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| Porn Users Forum » Stranger In A Strange Land! |
| 1-34 of 34 Posts | Page 1 |
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| 12-07-12 01:19pm - 4398 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Stranger In A Strange Land! With apologies to Robert A. Heinlein for stealing his book's title: This is how I feel when moving in the wonderful world of Porno. I love porn, I buy porn, I collect porn ... yet the only place in this raw and uncensored world where I don't feel unclean is right here. I have never met a more civilized, courteous bunch of people than in Porn Users .. and it's not the first time I say this .. I love your company, consider many of you to be "friends" in the detached, on-line sense, yet the moment I go to a site (other than softcore) I find myself in the company of foul-mouthed snooks that make me cringe, especially when in reference to the "actresses." VideoBox (as one) in their description of videos, consistently refers to them as sluts, whores, bitches. Users in their comments are not one bit shy about using similar expressions and I feel, not for the first time, that I am slumming and moving in circles I don't belong to. Are we an elite here? Am I a snob for saying this? I guess what it boils down to is that I love women, even the ones in the sex trade, too much to belittle and degrade them by calling them names and am looking forward to the day when I can return to softcore sites that feature mature women in enticing lingerie ... you knew that would come, didn't you? Edited on Dec 07, 2012, 01:46pm | |
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| 12-07-12 01:34pm - 4398 days | #2 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Yes, I am sure we did!  One of the main reasons I dislike harder sites, is their propensity to go down the route of degrading the women. There is no need for it, & I certainly do not find it in the least appealing. Like you, I love looking the ladies, but only in an appreciative manner. I would never wish to degrade, abuse or belittle them.  Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 12-07-12 03:55pm - 4397 days | #3 | |
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Claypaws (0)
Suspended Webmaster Posts: 144 Registered: May 16, '12 Location: UK |
I heartily agree with the two of you. The other place I do not feel unclean is when I am shooting the girls  And when you meet other photographers and studio owners, you can have a civilised and open conversation too.I have told the girls I have shot that I will not shoot for any site that calls them sluts, bitches or whores and they will be respected anywhere that I sell my shoots, as I myself respect them. I love them all too. As I have said before, the shoots would be mighty boring without them | |
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| 12-07-12 06:44pm - 4397 days | #4 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
My taste in porn tends to be toward the hardcore stuff but the excessive name calling is not something that I like to read or hear when describing anyone in porn. I also think that it's a fairly new thing. I'd say the name calling really started less than a decade ago but sadly it is now rampant in porn. I'm a member on another forum and the deregatory terms are often used and I'm often left feeling dirty to be hanging in that forum simply because I think that it is rude to describe anyone with those words and pretty hypocritical when you consider that we are the perv's who jerk off to them in the first place. The perv part in in refeence to me and should not be something that you want to apply to everyone else. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 12-07-12 09:14pm - 4397 days | #5 | |
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biker (0)
Active User  Posts: 632 Registered: May 03, '08 Location: milwaukee, wi |
"foul-mouthed snooks" says it all. People who want attention. With the internet they can remain anonymous and spew their filth. Messmer, you are not out of place, these snooks are trolls and they will always exist, but they don't represent this community that appreciates the women who give us so much pleasure. You know how you feel about these women and that is what counts. Ignor the trolls. Warning Will Robinson | |
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| 12-07-12 09:29pm - 4397 days | #6 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
I gotta tell'ya, messmer..... this is the most moving message I've ever had the privilege of reading in an on line forum. The truth and power of your thoughts bought tears to these aged eyes .... and I suspect to a respectable number of others, too. It is responsibly outspoken, sincere and morally presented arguments like yours, and the too few like minded others who collectively give what little semblance of a struggling dignity the porn industry needs to keep it from sliding into their own ultimate demise.  If my history is right.... the great Rome empire fell partly from too much complacency. I salute those few and all they stand for in our efforts to continue the fight for a survivable level of values in an industry muddled in aimless tunnel vision. | |
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| 12-08-12 03:40am - 4397 days | #7 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
