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| Porn Users Forum » Anybody know where I can find some Ghost-Busters? |
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| 09-29-13 09:56pm - 4063 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Anybody know where I can find some Ghost-Busters? This might appear to be a tad off topic, but I can assure you that you'll find sex to play an important role as you read on. As a very young lad, I lived with my family in a mountainous city in Virginia, during an era which this proud nation was in the throes of the historic 30's depression. Twas a time of panic and economic upheaval that pushed this country almost to its knees. Jobs were dreadfully scarce, creating food-lines everywhere. We did manage to get by without handouts, thankfully by being blessed with the rare good luck of both my parents holding jobs. Salaries, however, were painfully meager; but in our case did provide clothes over our backs and enough food. That was possible because we weren't spending extra for taking on a full time caregiver for me, because I was instead foisted off on summers to stay at my grandparents country farm, where Grandmom, her lazy-ass husband, two girls and three boys all lived together in an isolated worn-down two story house. My mom and five of the older siblings had long left the farm -- the boys into military and the women for hopefully jobs in the city. Whenever our old car rolled onto the dirt road from the 80 mile trek from our city home, leading down to my grandparents house, I was always greeted with enthusiastic hugs and grand welcome from my uncles and aunts, all of whom were near enough to my age that we made compatible playmates all the time I was there ... that is, except when they weren't cropping in the fields. Night in the wooded country was pitch black, which was perfect for telling ghost stories, usually while setting together on the front porch as the sun went down. Country-folk called them haints: which was their designation for departed souls, which got its name reportedly having been often seen by local impressionable mountaineers (who're a few corncobs short of qualifying for a roll of toilet paper) claiming these sightings of apparitions roaming the countryside, the ghostly purpose apparently for the delight in scaring the shit outta people. I never seen one, but was convinced enough to join my young host's practice (when nature calls) of rather than slipping outside in the dark, or making my way stumbling downhill to the outhouse, just instead to simply piss in the bed. Even now, I still call them Haints. Either they're friendly haints or mischievous haints. Somehow, however, I've rather always appealed to the damned mischievous haints. Once they discover they can make a bowl of soup fly out of my hands crashing on the floor, thus seeing me explode into a cursing, fist-waving rage ... or, I've now learned sometimes actually using reverse physiology by politely thanking them, just to deprive them of the amusement they apparently crave, Then, sadly, you thereafter become their main source of entertainment. For example, An object will fall from my hands, after then striking the floor will actually sprint (however far it takes) to a destination underneath, to the furthest, darkest, inaccessible location it can finally park. Finding it hilarious, no doubt, by having my attending haints watching me mightily squirm painfully on the floor, on my back, in a painfull effort to retrieve the damned thing. all this time, dont'cha know, I'm picturing them falling all over inside and out of themselves in riotous haint-laughter. I'm convinced These no-dose-floaters stick around mostly for their enjoyment they're getting from my unique tantrums blending in with these hilarious episodes. Unlike humans, They never sleep, or go on doctor's appointments, taking out the garbage, grocery shopping, or do anything our bodies demands. Consequently the idle pricks simply have too damned much time on their frigging' hands, so they come to sell-out performances at my house. Pulling out something from the refrigerator will not only slip from my hand, but cause a domino effect Liken to pens falling one after another on impact by a bowling ball, as liquid filled containers on the upper shelf drop, bringing down another until every shelf from top to bottom have taken part in depositing something on my floor, just waiting for me to slip and bust my ass on. In part, to escape the harassing behavior of these, eh, well, lets call them farts because we actually can't see either of them exit from where it metalizes. Anyway, I move out. after I move into my new place, I later learn during their previous occupancy were moral extremists who lived under the strict exhortation of a Bible-thumping preacher, whose loud and saliva-spitting sermons railed heavily against lusting after the flesh. Alas, damnation to all who even slightly flirted with a notion of jerking off. So in conclusion, it was here, in this new pad, before I learnd about this God-fearing family who lived and died here, to which I've inadvertently moved into ironically in order to flee from the previous taunting, might find myself in a new voyage up the creek without a paddle. Well, as lady-luck continues dealing me Jokers and deuces, having Settled down in this new dwelling, and unknowingly wondering if one morning I'll wake up and find my cock mutilated, I don't have to tell you about what kind of haunting reception I'm expecting now. Even my bed covers can't hide anything from them now ... or what goes on beneath them. So, boys and girls .... this is why I need a good Ghost buster. Got any leads? And don't do like others I try to explain my association with haints. Like get up and leave. Edited on Oct 01, 2013, 11:04pm | |
