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07-06-12  04:46pm - 4552 days #2
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
I guess I'll begin.

I think the first thing to emphasize is that women are mysterious, elusive, endlessly fascinating, complex. (You may elect to use different descriptors. ) Men, on the other hand, are relatively predictable.

That difference is reflected in our bodies. A man's organ is fairly straightforward. Its purpose is pretty much clear from its appearance. Here's an analogy: when you pick up a ball, you know instinctively that it's designed to be thrown -- no instruction manual necessary. Well, it's clear what a penis is for, and while you'll rightly point out that some women are better at handling your johnson than others, what a woman needs to do is pretty obvious -- not a lot of variation there -- and the results are predictable.

Not so with the feminine species. Our cave of wonders is secretive, hidden by folds, requiring exploration. And because no two women are alike, the results of your work aren't predictable. Consider these friends/acquaintances of mine:

--one cannot achieve orgasm unless she's penetrated; others don't enjoy being penetrated at all except by a penis (i.e., no fingers, no toys)

--one can achieve orgasm merely by having her nipples caressed; another has nipples that aren't sensitive, and she thus finds no enjoyment in having them sucked, squeezed, etc. However, if her breasts are gently shaken from side to side, *that's* arousing

--some love gentle rubbing of their vaginas; others love to grind their clitoris hard against whatever's available; one of my friends masturbates by staring at a dot on the wall and blocking everything else out until she has an orgasm (though intense rubbing of her clit); another places lit candles around the bathtub, imagines an elaborate scene for an hour or more, and eventually is carried away to O-land

--some love dirty talk; others are deeply offended by name-calling (same with rough play)

You get the point. You have to read the signs. If you're getting soft moans and movements that match yours, you're golden; if she's silent and still, time for Plan B.

Also, recognize that women's bodies have lots of unexpected spots that are surprisingly arousing (on the neck, for example, or the inner thigh, or the back of the leg, etc.). But those areas change from woman to woman, and we don't always know what those spots are. We depend on our lovers to help us discover those places. Even those of us who can bring ourselves to orgasm still don't know all of the hidden treasures contained in our own vessels. Part of the joy of lovemaking is learning such stuff.

So take your time, be creative, explore from head to toe, enjoy the experience (and let her know you're enjoying it ... we love to be told we're exciting you).

Oh, and be careful, because you might run into a woman who slaps her knees together when she orgasms. Like me. So be prepared to read the signs and get your head out of there just in time.

I hope that helped at least somewhat. