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12-13-08  06:49am - 5853 days Original Post - #1
Tree Rodent (0)
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Perversion Anyone?

Okay, I know 95 per cent of you wont be interested in this thread, but I sort of said I'd do this. So to the two I promised, who will actually be interested here it is. A very small guide to spanking on the internet. It was going to be about perversion in general. Or we could call them niche sites....no, lets stick with perversion, it's more honest. But this would be too long, and since only about two of you are interested anyway...

Some of the sites aren't listed here so it's clear PU just finds them too offensive. I have to admit a lot of the stuff is not my bag at all. But a favourite of mine has always been spanking. If you're new to this I would thoroughly recommend the site devoted to spanking on the internet run by John O'Connell and David Pierson. It's truly excellent. It's called "The Consumer's Spanking Video News And Reviews." It's totally free and I think offers some of the best objective opinions on spanking. The address is www.spreview.net - hope I'm allowed to print that.

A mention should go to the Realspankings people too, as they run their own forum. It is run by people who are clearly into spanking. I got into an argument on that forum. There was someone who called the people at Mood Productions "sadistic scum" and all sort of things, because of the strength of the punishments handed out. I argued that the rest of the world considered us all sadistic scum for enjoying spanking. Along with someone else who supported my view, we said that if you like spanking, and label someone "sadistic scum" just for the strength of the spanking handed out, you are on very thin ice indeed.

For the record Mood Productions are indeed the strongest spankings available on the internet. Realspankings deliver light to reasonably strong spankings. Most of it is around the medium strength. The site is the Video Box of spanking. There's tons of stuff, but is arranged in such a haphazard way that you really have to search it out. The best spanker IMO, Lady D, has left. Mr M is still there. They have moved location to a bigger studio and are shooting for the first time in nearly two years. The thing that really bugs me about Realspankings is there are too many spankings over clothes. Some spankers love this. I hate it. But a good point is you can download two angles of the same spanking. You can see the rear end, or the face of the girls reacting to that spanking. There are also many Realspankings sites. Very confusing. if you go with one I would suggets Realspankings.com which is I think the first one.

Around the same strength of spanking is Girls Boarding School. I was a member of this one too, but I did not like it. The strength is a little lighter than Realspankings IMO. They have possibly the most beautiful girls but...the doms there are so annoying, I would never join again. There's one who continually says "you stupid girl" in the most ridiculous accent and talks in the most annoying way. I just want to take out a baseball bat and hit him again and again and again, until he shuts the f**k up. The other dom is just as bad. This one talks in a really stupid West Country English accent. Nooo.... oh the shame. Baseball bat time.

The Nettles/Russian slaves videos can also be downloaded at Her First Punishment. There are other sites where they are available too. There is a dom here who is also extremely irritating. He prances around like the bastard son of Mike Tyson and a ballet dancer, with a lobster in his underwear. Talks a lot, screams a lot, prances around a lot, probably auditioning for a minor role as a baddie in a James Bond movie. No baseball bat here. Shotgun.

One of the biggest drawbacks to a Russian Slaves clip is that it looks like the producers hand them over to be edited by a blind chimpanzee and his guide dog. The chimpanzee decides where to cut, and the guide dog sticks them together with his paws, using sellotape and scissors. It's that bad. You see action clearly duplicated. You hear "stop" followed by exctly the same action from a different angle, followed by the word "stop" again. The action is good but is spoilt by awful editing and all round lousy acting and production. Incidentally, this is the same blind chimpanzee and guide dog who officiated in the MLB World Series, and can currently be seen every week in the NFL. The action from Russian Slaves is not as hard as Mood and generally a bit harder than Realspankings. But some are surprisingly light, including the more recent ones.

Spanking Server is the Pain4Fem download site. The action is medium to quite severe, but the drawback is you cannot download all the videos available. Your memebership only gives you the right to download all the recent updates. So you cannot get access to their considerable catalogue without paying extra. I have never joined this site although I do have some of their clips.

