days | #28 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
46 During foreplay, your always double-clicking her G-spot. 47 Your new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a Ethernet, and a tissue dispenser. 48 Your suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries. 49 When you sees a hot babe, you say, "Boy, I'd like to click on her." (Fifty) Your wife looks deep into your eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into your corneas. (FIFTY One) Your version of foreplay: You lie her naked on the bed with a sheet covering her... and pulls it down slowly for ten minutes. ( for you who remember dial up porn ) Since 2007 | |
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| 09-21-11 02:53pm - 4803 days | #29 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
Nah, for me the only things enjoyable by candle light are food and sex. So I just close my eyes and replay, from memory, some favorite scenes of Jenna Haze or Breanne Benson. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-23-11 01:50pm - 4801 days | #30 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
52. You get into an argument with an actual porn star. She says, "You can kiss my ass," and you immediately respond, "Really?" in an eager tone. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-23-11 03:53pm - 4801 days | #31 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
53....You hint that you'll consider donoting a kidney for lifetime memberships to any five of your favorite porn sites. 54... Being a rabid Jeoparty fan, you appeal to Alex Trebek and the TV Station to include porn related topics. 55... Elect early retirement specifically so's you can devote more time to watching porn. 56 ... To conceal and divert any notion of your active porn watching habit, You run for City Council on a platform to rid your district from all manner of smut relating to porn. ( Does #56 Sound, or look familiar?)  | |
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| 09-24-11 06:19am - 4800 days | #32 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
Familiar, yes, but not familiar enough, fortunately. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-24-11 06:36am - 4800 days | #33 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
57. You buy a new key board each month to replace the pause aka space bar.  58. You had to replace the 4 foot by four foot piece of carpet around your pc desk twice in the last six months.  Since 2007 | |
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| 09-24-11 10:01am - 4800 days | #34 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Amen to #58 , CT. 59 ... You remove arm-rests on either side of your chair facing the computer screen. (might have to think about that one) 60 ... You use your Windows paint feature to include pussies on non-nudes. 61 ... You become addicted to alcohol in an effort to help cure your addiction to porn.  | |
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| 09-24-11 10:32am - 4800 days | #35 | |
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lk2fireone (0)
Active User Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
Carpeting can get expensive. But I'd consider it a sign of virility if I could do that much damage. LOL. | |
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| 09-24-11 11:16am - 4800 days | #36 | |
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rearadmiral (0)
Active User Posts: 1,453 Registered: Jul 16, '07 Location: NB/Canada |
I just walked by the fridge where my bride has a grocery list started. One item is 'jasmine rice' and I did a double take because I read it as Jasmine Lynn. Does that count? Mmmm... Jasmine Lynn... | |
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| 09-25-11 06:07am - 4799 days | #37 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
I can imagine a woman putting jasmine rouge on her lips, while we'd like Jasmine Rouge on ours. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 09-25-11 07:03am - 4799 days | #38 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Hmmm I can think of putting something on hers  Since 2007 | |
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