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11-02-13  11:18am - 4068 days #131
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:


The boy says, "It's dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that mess again!"


Now *that's* funny! "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

11-02-13  11:09am - 4068 days #15
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
I suspect the percentage isn't all that similar, biker. Of my female friends, maybe half -- maybe -- look at porn, and for some of those it's just an occasional thing. Whereas most guys I know are pretty familiar with the field, and some are downright addicted.

Still, I'd bet the figure is much larger than 12 percent for women -- at least triple that, probably. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

11-01-13  07:43pm - 4069 days #103
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
I think both look very attractive. Well done. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

11-01-13  07:41pm - 4069 days #13
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Even among women, 12 percent would be awfully low. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

08-14-12  02:38pm - 4513 days #26
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by BadMrFrosty:

Or maybe I am just lucky enough to have found myself one of the 1%


Yup. Congrats on that! "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

08-14-12  04:31am - 4513 days #24
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by BadMrFrosty:


Easy, during a casual conversation you ask her if there is anything you don't do in bed that she would like to try. After listening thoughtfully to her response you then tell her what you would like to try. Then you start to barter. Bish bosh, job done.


Haha ... so smooth.

Note, however, that when a guys says, "Is there anything we don't do in bed that you'd like to try, dear?"

(a) 99 percent of us will say "no" (listen thoughtfully to that)

and

(b) we're probably all thinking, "Uh oh, what does he want me to do now?"

Nice try, though. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

08-14-12  04:14am - 4513 days #10
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by marcdc1:


Thank you all for your understanding. It was an honest and stupid mistake. I'm embarrassed to say I multiplied by 4 instead of the correct number... 12.


I'd worry more about users who are actually doing the math, marc. But you're honorable for alerting us to the miscalculation. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

08-11-12  03:22pm - 4516 days #2
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
You're a gentleman, messmer.

I expect that any cam model would develop a pretty thick skin -- or else quit the job. It *is* disturbing to witness the abuse some of these models take. Clearly, there are a whole lot of men who have serious issues with women. Anonymity seems to bring out the worst in some.

If I were a cam model, I'd have to adopt the attitude that I'm a paid actress -- a fictional character available for role play. That doesn't mean I'd fulfill the requests of extremists; but when a guy became rude, I'd dismiss him as a crank pathetic enough to engage in name-calling of a virtual model. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

08-09-12  10:26am - 4518 days #6
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
An odd question, I think. Sex is a physical activity that need not require romantic connection. The sex trade wouldn't exist otherwise. Chances are the whore you're banging in room 205 isn't your soulmate.

I'm not even convinced that being in love makes for better sex. Being freed of any bond may result in a more honest, passionate session. To each his/her own.

Maybe I'm not grasping the essence of the question. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

08-08-12  09:05am - 4519 days #10
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
I'm on a Mac, and I use Camino. I'm different. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

08-01-12  08:30pm - 4526 days #6
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:


I don't know if the implants opened some doors because she started doing more anal and that tends to open a lot of doors.


A lot of back doors. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-22-12  02:55pm - 4536 days #5
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by jberryl69:


^wow, looking at some of the index pages for Kacey I think she might end up smothering you with her snuggling.




If she'd lived centuries ago, artists would be sculpting her. She's a classic, voluptuous beauty. My snuggle invitation remains. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-22-12  01:22pm - 4536 days #3
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Capn:


Because she can?

Cap'n.


Ha! She's flaunting.

For the record, I'm fond of Kacey at ShowyBeauty. I would enjoy snuggling with her. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-21-12  01:02pm - 4537 days #7
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:


^You are so bad. What exactly goes through the mind of a 72 years old man that makes him think that jerking off in a movie theater is a good idea?


Agreed. But what exactly does a cop doing a "random search" expect to find in such a place? It irks me to no end that these sorts of busts take place. As long as Fred's willard is causing no discomfort to anyone else, let him be. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-20-12  12:05pm - 4538 days #3
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Public masturbation? Have you tried Fred Willard?

(Sorry.) "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-18-12  07:42pm - 4540 days #4
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Wikipedia says she was a "pioneer" in "clown porn." My goodness, doesn't she deserve a more dignified summary than that? I wasn't even aware that such a porn genre existed.

According to an article I found using Google, the cancer spread to many areas of her body. She probably never had a chance.

As messmer noted, someone that young just shouldn't have to deal with such suffering. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-18-12  03:36pm - 4540 days #5
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Micha:

It looks prurient but beyond that, What the fuck is it?


I certainly wouldn't f*** with it. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-18-12  03:45am - 4540 days #14
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:

They do all the same shit like spitting, drooling, choking, vomiting and all the other stuff.


