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Porn Users Forum » NoFagsHere indeed... I'm off!
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07-11-14  05:49pm - 3817 days Original Post - #1
gaypornolover (0)
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Posts: 153
Registered: Jul 09, '11
Location: Birmingham, UK
NoFagsHere indeed... I'm off!

I'm sick of being on a site which allows a user to use the name "NoFagsHere".

I have discussed this with the site management/admins before and I thought I'd could cope with it, but nope, I just don't want to come onto a site when the first thing I see after some time away is "NoFagsHere".

So - there'll be one less fag here, because I've had it.

Bye all - thanks to everyone who has been kind and welcoming to me, but I just don't feel comfortable on this site anymore. Edited by Staff on Jul 12, 2014, 09:47am

07-11-14  11:17pm - 3816 days #2
Parsnip (0)
Active User

Posts: 39
Registered: Oct 29, '13
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
I entirely agree with you. I saw that name yesterday and considered complaining. I am straight, but even to me that name is outright offensive, and deliberately so.

Obviously, by allowing it, the owners of this site are confusing freedom of expression with freedom to abuse. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Nofagshere you are a repulsive homophobic bigot. You and your kind should just crawl back under your rocks. Nothing you could write on this site could be considered in any way worthwhile. The world would be a better place without you.

Gaypornlover - I doubt we have any porn viewing habits in common, but you should be welcome on any site or forum.

I am Parsnip. Straight but not narrow.

07-12-14  08:24am - 3816 days #3
Cybertoad (0)
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Posts: 2,158
Registered: Jan 01, '08
Location: Wash
Originally Posted by gaypornolover:


I'm sick of being on a site which allows a user to use the name "NoFagsHere".



I saw the name today and then a review, it means someone here saw the name and approved it anyways.

I see using the name F*g the same as using the name N**ger here. Its hateful and derogatory.
I grew up in the 60's and 70's in the San fransisco bay area, you have no ideas what hate is until living it. the word F*G, was used to drive hate towards others. The papers would show over and over again homosexuals beating and harrased and F*G was the word used.

I too am a straight guy, and while homosexuality is not my taste this was really wrong to allow.
Shit I read that and after processing it and seeing staff knows and allowed it I said thats fucked up. I appreciate the freedom, but this is too much.

Difference of opinions is one thing, allowing hate is not acceptable. F*G does not mean gay it means HATE!!! It has me even thinking about leaving if this is not fixed.

GPL should get an apology at he very least and that user removed and or policies changed.

I am really pissed off about this. Since 2007

07-12-14  09:06am - 3816 days #4
pat362 (0)
Active User



Posts: 3,575
Registered: Jan 23, '07
Location: canada
I'm glad this was pointed out because I honestly didn't even look at the user name he used. It is an offensive term and not one that should be allowed anywhere. Let alone here. Long live the Brown Coats.

07-12-14  10:27am - 3816 days #5
Khan (0)
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Posts: 1,737
Registered: Jan 05, '07
Location: USA
For the record, we do not have a policy about censoring user names here at PornUsers and at this late state of its evolution, creating a new policy and screening all existing user names for terms that might be potentially offensive to one or more users, would shift focus and resources from building MyPorn.

FWIW, I too think it's a crappy user name and even wrote the user an email suggesting it would be good to change it.

But, because of the issues that gaypornolover made us aware of, when MyPorn launches, it will *not* allow such user names.



UPDATE:

I asked Rick for special permission to change this one user acct and he granted it. So, the offensive user name has now been changed. Former PornUsers Senior Administrator
Now at: MyPorn.com

"To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson
Edited on Jul 12, 2014, 10:46am

07-12-14  11:12am - 3816 days #6
Parsnip (0)
Active User

Posts: 39
Registered: Oct 29, '13
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Thanks for the prompt response. I like what you changed it too!

07-12-14  11:12am - 3816 days #7
EverNight (0)
Disabled User

Posts: 23
Registered: Jan 16, '14
Personally I'm tired of people caving in and censoring things because of fear. Fear they will be labeled a homophobe, or bigot, or misogynist, or whatever some "feelings fascist" claims you are because they have been supposedly offended.

Its one thing if a user is actively harassing another, but as I understand it that has not occurred here. So to censor someone's user name to appease others is in my opinion bad to do.

I don't happen to like the username either, but you know what? Somehow I think I'll be able to soldier on. There's lots of things in life I don't like. But I don't think the answer is to throw a temper tantrum claiming outrage in hopes of depriving others of their free speech and expression.