Punished Brats, Firmhand Spanking and Dallas Spanks Hard all run medium strength sites that the aficionados seem to love. In fact Dallas seems to have a great reputation for customer service, quite often dealing with any problems himself and sorting them out very quickly.

Just behind Mood in harshness is Hard Caning, which is the download site of Caned4cash. Caned4cash is sadly gone and Hard Caning has had only one update in a year.

I hate Lupus because I sent them cash for some DVD's which they said was short. I counted out the money carefully about ten times before sending it, so I know it was all there. I don't particularly like their product that much nowadays, anyway. Their earlier stuff was much better. I have no moral problems about downloading any of their stuff from free download sites.

One thing of note is the implements used. Americans primarily use paddle and strap, whereas Europeans use the cane.

Better end it here. There are tons more sites out there, but I have picked my own personal favourites. I like Mood Castings, Realspankings, and the sadly defunct Hard Caning the best. Edited on Dec 13, 2008, 08:42am

12-13-08  09:05am - 5853 days #2
messmer (0)
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Hi Squirrel, love of spanking and enemas appear to be two typically British "niches" as I've noticed over a long period of time as a Porn User. I would not call them perversions, they are fetishes and we all have at least one. I never take offense because I assume, with good reason, that both parties to a spanking agree to it wholeheartedly, but it's not my thing.

12-13-08  09:20am - 5853 days #3
Tree Rodent (0)
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Well, messmer I don't expect much of a response to the thread, but thanks for your reply. Strangely enough, out of all the sites I mentioned, not one is genuinely British. Oh god, we lost the British car industry, now we don't even have a decent spanking site we can call our own.

There was other stuff I could have mentioned but the post was becoming far too long. One irritation I found with Girls Boarding School was that because a lot of the clips are cut up into two minute segments, you find a lot of the clips being tailored around this. There is quite often two strokes, then lots of talking, lots of walking around. There is a LOT of talking and walking around on GBS and not a lot of action. The videos do look good quality, whereas on Realspankings the earlier clips were better, but with poorer production values. The later clips, IMO had better production values but weren't as good.

12-13-08  01:57pm - 5853 days #4
messmer (0)
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Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


Well, messmer I don't expect much of a response to the thread, but thanks for your reply. Strangely enough, out of all the sites I mentioned, not one is genuinely British. Oh god, we lost the British car industry, now we don't even have a decent spanking site we can call our own.

There was other stuff I could have mentioned but the post was becoming far too long. One irritation I found with Girls Boarding School was that because a lot of the clips are cut up into two minute segments, you find a lot of the clips being tailored around this. There is quite often two strokes, then lots of talking, lots of walking around. There is a LOT of talking and walking around on GBS and not a lot of action. The videos do look good quality, whereas on Realspankings the earlier clips were better, but with poorer production values. The later clips, IMO had better production values but weren't as good.


I can't make a meaningful comment, squirrel, because I know nothing about the sites or subject except to commiserate because I've been disappointed so many times during the year+ I've been subscribing to various sites. I yet have to find one that doesn't have an irritant in it .. my biggest is the accursed SAMENESS when it comes to picture and video. They're stuck in a groove. Same postures, same actions, same irritating talk, same lack of context.

Aw, maybe it's me. Maybe, as Glover keeps saying in the "Lethal Weapon" movies: "I am getting too old for this sh*t!" :-)

12-13-08  01:59pm - 5853 days #5
Wittyguy (0)
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Yeah, TBP and PU try and play it somewhat safe when it comes to anything beyond mild discipline and bondage. When you want to keep the feds off your back, don't go sticking your nose too far out there. I don't blame them for doing so, especially since the vast majority of users aren't really looking for that stuff.

Admittedly, spanking isn't my thing either. However, I think you are making excellent use of the forum by letting others know what is out there.