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| 09-30-13 02:39pm - 4063 days | #2 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
I know it might seem crazy, but talk to them. We had & still have quite a few in our old Victorian house. One of them wasn't too keen on us, but calmed down when addressed politely. By chance, we discovered that this presence was attached to an old Edwardian mangle we had in the out house. When it went, so did he. The atmosphere is a lot calmer now. You have to remember, it was their home before it was yours. Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 10-01-13 03:54pm - 4062 days | #3 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Thanks, Capn....its comforting to know I'll have some company when I'm toted out to the "funny farm" in a straight jacket. But seriously (yeah, right) I think I've come to the right conclusion that its the same ones .... they just simply followed me here to my new address. Because they're behaving in the same manner, as well as my having a feel that simply justifies it. No attacks on my porn, leading me to believe the old tenets didn't hang around but left and went straight to heaven. Your post ...? Good advice Capn, but I think these guys are just plain maliciously inclined, and are having too much fun at my expense maintaining the status Quo. Since I posted this thread, there have been no less than seven instances of objects taking flight and creating a mess for me to clean up. I ain't kidding, Capn .....earlier I was holding an important bank receipt that left my hand and found its way under my frig. How it could get under that tight space between the door bottom and floor is simply unbelievable. I couldn't even get my fingers under the door, much less far enough to reach it. Last night, while on my computer, I head a loud thud, like something had fallen ... only to turn and see nothing to justify what it could be. Calling on PU members for help admittedly was more a humorous exaggeration to get attention, but hells-bells, I'm now thinking maybe hiring a Priest imbued with powers to kick their asses out as being my only option. Again, Capn ... thanks for the tip. Don't think this thread's going anywhere from the looks of things, but maybe we did give'em something to think about.  | |
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| 10-01-13 06:22pm - 4062 days | #4 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
^I really wish I could give you some advice but spirits tend to stay away from me so anything I'd suggest would come from tv shows and movied and frankly that's probably not a goof source of info. Have you tired playing different types of music to see you get different reactions based on the type played? Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 10-01-13 08:33pm - 4062 days | #5 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Many thanks, Pat for the tip, but sorry, no cigar(I think) Taking into account ghosts -- not having to drag around a heavy coat of flesh, an all -- presumably lack the usual anatomical necessities, such as the five senses.... hearing and sight being among the foremost, and based on what I've gleaned from lots of reading on the subject, everything is transferred and deciphered through thought processes. So to answer your question, whether they hear music or absorb it through a mental state, they still possess the powers to do anything they want regarding how they receive it. I've an idea that there's some kind of law that exist in the ghost community wherein they can only go so far with their pranks ..... otherwise we might have souls returning to take revenge on the living who put them where they are. Why would one even wanna return to the flesh what with all the baggage that goes with it? Think about it, No pain, no stress, and the best part is they don't have to come up with $29.95 for a thirty day limited visual trip to Brazzers or "fallen Angel" when all they have to do is "will" themselves actually being the participating partners having all the fun. In fact, they have the key to simply unlock whats on their minds and help themselves to whats there. Why do you suppose we humans are so damned afraid to die? It ain't rocket science to figure we'd otherwise jump at the chance if indeed that were the case ......whew!, I'm beat. wanna learn more then post something. | |
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| 10-02-13 08:24am - 4061 days | #6 | ||
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Khan (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
Knowing how you fret when "your" threads don't see much activity, I'll play along.
errrr ... I thought that's what bed-pans were for.  Ok, but on to your haints ...  Typically, a culture that is rich in tales of ghosts and spiritual activity will be equally rich in ways and means for protecting oneself from them or even ridding oneself (or place) of them. Often the same one who told you the ghost story will have some advice to offer for your "personal protection". Check with your kin-folk or those still living in the area where you first learned of the haints (haunts). It sounds like you have some specific beliefs in this area so I'm betting that in your years, you've heard a thing or two that might help. Ghost generally attach themselves to a place or a thing but it's not unheard of for them to follow a person/family from place to place. You could always try smudging the house (burning sage in each room) and encouraging the spirits to go in peace. Though I'd avoid being too bossy with them as that'll often just make them ornery. Capn's idea of figuring out what they want was a good one, though you seem to feel it doesn't apply in your case. Haha ... maybe they just want you to watch more porn so they can look over your shoulder. 
