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| Porn Users Forum » Your Tax Dollars at Work, or rather, at Wank. |
| 1-9 of 9 Posts | Page 1 |
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| 07-27-10 04:50am - 5262 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Sevrin (0)
Active User  Posts: 80 Registered: May 30, '10 |
Your Tax Dollars at Work, or rather, at Wank. Happy days are here again. It turns out that the recent extension of unemployment benefits in the U.S. may turn out to be a boon to the porn industry! "With Unemployment Benefits Extended, Rates of Domestic Masturbation And Sodomy Are Poised to Skyrocket" That's domestic masturbation, mind you. Rates for foreign masturbation require further study. I'll get right on that. Read all about it, here. While you're there, don't miss the fascinating article on How to Spot a Masturbator. You never know where they may lurk. Forewarned is forearmed.
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| 07-27-10 08:31am - 5262 days | #2 | |
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rearadmiral (0)
Active User Posts: 1,453 Registered: Jul 16, '07 Location: NB/Canada |
Christwire isn't a bad site as Christian fundamentalist parody sites go, but for a lot of laughs my recommendation is Landover Baptist http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ That's a fairly direct satire of the Westboro Baptist site (which I won't link to those assholes...) run by Fred Phelps. God Hates Shrimp http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/ is also pretty good. Now if these religious parody sites would start to cause the real fundamentalists to rethink a few things that'd be great. | |
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| 07-27-10 10:32am - 5262 days | #3 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
 Hilarious and uplifting at the same time! Oh, not that kind of uplifting--damn it, get your mind out of the gutter! The "Sodomy Is Never the Answer" article is pretty funny too, and not that far off from how the Jesus freaks attack sex. In fact that's what makes these sites a little disturbing; they are so accurate in their parody as to make the differences between them and a genuine super-Christy site almost nonexistent. (And reading some of the comments apparently a few didn't get that it was joke.) "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 07-27-10 12:56pm - 5262 days | #4 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 02:09pm | |
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| 07-27-10 10:28pm - 5262 days | #5 | ||
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
We're not too lazy, we have wanker's cramps! I'd expect a little more understanding...
This is why stretching is so important across all levels of porn; from actresses to the cameramen, fans, and even the prudes who are hurting from wagging their fingers too much. Remember: a short warm up, followed by good thorough stretching is the key to preventing physical injury.  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | ||
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| 07-27-10 11:16pm - 5262 days | #6 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
My first inclination was that this article was a spoof on religious fanaticism, and a well written one at that. But it quickly became clear the author was dead serious about the destructive pitfalls of "self-abuse," and how it decimates spiritual growth and wrecks a man's health. He goes on ad nauseam, painting a picture of an evil practice so vile and vulgar that one could say even our earthly spiritual guides recoil in disgust whenever man succumbs to this wasteful spilling of semen. My rebuttal: If the above proclamations were true, then why is this biological urge so powerfully instilled and embedded in males? And why do we find so damned much pleasure in doing what is obviously a natural function? And mainly, why is guilt completely absent in those who engage in penile stimulation who were never indoctrinated in the tenets of religiosity? And why should they be doomed to hell having never known it was a sin?  | |
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| 07-28-10 03:53am - 5261 days | #7 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
Funny how the hand wears out, but the Johnson doesn't! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 07-28-10 07:42am - 5261 days | #8 | |
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lk2fireone (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
Unfortunately, the older you get, I think you will find the Johnson does wear out. Or only works intermittently.  Edited on Jul 28, 2010, 07:45am | |
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| 07-28-10 12:33pm - 5261 days | #9 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 02:09pm | |
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