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| Porn Users Forum » @ PU Members with Johnsons |
| 1-39 of 39 Posts | Page 1 |
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| 07-09-12 07:25pm - 4549 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended  Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
@ PU Members with Johnsons In another thread, Micha asked those of us with vaginas to list those things that make a woman squirm in bed. I invite all of you with penises to suggest how we (i.e., those of us with vaginas) might better tickle your fancy in the bedroom. I'm hoping to gain some valuable tips here.  Any takers? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-09-12 08:06pm - 4549 days | #2 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
Full Circle ! Heather, you are a hoot !  I'll be back to you when my words have wings. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 07-09-12 10:50pm - 4549 days | #3 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended  Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
1) Although many women thinks it "sucks", fellatio still reigns supreme as stimuli of choice to get Johnson's blood'a pumping and standing tall. (Uh-hum! Therein, Heather, abides your pun for today) 2) A back rub may seem out of it's elements to get Johnson's attention, but the fireworks are in the fingers and where they make their last stop. 3) Although the risk of premature ejaculation is at high risk, a good, versatile vibrating apparatus in the soft, trained hand of his lady exploring those nerve-ending surfaces of his genitals is sure to ignite the scrotum after-burners. 4) A woman's mouth is her vagina's greatest competitor for reaching some of Johnson's hot spots. It's simply up to that woman to ferret out those tender terrains. Believe me, Johnson will  you for the efforts.Enough for now, Heather...... we don't want your man collapse from "stroke" ........ couldn't resist! | |
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| 07-09-12 11:38pm - 4549 days | #4 | |
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slutty (0)
Active User Posts: 475 Registered: Mar 02, '09 Location: Pennsylvania |
Don't forget about the sexy undies/lingerie, I don't really mind the boxers and t-shirt to bed look of my lady, but still it is nice to dress up for the occassion from time to time. There is a reason guys buy this stuff for their significant others after all  Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars. Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited. | |
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| 07-10-12 03:41am - 4548 days | #5 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
All good points, graymane (and slutty, too). Glad I could "pump" you for info. The art of erotic massage is, indeed, incomparable when performed by a skillful masseuse. I think all of us -- Johnsons and non-Johnsons alike -- should enjoy the experience and commit ourselves to learning the craft as a way of pleasing our partners in unexpected and wonderfully satisfying ways. You don't have to be an expert, after all: just competent enough (and sensitive enough) to bring your partner (slowly and skillfully) to a knee-slapping conclusion (or some such).  You may live somewhere that has a class you can take (recommended), but there's plenty of info available, and if you combine that with enjoying the experience yourself occasionally with a pro (plop down some cash, claim you're doing research), you'll be miles ahead of most in the bedroom. Think how impressed and surprised your lover will be when you glide your fingers lightly, up and down, over the backs of their legs and along the inner thighs and ... whatever's next.  "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-10-12 09:12am - 4548 days | #6 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Touche!!!  ..... you present a "Hard" act to follow, Ma'am (score me another pun)Meanwhile ...... Gonna have'ta tear myself away from porn long enough to dust off some of those books I previously posted about. Gotta be something news-worthy and compellin' stuffed within all those rows of gilded-binder-multi-page references that'll serve to properly address your (careingly)thoughtful inquiry. I'd guess, Within this unused library of written gems, lay a cornucopia of stuff about just about anything. Even chapter and verse dissecting the likes of best-seller "What you've always wanted to know about sex but was afraid to ask." Yahoo?..Google? Eat your heart out. | |
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| 07-10-12 09:50am - 4548 days | #7 | |
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jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
As I mentioned in another post, mastering Kegel exercises is another way for women to control the johnson. If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee. If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! | |
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| 07-10-12 12:40pm - 4548 days | #8 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
All I needed was to feel love and desire coming from my partner and then hold her, silky to the touch, lingerie clad body for a moment or two. That's all it takes (took) to get me going. Emotions played a huge part in my sex life that's why casual sex was out, not for moral reasons but because I did need to feel that loving bond between my partner and myself. Sorry to be so serious about the subject but I still mourn, age and illness have robbed me of a very important part of my life. Porn is good but it isn't real life. | |
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| 07-10-12 03:23pm - 4548 days | #9 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
My first understanding of the relationship between women and men involved kisses and hugs but it was not until later that I became aware of the urgency that was entailed. Later, it was my impression that men wanted to do this sex thing and women ? Not so much. Then I did it at 18 a late bloomer even then, and soon found that girls wanted to do it too, but they were not allowed to appear to want to. “There is a brief but telling instant, when a boy is taking off a girl’s underpants, during which she must give her assistance; if she doesn’t lift her behind a split second, it is impossible. Ours was a nation of girls who would rather die than openly contribute to their own seduction. It is a tribute to the girls of 1940 that learned how to lift their asses, without seeming to be lifting their asses. Sometimes they did this with a ho-hum and a stretch, pretending to be utterly bored, meanwhile shifting their position just long enough to allow the expert panty snatcher to do his job. I have witnessed it many times, this fantastic arabesque that girls do, and every time I am overwhelmed by the sheer creative artistry of it. It belongs among the