If you're serious about wanting to bring someone in then you're in a good place for it. As I recall, you're now living in Va. Beach. If that's correct then there is no shortage of new-agers, spiritualist and the like in that area. I know for decades the Heritage book store served as a kind of hub for "believers" in all kinds of stuff. I know it used to be on Laskin road down where it meets Pacific -- right near the Jewish Mother. Of course, I hear the Jewish Mother is gone now and the Heritage has changed owners since last I was there, still it might be worth a visit or a call. Ask them if they're still in touch with the new-agey types. If yes, they might be able to recommend someone who can help you. Good luck with your uninvited guests.  Oh, and as far as our fear of dying ... A wise man once said: "The gods conceal from men the happiness of death, that they may endure life." -- Lucan (39-65 A.D.)  Former PornUsers Senior AdministratorNow at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson Edited on Oct 02, 2013, 08:35am | ||
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| 10-02-13 10:06pm - 4060 days | #7 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
I just gotta say, chief, if I don't get another post from anybody on this thread, having got this coveted gem from our administer, is more than I nor anybody else I'd venture to include could ever hope for. If it is your intent through this effort to make me feel better about the stymied course this bloody brainchild of mine is taking, let me assure all who's still awake that it is indeed a success. Unsurprisingly, brick by brick you went at it brilliantly. Accordingly, In my mind, and hopefully embraced by fellow PU architects of better Internet Porn, that The undisputable fact a man of your respected substance, wisdom, and incalculable knowledge of this industry, would inject, on a seemingly personal level, things so familiar about one's hometown. So much so that he could be construed being your neighbor. Sorry, chief. but you just made it so easy. | |
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| 10-03-13 04:52pm - 4060 days | #8 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
about the "bedpans" .... yes, we all had them. They were stationed at the foot of the bed. But we pissed in the bed anyway. Okay, Chief ... Since you're playing along, might I briefly indulge you for a few more minutes on this business of afterlife. All hit-an-run thread-hoppers who comes along might wanna stick around for this. My concept. Based on over a half century putting pieces of this puzzle together .....Starting with the book of Geneses: "In the beginning God created man." Why, I don't know? But leaping forward to the year 2013, on this day, I'll start this brief by saying I'm deep-sixing any theological mumbo-jumbo spewing from the lips of self-anointed Theologians and evangelical opportunist. And the first order of nonsensical present day doctrine begs the question: Why would God create man "born in sin" that if he didn't shape up by atoning for them that he'd be cast into a Lake of fire to burn for all eternity. To make it even harder for us poor guys, we're saddled with a lust for sex that we're not permitted to use unless we're betrothed to the one we're using it on. And if we deviate from that, a suite at Hotel Hell is reserved in your name. Just remember Its suggested you wear something light because the thermostat is set and locked at 2000 degrees. Oh, and another thing ..... You aren't allowed to check out. without expanding on all this, Doesn't it make more sense that we otherwise simply reap in the afterlife what we sow here, live in the flesh? And further, can we accept the fact that if we don't do it right this time around, then we gotta do it all over again coming back to another pain-ridden lifetime to try again. And if you aren't ready for that, you're stopped short of following those who made sacrifices for the good of others, following the general tenets of morality and the commandments. In other words, you're left here, earthbound to roam around endlessly in sprit, invisible to the living, thereby subsequently using that advantage to come into my house and make my life miserable by your injurious pranks and callas behavior. I hope you now get my drift. Wanna see more? Then wait for the book to come out. | |
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| 10-04-13 09:14am - 4059 days | #9 | |||
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
A book, huh? So, will it have a ghostwriter? nyuk, nyuk, nyuk -- sorry couldn't resist that one.
Oh sure, why not? It's not like there's anyone left here that doesn't already know I'm certifiable bat-shit crazy. So ... It is my (personal) opinion that there are real truths at the heart of most of the world's organized religions. However, the truths are not what they teach or preach. Seems to me that their tenants and practices are mainly for controlling and influencing the masses. Oh, and also for reinforcing the "need" for organized religion. But I'll tread softly as I've no desire to offend those who believe and follow those religions. If those teachings help them find a better life, then more power to them. But here's the thing ... If those teachings do not help YOU have a better life, then just let them go. Don't feel like you have to work out the whys and wherefores to justify not believing in them. Just let them go and be comfortable in the fact that your beliefs are your own and you are free to pick and choose the ones you feel improve your life and make you a better person.
Well it sounds like you've worked out for yourself what your personal beliefs are. That's great, if they work for you. I have neither the desire or compulsion to change your beliefs. I would, however, caution you to be careful of what beliefs you accept; For it is very likely that one's after-life, just like one's physical life, is colored by one's beliefs and expectations. So, what do you suppose you'll do in your afterlife? PS: about the bed pans ...
