|
|||||
|
| Porn Users Forum » Computers are fucked up. |
| 1-20 of 20 Posts | Page 1 |
| Thread Nav : Refresh Page | First Post | Last Post | Porn Forum Home |
| 03-22-13 08:52am - 4293 days | Original Post - #1 | |
|
lk2fireone (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
Computers are fucked up. I used to be able to play Amazon movies on my PC using Firefox browser. Then, for the last few months, I got an error message if I wanted to play an Amazon movie, saying I probably needed to update my flash player. I could not play an Amazon movie using Firefox. I tried to update my flash player (from Adobe), but that didn't help. But I discovered that I could still play an Amazon movie using Microsoft IE. Today, for some reason, I tried to play a movie from Amazon with Firefox. And it worked. I can now play movies from Amazon with Firefox. Am I happy? No. Why not? Because I now hold a grudge against Firefox, Amazon, and my PC, for all the times I tried to play an Amazon movie, and couldn't. Fuck them all! | |
|
||
| 03-22-13 09:45am - 4293 days | #2 | |
|
RagingBuddhist (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 893 Registered: Jan 23, '07 |
Welcome to the maddening world of computers. Over time, things just seem to fuck up for no reason at all. Something in the registry gets messed up, something else in the registry gets messed up and pretty soon you're banging your head against a wall, wondering what what the hell is going on. This is why I partition my primary drive and keep a backup image of a fresh operating system install. I also keep an image of the O/S right after I get all my programs installed. So, when I can't take the glitches anymore, I save all my documents and bookmarks to a flash drive, then wipe out the C drive. Reinstall the O/S from the backup image and all's well again - til the next fuck up. Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity. | |
|
||
| 03-22-13 01:58pm - 4293 days | #3 | |
|
Drooler (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
The list of hardware and software companies that have pissed me off over the years is pretty long. Some of them are still around; many have yielded to the pull of gravity and are now down a black hole. But that doesn't keep me from saying, "Fuck them" too! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
|
||
| 03-22-13 08:54pm - 4293 days | #4 | |
|
pat362 (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
I had sort of a similar problem sometime last year with Firefox. In my case it was movies on some of the Kink sites that I couldn't play. I also had to download an update for Flash and it also didn't work for me at first and then after a week or so later. It started to work. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
|
||
| 03-23-13 06:43am - 4292 days | #5 | |
|
jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
^Yes - it's not like Firefox has it's own player but how it interacts with Adobe's Flash Player. You might consider trying to update your Firefox and/or look at your Foxfire addons, exts & plugins. If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee. If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! | |
|
||
| 03-23-13 12:02pm - 4292 days | #6 | |
|
pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
^In my case that is no longer a problem because I guess Adobe came out with a patch or upgrade because I no longer have that problem. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
|
||
| 03-23-13 12:58pm - 4292 days | #7 | |
|
Ed2009 (0)
Suspended Webmaster  Posts: 509 Registered: Sep 12, '09 Location: Wales, UK |
I haven't been able to play ANY videos in Firefox for months now on my desktop PC. Media Center, video players and Chrome all play videos fine but Firefox crashes itself instant when I press the play button. I've never tried to fix it as I rarely use Firefox. Webmaster of StripGameCentral and A Measure of Curiosity. | |
|
||
| 03-23-13 02:03pm - 4292 days | #8 | |
|
RagingBuddhist (0)
Disabled User Posts: 893 Registered: Jan 23, '07 |
I've found that a lot of Firefox problems come from their insisting on releasing new versions, one after another. Once super fast and easy to use, it's become almost as bad as Internet Exploder. I've found that using older versions eliminates some of the issues with the latest versions. Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity. | |
|
||
| 03-23-13 04:41pm - 4292 days | #9 | |
|
biker (0)
Active User  Posts: 632 Registered: May 03, '08 Location: milwaukee, wi |
I am using Firefox and have no problems. I typically don't take upgrades because suddenly things aren't compatible anymore. The problem that has angered me is buying a new computer and it naturally comes with all the latest software and my old computer games aren't compatible. I have lost some enjoyable games that way. This includes Microsoft Games. You would think they would make some patch available for their own software. Warning Will Robinson | |
|
||
| 03-24-13 06:59am - 4291 days | #10 | |
|
Dracula (0)
Active User  Posts: 183 Registered: Jan 27, '13 Location: Romania |
You would think that, but Microsoft is all about making money. They are known for pushing people forward regardless of how people feel about it. They stop their support of older operating systems and games in efforts to force everyone to upgrade into the new versions. This saves them money, and brings in new revenue. Their new operating system forces people into upgrading drivers and software down the line. This pushes vendors to either update older programs or die. It's all profit for Microsoft and all pain for their customers. Well, maybe not all pain. Microsoft does offer cool stuff with their upgrades. But upgrading anything from software to PC is always a pain. A true neck-lover. | |
|
||
| 03-24-13 07:22am - 4291 days | #11 | |
|
jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
Is it the nature of an open source product? If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee. If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! | |
|
||
| 03-24-13 07:39am - 4291 days | #12 | |
|
Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
That second sentence feels oh so familiar!  Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
|
||
| 03-24-13 09:32am - 4291 days | #13 | |
|
pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
Although I am certain that Microsoft is mostly all about the money. Isn't it the same for every other company that offers similar products/services?. It's true that they keep pushing people to upgrade but if they weren't then they would have stopped doing business years ago. The reality for anything associated with computers is that it is nearly obsolete the day it's released and if you don't have an upgrade in the works then someone else will be able to steal part of your market. I know it gets frustrating when Microsoft stops supporting some of their older products but there comes a time when it's not only bad business but dangerous to the user. I used to love My Win XP OS but that thing had so many holes that the patches and upgrades could never keep up with the spyware and trojans. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
|
||
| 03-25-13 08:43pm - 4290 days | #14 | |
|
turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
 Just like people, which makes sense because often the software can only be as good as the geniuses who wrote it.  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
|
||
| 03-26-13 09:39am - 4289 days | #15 | |
|
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
ENJOY 10 LAWS OF COMPUTING 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural. 7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up. 8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do. Since 2007 | |
|
||
| 03-26-13 09:40am - 4289 days | #16 | |
|
