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| Porn Users Forum » An Erotic Story |
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| 04-25-12 10:37pm - 4623 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
An Erotic Story Erotic Story X Erotic Story X It was Wednesday. Hump day. Everything that could have gone wrong in her day had. She was looking forward to going home, eating yesterday’s leftover Chinese food for dinner and sinking into a hot bath. Upon getting into her car Brooke managed to get a ragged fingernail caught on the thigh of her stockings. She watched as the tear of the material continued upwards and stopped only because its path was blocked by black lace and elastic. ‘Goddamnit!’ she cursed. That reminded her. She thought of her sock drawer and tried to recall if she had any packages of stockings left. Nope. She’d opened the last package this morning. An eight-dollar pair of stockings had at least managed to survive the day. What a fuckin’ waste. On the bright side – at least the other leg was salvageable. She considered wearing a pantsuit to her early morning meeting with the higher-ups of the company she worked for, but thought better of it. In a skirt Brooke would look her smartest – meaning she needed to pick up more stockings. There was a Macy’s on the way home. That would do. She could be in and out in five minutes. Walking through the store, she was a woman on a mission. Her high heels clicked noisily against the floor. The store was all but empty with a few customers and seemingly even fewer employees around. With her purchase tucked away in her purse, she walked past the men’s department and noticed a deliciously suited man milling through the clothes racks. She slowed her pace and cut into an aisle. She took a better look at him as she slowly moved closer. He was wearing a dark suit with a blue shirt on underneath, although it wasn’t tucked it. His tie had been loosened. Fuck. Brooke loved that casual look. He couldn’t have been much older than her, late thirties maybe. He was very well groomed with a closely cropped haircut and tightly groomed goatee. She’d wager he had softer hands than most men and wore expensive cologne. She had to have him. As if sensing he was being watched he looked up and his eyes connected with hers. Very nice. She didn’t look away. She held his gaze as she walked towards him. ‘Are you lost?’ he asked, his voice deep and baritone. ‘Lost?’ ‘I assume you aren’t shopping for yourself,’ he joked as she propped her arm up against a clothes rack. She quickly glanced down at his left hand. No ring. Good. ‘Maybe I’m shopping for a boyfriend…my father or brother,’ she rebutted. ‘I don’t think so,’ he replied, and stared at her knowingly. ‘I was on my way home. Tore my stockings.’ She pulled up her skirt showing him the torn stocking. ‘Oh dear. What a shame,’ he said, not taking his eyes off her exposed thigh. ‘That suit is really hot. Or…I should say – you are hot in that suit,’ she said, her eyes fixed on his. How ridiculous. She couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth. That was one hell of a pick-up line. She considered that if a man said those same words to a woman he was liable to be punched. How wonderful the things women could get away with. She reached for a shirt hanging from a nearby rack. ‘I think you’d look really good in this. Why don’t you try it on for me?’ He didn’t even blink. Did this type of thing happen to him often? She didn’t care. She spun on her heel and walked towards the changing rooms. ‘You’re coming, I hope,’ she said, not bothering to turn around. Her eyes scanned the area. There wasn’t a soul around. She walked to an empty changing room in the farthest corner. She turned and grabbed hold of his tie and pulled him in after her. She dropped her purse, pulled off her coat and leaned against the wall. ‘What’s your name?’ he asked. ‘Kate,’ she lied, thinking how much her friend would appreciate being directly involved in her latest sexual escapade. ‘Richard.’ ‘Well Richard. I sure would like to see you minus that suit.’ She made no offer to help him undress. She had no intention of it. She watched intently as he slowly pulled off his tie and slid out of his shirt. His confidence was unfettered. Heat radiated from her pussy upwards. The room suddenly felt like it was a thousand degrees. He was in good shape. With his shirt off his skin was darker than it should be considering the season. He probably paid for an artificial suntan. His chest was wide and his arms strong. Brooke undid the buttons of her blouse and let her suit jacket fall to the floor. They had yet to break eye contact as if they were in some sort of stare-off. Let him win. She averted her eyes to his crotch as he unbuttoned his pants. His hard-on was obvious. Looked like he had a good-sized cock. She guessed she wasn’t going to be disappointed. She reached down for her purse, found the inner pocket and the condom inside. She pulled it out and tossed it at him. She tugged at the bottom of her skirt and pulled it up her thighs until it was tight around her hips. Looking him in the eye again she reached down and stroked herself through her panties, feeling the dampness of the material against her fingers. ‘Very nice,’ she purred at him. She watched as he pulled his underwear and pants down and let them collect in a heap around his ankles. His cock jutted out in front of him as he fumbled with the condom wrapper. She hooked her fingers through her panties, slid them down her thighs and kicked them off to rest at his feet. She rotated her hips seductively as her fingers slipped between her moist folds and traced over her clit. ‘You going to fuck me, Richard?’ she purred. ‘Fuckin’ right,’ he growled, the former professional businessman persona having now disappeared. She turned away from him and leaned against the wall, moving her right foot up to rest on a small bench. She then felt his hot hands come to rest on her hips. His fingers roughly kneaded the skin of her ass before moving down to her pussy. She felt his fingertips trace over her clit before opening her up for his cock to follow. Brooke moaned out an ‘ugggghhh’ as he forced himself into her. She winced in pleasure as his girth spread her open. She braced her hand against the wall as her free hand slithered down her belly to play with her clit. He grunted behind her as he roughly pounded into her. His hand reached around to her breasts which he grabbed at, pushing her bra up and leaving the under wire to pinch pleasantly into the skin above her breasts. He tweaked and squeezed her nipples. ‘Fuck. That’s nice,’ she coaxed him on, lost in the feelings that were erupting in her cunt. She didn’t know how long he banged her for – it could have been five minutes, it could have been three. It didn’t matter. It was quick and that’s all she wanted. He fucked her relentlessly, hard and in a consistent rhythm. Now this was a man who knew how to fuck. ‘Oh my…FUCK…’ she squeaked out as she came, her legs shaking violently beneath her. His orgasm was quick to follow hers. His fingers roughly squeezed at her hips and breasts. She would no doubt have some form of blood bruises tomorrow. Brooke turned around to face him once he’d pulled away from her. She reached down for her panties and quickly stuffed them in her purse, at the same time fumbling with her buttons. She had her skirt pulled down and her jacket back on before he had pulled the condom off. ‘Thanks. That was really…crazy,’ she said, searching for an appropriate word and coming up empty. She looked at herself in the mirror as she smoothed out her clothes and hair. Then, she moved towards him and kissed him hard and quick on the lips. ‘I suppose asking for your number would be a waste of time,’ he asked, clearly already knowing the answer but trying anyway. ‘Yeah. Probably,’ she replied, feeling very much like a slut. She reached for the door handle. ‘Take it easy,’ she said, walked out, through the men’s department and out the door. Thanks Kahn for the ok of the story. I won't ask for anything further on this, but appreciate yet again the opportunity . Was a story from awhile ago posted on my site and long taken off so even a search would not brink up anything. And about as short as I had. No names given or links etc as promised.  CT Since 2007 Edited on Apr 25, 2012, 10:41pm | |
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| 04-26-12 01:22pm - 4623 days | #2 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
well, it gave me a woodie ! unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 04-27-12 04:07pm - 4622 days | #3 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Thanks Micha LOL But seems there is no interest at least with these members, only one comment is not a good thing. Since 2007 | |
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| 04-28-12 01:02am - 4621 days | #4 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
CT, As the White man said to the Indian ( not the Kama Sutric sub-continental Indians, but rather the “come to our casinos” Indians) “Endeavor to persevere” As fans of erotica go, this is a very special group. They easily have 30 to 50 more IQ points than any other similar group I’ve encountered, and are not averse to exercising that intellect. Their postings have demonstrated clear, concise and logical progressions of thought, extrapolation and correlation. I have been surprised though, at times, what they as a whole, do not pounce upon quickly and en-masse. Could it be that they have lives and other interests, and do not lurk here waiting to pounce. My advice, give it another day or two. With the advent of digital imagery and videography, the written word has suffered. It is far easier to assault one’s senses with color, action and imagery than to rely on the written word to paint a mental image. This is unfortunate, as the written word has always been for me, a major art form. I grew up in the bay area of California where main-stream erotica seems to have originated, and the written word ran rampant in those early days along with film and images. San Francisco didn’t invent porn, but it was instrumental in moving it from back rooms into store fronts, movie houses and drive-ins I encourage you to ply this craft. As with all things erotic, you will find legions lined up to look at or read what you produce. Will there be a living in it? Anais Ninn did OK at a buck a page. I will close with a question. The noise a woman makes when having an orgasm, is it spelled Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaoooae ? or is it Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooaaaa ? unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 04-28-12 01:10am - 4621 days | #5 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Yes, it is the modern problem of lack of attention span. Instant gratification is where it is at these days. Few have the inclination or suffiicient quality time to get engrossed in reading. As we seem to have raised a generation of illiterates with the text speak, the first place it is going to show up is with the written word & having the inclination to concentrate & use your imagination. I love it. Fantasy for me is good. Cheaper, more accomodating & reliable than real life!  Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 04-28-12 07:59am - 4621 days | #6 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
I think it all depends on whether she is on the bed with legs wide open, or up against a wall being driven. Since 2007 | |
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| 04-28-12 08:01am - 4621 days | #7 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Seems like this is very true, I read tons, and about everything. Sounds like a poll question ringing in my head perhaps I will submit it. Since 2007 | |
