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| Porn Users Forum » How old is too old ? |
| 1-12 of 12 Posts | Page 1 |
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| 11-09-11 10:54pm - 4791 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
How old is too old ? How old is too old to watch porn? I mean if you get Alzheimer's and watch porn you could save a ton of money never having to join a new site as all the material you downloaded would seem new. I mean if you take Viagra and have Alzheimer's do you remember that you have erection ? Or remember why you have one ? What if you forgot what porn was? I mean could it just seem the same as watching a Pepsi commercial? It could be really weird to try and figure out if you had Alzheimer's why your sock is now glued to your pecker or why you try and drink the bottle of lube. Three sisters, aged 81, 83 and 85, live together. One night the 85 year old draws a bath for herself. As she sticks her foot in, she pauses. She yells to her sisters downstairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 83 year old shouts back loudly, "I don't know. Let me come up there and see." She begins walking up the stairs, but then pauses . She yells to her sisters "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 81 year old is sitting in the living room, enjoying some tea. She listens to her sisters, shakes her head and mutters to herself, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful. Knock on wood." She then turns and shouts, "I'll come up there and help both of you as soon as I see who's knocking at the door." Since 2007 | |
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| 11-09-11 10:56pm - 4791 days | #2 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Behind the wheel As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Picking up, he heard his wife, her voice high with anxiety, warn him, "Henry, I just saw on the news that there's a car driving the wrong way on Highway 880. Please be careful!" "One?" replied Henry, "You've got to be kidding me. I see at least a hundred!" Since 2007 | |
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| 11-09-11 11:01pm - 4791 days | #3 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Old Age Ode. My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes. ct Since 2007 | |
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| 11-09-11 11:02pm - 4791 days | #4 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces." The pharmacist said "That won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I'm over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes". Since 2007 | |
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| 11-09-11 11:03pm - 4791 days | #5 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29". "I am actually 47." Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds." Since 2007 | |
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| 11-09-11 11:06pm - 4791 days | #6 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving. She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING." The patrolman says, "May I see your license?" The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE." The woman gives him her license. The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had." The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" "HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells. Since 2007 | |
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| 11-09-11 11:08pm - 4791 days | #7 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football... I just scored." A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7." Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he has, but instead of farting, he poops the bed. The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?" The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides." Since 2007 | |
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| 11-10-11 09:10am - 4791 days | #8 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Good Stuff, CT. Hang in there!  Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 11-10-11 03:10pm - 4791 days | #9 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
An old man, around 85, is sitting on a park bench. He's crying his eyes out. A younger man approaches, and says, "You're really distraught! What's the matter?" The old man replies, "I've got a beautiful young woman at home. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I take my Viagra and we have the most wonderful sex. She's so sweet and caring. I just love her!" The younger man, very surprised, says, "Well, it's sounds like you live a life most men only dream of, especially men of your age. So why all the tears?" The elderly man resumes sobbing. In between a couple of gasps, he cries out, "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!" I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 11-10-11 09:30pm - 4790 days | #10 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
LOL Thats a good one Since 2007 | |
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| 11-11-11 10:22am - 4790 days | #11 | |
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Ed2009 (0)
Suspended Webmaster  Posts: 509 Registered: Sep 12, '09 Location: Wales, UK |
 Lots of good ones there, guys. Thanks for sharing! Webmaster of StripGameCentral and A Measure of Curiosity. | |
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| 11-29-11 10:17pm - 4771 days | #12 | |
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slategrey (0)
Active User  Posts: 8 Registered: Nov 21, '10 Location: |
Very funny jokes | |
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