12-13-08  02:26pm - 5853 days #6
Tree Rodent (0)
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Thank you for your comments you two. I guess I am sticking my nose out a bit on this one. Maybe messmer has got it right though. He alludes to something that seems to be happening across the board. All that technology, and relatively cheap too, compared to years ago. A massive chance for some sensational stuff to be produced and what happens? Yes, a thousand companies all making clips that look like they came from the same three companies, and all seemingly produced either by 15 year old kids who are so amazed by what they are doing, they forget about the people who are actually going to view the things, or get rich quick, get it in the cans as quickly and cheaply as possible producers, who don't give a shit because quantity is better than quality. An opportunity missed by everyone.

I am talking here about run of the mill porn, rather than fetish. Maybe that's the only way this thread can apply here and make any sense anyway. All the opportunities to make great stuff relatively cheaply and break the decades long tradition of highly expensive porn, that is difficult to get hold of, seem to have gone to the wall. So yes, I do know what messmer means. This site may partly help, but where are all the people who want to produce quality porn, professionally, and with some affection and love for the subject?

As I have said before, but it does no harm to state it again for all you youngsters, 30 years ago it would have cost about £60+ just to buy one video with less action than one on any of those DVD download sites. We realise this, but we're not being jaded when we just want to see something that really is a little different. Not upside down sex in a water tank. I just mean something with quality and originality, produced by people who care about the subject, the content, and the paying customers.

12-13-08  03:18pm - 5853 days #7
messmer (0)
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Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


Thank you for your comments you two. I guess I am sticking my nose out a bit on this one. Maybe messmer has got it right though. He alludes to something that seems to be happening across the board. All that technology, and relatively cheap too, compared to years ago. A massive chance for some sensational stuff to be produced and what happens? Yes, a thousand companies all making clips that look like they came from the same three companies, and all seemingly produced either by 15 year old kids who are so amazed by what they are doing, they forget about the people who are actually going to view the things, or get rich quick, get it in the cans as quickly and cheaply as possible producers, who don't give a shit because quantity is better than quality. An opportunity missed by everyone.

I am talking here about run of the mill porn, rather than fetish. Maybe that's the only way this thread can apply here and make any sense anyway. All the opportunities to make great stuff relatively cheaply and break the decades long tradition of highly expensive porn, that is difficult to get hold of, seem to have gone to the wall. So yes, I do know what messmer means. This site may partly help, but where are all the people who want to produce quality porn, professionally, and with some affection and love for the subject?

As I have said before, but it does no harm to state it again for all you youngsters, 30 years ago it would have cost about �60+ just to buy one video with less action than one on any of those DVD download sites. We realise this, but we're not being jaded when we just want to see something that really is a little different. Not upside down sex in a water tank. I just mean something with quality and originality, produced by people who care about the subject, the content, and the paying customers.


What you said!!! Talking about quality, and that comes close to your subject, come to think of it I think Kink.com has some truly original and quality material. I'm not sure if spanking is among their offerings but I saw some of their trailers and wished at the time that I had the money to subscribe to one of their expensive sites.

12-13-08  07:28pm - 5852 days #8
WeeWillyWinky (0)
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I've considered joining a spanking site or two because, to put it simply, I have a major bare-butt kink and spanking sites cater to that kink in spades, obviously. BUT (pun intended), all those pictures of scarlet-red cheeks, bruised cheeks, streaked cheeks, it turns me sour right away. I suppose I would enjoy a mild spanking site which was more playful than anything else, but that would be about it. I never saw a spanking video I could watch all the way through, though I have kept many a spanking-oriented picture, as they tend to be quite erotic: at least before the inevitable reddening.

I just wanted to add: some of the best spanking pics I've seen are vintage ones. Is it just me, or does it seem that the female booty reached its peak of attractiveness between 1900 and 1960? Some of those tushes are just unbelievable. You know what I hate the most about selfish people? It's that they don't think enough about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Edited on Dec 13, 2008, 07:32pm

12-13-08  07:45pm - 5852 days #9
messmer (0)
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Originally Posted by WeeWillyWinky:


I just wanted to add: some of the best spanking pics I've seen are vintage ones. Is it just me, or does it seem that the female booty reached its peak of attractiveness between 1900 and 1960? Some of those tushes are just unbelievable.



