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| Porn Users Forum » A Modest Proposal |
| 1-17 of 17 Posts | Page 1 |
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| 02-08-14 06:44am - 3932 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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rearadmiral (0)
Active User Posts: 1,453 Registered: Jul 16, '07 Location: NB/Canada |
A Modest Proposal I detest all sports as rabidly as someone who loves sports must hate common sense, but I’m willing to strike a compromise. As all forms of media other than porn seem saturated with Olympic coverage now, I’ve thought of something that might finally make me watch some of this coverage. This comes as I recalled finally finding a sport that I liked when I turned on the TV two years ago during the summer Olympics and had a bit of an epiphany. My proposal: Make women’s beach volleyball a winter sport too. Women’s beach volleyball has everything any sports enthusiast should like. If not, then it at least has everything I like. It has attractive, athletic women, it has attractive, athletic women is skimpy clothes, and it has attractive, athletic women in skimpy clothes who pat each other on the bum as a sign of solidarity. What more could you ask for? Well… And adding this as a winter sport too would mean that it would have attractive, athletic women in skimpy clothes who pat each other on the bum as a sign of solidarity with erect nipples! Please support me in my quest to have this included in the winter Olympics. If I’m successful with this I plan to leverage that success to lobby to have women’s beach volleyball added to other venues. The office and retail environments could be improved with this addition. So could new and used car dealerships. I’m also thinking that the Roman Catholic Mass could be improved with this too. Instead of a homily, the priest could referee a match. I’ll bet collections would go up. Oh, and in case I forgot to mention this, women’s beach volleyball has attractive, athletic women in skimpy clothes who pat each other on the bum as a sign of solidarity. Just sayin’… | |
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| 02-08-14 07:32am - 3932 days | #2 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Was it just me, or did I see a theme developing there?  Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 02-08-14 10:28am - 3932 days | #3 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
I am very disappointed in you. Here I thought you were a man of vision. It certainly doesn't have everything a sports enthusiast would like(at least me). For that you would need to add the obvious stripping their clothes off part to the sport. Let's put our cards on the table. The main reason why beach volleyball is popular is because you have some attractive athletic women jumping up and down. I dare say the bulk of viewers have no clue what the score is during a match because that's not what they are looking at. At least in my version the veil of hypocrisy surrounding this sport would be removed by adding what everyone really wants to see. You lose a point and a member of the team loses a piece of clothing. The game ends when one of the two teams is completely naked. This way viewers would be able to ogle...oops I meant to say look at many semi-naked women. To make it even more popular(probably not possible) you could add that it would be a best 2 out of 3 where the members of the loosing team has to wrestle naked in jello. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 02-08-14 10:54am - 3932 days | #4 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
^Pat's version wins, hands down!  | |
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| 02-09-14 12:22am - 3931 days | #5 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
RA, I too am missing the sports gene. As fathers go, mine was a good one, but he never threw me a ball, so a sense of physical competition never took seed. And then I discovered women's professional volleyball unlike beach VB, this took place in a gym with very healthy ladies who wore shoes and less skimpy garments. They were amazing athletes and it was not with prurient interest that I watched, though I didn't care about the score or who won. After a couple of years, their national league went broke and the sport disappeared. Thirty years later, I still miss it. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 02-09-14 02:29am - 3931 days | #6 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Don't worry, rearadmiral, you're not alone in your detestation of sports.  I could go on an on listing all the various reasons why I don't care about, much less enjoy and follow, any teams or particular sports. Though I certainly disagreed with him on many subjects, Christopher Hitchens wrote a great article about sports around the time of the last winter Olympics (he died in 2011) with his typical cynicism and contrarianism, though I think he denied both of these descriptors in numerous interviews. Just in case you haven't heard of him, if Hitchens was going to write on a subject it was usually to bitch about it, in a more elegant way than me, and he doesn't disappoint here. Before I let my  get too out of control here, I'll just say that I don't understand why, in the spirit of ostensibly bringing countries and their people together, you would think something as meaningless and purposely divisive as the Olympics are continually held up as a shining example of such. Or at the least do so without spending billions on one-use buildings and having people travel to a country controlled by an increasingly creepy president/shirtless strongman. "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 02-09-14 02:41am - 3931 days | #7 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Obviously it's the sex appeal, though I've heard many comments regarding professional female athletes and their looks, frequently of the "Yeah, she's in great shape, but that alone doesn't make someone hot." Anyway, you don't need to waste time flipping through sports channels or listening to talking head announcers, there's plenty of entertainment that cuts out the whole sports part.  Taken to its extreme, like with that American female race car driver a few years ago, what exactly is the appeal? In that case, aren't you just watching cars drive around an oval track for a few hours? Even when the athletes(?) get out they've covered almost every inch of their bodies in flame-retardant clothing. That's hardly the pinnacle of sexiness in my book, though I'm sure there's some overdressed/extra-safe-extra-sexy fetish out there I don't know about.  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 02-09-14 03:52am - 3931 days | #8 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Agreed. Cap'n. Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 02-09-14 06:35pm - 3931 days | #9 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