Who says romance is dead? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-16-12  03:57pm - 4542 days #32
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:


Golly, Chief! I gotta say it's a relief and a pleasure to see that you're still with us. Having not seen you popping up with your usual regulariy has had me worried.


Nothing brings people out of the woodwork like a good grammar debate. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-16-12  12:05pm - 4542 days #27
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by jberryl69:


Dammit - you did interrupt, so it can't be Not...just "To interrupt"


Ha -- Khan's been schooled. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-16-12  12:04pm - 4542 days #26
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Khan:


Not to interrupt the English grammar lesson, but ...


Khan, please raise your hand before contributing. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-16-12  04:02am - 4542 days #22
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

The grammatical error in post #11 I was referring to has to do with a sentence ending in a preparation: "all of which I'm well aware of"


Actually, graymane, there's nothing wrong with ending sentences with prepositions -- that's an age-old prescription that's been discounted for some time. It doesn't mean that a better sentence can't be constructed by moving the preposition elsewhere, but that's a stylistic concern, not grammatical.

Since I do plan to teach at some point, I'll begin toning my calves immediately. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-15-12  07:01pm - 4543 days #19
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Agreed on all counts, Claypaws. Like you, I side with readability when it comes to these sorts of grammatical conundrums. Besides, graymane deserves a break from the school marm, though I did change my profile pic to appear more stern.

Now, slide me over a nice warm piece of quiche and a cup of cold milk, and let's discuss your salvation. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-15-12  05:28pm - 4543 days #17
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:


BTW, Heather .......I'd be interested to know if Miss Grammar picked up on another grammatical bo-bo that I inadvertently made in my #11 post.


Hmm ... well, you have two possible errors involving singular subjects used with plural pronouns or referents:

(1) you use the singular "anyone" (as in "anyone out there") and "they're" (in "they're right"). That sentence should technically be, "But if this thread strikes anyone out there to mean I'm writing all this from personal experience, then naturally HE'S right ..." (or "she's" ... emphasis mine)

(2) you use "all of which" in the last clause, even though your subject is the singular mass noun "variety" (as in "variety of sources" a singular mass noun).

God, I'm getting turned on.

Both cases could conceivably be termed errors, but even Miss Grammar thinks that's being hypercritical. And the second case might very well be correct as is, with the "which" clause understood to be referring only to "sources."

However, you misspelled "boo boo" above. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-15-12  05:09pm - 4543 days #16
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Claypaws:

Uninvited callers are inevitably people trying to sell me something or save me from eternal damnation.


Repent now, Claypaws. And pass the quiche, please. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-15-12  03:55pm - 4543 days #13
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

It's easy to see she's got a mind sharper than a surgical blade.


Bring me your dangling modifier, and watch me slice. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-15-12  08:02am - 4543 days #7
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

Welcome to Porn addiction.

Exaggeration? Don�t think it ever gets that bad?
Believe it.
Just as sure as sailors long at sea flog-their-log,
The answer speaks for itself...


Thank you for this Public Service Announcement, but you forgot to add, "Soon, you have a photo collection of two to three million."

Also, it will make you blind.

Let's put a poster together for the subways.

Oh, and Miss Grammar advises that it's not possible to "leaf through" Internet sites. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-14-12  12:01pm - 4544 days #31
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

Yes it is ... and a very bad one at that.


Then I guess I won't need this after all.

"Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-14-12  11:22am - 4544 days #15
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by elephant:


sprung to mind whilst eating my cereals


Cereal as aphrodisiac? Hmm ... pass the Lucky Charms, please. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-14-12  11:17am - 4544 days #29
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:


Waiting's not an option, Heather .......Doctor told me I might have only days to live.


Please assure me that this is a joke. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-14-12  04:02am - 4544 days #25
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by RagingBuddhist:


You were/are probably the wrong gender.


Ha! I guess I invited that one. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-14-12  04:01am - 4544 days #24
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by jberryl69:


It's interesting that Heather's sign-up was Jul 30, 07 so been around for five years and is just now starting to post on a regular basis.


Yeah, I've been intermittent at best. I think I posted to the forum a couple of times the first year or two, then I just forgot about it. Even when I'd come and read reviews occasionally, I'd forget about the forum. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-12-12  05:38pm - 4546 days #9
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


HeatherMcXxx, over half the boy-girl porn videos I've seen the guy has a flaccid penis at some point.


I wasn't really referring to porn scenes. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-12-12  09:42am - 4546 days #4
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by jberryl69:

She tells TV Guide magazine, "(I cried) every time I wore it.


I cry every time I see a flaccid penis, too. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-12-12  04:32am - 4546 days #21
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

That's to say, You're not gonna confess you're actually a man, Heaven forbid!


Haha. Not that kind of surprise -- that would be a drag.