The tushes are still great, WWW, it's just that they were better wrapped before 1980! :-) Man, I hate thongs!

12-13-08  09:49pm - 5852 days #10
lk2fireone (0)
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Jay G seems to be the PU expert on spanking sites, which you already noted.

I don't know why it seems to be so difficult to make a good video, whether it's subject is spanking or anything else.

But it just seems so much easier to make an attractive photoset. Because there are so many more good photosets of just about everything available. While the videos available have different qualities that can irritate each of us, whether it's jerky picture quality, poor music track, bad coloring, and lots of other qualities that detract from the video.

That's why I mainly stick to photos instead of videos, as well as smaller storage requirements, etc.

What about The Story of 0? A bondage film put out in the 1970s. Does that do it for you? I thought that was a classic film. Great-looking girls, interesting story, not super-hardcore, but intense enough for me.

12-14-08  04:21am - 5852 days #11
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


I don't know why it seems to be so difficult to make a good video, whether it's subject is spanking or anything else.

But it just seems so much easier to make an attractive photoset. Because there are so many more good photosets of just about everything available. While the videos available have different qualities that can irritate each of us, whether it's jerky picture quality, poor music track, bad coloring, and lots of other qualities that detract from the video.

That's why I mainly stick to photos instead of videos, as well as smaller storage requirements, etc.


Ditto on what you've said in comparing photosets to videos. I just don't feel like waiting longer, for a video, just to go through it in a matter of a few minutes, just to say, "Great. Another piece of crap for the bin."

With photosets, you can preview them pretty quickly and know whether they're worth it.

At least with PU I can get a good idea of video quality at certain sites from certain fellow users. They've saved me time, money, and frustration. Hats off! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.

12-14-08  07:33am - 5852 days #12
messmer (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


What about The Story of 0? A bondage film put out in the 1970s. Does that do it for you? I thought that was a classic film. Great-looking girls, interesting story, not super-hardcore, but intense enough for me.


Hey, I had forgotten about that one. Poor camera work, blurry and washed out picture, very little actual sex, yet it was more erotic and intense, as you put it, than any of the clips found on VideoBox. A point I was trying to make in another thread.

12-14-08  11:58am - 5852 days #13
lk2fireone (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


Poor camera work, blurry and washed out picture, very little actual sex, yet it was more erotic and intense, as you put it, than any of the clips found on VideoBox.


Did you see The Story of O in the movies?

There is a huge difference in quality between the theatrical release I saw and the two DVD versions I bought.

The DVDs of the movie are blurry and washed out. Actually, I have not found a decent DVD copy of that movie, which was a waste of money for me, because if you don't have quality, the value of the movie goes way down.

But in the 1970s, when I saw it in a movie theatre, I did not find the colors washed out or blurry. The style was sort of Penthouse versus Playboy in focus, but the colors were great and the girls were really attractive.

Emanuelle I and II were sharply focused movies (very clear picture). Have not seen any DVDs of them, so don't know how they translated to DVD.

12-14-08  02:29pm - 5852 days #14
messmer (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


Did you see The Story of O in the movies?

There is a huge difference in quality between the theatrical release I saw and the two DVD versions I bought.

The DVDs of the movie are blurry and washed out. Actually, I have not found a decent DVD copy of that movie, which was a waste of money for me, because if you don't have quality, the value of the movie goes way down.

But in the 1970s, when I saw it in a movie theatre, I did not find the colors washed out or blurry. The style was sort of Penthouse versus Playboy in focus, but the colors were great and the girls were really attractive.