I agree that we shouldn't be sexist, 'cause bitches hate that. But seriously, I don't like the degradation of women in porn, either. To me, women are a gift to man. They should be honored, respected, and treasured. And that includes the ones who suck dicks and take it up the ass in front of a camera for our prurient pleasure. And as a parting comment, I might add that the males who treat these women with demeaning terms and rough sexual positions are the ones who deserve the reddening ass slaps and choke holds. But who knows? They might actually like it. PS: Messmer, you come up with some good thread titles that generate interest in clicking in and reading on. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Dec 08, 2012, 03:43am | |
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| 12-08-12 10:31am - 4397 days | #8 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Thanks to all of you for your positive comments and moral support! It's good to know that so many in here feel the same way I do. Of course, I always knew that. Thanks, Cap'n and Claypaws, my first responders! And Claypaws you are fortunate to have ended up with a company I hold in high regard. I have never seen a demeaning word come from ATK and consider them to be one of the good guys. To Pat I would say this: I do want to correct one possible misconception because I don't want to appear to be a hypocrite. I have subscribed to quite a few hardcore sites myself, have enjoyed quite a few scenes that could be considered abusive, but have never taken offense because I realized that the performers were playing into our fantasies and did it willingly. I have been a member of Kink.com, of 21Sextreme etc., so "hardcore" material itself is not a problem to me, except on some sites like Facial Abuse where the verbal degradation seems too real for comfort. My beef is with the vultures who produce the DVDs and put that kind of garbage on their covers, as well as those who distribute them, like VB. Yesterday triggered me because VideoBox's HD update was referring to the "whores" in the DVD and I found it disgusting that those who make a profit off those performers would use such demeaning terms for them. And many Porn Users see this and imitate the sites' degrading terms when commenting on various scenes. Thanks, biker. I certainly agree with you. The anonymity of the Internet brings out the worst in people who would normally keep their nastier side hidden because of peer pressure. Graymane, what can I say except that I am always touched by your responses to my posts and am grateful for your friendship. Last, but not least, thanks to my friend Drooler, who always manages to lighten my mood with a couple of lines that make me laugh, even in my outrage. As you may have noticed earlier on in my reply I wasn't actually thinking of scenes in a DVD, because even in real life it is quite possible to get carried away in the heat of passion and use a bit of roughness or dirty language. If that's acceptable and even desirable to both partners I have no problem with it.As I wrote above my problem is mainly with the producers or distributors of hardcore DVDs speaking so contemptuously of the ones who make the money for them. And with the Yahoos who imitate their degrading language in their comments. In any case, thanks to all, and I enjoyed getting things off my chest. I am still waiting for that one softcore site that would cater to my niche because I find more eroticism and excitement in one well-done strip scene (not as in strippers), than I do in the worst (or best according to your taste) VB could offer. m. off the pulpit for another day! | |
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| 12-08-12 10:44am - 4397 days | #9 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
^I have also been a member of these sites but maybe I'm way off but I don't think the people producing their porn actually use most of the offensive words when describing the performers. They may sometime use it in the scene and even that in my memory is on the rare side but they don't refer to girls in those words. The only exception would be FA but then again. I think the guys responsible for that site are major scumbags. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 12-08-12 10:51am - 4397 days | #10 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
I was thinking of the covers where they quite frequently use derogatory terms, Pat. Often it even starts with the title of a DVD. I could name dozens of instances but will give you that point because most likely the performers knew in advance what the DVD would be named. And I am glad you agree when it comes to FA. I kept telling myself it was all an act but the cringe factor was such that I deleted all the scenes the moment I had watched for a couple of minutes. | |
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| 12-08-12 03:59pm - 4396 days | #11 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
Yeah me too ! I had decided long ago that a prerequisite for posting to porn sites is that the poster be an asshole/dirtbag who shouldn't move to my neighborhood. Many have prison in their futures. Then I stumbled upon PU and was gleefully surprised. You are an incredible bunch of people, who know a lot of words and think long and hard before you string them together, usually in an artful and pleasing manner. You are all my heroes, and as long as I can read and write, I will do a lot of it here. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 12-08-12 04:08pm - 4396 days | #12 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