I bet the very fact that this site exists at all offends someone out there. Should it be taken down because someone might find it offensive? There's really no end to censorship based on offensiveness.

Out of curiosity, did anyone ask if the user recently quit smoking Edited on Jul 12, 2014, 12:37pm

07-12-14  02:34pm - 3816 days #8
gaypornolover (0)
Active User

Posts: 153
Registered: Jul 09, '11
Location: Birmingham, UK
Thank you Khan and Rick and to everyone who replied in support.

I'm sorry if anyone was offended by this thread but it's not easy being one of the very few gay users on the site and to see that kind of username every time you log on to the site.

EverNight, I appreciate your point of view, but ultimately this is supposed to be a safe site where everyone who is into porn can feel welcome and discuss something that yes, many in society would object to - but that's entirely my point.

People who don't like porn wouldn't come here - but for people who do, it's a place where like-minded people can come and discuss something that may be taboo in society and isn't easy to discuss in day to day life.

I think everyone should be welcome here to do that. The site allows gay listings, and there's been discussions before on how few women and gay users there are on the site - this kind of thing goes part of the way to answer why.

As for censorship - this site already does that - it doesn't allow links to certain types of site for example - many users who have tried to link to sites which don't meet the sites policy have found their links deleted. So the site already sets its own community standards about what they will and will not allow - I think that's pretty standard on most web forums.

On a site which is concerned with sexuality, I do think it's sensible to have a policy which doesn't allow users to pick usernames which criticize a sexual orientation which is well-represented on this site.

I'm not gong to go on some neo-Nazi web forum and complain about a username like that - I'd expect it, and I wouldn't go on that kind of site.

However, this isn't a neo-Nazi site. It's a site which is about discussing pornography, so whilst nobody would take someone seriously for complaining about someone using a sexual or vulgar username on a porn discussion site, it seems fair to take issue with using a username which is abusive to people with a certain sexuality.

Would we allow a username like "PornIsEvil" or "PornLoversAreSinners"? No, because it's against the whole ethos of the site. People who want to campaign again porn, as is their right, can create their own web-forums to do so and to discuss how wrong porn is.

If I go on a discussion site about kittens, would they let me use the same username I use here? Probably not - and of course I wouldn't use that username there. I don't use this username on any other site - it's only appropriate for this site. I don't see any issue with that.

This cartoon deals with the issue of freedom of speech on the internet well - and bear in mine this user hasn't been banned, nor have I asked for them to be banned - I just don't want them to use a username which is like a slap in face to gay users when they see it.

Edited on Jul 12, 2014, 02:41pm

07-12-14  03:24pm - 3816 days #9
Drooler (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 1,831
Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by Khan:


For the record, we do not have a policy about censoring user names here at PornUsers and at this late state of its evolution, creating a new policy and screening all existing user names for terms that might be potentially offensive to one or more users, would shift focus and resources from building MyPorn.

FWIW, I too think it's a crappy user name and even wrote the user an email suggesting it would be good to change it.

But, because of the issues that gaypornolover made us aware of, when MyPorn launches, it will *not* allow such user names.



UPDATE:

I asked Rick for special permission to change this one user acct and he granted it. So, the offensive user name has now been changed.


Policy is one thing; discretion is another. The former will never, in all cases, be an adequate substitute for the latter. It's what's wrong, for instance, with the zero-tolerance policies at high schools in the US.

But all's well that ends well. The people in charge got it. I hope that gaypornolover will stay with us and that he is not offended in such a manner in the future. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.

07-13-14  12:45am - 3815 days #10
graymane (0)
Suspended



Posts: 1,411
Registered: Feb 20, '10
Location: Virginia
Judge Judy he ain't .....but I've yet to see any tough, sensitive, or fragile issues of this thread's magnitude survive his keen ability to tackle them with professional zeal, grace and dogged endurance.
Through his compelling sense of keeping a clean house, he excels at getting the job done well; the results of which dispenses perpetual credence to the ongoing integrity he's built onto this great site.
Namely ......
His recently concerned involvement into gaypornolover's weighty problems with this offensive user-name thing ....only goes to strengthen this PU'er long-winded assessment he brings to our community.
He is our administer, guide, leader,

To my valued fellow member, gaypornolover: .....I have to say, having buried the problem that started all this, I trust you'll stay around wherein giving us the continued joy of your participation.