Emanuelle I and II were sharply focused movies (very clear picture). Have not seen any DVDs of them, so don't know how they translated to DVD.


I watched "The Story Of O" on one of our late night digital channels. Their picture is usually very good so they must have broadcast a copy of your DVD! :-) I liked the first Emanuelle pictures too but in the meantime, years later, they have become something barely watchable.

They, too, are found on late night TV and I've learned to skip watching them, along with all those Vivid Productions (I might have the Production Company wrong) featuring the ubiquitous Randy Spears. Terribly boring, the whole bunch of them. Nothing but uninterrupted sex after the first five minutes, if it takes them that long.

What always makes me laugh is the fact that they give you a story line in the TV menu like "frustrated author is trying to cope with writer's block" .. then zoom in on Randy rubbing his head in frustration, then ... seconds later this fake busted blonde babe shows up and takes care of his other frustrations for the rest of the movie! :-)

My mouth waters at the thought of a pristine, digitally remastered, widescreen version of "The Story Of O." Kink.com are making videos based on this story but even though (or is it because) they are more graphic they could never approach the erotic tension of the original.

12-14-08  02:55pm - 5852 days #15
lk2fireone (0)
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Emanuelle I and II (along with The Story of O) were French movies. My memory is not great, so I don't remember if they were dubbed into English or had English subtitles, when I first saw them. I was not talking about the many versions of Emanuelle made after that, where the story and acting did not have the higher standards of the first 2 Emanuelle movies. There were also TV series (more than one) for Emanuelle that did not compare to the original movies.

Partly the value of Emanuelle and The Story of O was the shock value of having high-quality standards for porn back in the 1970s, when it was still new to have attractive actresses in porn, and a real storyline, and good production values. You could argue that back in the 1960s was when they started having those values in some of the porn/erotic movies that were released, but The Story of O and the first two Emanuelle movies (the ones with Sylvia Kristel) were classics: good story, great looking girls, softcore-type sex. The hardcore-type sex movies of those days were real junk. You might watch one of the hardcore movies at a fraternity house or at a bachelor party (No DVDs back then).

12-14-08  03:18pm - 5852 days #16
messmer (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


Emanuelle I and II (along with The Story of O) were French movies. My memory is not great, so I don't remember if they were dubbed into English or had English subtitles, when I first saw them. I was not talking about the many versions of Emanuelle made after that, where the story and acting did not have the higher standards of the first 2 Emanuelle movies. There were also TV series (more than one) for Emanuelle that did not compare to the original movies.


I could have sworn there were more than two Emanuelle movies made with Sylvia Kristel. I remember watching them every Saturday Night for an extended period on one of our French (Quebec) channels who were quite liberal for their times. I had a bit of a problem with the language but understood enough to make the movies enjoyable.

12-15-08  12:05pm - 5851 days #17
lk2fireone (0)
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Emmanuelle movies with Sylvia Kristel:

Emmanuelle (1974) .... Emmanuelle
Emmanuelle 2 (1975) .... Emmanuelle
Goodbye Emmanuelle (1977) .... Emmanuelle
Emmanuelle IV (1984) .... Sylvia / Emmanuelle
Emmanuelle au 7�me ciel (1993) .

You're right, there were at least 5 different Emmanuelle movies with Sylvia Kristel, as well as a bunch of other Emmanuelle movies with other actresses playing Emmanuelle, as well as different TV series about the Emmanuelle character with other actresses (there was even one series with Emmanuelle in outer space).

But the only two I saw in the movie theater were Emmanuelle I and Emmanuelle II. I've seen some of the other Emmanuelle movies on cable TV, and some episodes of a few of the different Emmanuelle TV series.

But there is a definite difference in the experience when you see a movie in a nice theater, versus watching it on TV. Watching in a theater is more expensive, less convenient, but you appreciate the movie more in spite of that - unless the movie is a clunker, when you think, "What a waste of money."

Emmanuelle I and Emmanuelle II were classics for me. Any other versions I saw were poor to good, but not near the quality of the first two movie versions.