For myself, although I may have a disposition for using long & perhaps unusual words at times; that is engendered by a love of the rich English language, rather than the desire to show off.  If it ever comes over as me being pretentious, I apologise!  Cap'n. Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 12-08-12 06:41pm - 4396 days | #13 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Thanks, Micha, for the kind words. This is a good forum with a lot of good-natured and tolerant people participating. At first it was a surprise to me as well because out there in Porn land (as well as in various forums and newsgroups) things are not always kind and gentle. Glad we had the pleasure of adding you. To the Cap'n. I love using English as my second language yet, at the same time, I am insecure enough to constantly wonder (or should that be "to wonder constantly?" ) how many grammatical mistakes I make in my average post. I can't let that stop me though because you (the group) are the only company I have except for my immediate family. Truly! | |
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| 12-09-12 01:39am - 4396 days | #14 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
When I hear or read a grammatical error, I notice. I also listen to what is being said, and often the content is worth ignoring the error. If English is a second language ... well never mind then. I shudder to imagine my relatives' reaction to my German. hint: a preposition is something it is OK to end a sentence with. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 12-09-12 03:50am - 4396 days | #15 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Sometimes I have difficulty undertanding the allegedly English speakers who converse, if that is the right word for it, in what appears to be a derivative of 'text speak.' Non-native English speakers on this board are generally hard to even pick up on these days; that is assuming you didn't already know who they were beforehand. Often they are better than those who supposedly have it as a first language. Cap'n. Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 12-09-12 05:48am - 4396 days | #16 | |
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elephant (0)
Active User  Posts: 585 Registered: Jan 11, '07 |
Yeah I do think its great that this site promotes porn in a good light, it does get some bad press and some people believe it to be truly the worse thing ever, it clearly is not and can be highly entertaining. To have a place discussing it and talking about models in a respectful manner too and keeping conversations in general to a high level of respect for each other makes this a place to come back too. So many places online turn into these places where you think, some of these people really are nasty and spiteful and people having arguments and stuff and slagging everything and everyone off. No need for it, here is a friendly place and because there is so many friendly folk I think it keeps out the bad. Long may it last, also great moderators keeping it all running smoothly. Me neither, I do like all kind of niches in porn and do love hardcore but don't like it when the woman looks uncomfortable and is being badly treated like she is nothing but a hole. Much prefer movies when the woman clearly looks to be having a good time. "Women are like tricks by sleight of hand, Which, to admire, we should not understand." WILLIAM CONGREVE | |
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| 12-09-12 07:48am - 4396 days | #17 | |
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Denner (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,217 Registered: Mar 03, '07 Location: Denmark |
Just fell in here somewhat late.....but, messmer: so fine an input about this "Strange Land". I agree totally: love porn - but love porn in the nice, civilized and exotic way.......I worship women/girls - and hate the thought of naming any girl/woman: bitch, slut or whore. And BTW, yes: probably, no definitely this PU is the most civilized and friendly forum, I ever been in.  "I don't drink anymore - I freeze it, and eat it like a popcicle" | |
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| 12-09-12 10:15am - 4396 days | #18 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
You should imagine my relatives' reaction to my German, Micha. After 56 years in Canada I am neither fish nor fowl. I meet a Canadian for the first time and he'll ask, where were you born (even though my wife swears I have no accent ) and every time I go to Germany for a visit I am being asked if I am an American!  | |
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| 12-09-12 10:17am - 4396 days | #19 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Thanks, Denner, you summed it up nicely! | |
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| 12-09-12 10:24am - 4396 days | #20 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
