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Porn Users Forum » I just gotta share this story
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06-02-12  09:11pm - 4586 days Original Post - #1
graymane (0)
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I just gotta share this story

I try to create a relaxed exchange with all my doctors.
And with Some I can joke around -- (so it is with my Pulmonary Specialist, who always goes over the time limit during our appointments ....because, I'd like to belive, he simply enjoyes my company. (yeah, right)

Seems I got bum-lungs.... don't know why, never smoked nor inhaled anything toxic I know of; Unfortunately, though, the condition has spawned a myriad of other health problems.... all of which we're monitoring.

On My last visit, however, there was an unusual length of time wherein I was seemingly left to just languish in one of his waiting rooms.
As time went on, naughty thoughts started filling in the void -- after which I put one of them into action:
I withdrew a paper-towel from over the basin, neatly rolled it into a ball and laid it on a seat adjoining his desk.
When he finally came into the small examing room, he glanced at the towel but immediately got down to the business of discussing my case.
After that was over and we tamely exchanged our usual barbs, I pointed to the towel and said: "by the way, Doc,
I hope you don't mind but I got so bored, waiting so long, that I took the liberty of masturbating." I then added: "not to worry, I deposited my seamen in that paper towel close by where you're setting. Had to put it there cuz I couldn't find a trash can anywhere."

Our visit ended shortly thereafter, and as he bade me farewell, looking down at the damp towel as he was walking out the door said: "when you leave be sure to take THAT with you."

However, outside but still within ear-shot.. I shouted out:
"GOTTCHA."

True story

06-02-12  10:32pm - 4586 days #2
Tree Rodent (0)
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LOL nice one - although I wouldn't have the balls to do that!

06-03-12  06:21am - 4585 days #3
Denner (0)
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Hilarious...that ought to teach him... "I don't drink anymore - I freeze it, and eat it like a popcicle"

06-03-12  04:57pm - 4585 days #4
jberryl69 (0)
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Did I write that material for you? If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee.

If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat!

06-03-12  07:49pm - 4585 days #5
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


LOL nice one - although I wouldn't have the balls to do that!


In retrospect, it might've been better if my balls, too, wern't up to pullin' that kind of thing off.
Had'a do something , though, to get his attention.... I thought about helping myself to some of his medical stuff with which I could use to stuff my bathroom cabinets -- you know, like compensation for my time -- it's worth something, too, don't you know?
But it's a certainty that'll never happen.... jus' ain't in my nature to do anything even approaching that... My parents taught me better.

06-03-12  08:05pm - 4585 days #6
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by Denner:


Hilarious...that ought to teach him...


Glad you liked it, Sir Denner. Twas the precise reason why I threw it out there.
Your reply, as always, is mightily appreciated .... and I hardily thank you for jumpin' in.

06-03-12  08:13pm - 4585 days #7
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by jberryl69:


Did I write that material for you?


Let's jus' say YOUR inspiration indeed had a lot to do with it.

BTW, big guy...... did you pass on this story on to sibling jberry168? Edited on Jun 06, 2012, 08:41pm

06-03-12  10:36pm - 4585 days #8
Cybertoad (0)
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that is awesome, very funny ! Since 2007

06-04-12  01:39am - 4585 days #9
Capn (0)
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Next time he may leave you a porn mag for when he steps out.

Cap'n. Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU Award
Hilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award
( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/
Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder!

06-04-12  07:52am - 4584 days #10
Cybertoad (0)
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Originally Posted by Capn:


Next time he may leave you a porn mag for when he steps out.

Cap'n.


Or next time bring your own magazine and bottle of hand lotion and sit in the waiting room see if they ever call you ? Since 2007

06-04-12  05:32pm - 4584 days #11
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by Cybertoad:


Or next time bring your own magazine and bottle of hand lotion and sit in the waiting room see if they ever call you ?


Good idea Ct.
You and the good Cap'n have now got me to do some bolder thinking: Like, Under the right circumstances, long waits would certainly be made easier by having facilities to pipe-in, HD and on wide-screen, a wide variety of class porn..

Just slip your money into a provided slot, and push the button for the screen to come alive with whatever floats your boat.

06-04-12  10:26pm - 4584 days #12
Cybertoad (0)
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Originally Posted by graymane:


Good idea Ct.
You and the good Cap'n have now got me to do some bolder thinking: Like, Under the right circumstances, long waits would certainly be made easier by having facilities to pipe-in, HD and on wide-screen, a wide variety of class porn..

Just slip your money into a provided slot, and push the button for the screen to come alive with whatever floats your boat.


Sounds like a visit to Doctor Feel Good Is In Order Since 2007

06-04-12  11:56pm - 4584 days #13
Capn (0)
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Originally Posted by Cybertoad:


Sounds like a visit to Doctor Feel Good Is In Order


Doctor Feelgood will put you on 'Milk and Alcohol' !