12-15-08  06:34pm - 5850 days #18
messmer (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


Emmanuelle movies with Sylvia Kristel:

Emmanuelle (1974) .... Emmanuelle
Emmanuelle 2 (1975) .... Emmanuelle
Goodbye Emmanuelle (1977) .... Emmanuelle
Emmanuelle IV (1984) .... Sylvia / Emmanuelle
Emmanuelle au 7�me ciel (1993) .

You're right, there were at least 5 different Emmanuelle movies with Sylvia Kristel, as well as a bunch of other Emmanuelle movies with other actresses playing Emmanuelle, as well as different TV series about the Emmanuelle character with other actresses (there was even one series with Emmanuelle in outer space).

But the only two I saw in the movie theater were Emmanuelle I and Emmanuelle II. I've seen some of the other Emmanuelle movies on cable TV, and some episodes of a few of the different Emmanuelle TV series.

But there is a definite difference in the experience when you see a movie in a nice theater, versus watching it on TV. Watching in a theater is more expensive, less convenient, but you appreciate the movie more in spite of that - unless the movie is a clunker, when you think, "What a waste of money."

Emmanuelle I and Emmanuelle II were classics for me. Any other versions I saw were poor to good, but not near the quality of the first two movie versions.



I completely agree with you when it comes to the quality of the post Sylvia Kristel movies. Those outer space efforts especially were pathetic. I never watched one longer than ten minutes without changing channels.

12-17-08  04:32am - 5849 days #19
Jay G (0)
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Great overview, squirrel. Sorry it took so long to read your thread, but I've been too busy surfing for porn sites, I guess.

Anyone calling anyone scum for their sexual desires had best be careful. Remember all the religious fanatics in the world think ALL PORN USERS are scumbags.

Consent is the most important element in all spanking situations, and if anyone is interested Mood Castings is a site that shows how the girls apply to be spankees in Mood videos. The dominatrix is very tough and some of the girls call it quits after only one or two cane swats. The girls who can take it are often offered parts in those "extreme" Mood videos.

I don't find the site very good as a spanking site because it has all the creativity of a boring job interview with pain involved, but it does give a great background in the way these CONSENTUAL spanking videos are produced. Jay G

12-17-08  10:24am - 5849 days #20
messmer (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


Hi Squirrel, love of spanking and enemas appear to be two typically British "niches" as I've noticed over a long period of time as a Porn User. I would not call them perversions, they are fetishes and we all have at least one. I never take offense because I assume, with good reason, that both parties to a spanking agree to it wholeheartedly, but it's not my thing.


First time I respond to one of my own posts but looking back over the way this thread mutated into a discussion of domination/submission and my preferences I think rephrasing of the original reply would be better: I like BDSM scenes and videos, assuming they are consensual, but spanking is not a category that would turn me on.

12-17-08  10:57am - 5849 days #21
messmer (0)
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One more thing: I don't like the word "pervert" when it comes to human sexuality. We are just now starting to see, because we've become more open about it, how infinitely diverse people's sexual tastes are and as long as they don't stray into illegal (non-consensual) areas then they are not perverts. That's my opinion.

If the majority of males were dead set against porn then yes, they would be perverts by definition (pervert - a person whose behavior deviates from what is acceptable especially in sexual behavior) but I have yet to meet one who doesn't find Porn acceptable, so rejoice, you're normal.

Messmer (realizing that "pervert" is being used tongue-in-cheek in this forum quite frequently)

12-17-08  03:45pm - 5849 days #22
Toadsith (0)
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Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


Well, messmer I don't expect much of a response to the thread, but thanks for your reply. Strangely enough, out of all the sites I mentioned, not one is genuinely British. Oh god, we lost the British car industry, now we don't even have a decent spanking site we can call our own.