Granted Nascar and similar types of races where drivers are basically going round in circle only appeal to a certain part of the population. I couldn't tell you what the appeal is because I have no clue but I can certainly tell you what the appeal is with women driver. Let me rephrase that and say hot looking women drivers because those are the ones that your average guy is talking about. If Danica wasn't as cute as she is then she certainly wouldn't get talked about as much since her driving talent leaves a lot to be desired. Now picture a woman driver getting out of her car and she's wearing all those flame retardant clothes but soon she is removing those clothes and you are left with her wearing her driving uniform that is all wet from her perspiration and it's sticking in all the right places. Then there is the obvious calendar with her wearing bathing suits and bikinis. I don't think your average male driver is expected to do the calendar thing where he isn't wearing many clothes. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 02-09-14 08:23pm - 3930 days | #10 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Not to belabor my indifference too much (since I so rarely do that...  ), but I just don't understand the appeal. And more generally things like Sports Illustrated's annual and highly overrated "swimsuit" edition--though I've heard it's more of a body paint edition at this point--and those excessively douchey men's magazines of competing immaturity; the FHMs, Maxims, etc. If you're really consuming such things for the women, have you not heard of the Internet and its heroic abundance of porn in every niche, all with wide variances in quantity and quality? Unless, you're fighting "the temptations of the Great War" of online porn--of which I'd like to think I've sacrificed much for myself--than I don't see much good in wasting time with nearly-naked men's entertainment. At some point I'm liable to think you're a masochist. "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 02-10-14 10:45am - 3930 days | #11 | |
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FibiLove Co (0)
Suspended Webmaster Posts: 7 Registered: Jul 01, '11 Location: Jamaica |
maybe if you take a close look at the winter Olympics maybe you will find something that works for you | |
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| 02-10-14 04:33pm - 3930 days | #12 | |
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rearadmiral (0)
Active User Posts: 1,453 Registered: Jul 16, '07 Location: NB/Canada |
 They keep score??? Seriously? Like a real sport? I never noticed that. I'll have to keep an eye out for that next time I find a match to watch.As much as I love nudity, and I loooove nudity, I think that part of the allure is the skimpy uniforms and keeping them on is just fine with me. Unless it's for some charity benefit and then I'm okay with 'strip volleyball.'  | |
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| 02-10-14 04:34pm - 3930 days | #13 | |
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rearadmiral (0)
Active User Posts: 1,453 Registered: Jul 16, '07 Location: NB/Canada |
He might win, but if that's true and you support pat's plan, does that mean that I need to take off an article of clothes now? I hope not, because it is winter here... | |
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| 02-10-14 04:41pm - 3930 days | #14 | |
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rearadmiral (0)
Active User Posts: 1,453 Registered: Jul 16, '07 Location: NB/Canada |
I enjoy Hitchens too. If you haven't read his book Missionary Position yet I'd highly recommend it. It embodies everything that Hitchens stood for, and in this case takes a revered icon and absolutely trashes her. Hitchens seems to do his homework in everything he wrote, and this book caused me to rethink the hero-worship that surrounded Mother Theresa. I think I could sum it up by paraphrasing a general theme in the book: Mother Theresa wasn't a friend of the poor, she was a friend of poverty. It's a short book and a delightful read. The copy I have has a quote from a reviewer on the cover that I love. he calls the book "deliciously mean." There was also a short and amateurish documentary made of the same title. Hitchens lays out the same arguments in the documentary. | |
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| 02-10-14 04:43pm - 3930 days | #15 | |
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rearadmiral (0)
Active User Posts: 1,453 Registered: Jul 16, '07 Location: NB/Canada |
I think Rule 34 would apply here. I should test the theory and go looking... | |
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| 02-10-14 05:46pm - 3930 days | #16 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
It would bring a new meaning to the word stiff. That and you would likely catch a bad case of nippleltiss from the cold. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 02-10-14 09:01pm - 3929 days | #17 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
A few years ago I did; an excellent book and fairly good documentary. Should remind readers that no matter how highly held a person is he or she is only human and those we look upon as the most virtuous are more than likely anything but. I know I certainly become suspicious when words like "saint" and "blessed" are spoken seriously. And Teresa, despite having been in war zones, still called abortion the "greatest destroyer of peace today" when she received her Nobel Peace Prize. No matter how epically unqualified on a subject, religion always seems entitled to dictate to people how to live their lives. "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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