great moves of ballet.” ( Allan Sherman’s intro to Rape of the APE ) So, what makes me crazy? I am totally on-board when a woman abandons that need to hide the fact that she is wanton. A woman is way ahead in her game when she realizes and commits to memory some of the simple and basic truisms about people with Johnsons. People with Johnsons : Like to look Like it when people without Johnsons take initiative Like it when people without Johnsons display themselves in a wanton manner Like to look Like it when people without Johnsons offer themselves is a manner that that can be interpreted as sluttish Like it when people without Johnsons offer hints and glimpses of their parts in public and risky locations Like to look Like it when people without Johnsons act brazenly and wantonly in public and private Like it when people without Johnsons like what I like. The erotica industry and the strip-club industry have done a remarkable job of identifying, classifying and categorizing things that are liked by people with Johnsons It is a science that has far too many variables to be called a science. If a person with a vagina avails herself of the information available by barely scratching the surface of those two areas, she can remain consistently at the top of the wish list of all persons with Johnson. Does it look weird, leave a bad taste, exceed your comfort level, disgust you? Here’s an idea…..Don’t do It. There’s probably plenty out there you can both find fun. Maybe you could ask him. Catch him off guard You may find answers that are refreshingly candid. There is something you can expect. If he is not rampantly enthusiastic about efforting to find what rings your chime, he may not be worth the effort More to come as it occurs to me Disclaimer: All traits ascribed to persons with Johnsons would be more accurately ascribed to persons with this Johnson unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 07-10-12 03:43pm - 4548 days | #10 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
Things you could say : (most everything here will evoke a positive response ) Wanna see my tits? Wanna see my pussy ? Wanna see my pussy at the mall ? Wanna see my pussy at Lowes Tool Coral ? Wanna see my pussy at the car wash ? Wanna see my pussy in church ? Would you like to stimulate my clitoris with your tongue ? or Wanna eat my pussy ? Wanna eat my pussy at Starbuck's ? Wanna shave my pussy ? Wanna fuck? Wanna fuck in the kitchen ? Wanna fuck in my mom's kitchen ? Wanna do it in the garage ? Wanna fuck in the driveway ? Wanna do it at the Statue of Liberty Why don't we do it in the road? John Lennon unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. Edited on Jul 10, 2012, 03:57pm | |
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| 07-10-12 06:54pm - 4548 days | #11 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
Wow ... did you just use "cornucopia"? Be still my beating heart. Take me, graymane. I'm an open book for you. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-10-12 06:55pm - 4548 days | #12 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
Hugs, messmer. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-10-12 07:04pm - 4548 days | #13 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
I tried that, but the priest showed no interest. Thanks for the wonderfully entertaining post, Micha. Of course, while I don't doubt the sincerity of anything you've said above, a female who acts sluttish, wanton, etc., tends to have a short shelf life with a male. Approaching a guy and exclaiming "Want to see my pussy?" assures you of a night with said male (or at least a quickie) and probably no more. Am I wrong? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-10-12 07:06pm - 4548 days | #14 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Thank you, Heather, that felt wonderful! | |
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| 07-10-12 08:03pm - 4548 days | #15 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
Sorry, I wasn't clear. None of the foregoing was meant to be of an introduction or first contact scenario, but rather for when the very existence of a shelf life has been determined. m unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 07-11-12 04:56pm - 4547 days | #16 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
EUREKA !!!!! If this explosive revelation doesn't resurrect my sleeping passion for reading..... then nothing reaching (over, under, around, or within) the four spheres of this earth will.  | |
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| 07-11-12 05:59pm - 4547 days | #17 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
Glad we're on the same page, graymane. Just wait for the surprise ending!  "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-11-12 06:58pm - 4547 days | #18 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
The suspense is takin' a heavy toll, Heather ..... it's my waning ticker, don't you know? | |
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| 07-11-12 07:14pm - 4547 days | #19 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Quote: ..... Just wait for the surprise ending! You aren't a wolf hiding under the cloke of sheep-skin, eh... are you? Translation: That's to say, You're not gonna confess you're actually a man, Heaven forbid!  | |
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| 07-11-12 10:02pm - 4547 days | #20 | |
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PinkPanther (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,136 Registered: Jan 08, '07 Location: Oakland, CA |
Fellatio is hot, but the main thing to me is a sense of sexy play - titty-fucks can be very exciting, especially if the girl looks like she's enjoying giving one and butt-cleave stimulation is very exciting as well as giving lots of opportunity for sexy fun teasing, which is for me the real source of the dick-stiffening. | |
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| 07-12-12 04:32am - 4546 days | #21 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
Haha. Not that kind of surprise -- that would be a drag. Though it sure worked in The Crying Game. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-12-12 07:33am - 4546 days | #22 | |
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jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
It's interesting that Heather's sign-up was Jul 30, 07 so been around for five years and is just now starting to post on a regular basis. Girl/boy - transgender - doesn't matter if you treat them as a person and not as an object of our lust. If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee. If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! | |
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| 07-12-12 12:12pm - 4546 days | #23 | ||
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RagingBuddhist (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 893 Registered: Jan 23, '07 |
