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| Porn Users Forum » Snatch Seeker |
| 1-17 of 17 Posts | Page 1 |
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| 09-28-11 08:23pm - 4834 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Snatch Seeker So my buddie and I rented a big van... after which we installed temporary, strategically placed cameras and fold-down back seats. We went to great pain to make it as pussy-friendly as possible. After watching endless footage of guys on the internet picking gals up off the street, gettin' them into their vehicle and persuading them to peel, give BJs, fuck in every position space would allow, press a hundred-dollar bill in their soft palm and send them on their way -- how much easier and better could it be? I mean, tender young snatch so willing it's actually snapping to get at your pecker. Icing on the cake is we're gonna get rich doing all this. First day out we spot our prey: Lovely young thing walking along the sidewalk all alone. Each cheek of her delectable ass shifting from side to side with each step, likened to plump lips opening and coming together, which, sadly, will likely and ultimately via some genetic process grow into likened fat lips opening and coming together. I make my pitch: "Hi there, sweetheart" ...(no response). "My but you're a pretty girl"...(no response) "What's your name, darlin'" (response) ..."Fuck off you bunch of over-aged, wrinkled-ass, sriveled-pricked bastards!?" Damned, I'm thinking, this ain't supposed to happen. I've ever seen this sort of thing on the porn sites. "Eh, look. There's a hundred bucks, and more, in it for you if you'll just step into our van an just talk. (response) "What are you, some morbid kind of idiot? Do I look as brainless as you two assholes that I'd get in a van with two dumb-ass strangers?" "An' you'd better haul ass outta my sight cuz I'm already dialing the cops on my cell." Needless to say, I burnt rubber gettin' outta there. Our egos now in shambles; our sights to a future of limitless pussy now dimmed; Our bank withdrawl of the few c-notes going to naught; cut down to wet grass by a scorching vocal attack by what's supposed to be the "weaker sex." And last but not least, a week left on a van I won't be using for the purpose I wanted....all coming together as a painful disillusionment. All I came away from all this was the hauntingly burning question: How the hell do those guys on the porn sites make it look so easy? How do they do it? DUH! | |
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| 09-29-11 01:33am - 4834 days | #2 | |
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Rudigar (0)
Active User Posts: 13 Registered: Apr 03, '11 Location: Sydney |
 Funniest thing I've read this week!!! | |
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| 09-29-11 04:16am - 4834 days | #3 | |
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Ed2009 (0)
Suspended Webmaster  Posts: 509 Registered: Sep 12, '09 Location: Wales, UK |
 I thought that was going to be a spam post at first, but no! Excellent work. Webmaster of StripGameCentral and A Measure of Curiosity. | |
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| 09-29-11 07:12am - 4834 days | #4 | |
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otoh (0)
Active User Posts: 159 Registered: Sep 17, '10 Location: UK |
So, graymane, you're suggesting it's all fake? That the girls are willing models, and in on it? Surely not! Next you'll be telling me there's no Santa Claus... | |
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| 09-29-11 09:15am - 4834 days | #5 | |
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manholelover (0)
Active User  Posts: 37 Registered: Jun 17, '11 Location: London, UK |
Hilarous Graymane, Add to that two old guys, buying a van, doing it up etc, and approaching some bruiser, intimidating, scary WASP loving straight guy, ask him to come into the van and get his dick sucked by a couple of gay guys...and surprisingly, they acquiesce, titter and laugh at how funny it was...no hint of un urge to cut the cock off the offending guys.... | |
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| 09-29-11 12:30pm - 4833 days | #6 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
(Quote) "Suggesting it's fake? Willing (in on it) recipients?" Well yeaaaaaah! (Quote) "Next my saying there's No Santa Claus?" Nada, Otoh.... "next" is upon us...... I spotted him last Xmas at Sears. Thanks for the post, Otoh. Always a treat when you come around.  | |
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| 09-29-11 12:58pm - 4833 days | #7 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Great perspective representing a Gay approach. Thanks for adding the extra pizzazz, MHL, always a pleasure having you drop in.  | |
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| 09-29-11 01:05pm - 4833 days | #8 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Thanks for the kind words, ED. Always a bonus when we get attention from our valued WebMasters  | |
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| 09-29-11 02:48pm - 4833 days | #9 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Thanks, graymane, that was the best spoof of the "reality" genre I've had the pleasure to read. | |
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| 09-29-11 03:49pm - 4833 days | #10 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Well, so it seems it isn't as easy as it looks!  Who would have thought that!  Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 09-29-11 09:19pm - 4833 days | #11 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Coming from a guy who, in his own right being one of the forum's more prolific writers, I'd say I was bestowed a rather lofty compliment.....thanks, Sir Messmer If you're listening, Capn, ... . let me take this opportunity to include the fact nothing brightens up a thread more than your input......so thanks for lettin' the sunshine in on this one. | |
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| 10-02-11 06:32am - 4831 days | #12 | |
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Tree Rodent (0)
Active User  Posts: 708 Registered: Oct 29, '08 Location: UK |
Spot on as always graymane. Not only funny but very accurate. You're not Wittyguy's dad by any chance are you? | |
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| 10-02-11 06:49am - 4831 days | #13 | |
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Denner (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,217 Registered: Mar 03, '07 Location: Denmark |
What a story, what a way back to reality...hilarious! Thanks from another "old geezer"...and "over-aged, wrinkled-ass, sriveled-pricked bastard".  "I don't drink anymore - I freeze it, and eat it like a popcicle" Edited on Oct 02, 2011, 06:54am | |
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| 10-02-11 06:57am - 4831 days | #14 | |
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Ed2009 (0)
Suspended Webmaster Posts: 509 Registered: Sep 12, '09 Location: Wales, UK |
"Reality porn" sites would be hilarious if they really were showing what would really happen. Maybe that's a new direction they could try? Webmaster of StripGameCentral and A Measure of Curiosity. | |
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| 10-02-11 05:19pm - 4830 days | #15 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Glad to have the company, Denner. Thanks. Figuratively speaking, Tis Generous of you to take the same bullet on my behalf like this. Edited on Oct 04, 2011, 04:33pm | |
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| 10-02-11 06:15pm - 4830 days | #16 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Not related... but thanks for the thought. I'd consider it a hefty privilege to even be included in a conversation with Witty, not to mention a genetic connection. The man's truely gifted. | |
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| 10-04-11 04:35pm - 4828 days | #17 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Awesome, ED....This "new direction" idea you brought up is a brilliant idea. I really think it would fly. | |
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