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM TECH SUPPORT * "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?" * "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it." * "So -- what are you wearing?" * "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" * "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n." * "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC." * "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery." * "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect." * "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!" * "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics." * "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney." Since 2007 | |
|
||
| 03-26-13 09:42am - 4289 days | #17 | |
|
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
THE 10 RULES FOR CYBERSEX 1. Before becoming involved in any kind of cybersex, please make sure your spouse, boyfriend, kids, etc. are out of the room at the time, (preferably out of the house and not during a major holiday when your in-laws are also present or at a time when all your relatives are in attendance). It really gets difficult to explain the moaning and groaning, while the buzz of various "toys" can be heard. 2. For men, before you begin, please check that your modem protector is on, along with the splash guard for your keyboard. It will stop the future embarrassment of telling the computer technician that your keys are "stuck" and you have no idea why. 3. For women, no matter what you are truly wearing, such as: sweatpants, sweat shirt, torn bathrobe, slippers, t-shirt with stains on the front, bloomer underwear that could cover a car or be used for a parachute, always tell your potential cyber partner you are wearing a thong, garter belt with black stockings, and your best Wonderbra (the one that has everything pulled up so high your belly button is under your chin), and a pair of high heels. We don't want to destroy that myth that all women dress that way when we sit down at the computer (although I truly wear these things each and every time I sit in front of my computer, it does seem to cause a bit of a commotion at the office, - but I have certainly worked my way up the ranks in the company because of it). As for what the man should be wearing, we all know that they are all naked and wearing just a smile. 4. If the cyber begins to get very hot please refrain from straddling your monitor. There are many emergency room stories to be told if you get overly excited, not to mention the many years of therapy to get you to let go and not continue this sordid affair with your 15" screen. 5. If the cyber is not going well, please let the other person know in the best way you can. It is not very polite to tell them that you are doing your nails, have just made up your grocery list for the next month, shingled the house, pulled out one of your wisdom teeth because you were bored, would rather read the instructions on how to set the time on your VCR, checked your fridge to make sure the light still works when you open the door, and last but not least, stuck your tongue to an ice cube tray to stop the monotony. 6. When it really starts getting hot and heavy, please check your spelling before you send that embarrassing typo, i.e., oh baby, let me suck on those beautiful beasts of yours. I just love your hot, wet posse (although it does kinda put a western slant on Things - hmmmm, things could get interesting with boots and spurs though). Oh baby, you have such a big coke, (hope you got the supersized fries and burger with that). That's it baby, show me that beautiful clint, (go ahead, make my day), and the proverbial oh fork me hard! 7. Pay attention to what is going on. Please refrain from putting your "coke" in one place, when your cyberpartner had just typed that it was someplace else. If you have no clue as to where the cyber is going, ask to buy a vowel. If you are really lost and can't keep up, or you had a case of premature cybering, and really do not feel like typing for 3 days to satisfy your female counterpart, just pretend you got bumped off-line. That always works and at least she won't take it so personal. Please refrain from the excuse, "I have to let my dog out." 8. Once both cyberpartners have been satisfied, or faked satisfaction, (oh great, we now have the added pressure of faking cyber-orgasms too), at least say thank you. (Thank you can mean, thank God its over, or THANK YOU because you truly had a wonderful time.) 9. If it was a truly bad experience, do not feel pressured into ever having cybersex with this person again. When they ask for your email address, just give them the wrong one. If they begin to pester you, it's proper etiquette to just bump yourself off-line, or just say HUH? I never got your message. Nobody needs to suffer a really bad cyber twice. 10. Last but not least, remember that cybersex will not make you go blind, unless you keep all the lights out in the house while having it, watching the screen in the dark does make your eyes burn. Realize that you may be addicted if your real life partner walks by naked and you'd rather be typing with one hand and still trying to keep a steady rhythm going. Sex can be just as nice with a partner you know. And just for variety, when your right hand gets tired, try dating your left hand for something different. Since 2007 | |
|
||
| 03-26-13 09:44am - 4289 days | #18 | |
|
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
STUPID TECH SUPPORT CALLS Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?" Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she down loaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?" A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine." Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!" Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety." Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?" Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?" Tech Support: "Yeah." Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?" Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah." Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed." Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work." Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" Customer: (pause) "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?" An IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in ...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first. A customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and insert it into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems. Say no more. Caller : "Hello, is this Tech Support?" Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech :"Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as a part of a promotion, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller : "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has "4X" on it." At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off in the drive. A customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?" An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it " couldn't find printer". The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printer - but his computer still couldn't "see" the printer. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally. A Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water soaked the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually. A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech "hold on", and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room. An AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies. Since 2007 | |
|
||
| 03-26-13 11:32am - 4289 days | #19 | |
|
RagingBuddhist (0)
Disabled User Posts: 893 Registered: Jan 23, '07 |
^ All examples of why I say, "Never underestimate a human being's ability to fuck up the simplest situation". Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity. | |
|
||
| 03-26-13 10:34pm - 4288 days | #20 | |
|
Dracula (0)
Active User Posts: 183 Registered: Jan 27, '13 Location: Romania |
^ I love those tech support calls!  A true neck-lover. | |
|
||
| 1-20 of 20 Posts | Page 1 |
| Thread Nav : Refresh Page | First Post | Last Post | Porn Forum Home |
|