Aw, don't go giving up on the British car industry just yet! The Caterham Superlight R500 is proof there is still life in the little British car companies yet. Not to mention Lotus, who seems to be the secret adviser to every car company as to how to properly build car suspension. "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

12-18-08  05:50pm - 5847 days #23
Tree Rodent (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:



so rejoice, you're normal.


This of course, amounts to defamation of character. I therefore propose to resort to the services of that very well known British law firm, "Messrs Sue, Grabitt, and Runne." The addition to the firm of the Oriental Mr Li (pronounced Lie)has spiced thing up even more for anyone who dares to cross their paths.

12-18-08  05:53pm - 5847 days #24
Toadsith (0)
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Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


This of course, amounts to defamation of character. I therefore propose to resort to the services of that very well known British law firm, "Messrs Sue, Grabitt, and Runne." The addition to the firm of the Oriental Mr Li (pronounced Lie)has spiced thing up even more for anyone who dares to cross their paths.


Oh-ho, be careful! He might hire the esteemed American law firm: "Dewey, Cheatem & Howe" "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

12-18-08  05:55pm - 5847 days #25
Tree Rodent (0)
Active User



Posts: 708
Registered: Oct 29, '08
Location: UK
Originally Posted by Toadsith:


Aw, don't go giving up on the British car industry just yet! The Caterham Superlight R500 is proof there is still life in the little British car companies yet. Not to mention Lotus, who seems to be the secret adviser to every car company as to how to properly build car suspension.


You must have been watching Top Gear. They love The Caterham, even though it looks awful. This is highly unlikely as you are American, but you do turn up with some surprising cross references on occasions. In case anyone has heard of Top Gear, my favourite introduction of The Stig was "...and if HE'D been married to Paul McCartney, he'd know enough to keep his whingeing, whining trap shut!" (Of course no one knows what I am talking about)

12-18-08  06:10pm - 5847 days #26
Toadsith (0)
Active User



Posts: 936
Registered: Dec 07, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


You must have been watching Top Gear. They love The Caterham, even though it looks awful. This is highly unlikely as you are American, but you do turn up with some surprising cross references on occasions. In case anyone has heard of Top Gear, my favourite introduction of The Stig was "...and if HE'D been married to Paul McCartney, he'd know enough to keep his whingeing, whining trap shut!" (Of course no one knows what I am talking about)


Haha, indeed I watched the last episode just a few nights ago and am waiting impatiently for the Vietnam special being released on the 28th! I doubly like the Caterham because it was indeed a Lotus 7 that McGoohan was driving at the beginning of the Prisoner - though I think this new Caterham would leave that car in the dust. Anyway, yes - I'm a HUGE Top Gear fan - I've watched every episode of the 12 seasons of the new Top Gear, never watched 70's to 80's Top Gear. In fact, I've got Season 2 through 12 on my computer and frequently re-watch them. I didn't keep Season 1 because it doesn't feel like Top Gear without James May.

I was actually curious if that new user named "Jezza" was making a reference to Jeremy Clarkson - really need to ask him. Anyway, Season 12 has been pretty good, I've watched the Ford Fiesta test like 10 times now - never gets old. I've actually converted my entire family to Top Gear now - apparently that Fiesta test had my brother's wife laughing so hard he thought she was going to hyperventilate. ("Is it green? Yes. Very.")

The Stig intro are quite awesome, some say his right nipple is shaped like the nuremberg ring, lol I love that fact that it was the Stig that turned on those lights :-P Though, about that race, I know Jeremy hates hybrids and such, but a Prius driven by a proper Hypermiler can trounce those figures by double - there is this dude in Texas that can pull 125+ Miles Per Gallon out of a Prius. Even a diesel has trouble touching that. Still, that new hydrogen car looks pretty good - now if they can just get that range up to 300 miles and make it do 0-60 in 4 seconds... "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

12-18-08  07:08pm - 5847 days #27
Tree Rodent (0)
Active User



Posts: 708
Registered: Oct 29, '08
Location: UK
Wow you really are into Top Gear. Can't believe anyone from the US has even seen it. (I loved the special race to the North Pole and the trek across the US in cars only bought for $1000). You can even take the British humour it seems. Classic Clarkson line to pretty American girl "you can't be American, you're not nearly fat enough."