I guess I just don't get the logic that made laying in a piss-soaked bed preferable to not sleeping in piss. Me, I'd speculate that if this was the default action in the household, then ghost were perhaps the least of the problems.  Former PornUsers Senior AdministratorNow at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson Edited on Oct 04, 2013, 09:23am | |||
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| 10-04-13 08:57pm - 4058 days | #10 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Commendable Chief. an a hardy bow for those irrefutable words of wisdom. Although you make an excellent case for matters structured on this belief issue, but just let me say I've been around the block enough times to hold my own pertaining to different religions, some elementary parapsychology, unexplained Phenomena, out of body, ghostly presence ... just to name a few. I'll proceed with that on my next post, but first let me expand on why we piss in bed ... Obviously we're asked to use the "piss-pot".....but because my grandparents were tenant farmers, to say they were poor is an understatement. There were two bedrooms upstairs, but basically only one was slept in by five kids == now six including me. That meant three to a bed, and with bladder problems being common among growing kids ... My grandparents was no exception, and in our case whoever normally "let-go" wasn't even aware of it. This wasn't necessarily a nightly occurrence, but happened enough to just treat it as part of country living. Now to your question about the logic of lying in a "piss-soaked bed." The logic was we had no choice. If you had to go, it meant crawling over somebody and stumbling to the pot, then back again sloshing your way to your assigned place. Anyway, most of the time we slept so peacefully we weren't even aware of the wetness. I can readily understand why you're shaking your head. But you'd have to be poor than church mice or walk the walk of these hard-working impoverished croppers to understand. | |
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| 10-04-13 09:18pm - 4058 days | #11 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
As it happens, I too had occasion to visit poor relations in my youth. A few were farmers and two were factory workers, but none were share-croppers so I'm sure the situation was different. But I do recall similar sleeping arrangements -- three and four to the bed ... boys and girls in the same bed at that. Wow, thinking about that I recall some of my earliest sex education being in one of those beds with two older girls. Shame I was far too young to really make the best of that situation. I do understand that with kids sleeping in the same bed, accidents will happen on occasion. I just couldn't figure out the intentionally wetting the bed rather than using the pot. But hey, if it worked for you, who am I to criticize? I'll look forward to your next post. Former PornUsers Senior Administrator Now at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 10-04-13 09:19pm - 4058 days | #12 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
PRICELESS.....  Edited by Staff on Oct 04, 2013, 09:22pm (Khan: fixed quoteback)
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| 10-06-13 06:08am - 4057 days | #13 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Ya'know, chief, I've had you pegged as being an ace politician, but beginning to think you'd be just as good at doing stand-up. Isn't this the damnedest coincidence? I mean, how often would two guys in our situation have experienced so similar a youthful interim . , Yeah, I too slept with as many as two to three girls in a single bed during those hard times..... many a time. and there were times I also got clear signals from at least one of'm who made no bones (can I buy a vowel on "boner" please) about wantin' to play around. Unfortunately, although my hormones was up to the task, whatever followed just wasn't ready. so I nixed some of the greatest opportunities of a lifetime. Behind my mom's strong support and encouragement, she was instrumental in getting my dad into a State worker's educational program, where he came out a certified welder. Then it was on to the shipyards on the Virginia coast. I wanna continue on this, chief but really need some sleep., Will pick up later .......but before I do, gotta get this off my chest: Let me be very clear on this ...... There was "NEVER" a night when in bed with the girls were there ever any urinary accidents. An even the pissin' thing about the boys were overly dramatized. Actually it was very infrequent the others did wet the bed. But I guess I threw that in for effect. likely to draw more attention to darkness associated with the haints. | |
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| 10-06-13 07:43am - 4057 days | #14 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
That's fine. Not a biggie at all. I'm sorry for side-tracking your main theme of the thread (the haints). Feel free to drop the bedpan chatter. Former PornUsers Senior Administrator Now at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 10-06-13 10:56pm - 4056 days | #15 | |
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beautifulrock (0)
Suspended  Posts: 21 Registered: Oct 06, '13 Location: CT |
It's hard to imagine someone as thoughtful as the threadstarter seems to be, believing in ghosts. Say, you haven't ever been accused of gilding the lily, have you? Or being "long winded"? No, I will not fuck your mother simply because she's depressed that your dad left her for a albino tranny. | |
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| 10-07-13 05:05pm - 4056 days | #16 | |
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skunk (0)
Active Webmaster  Posts: 56 Registered: Jun 21, '12 Location: UK/london |
Just look on line as there are lot of thing you can try. there is a site theseer they give free information there. all so look up salt as they say spirits and demons can not cross over a line of salt or a circle of salt will protect you. :O) http://www.sexxximps.com | |
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| 10-07-13 07:31pm - 4056 days | #17 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Long-winded? Yes Gilding the lily? Gonna have to look that one up. | |
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| 10-07-13 07:47pm - 4056 days | #18 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Many thanks for the tip, skunk. I'll have to weigh the effect of all that salt on my floor hindering haints verses me slipping on the stuff and busting my ass. I will check out theseer. Might go for it as long as it's not a $29.95 monthly on automatic rebilling. | |
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