07-13-14  08:18am - 3815 days #11
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 2,158
Registered: Jan 01, '08
Location: Wash
Originally Posted by Khan:


For the record, we do not have a policy about censoring user names here at PornUsers and at this late state of its evolution, creating a new policy and screening all existing user names for terms that might be potentially offensive to one or more users, would shift focus and resources from building MyPorn.

FWIW, I too think it's a crappy user name and even wrote the user an email suggesting it would be good to change it.

But, because of the issues that gaypornolover made us aware of, when MyPorn launches, it will *not* allow such user names.



UPDATE:

I asked Rick for special permission to change this one user acct and he granted it. So, the offensive user name has now been changed.




Khan,

I also believe one must stand by their conviction in how they run their websites. I have certain policies on most of my forums that are not always popular either. But sometimes there is a situation where I have no choice but to edit either what was posted, or a users avatar etc. even though I hate to do it because it goes against what we stand for and policy.
I commend you and Rick both, it shows compassion and fortitude to not just look the other way. I would suspect the user wont be around now, he seems to be harboring resentments maybe he will get over it. I came online this morning to remove my account for good and I was not coming back. Even started looking at other places maybe I would join. It just crossed a line I think know one could tolerate, it would have put a dim light of hate in this group as well.

I am still miffed over it, why grateful about PU's move as mentioned above. I won't say what I feel about that user on here.
But being raised where I was I saw hateful,bitter people like this and they laughed off the harm they did, and never understood what they did to a person. I really believe GPU,
was hurt by this, we are all kinda friends here, and I am sure after all these years he felt and outcast, and must have wondered who had his back in any of this.
It shows clear PU did.

Its why we all stick by PU, as we know you are all good people, like most members here are as well.

Ok done babbling. I for one thank you for looking at this from a human point of view. Because you knew it was the right thing to do. Since 2007

07-13-14  08:25am - 3815 days #12
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 2,158
Registered: Jan 01, '08
Location: Wash
Originally Posted by gaypornolover:


Thank you Khan and Rick and to everyone who replied in support.

I'm sorry if anyone was offended by this thread but it's not easy being one of the very few gay users on the site and to see that kind of username every time you log on to the site.

EverNight, I appreciate your point of view, but ultimately this is supposed to be a safe site where everyone who is into porn can feel welcome and discuss something that yes, many in society would object to - but that's entirely my point.

People who don't like porn wouldn't come here - but for people who do, it's a place where like-minded people can come and discuss something that may be taboo in society and isn't easy to discuss in day to day life.

I think everyone should be welcome here to do that. The site allows gay listings, and there's been discussions before on how few women and gay users there are on the site - this kind of thing goes part of the way to answer why.

As for censorship - this site already does that - it doesn't allow links to certain types of site for example - many users who have tried to link to sites which don't meet the sites policy have found their links deleted. So the site already sets its own community standards about what they will and will not allow - I think that's pretty standard on most web forums.

On a site which is concerned with sexuality, I do think it's sensible to have a policy which doesn't allow users to pick usernames which criticize a sexual orientation which is well-represented on this site.

I'm not gong to go on some neo-Nazi web forum and complain about a username like that - I'd expect it, and I wouldn't go on that kind of site.

However, this isn't a neo-Nazi site. It's a site which is about discussing pornography, so whilst nobody would take someone seriously for complaining about someone using a sexual or vulgar username on a porn discussion site, it seems fair to take issue with using a username which is abusive to people with a certain sexuality.

Would we allow a username like "PornIsEvil" or "PornLoversAreSinners"? No, because it's against the whole ethos of the site. People who want to campaign again porn, as is their right, can create their own web-forums to do so and to discuss how wrong porn is.

If I go on a discussion site about kittens, would they let me use the same username I use here? Probably not - and of course I wouldn't use that username there. I don't use this username on any other site - it's only appropriate for this site. I don't see any issue with that.

This cartoon deals with the issue of freedom of speech on the internet well - and bear in mine this user hasn't been banned, nor have I asked for them to be banned - I just don't want them to use a username which is like a slap in face to gay users when they see it.




Picture worth a thousand words and runs true. I have banned 12 people this year in my forums not allot compared to the thousands of members. But a few just go where they shouldn't and yes like this picture, they cry 1st amendment,
I have a similar saying. God might forgive you, does not mean I will. Since 2007

07-13-14  09:36am - 3815 days #13
jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 1,000
Registered: Nov 27, '10
Location: neverland
Not much one can add to this thread. Certainly we tend to be a collegial group of people no matter what our sexual preference are - and we have policed our forum for trolls and hate mongers. I'd rather lose people who are polarizing individuals even if it is just their handle doing it rather than a person a number of us have gone out of our way to make feel comfortable & welcome and who contributes to the community in a positive way. So if the offending party wants to play, tolerance of the people residing here is a must. Gawd I really like the people in this forum. If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee.