Though it sure worked in The Crying Game. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-11-12  05:59pm - 4547 days #17
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Glad we're on the same page, graymane. Just wait for the surprise ending! "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-11-12  04:26am - 4547 days #9
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by elephant:

Holey Poley


Ha -- I like that. Sounds like the hokey pokey -- "you put it in and shake it all about"? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-10-12  07:04pm - 4548 days #13
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Micha:


Things you could say :
(most everything here will evoke a positive response )

Wanna see my pussy in church ?


I tried that, but the priest showed no interest.

Thanks for the wonderfully entertaining post, Micha.

Of course, while I don't doubt the sincerity of anything you've said above, a female who acts sluttish, wanton, etc., tends to have a short shelf life with a male. Approaching a guy and exclaiming "Want to see my pussy?" assures you of a night with said male (or at least a quickie) and probably no more. Am I wrong? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-10-12  06:55pm - 4548 days #12
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by messmer:


All I needed was to feel love and desire coming from my partner and then hold her, silky to the touch, lingerie clad body for a moment or two. That's all it takes (took) to get me going.

Emotions played a huge part in my sex life that's why casual sex was out, not for moral reasons but because I did need to feel that loving bond between my partner and myself.

Sorry to be so serious about the subject but I still mourn, age and illness have robbed me of a very important part of my life. Porn is good but it isn't real life.


Hugs, messmer. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-10-12  06:54pm - 4548 days #11
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

lay a cornucopia of stuff about just about anything.


Wow ... did you just use "cornucopia"? Be still my beating heart.

Take me, graymane. I'm an open book for you. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-10-12  03:54am - 4548 days Original Post - #1
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI


As a lover of language, I'm always delighted to experience inventive terms, especially regarding sex. Someone on tumblr has been circulating a list of euphemisms for the vagina, and while some are disgusting and many negative, I did enjoy these 10 euphemistic alternatives quite a lot:

beef curtains
cloven tuft
dick sharpener
flesh tuxedo
lapland
mount pleasant
pipe cleaner
snake charmer
vertical grimace
willy washer "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-10-12  03:41am - 4548 days #5
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
All good points, graymane (and slutty, too). Glad I could "pump" you for info.

The art of erotic massage is, indeed, incomparable when performed by a skillful masseuse. I think all of us -- Johnsons and non-Johnsons alike -- should enjoy the experience and commit ourselves to learning the craft as a way of pleasing our partners in unexpected and wonderfully satisfying ways. You don't have to be an expert, after all: just competent enough (and sensitive enough) to bring your partner (slowly and skillfully) to a knee-slapping conclusion (or some such).

You may live somewhere that has a class you can take (recommended), but there's plenty of info available, and if you combine that with enjoying the experience yourself occasionally with a pro (plop down some cash, claim you're doing research), you'll be miles ahead of most in the bedroom. Think how impressed and surprised your lover will be when you glide your fingers lightly, up and down, over the backs of their legs and along the inner thighs and ... whatever's next. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-09-12  07:25pm - 4549 days Original Post - #1
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI


In another thread, Micha asked those of us with vaginas to list those things that make a woman squirm in bed. I invite all of you with penises to suggest how we (i.e., those of us with vaginas) might better tickle your fancy in the bedroom. I'm hoping to gain some valuable tips here. Any takers? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-09-12  07:14pm - 4549 days #8
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

The hell with my head, it's my balls that I'd worry about


HAHA! That's what you get for being "straightforward," graymane.

I loved your post! I have a weakness for punsters. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-07-12  05:23pm - 4551 days #5
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Cybertoad:


How many post do I have to have to get my Rookie Badge Khan ?


Aren't you sheriff, Cybertoad? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-07-12  02:56pm - 4551 days #5
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Micha:


Heather, that in fact was not a good reply. It was a great reply. You give wings to words.


This might sound cheesy, I know, but this post made my week.



Thanks, Micha -- a big hug to you. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-07-12  02:53pm - 4551 days #45
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Drooler:


Pictures of the girl leaping in mid-air. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with those.


Haha! I laughed out loud at this. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-07-12  03:15am - 4551 days #33
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:


Where else could a lady immerse yourself around a pool of guys possessed with this kind of positive intellect?


I'm hoping that's a rhetorical question. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-07-12  03:13am - 4551 days #32
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by turboshaft:

my views on relationships ... run from cynical to downright nihilistic.


You're a nihilist, turbo? That must be exhausting. (Sorry, couldn't resist a Big Lebowski reference.) "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-07-12  03:01am - 4551 days #31
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:

I like your suggestion about doing house work but it has to be a regular thing or you know she will be suspicious of the deed.


I promise, pat, that no woman can resist a man who cleans -- even on occasion. That's certain to bring out the dirty in her. Sweep her off her feet! "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

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