They constantly get into trouble over here. The lorry driver comments caused a big hoo haa. A Labour MP wanted him sacked. Clarkson : "This is a hard job and I'm not saying that to win favour with lorry drivers - it's a hard job: Change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That's a lot of effort in a day."

12-18-08  07:24pm - 5847 days #28
messmer (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 2,582
Registered: Sep 12, '07
Location: Canada
Since my soothing remark: "So rejoice, you're normal"(#21 above) was met with the threat of a law suit (below) and since I am not willing to waste years of my life on counter-suits and appeals I hereby retract what I wrote with my sincerest apologies and humbly pronounce you and everyone in this forum perverts par excellence!

Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


This of course, amounts to defamation of character. I therefore propose to resort to the services of that very well known British law firm, "Messrs Sue, Grabitt, and Runne." The addition to the firm of the Oriental Mr Li (pronounced Lie)has spiced thing up even more for anyone who dares to cross their paths.

12-18-08  07:30pm - 5847 days #29
Toadsith (0)
Active User



Posts: 936
Registered: Dec 07, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


Wow you really are into Top Gear. Can't believe anyone from the US has even seen it. (I loved the special race to the North Pole and the trek across the US in cars only bought for $1000). You can even take the British humour it seems. Classic Clarkson line to pretty American girl "you can't be American, you're not nearly fat enough."

They constantly get into trouble over here. The lorry driver comments caused a big hoo haa. A Labour MP wanted him sacked. Clarkson : "This is a hard job and I'm not saying that to win favour with lorry drivers - it's a hard job: Change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That's a lot of effort in a day."


lol - Clarkson is always a big ass towards Americans but I love it. One one of his DVDs he is talking about Pick-up trucks and says something like: "It can carries a Barbecue, a Washing Machine, and a lawn mower - then, you can tie ribbons to the door handles for when you marry your sister [now in hick voice] I know she comes from good stock. Sure she's short and skinny, but she's strooong!!"

My brother is always referencing Clarkon's comment about the two outboard motors he put on the Toyboata - "...the two motors weigh a total of 800 lbs, or one American."

Though I gotta say the first American episode episode is quite embarrassing - both the fact that I live in a country that has folk that will throw rocks at people for writing goofy shit on the side of the cars and secondly that we consider ourselves a powerful nation and yet still haven't finished rebuilding New Orleans.


I dunno, I listened to the interviews with both May and Clarkson on Simon Mayo on BBC 5 and they both talked about the silly murder a prostitute comment. Clarkson simply likes to be ridiculous. Why do people care when he says things like that? He also calls every other car astonishing and the best car [insert 4 hour pause] in the world. If I want a real car opinion, I'd go ask May. Clarkson will definitely point you in the direction of some fun cars though, there is no doubt about that.

I know the show toes the line as for what is considered acceptable, especially considering they are on the BBC, but still - they are the most popular car show in the history of television - that has got to give them some leeway. And anyway, how else would we know if a Fiesta can take part in a beach assault? "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

12-18-08  09:09pm - 5847 days #30
Wittyguy (0)
Active User



Posts: 1,138
Registered: Feb 04, '08
Location: Left Coast, USA
Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


Wow you really are into Top Gear. Can't believe anyone from the US has even seen it.


Yes, thank God for cable and BBC America. We get a fair number of British shows on that ... but being as we are America we banish them to obscure cable chanels and never let them reach a large prime time audience. That was part of Tony Blair's agreement with Bush ... we go into Iraq with you and America gets to put it's crap all over the BBC while you guys can put our stuff in the cornor. Can't say I'm into Top Gear that much but I think Graham Norton is the total bomb.

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