If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat!

07-13-14  02:31pm - 3815 days #14
Ed2009 (0)
Suspended Webmaster




Posts: 509
Registered: Sep 12, '09
Location: Wales, UK
I thought it was an anti-smoking reference.

I'm guessing "fags" means something different in the US? Webmaster of StripGameCentral and A Measure of Curiosity.

07-14-14  12:25am - 3814 days #15
exotics4me (0)
Active User



Posts: 664
Registered: Jan 12, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by Ed2009:


I thought it was an anti-smoking reference.

I'm guessing "fags" means something different in the US?


Grew up with a guy from the UK. He called meatballs "faggots" and cigarettes "fags". To add a little humor, he moved to an area filled with gangs in Los Angeles and would say, "I'm going to go smoke a fag". In Los Angeles "smoking" someone meant you were going to shoot them. So those who didn't know his slang thought he was he was some kind of homophobic maniac.

And gaypornolover, I too thought the name was bad, but like Jberry said, the vast majority of us are very tolerant. The members also are known for coming to the defense of each other. Most of us would have been on your team even if we're not on your "team". You're still someone we've got to know and respect. My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich. - Chuck Palahniuk

07-14-14  06:46am - 3814 days #16
PinkPanther (0)
Active User



Posts: 1,136
Registered: Jan 08, '07
Location: Oakland, CA
Personally, I rarely get offended by something as short as a Username because, unless I have a conversation with the person , I have no idea what their intentions are/were - Is it a Gay guy that has run into that kind of sentiment so often that they want to wear it as a badge of honor? Is it someone being ironic somehow? I dunno. But - as usually happens in these cases, Khan and Rick heard the distress and carried out a reasonable action in response. Good for them.

07-14-14  08:38am - 3814 days #17
AWpress (0)
Active Webmaster




Posts: 118
Registered: Nov 20, '12
Location: The Netherlands
It's been pretty well covered, 'free speech' means you don't get fined or go to jail for a shitty opinion, not that it is protected everywhere. Even then, it's an American law that doesn't have equivalents in every country. The internet=! America. For instance, Most common law countries (e.g. UK, Australia, NZ, Canada) have 'fuzzy' rights that operate off precedent, not statute. Some countries have outright outlawed hatespeech (e.g. Germany).

Indeed, American-style free speech is a peculiarity; though not a bad one. It's just far from the standard in what we would refer to as 'the free world'. On the positive side, whilst statute protection of free speech really protects and empowers extreme groups to be shitheads in the US, it has also really protected controversial cultural expression at times - like porn, and risque music.

Anyway, I would encourage any person feeling frustrated with the sensitivity of offended minorities to try imagine how if feels to be constantly looked down upon, denied access, mocked, and discriminated; how thankful you'd be for etiquette, policy, and rules that mitigate or forbid such behaviour; and how noisy you might get when aforementioned boundaries are crossed.

07-14-14  10:58am - 3814 days #18
graymane (0)
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Posts: 1,411
Registered: Feb 20, '10
Location: Virginia
JBERRY SAID ........
Gawd I really like the people in this forum.
[/QUOTE]
________________

Can't'cha tell? And dont'cha ya' know?? .... we'ens reeeallly likes our jberry too.

One of Our Pornuser's big guy on campus, you'da'man!

When it comes to making an impact, jb rules. Edited on Jul 14, 2014, 11:01am

07-14-14  04:08pm - 3814 days #19
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 2,158
Registered: Jan 01, '08
Location: Wash
Originally Posted by graymane:


JBERRY SAID ........
Gawd I really like the people in this forum.

________________

Can't'cha tell? And dont'cha ya' know?? .... we'ens reeeallly likes our jberry too.

One of Our Pornuser's big guy on campus, you'da'man!