Cap'n. Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU Award
Hilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award
( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/
Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder!
Edited on Jun 08, 2012, 05:37pm

06-06-12  12:46pm - 4582 days #14
Claypaws (0)
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Sorry to hear about the lungs but the story is really very funny.

06-06-12  08:24pm - 4582 days #15
graymane (0)
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Location: Virginia
Originally Posted by Claypaws:


Sorry to hear about the lungs but the story is really very funny.


Welcome on board, Claypaws. I appreciate your taking the time to comment, and esp. the kind sentiments concerning these wayward lungs.

Hope to see more from you in the future.

06-07-12  07:48am - 4581 days #16
jberryl69 (0)
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Originally Posted by graymane:



BTW, big guy...... did you pass on this story on to sibling jberry168?


I, as far as I know personally, am the only "jberry" I know, which I took from a short sci-fi story in 1972. So to answer your question directly - Nope! If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee.

If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat!

06-07-12  01:19pm - 4581 days #17
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by jberryl69:


I, as far as I know personally, am the only "jberry" I know, which I took from a short sci-fi story in 1972. So to answer your question directly - Nope!


Sorry about the confusion.
My effort not to be specfic by including anything possibly personal to the whole world, I guess this was my dumb way of referring to your sister, whom I recall you earlier mentioning is being an Md.
I figured her being a doctor, she'd esp. get a kick out of this ...... or, rather, might prefer just to use the "kick" for a strategic spot of the pracical joker's anatomy for victimizing one of her own profession.

06-07-12  03:09pm - 4581 days #18
jberryl69 (0)
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^ Oh gawd GM -

My mother is living with her and it so happens that she, my mother, has no sense of humor left in her at 86, thus my sister's view of the world is covered with a cloud of humorless vapors.

Additionally, my sister has coined the phrase and directed at me, Too Much Information!!! Since I lack any discernible boundaries as far as my family is concerned, it keeps me in luke warm waters at best.

Besides, she is not an adult doctor but rather involved in the field of keeping street kids healthy and an expert on adolescent AIDS. It's funny because her patients can talk to her about anything but I, to my frustration, cannot.

Thus the kick she'd get is to kick me in my ass for telling such a ribald tale.

But I will try Graymane to weave her a version that will perhaps make it less threatening to her sensibilities and report back. If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee.

If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat!

06-07-12  10:19pm - 4581 days #19
turboshaft (0)
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Sorry to hear about the lungs, but at least you still have your humor (and I assume the same doctor?).

Thank goodness for doctor-patient privilege--though I'm sure he can just tell a story without mentioning any names! "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove

06-08-12  12:02am - 4581 days #20
graymane (0)
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Location: Virginia
Originally Posted by turboshaft:


Sorry to hear about the lungs, but at least you still have your humor (and I assume the same doctor?).

Thank goodness for doctor-patient privilege--though I'm sure he can just tell a story without mentioning any names!


Thanks, turboshaft, for those very kind sentiments.
Actually, I have every reason to believe this doctor found this incident to be just as funny as those wondiful PU members who have tuned in to this thread, and esp. those who took the time to comment.
I further believe he'll jubilantly pass this on to all those other professionals with whom he hob-nobs -- as well as others he associates with in the field of medicine.
Why shouldn't he? Its a funny story and it'll get a laugh.

06-08-12  04:06pm - 4580 days #21
turboshaft (0)
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Originally Posted by graymane:


I further believe he'll jubilantly pass this on to all those other professionals with whom he hob-nobs -- as well as others he associates with in the field of medicine.
Why shouldn't he? Its a funny story and it'll get a laugh.


I've heard that those who work in emergency rooms--particularly on late night shifts--have tons of crazy stories to tell, particularly when there's a difference between what a patient claims happened and what most likely happened.

"It was the damnedest thing doctor..." "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove

06-08-12  05:25pm - 4580 days #22
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by turboshaft:


I've heard that those who work in emergency rooms--particularly on late night shifts--have tons of crazy stories to tell, particularly when there's a difference between what a patient claims happened and what most likely happened.

"It was the damnedest thing doctor..."


Cops love it when happy-hour breaks comes around, and/or when the doughnut store opens .... because that's when they can gather amounst their own, seizing the moment to exchange all the bizarre stories they can't wait to share with fellow officers. This proved so popular it apawned a TV show (Cops)... to also let us in on the fun.
And you're right, turbo. I'll bet'cha even weirder stuff goes on in those Emergency facilities. I've heard about some that'll curl your eye-brows.
But these kind of professionals need this perk..... what with all the gore they have to deal with.

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