I agree with you, elephant! You know, I have been with this forum since 2007 (I think) and have often wondered why there has never been a flame war? That usually happens sooner or later in other places where even "friend" turns against friend. And I am positive that management does not censor or moderate except to remove obvious phoneys who try to promote their site, so this consistent harmony is even more miraculous. We've had the odd disagreement at times but never any personal attacks. Long may this spirit live. | |
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| 12-09-12 01:23pm - 4396 days | #21 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
Sometimes it's all we're left to. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 12-11-12 06:49pm - 4393 days | #22 | |
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exotics4me (0)
Active User  Posts: 664 Registered: Jan 12, '07 Location: USA |
Messmer, this one is always hard to believe for some. A lot of woman like for their man or lover to refer to them as a slut. It's most likely from a past of repression. Being seen as "dirty" in a good way, probably comforts them, turns on those dormant hormones. I still remember reading a story in Hustler years ago about a woman who couldn't get wet with her husband. She had been raised in a Catholic home and school. A psychologist suggested her husband to scold her and spank her, problem fixed. As for the general use of whore, slut, bitch, it just seems to be a product of our current subtle speaker society. It's way too easy these days to call someone a once disrespectful name and say, "But that's not how I meant it". What it amounts to most though is our society's indifference towards life. Many women are fine with their husband referring to them as "bitch" as long as they put "my" in front of it. I sometimes wonder if woman's liberation was derailed by women. My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich. - Chuck Palahniuk | |
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| 12-11-12 07:03pm - 4393 days | #23 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
I completely agree with you, exotics. This is exactly why I wrote to Pat in my lengthy, general response to all: " ... in real life it is quite possible to get carried away in the heat of passion and use a bit of roughness, or dirty language. If that is acceptable, even desirable to both partners I have no problem with it." This would not be demeaning to anyone. Nothing like bringing a bit of spice to the bedroom. I am all for it and wouldn't draw any lines as to what is acceptable or not if BOTH partners enjoy their fantasies. Three cheers for variety! | |
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| 12-11-12 10:25pm - 4393 days | #24 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
This is exactly the way it should be Since 2007 | |
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| 12-11-12 10:34pm - 4393 days | #25 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
This is about one of the best posts I have read in along time. If you look at society today the world is not as friendly as this group of people. In fact the tolerance alone we all share is amazing. Everyone is polite and respectful and just happen to enjoy porn. the world could learn allot from a site many do not understand. This same respect and admiration we have for each other rolls over to the the stars we all love as well, the point is clear we can not lose respect for these people as I am sure it would reflect on us all. This world may never be the same and Messmer said it best: I have never met a more civilized, courteous bunch of people than in Porn Users .. and it's not the first time I say this .. I love your company, consider many of you to be "friends" in the detached, on-line sense.  Since 2007 | |
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| 12-11-12 11:18pm - 4393 days | #26 | ||
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
Elite? Hardly! (After all, I'm here...  )But seriously, PU is a rare exception to the fuck-these-sluts attitude of so much of the Internet, whether it's genuine porn like on VideoBox, the professional douchebaggery of Joe Francis, or basically anything having to do with women. Personally I blame it on a number of things. First, the influence of too many sexist, superstitious, Abrahamic religions shaming women over the very nature of their bodies and thoughts, lest they risk enjoying sex and life for themselves instead of for whatever man happens to be in shooting or shouting range. Second, a fiercely patriarchal world (particularly the U.S., where so much of the porn is created, though it's still a problem in much of the modern world) where, frankly, women are in many ways second-class citizens. Or they are at least second in line to what society offers them in the way of opportunity and outcomes (though they usually live longer on average, so maybe they have the last laugh after all?). This can range from a lot of sexist humor in the media, which is relatively harmless if still a negative, to the truly horrifying, like the percentage of rapes believed to be unreported (at least to authorities). I may have elaborated a little more than I needed to there, but it's what I think after having grown up and still living in a country where women get the short end of an already short stick (occasionally in the shape of a transvaginal ultrasound  ).I'm not one to tell people what they can and can't say, but if you feel you need to charm a girl by staring with "Hey bitch..." you might be doing it wrong. Just a thought.