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| 04-28-12 06:01pm - 4621 days | #8 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Don't despair, my good man. I think I join many others by saying that your story was indeed just great. Even at my age, I got a "rise" out of it. Funny thing about writin' erotic stories in this kind of forum..... a lotta people will read and love it, but its not something too many respond to. It's a diversion. And that can be a good thing. I've written a few of these myself, and frankly, at first I felt the same way you're taking it -- I mean, about feeling a lack of interest from members. There's a line in a movie somewhere about deceased pro baseball players that incarnates to once again play but have no ballpark; and it fits well in summing this up: "You build it, and they will come." BTW... If you go back and check out some of my past threads, some are stories I authored that I think eventually caught on pretty well. I wouldn't give up on it, if I were you. | |
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| 04-29-12 04:01am - 4620 days | #9 | |
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Thomas20 (0)
Active User Posts: 60 Registered: Dec 27, '09 Location: England |
It's a nice scenario but I think there's maybe not enough detail in it and it gets to the end too quick. I'd like to know what's the shop like, if I was there what would I see if I looked about; what does her outfit actually look like and what's under it; what's on the rails you mention that are near where he's standing; what do they go past on the way to the changing cubicle; could they see anything to distract them on the way there and what might it be etc. ? I obviously know what a dept store looks like lol and maybe I want to do a bit of thinking but only around the scene that you create. At the moment it is necessary to have to fill in too many of the blanks. Even for a short story I would aim to make it x3 the length. If you were prepared to alter slightly the time imperative then there's more scope to do all sorts of things on the way to the changing cubicle  ! Edited on Apr 29, 2012, 04:09am | |
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| 04-29-12 09:21am - 4620 days | #10 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Hi Thomas I appreciate the feedback, the item was edited for content. Out of respect for Khan allowing me to even post it and also due to the limits of the forum I edited to about 1/3 and got to the meat of it. The scenerio, starts off with her waking up an showing then masturbating in her bed at home after taking a bath and rubbing baby oil on herself in the shower. Eventually she arrives at the store, etc, there is content before and after the stories here. But I thought my PU friends would appreciate more pushing for the content  And keep the story line for my book. You read about 1/3 of the story but as I said was edited for content to be polite to the forum. I said this was a one time thing so I wont be posting more details sorry, but eh story is longer then was here. Thanks CT Since 2007 | |
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| 04-29-12 09:23am - 4620 days | #11 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
I will most likely stay on the track just not sure how to offer it to other guess I will be working on this  Since 2007 | |
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| 04-29-12 10:15am - 4620 days | #12 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
For the record, you would have been welcome to post the full story. Obviously, it may take several posts to fit. Former PornUsers Senior AdministratorNow at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 04-29-12 10:40am - 4620 days | #13 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Thanks Khan, Like I had mentioned I appreciate the opportunity and did not want to push it lol. People always come on here trying to peddle their stuff, why i think my request is more artistic, I wanted to be careful. Not sure how to put the whole story now with other posts here too ? CT Since 2007 | |
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| 04-29-12 12:44pm - 4620 days | #14 | |
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Khan (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,737 Registered: Jan 05, '07 Location: USA |
You can add it to this thread or post it in a new thread ... maybe titled Erotic Story Take 2 Whatever works for you is fine. Former PornUsers Senior Administrator Now at: MyPorn.com "To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences."-John Henry Patterson | |
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| 04-30-12 01:32pm - 4619 days | #15 | |
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Toadsith (0)
Active User  Posts: 936 Registered: Dec 07, '07 Location: USA |
Hey Cybertoad - That's a nice short story! Sorry for the late reply, I wanted to take time to read it and frequently I'm only on the board for a few minutes at a time. I was surprised to see that it was written from the woman's point-of-view, but it was a good read and didn't come across as forced or contrived. I'm assuming the formatting errors are simply from copy-pasting the text from a word-processor directly into that forum. I'd love to see the full-length story! I also feel like we should start a mad-libs style, member created story, were people can only add one paragraph at a time - that would be wildly amusing I think! (Though I won't start such a thread until someone else concurs, lol) "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!" Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo | |
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