Welcome GUEST!      CREATE ACCOUNT - Forgot Password?

Create an account to share your experiences and more!

E-MAIL   PASS  

Auto Log-in Future Sessions (on this computer).
  
Forum Thread A note about the site and any replies from other users.
Porn Users Forum » SEX JOKES ... VOL. III
1-5 of 5 Posts Page 1
 
Thread Nav :  Refresh Page  |   First Post  |   Last Post  |   Porn Forum Home

04-05-17  11:45am - 2818 days Original Post - #1
Darius (0)
Suspended



Posts: 46
Registered: Aug 11, '16
SEX JOKES ... VOL. III

Tough crowd... jeez.

Okay, here we go again.


i)

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says he needs an hour to check it out. So the penguin goes across the street to the 7-Eleven to kill some time and get an ice cream. Since the penguin has no hands, the poor little guy gets the ice cream all over his beak. He returns to the mechanic and the guy tells him, "Looks like you blew a seal." "Oh no," says the penguin, "this is just a little ice cream."


ii)

Q: What's the difference between yo momma and a washing machine?
A: When I drop a load in the washing machine, it doesn't follow me around for a week.

iii)

A man walks into a pub and asks for 12 shots of vodka. The barman says, "Wow, 12. Are you celebrating?" The man replies, "I've just experienced my first blow job." The barman says, "That's brilliant. Let me get you another one on the house." The man replies, "No, that's okay. If the twelfth one doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will."


iv)

Just had a dangerous mole removed from the end of my penis. Definitely won't be shagging one of those again.

v)

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch." -D

04-05-17  01:09pm - 2818 days #2
Drooler (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 1,831
Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA
ii and iv had me laughing


What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Apr 05, 2017, 01:19pm

04-05-17  05:56pm - 2817 days #3
pat362 (0)
Active User



Posts: 3,575
Registered: Jan 23, '07
Location: canada
^Yeah I have to concur with you. III and IV are the best. Yours is also quite good. Long live the Brown Coats.

04-06-17  08:33am - 2817 days #4
merc77 (0)
Disabled User

Posts: 291
Registered: Apr 17, '16
What's the difference between a rooster and your Momma?

A rooster goes cockadoodledoo and your Momma goes Any cock will do.

(An oldie from junior high.) "Dogs think people are Gods. Cats don't as they know better." - Kedi (2016)

Dogs have masters; Cats have staff.

04-06-17  08:47am - 2817 days #5
Drooler (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 1,831
Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA
Why don't women blink during foreplay?

There isn't enough time.
-------------------------------

How is a new wife like a tornado?
First, there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you lose your house.
-------------------------------

As I became a young man, my dad had a lot of advice for me.

I remember he sat me down once, and he said, "Son, don't go to any of those really cheap, dirty, nasty, sleazy strip clubs because if you do, you'll see something you shouldn't."

So of course I went, and I saw my dad.


(This is pretty much taken from a joke Rick Wakeman told at the Yes induction at the Rock 'n Hall of Fame.) I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Apr 09, 2017, 08:32pm

1-5 of 5 Posts Page 1
 
Thread Nav :  Refresh Page  |   First Post  |   Last Post  |   Porn Forum Home


Home - Sites - Users - Reviews - Comments - Categories - Forum

Contact Us - Announcements - FAQ's - Terms & Rules - Cookies - DMCA - 2257 - Porn Review - Webmasters

Protecting Minors
We are strong supporters of RTA and ICRA, two of the most recognized self labeling organizations. Our site is properly labeled to assist in the protection of minors accessing inappopriate content. For information about filtering tools, check this site.

DISCLAIMER: ALL MODELS APPEARING ON THIS WEBSITE ARE 18 YEARS OR OLDER.

To report child pornography, go directly to ASACP!  We're proud to be a corporate sponsor.
Have concerns or questions about porn addiction?  We recommend this helpful resource.

All Rights Reserved © 2003-2024 PornUsers.com.


Loaded in 0.01 seconds.