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| Porn Users Forum » Italian Friends on the Bus |
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| 09-25-16 06:26pm - 3009 days | #206 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
These aren't actually jokes but I hope you nevertheless enjoy them. I know I really did. https://www.youtube.com/embed/0zJoYNS6XHU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qehqv13PJwI Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 10-04-16 10:37pm - 3000 days | #207 | |
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lk2fireone (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock-market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen. “Pretty much the way you do,” responds the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick. I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen. “Why?” he asks, “What’s the matter?” “Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!” “No problem,” he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long. “Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow…” “No problem,” he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman. “Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks “Well, was it any good?” “I hate to say it,” says Maureen, “but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?” “It was horrible,” he replies. “All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.” | |
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| 10-04-16 10:41pm - 3000 days | #208 | |
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lk2fireone (0)
Active User Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating straight away. “Johnny, wait until we’ve said our prayer,” his mother reminded him. “I don’t have to.” – the little boy replied. “Of course you do.” – his mother insisted. “We say a prayer before eating at our house.” “That’s at our house,” Johnny explained, “but this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.” | |
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| 10-05-16 10:10am - 3000 days | #209 | |
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merc77 (0)
Disabled User Posts: 291 Registered: Apr 17, '16 |
Three teen boys were walking through the woods when a masked bandit approached them with a gun in his hand. He robbed the three and then was going to kill them. The three boys pleaded and the bandit decided to change his mind on one condition. "If your penises measure in total 12 inches, then I will let you live." The first boy dropped his pants and the bandit measured it at six inches. "Impressive." The second boy dropped his pants and the bandit measured it at five inches. "Nice." The third boy dropped his pants and the bandit measured it at barely one inch. "Ouch. Well, the three of you get to live." The bandit fled into the woods as the third boy wiped his brow. "Am I glad I had a boner!"  "Dogs think people are Gods. Cats don't as they know better." - Kedi (2016)Dogs have masters; Cats have staff. | |
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| 12-08-16 12:17am - 2936 days | #210 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
What do you get when you cross genius with menstruation? Cerebral Kotex I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 12-15-16 04:04am - 2929 days | #211 | |
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Drooler (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,831 Registered: Mar 11, '07 Location: USA |
What do you get when you cross document editing with exotic dancing? Copy and Pasties I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. | |
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| 12-15-16 09:57am - 2929 days | #212 | |
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skippy (0)
Active User  Posts: 78 Registered: May 19, '07 Location: out there |
My favorite so far is the gas station sex contest. Skippy | |
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| 12-15-16 10:05am - 2929 days | #213 | |
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skippy (0)
Active User Posts: 78 Registered: May 19, '07 Location: out there |
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half." The guy left. The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back." A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?" Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!" Skippy | |
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| 12-15-16 05:30pm - 2928 days | #214 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
^Thank You Skippy. That made my day. Now hopefully I can remember the joke tomorrow so that I can tell it to some co-workers. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 01-11-17 10:44pm - 2901 days | #215 | |
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lk2fireone (0)
Active User Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
Q: What do you call an Afghan who owns a camel and a goat? A: Bisexual. | |
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| 01-12-17 09:56am - 2901 days | #216 | |
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merc77 (0)
Disabled User Posts: 291 Registered: Apr 17, '16 |
Some humorous quotes from the late great Winston Churchill: Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee." Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it." "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." –Winston Churchill "A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly." –Winston Churchill "Dogs think people are Gods. Cats don't as they know better." - Kedi (2016) Dogs have masters; Cats have staff. | |
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| 09-05-17 08:15am - 2665 days | #217 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
IF WOMEN ONLY TRUSTED THEIR HUSBANDS!!! There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband... For example... -A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. -She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. -Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there reading a magazine. -"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say "hello Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 09-05-17 08:23am - 2665 days | #218 | |
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luthien (0)
Active User  Posts: 101 Registered: Jan 07, '16 |
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.” | |
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