Monster Pimps (0)
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| Status: |
Current Member for less than 1 month (at the time of review).
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| Pros: |
- This old, small network used to be a diamond in the rough for fetishists even though the content doesn’t look like it.
- The old content is still on the network. Anything else said will make this not a pro.
- Some videos have 1080p, nothing higher and most are lower but are downloadable and unlimited.
- With a name like Monster Pimps one isn’t likely to assume pictures are the main focus but pictures are. With five times as many downloadable photosets as videos this is a photocentric network.
- Download speeds are good (75% my max).
- Do we give points for making me feel nostalgic? |
| Cons: |
- Oh boy, just go look at it. It looks like a site from 2002 that I once used dial-up internet to access. Which is probably why it was more photos than videos.
- The price. I accept that a site has seen its better days. Hell, its better decade. The price is still $29.95. The positive is they use Epoch.
- Being a fetishist continues to become more difficult. It’s why (and the only reason) you would consider this network. |
| Bottom Line: |
I joined Monster Pimps somewhere around 2005, maybe 2006, maybe 2008. It fit that era of porn. There was Lightspeed University as example. This network covered five of my favorite niches or fetishes. Those are:
Panty Jobs – Not to be confused with the Evil Angel series, Panty Pops, which is what Panty Pops is. Panty Jobs was probably the first site to ever combine tease with handjob and teasing panties with sex. The premise is simple. The female, usually very young and cute, gets the man aroused and sits on his lap in her panties or a pulled up skirt. She slides his dick into her panties and grinds and uses sexual motions and groans. One of my all-time favorite niches. One of the sexiest niches.
Exploited Secretaries – Who doesn’t like secretary, office clothes, teacher porn? This is the fetish for young straight men. It could have been a teacher. It could have been a school nurse or secretary. Even if you’re older, it could have been that sweet temporary receptionist you hired. It’s just a good all-around niche. There’s not a lot that can go wrong with it.
Lipstick BJ – This wasn’t one I had a lot of interest in. I really didn’t like lipstick BJs. It’s not easy to explain how you got rose-colored lips on your underwear. This was the really reaching niche of the network. It even reminds me of smoking fetish. I’m sure there are people that like seeing a blowjob with the performing woman having on bright lipstick. What is important with this site’s inclusion is you can see how heavy this network was on fetish. They were basing entire sites on one niche. That also is a problem on this network. Similar to handjob porn that never does anything except handjob. It’s the same thing scene after scene. It never changed on this site.
Cheer Girls – Ding, ding, ding, the forever winner in teen porn, cheerleaders! I never liked cheerleaders. I was a jock. I still didn’t like them but in porn, yeah, I liked them. Those cheer outfits fit so many fetishes. Upskirts, panties, hose, bouncing boobs and I will say the cheerleading outfit may have been the first outfit that made me realize some women look better in clothes than naked. The site and fetish, to me, had no expiration date. This fetish should be a winner in porn at all times. Even with that said, there was one more fetish that topped all for me.
Sport Babes – Could you have made a more perfect network for me? This is a site featuring real, sporty, girls. They tease, they get naked, there’s some masturbation, some lesbian activity and it was the cherry on top of this once expected to be great network.
That was a sigh you heard. There are maybe some updates. I don’t think so. I don’t see updates for the last 5 years or more. What you are joining for if you do join is the old content. They do have some 1080p videos and their photosets are very good. Those could be in higher resolution but other than that, you can see how much potential this network once had. Which is why there is no way the price should be $29.95. It’s at best, a $9.95 network for those wanting to see tease and fun porn. Some of the things we used to complain about with porn are now things that kind of make me laugh. Like the Lipstick BJs. Not only does the model make sure she has fresh lipstick on she has to make sure she leaves a lipstick imprint on the man.
There is still something good about this type of porn. I think it’s the feeling of nostalgia. A lot of guys maybe went through the same things these scenes show. It’s hard to give it a high score but it’s not hard to not give it a terrible score. If you liked porn before 2007-08, somewhere in there and there is a promo for the network, it’s worth joining for under $10. I would bump the score up if it was cheaper. The network also is not big, nearly half or maybe more than half of the scenes are on Panty Jobs and that is my favorite site on the network. I don’t mind that. Others probably would mind it. Based on my numbers, if you wanted to call this a live network that is still operating, they have averaged about 50 updates (counting photosets) per year since the network started 15 years ago. I think my score is fair and shows how in-between I was on this long overdue return to an old favorite. |
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