Yeah, we did. "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | ||
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| 12-12-12 12:01am - 4393 days | #27 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Ummmm, lemme think how I can put this? Gimme just a moment! .... OK... I've met a respectable number of women, from a lotta different places, even some Aussie beauties who globally dwell literally on the very bottom of where I'm now standing; heard a lotta talk, and I, likewise, done a lotta talking ...and, from my own experiences, using every ploy at my disposal in an effort to succeed at seduction .... and, I might add, the few who did acquiesce, I can say without equivocation, not one....nay not one, who wouldn't go up side my head if I called them a whore, slut, pig, or any other names synonymous with the ones mentioned in this thread .... whether before, during, or after engaging in a sexual activity.  Nor would I expect otherwise.  | |
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| 12-12-12 10:04am - 4393 days | #28 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
I would judge by your reply, graymane, that you had quite a few casual dalliances .. see "respectable number of women!" In their case I too would be very careful about sounding derogatory or demeaning. Not knowing them thoroughly might lead to a slap in the bedroom if you overstep the line, and rightly so. I am talking about long established LOVING relationships where the partners like to play bedroom games. Some of those games may seem bizarre to others but are highly stimulating and satisfactory to the partners. I mean on the surface a man crawling around on his hands and knees while his wife smacks his rear with a whip could be considered abusive (no I'm not into that ) but is a source of pleasure to both, if they swing that way. Same with name calling. I, too, am horrified when a woman is casually called a whore or slut or bitch. This is exactly what motivated me to make this post. There is a certain dignity to every human life and that dignity should not be casually violated. However in the bedroom everything goes if "playing mutually satisfactory games" enhances a couples sex life. At least that has always been my view. | |
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| 12-12-12 03:57pm - 4392 days | #29 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Somehow, (before my once nimble fingers, which now have given way to crippling arthritis) was approaching the keys to form the (ill-choosin) adjective "respectable" I knew the selection would come back to haunt me -- as indeed it did. I used the definition associated closer to "an appreciative number" rather than one's demeanor (or)behavior in the foregoing context -- a decision which seemingly invited feeding time for our worthy, sharp, keen-eyed grammerical observers. Unsurprisingly, messmer's welcomed and perceptive reply has certainly gave me much to think about.  | |
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| 12-12-12 04:10pm - 4392 days | #30 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Excellently put, my friend. Cap'n. Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 12-13-12 06:59am - 4392 days | #31 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Ditto, Ditto  Since 2007 | |
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| 12-20-12 07:11pm - 4384 days | #32 | |
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Reveen (0)
Active User Posts: 96 Registered: Apr 06, '09 |
"You should imagine my relatives' reaction to my German, Micha. After 56 years in Canada I am neither fish nor fowl. I meet a Canadian for the first time and he'll ask, where were you born (even though my wife swears I have no accent [Smile] ) and every time I go to Germany for a visit I am being asked if I am an American! [LOL]" I've met a few people from Canada who think I talk like a Newfie. I've never even visited Canada  | |
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| 12-20-12 07:22pm - 4384 days | #33 | |
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Reveen (0)
Active User Posts: 96 Registered: Apr 06, '09 |
Aye pretty much my view too. In a healthy relationship this type of thing is talked about and boundaries set and whatever happens inside those boundaries is fair game. The problem with typical porn is that there isn't a context to place the what is said in, so we don't know if the girl is actually turned on by the guy shouting "Take it bitch" or "get on your knees whore" or if its borderline abusive. Added to that is the often unnatural setting and the sometimes ludicrous positions that the girls are being made to adopt can take away from the girls dignity. | |
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| 12-21-12 11:10am - 4384 days | #34 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Good point, Reveen. To tell the truth with most porn I had always assumed that the "borderline abuse" was by mutual consent, in other words something talked about before the scene was filmed, so my objection to the women being called names was never in connection with a "performance." Facial Abuse being an exception .. I was truly disgusted by their demeaning talk with/and treatment of the models. However, your remarks do make me sit up and think. If I thought for one moment that the name-calling in scenes wasn't entirely by consent I would return to softcore only immediately. I simply hated the fact that various porn video sites and some users called the models names as they described a scene or DVD, because in this case the performers had no control over how they were described. | |
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