You were/are probably the wrong gender. Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity. | ||
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| 07-14-12 04:01am - 4544 days | #24 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
Yeah, I've been intermittent at best. I think I posted to the forum a couple of times the first year or two, then I just forgot about it. Even when I'd come and read reviews occasionally, I'd forget about the forum. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-14-12 04:02am - 4544 days | #25 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
Ha! I guess I invited that one. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-14-12 07:13am - 4544 days | #26 | |
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jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
Well I for one, and I see others too, appreciate your attendance. If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee. If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! | |
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| 07-14-12 10:53am - 4544 days | #27 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Waiting's not an option, Heather .......Doctor  told me I might have only days to live. Edited on Jul 14, 2012, 11:02am | |
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| 07-14-12 11:08am - 4544 days | #28 | |
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jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
Listen Graymane - tell the damn doctor to go screw himself and stick around awhile longer just to flummox him. Would much prefer you having you not exit the building thank you.  Just Say NO! If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee.If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! Edited on Jul 14, 2012, 11:34am | |
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| 07-14-12 11:17am - 4544 days | #29 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
Please assure me that this is a joke.  "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-14-12 11:58am - 4544 days | #30 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Yes it is ... and a very bad one at that. Seems my attept at humor is takin' flight along with most of the other deteriorating senses God gave me. | |
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| 07-14-12 12:01pm - 4544 days | #31 | |
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HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended Posts: 73 Registered: Jul 30, '07 Location: Providence, RI |
Then I guess I won't need this after all.  "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox | |
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| 07-14-12 12:07pm - 4544 days | #32 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
It was my initial intention to follow up on this post by the doctor saying : But if you'll pay the past-due bill you owe me, I'll give you a few years more. Didn't think you guys would've really taken me seriously! My apologies! | |
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| 07-14-12 12:26pm - 4544 days | #33 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
You sneaked that one in on me when I wasn't looking, graymane. Glad to see that it was a joke because if I had read the previous posts I would have believed you, too. Here's to sticking around for years to come for both you and me!  | |
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| 07-14-12 02:02pm - 4544 days | #34 | |
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jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
Yeah Graymane, though I'm sure there are some days it feels like it is what he said.  Hold the course my friend. Stay thirsty.  If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee.If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! | |
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| 07-14-12 02:18pm - 4544 days | #35 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Thanks, my good friend. And may that precious gift of life especially be yours: Because, allow me to say, unlike many of us, the most important reason for that lies with the fact an all-encompassing, devotional love you share with the other half of your life needs for you to stay around. If this skewed, knee-jerk post I just perpetrated served for any good reason, it would have to be accredited to this opportunity to high-light the compassionate and loyal position messmer has chosen and continues to dutifully maximize as a life's partner to his one and only. Caregiver: I've been there, and I've more than earned the right to expound upon it without limits. | |
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| 07-14-12 03:26pm - 4544 days | #36 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
I'm surprised to see you've taken this thing so hard, my friend. I'm really touched. And because of that, I'm gonna reveal, (and it will interest you to know) that because of the special rapport I feel we've formed as PU brethren, and seeing nobody else in my present realm has gained that honor, the fifty thousand I bequeathed to you, had all this been true, obviously won't be forthcoming. | |
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| 07-14-12 03:49pm - 4544 days | #37 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Thank you, graymane, even though I feel uncomfortable because you make me look like a saint! You know, it's been a loving partnership for many years. She has my back, I have hers .. to the best of our ability anyway, and my wife is daily doing as much for me and my well-being as I do for hers, so no credit required. I shouldn't have even mentioned it if I hadn't had a weak moment some time ago and shared with the group. Believe it or not our isolation makes this group the only friends I have, that's why I wore my heart on my sleeve here, in this unlikely spot. Strange how many nice people one can meet among a bunch of so-called "pervs" There I go getting maudlin' again. Sorry!  | |
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| 07-14-12 04:43pm - 4544 days | #38 | |
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jberryl69 (0)
Disabled User Posts: 1,000 Registered: Nov 27, '10 Location: neverland |
 you are so funny Graymane. You might be dissolving before our eyes but you've managed to maintain that sense of humor that keeps us coming back at ya. If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee.If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat! | |
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| 07-14-12 06:32pm - 4544 days | #39 | |
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graymane (0)
Suspended Posts: 1,411 Registered: Feb 20, '10 Location: Virginia |
Thanks, partner ....... you've said it precisely the way I'd like to be remembered.  | |
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