When it comes to making an impact, jb rules.
[/QUOTE]

Since 2007

07-14-14  04:17pm - 3814 days #20
rearadmiral (0)
Active User

Posts: 1,453
Registered: Jul 16, '07
Location: NB/Canada
Gaypornlover:

Sorry I haven't weighed in on this earlier (and I hope I'm not too late) but I've been away. You have my support on this. I can understand that since there were no rules on usernames that it created a bit of a grey area fro Rick and Khan, but I think that they made a reasonable compromise. Whether our new friend sees it that way is yet to be seen. Maybe this isn't the American way, but I see limits on free speech when it hurts the whole community, and I think being inclusive and welcoming everyone is a more pressing value than allowing someone to have a username that undermines the community - whether or not it was chosen in good faith, as a joke or ironically.

But, as PinkPanther, said, we'd be better off judging the person by his actions and comments here than just the username, but he is making it hard since as soon as Cybertoad called him out on the name, our new friend called Cybertoad a "fucktard."

All that to say that you have my full support. While I wish this hadn't happened, I think you can agree that it showed how supportive this group can be. This is definitely the best porn forum on the 'net.

07-15-14  12:54pm - 3813 days #21
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 2,158
Registered: Jan 01, '08
Location: Wash
I apologies if my disruption helped feed that fire, guess
it got the better of me.

I felt like the user was not being humorous or edgy.
But offensive. Some of you perverts piss me off sometimes.
But I usually I have a big part in why I fee as I do.

I do apologies for calling him out on it, should have let staff take care of it. I felt staff allowed it due to policy
and that chaffed me, so I stepped over and poked the guy in the nose..

Its all good I do hope GPL comes back though.
If I ever offended him, or others its not me intent,
I tend to speak my mind at times, but never want a person to feel bad cause of what I said to them in cases like this. Since 2007

07-15-14  01:49pm - 3813 days #22
biker (0)
Active User



Posts: 632
Registered: May 03, '08
Location: milwaukee, wi
That is why I stayed clear of it. I would have only added more fuel to the fire. I have a temper that has got me in trouble. No; not with the law, but with friends. Warning Will Robinson

07-15-14  05:55pm - 3813 days #23
pat362 (0)
Active User



Posts: 3,575
Registered: Jan 23, '07
Location: canada
^^I don't see any reason why you should feel bad about what you did. I might have done the same if I had actually looked his user name but I honestly didn't see it until you guys said something about it.

I'm all for welcoming new members but it's hard to be objective when someone uses those words in his user name. If the guy was from the UK and was using it as saying no cigarettes than that is one thing but it's clear by his reply to the change in his user name that he was looking for trouble. Long live the Brown Coats.

07-15-14  06:05pm - 3813 days #24
rearadmiral (0)
Active User

Posts: 1,453
Registered: Jul 16, '07
Location: NB/Canada
Originally Posted by Cybertoad:


I apologies if my disruption helped feed that fire, guess
it got the better of me.

I felt like the user was not being humorous or edgy.
But offensive. Some of you perverts piss me off sometimes.
But I usually I have a big part in why I fee as I do.

I do apologies for calling him out on it, should have let staff take care of it. I felt staff allowed it due to policy
and that chaffed me, so I stepped over and poked the guy in the nose..

Its all good I do hope GPL comes back though.
If I ever offended him, or others its not me intent,
I tend to speak my mind at times, but never want a person to feel bad cause of what I said to them in cases like this.


I disagree with you for thinking that you have anything to apologize for. I don't think you stepped over the line at all when you called him out on the name. What was over the line was his response to you. His response to you was uncalled for. I'd like to hope that I would have done the same thing if I had noticed the name earlier.

07-16-14  08:18am - 3812 days #25
Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 2,158
Registered: Jan 01, '08
Location: Wash
Originally Posted by rearadmiral:


I disagree with you for thinking that you have anything to apologize for. I don't think you stepped over the line at all when you called him out on the name. What was over the line was his response to you. His response to you was uncalled for. I'd like to hope that I would have done the same thing if I had noticed the name earlier.


Thanks guys, not that GPL needed defending. But I have always been that way, if I see and injustice and at times to my own peril I step up, its resulted on a few altercations in my past. I guess when I say I apologies, I meant I like the site to be calm and fun, and this kinda took it out of that. Not apologizing for saying something, just sorry that it ended up being more negative then we all like here. Hope that makes sense. Don't want to over think it too much. Since 2007

07-16-14  05:17pm - 3812 days #26
rearadmiral (0)
Active User

Posts: 1,453
Registered: Jul 16, '07
Location: NB/Canada
Originally Posted by Cybertoad:


Not apologizing for saying something, just sorry that it ended up being more negative then we all like here.


You just said what needed to be said...

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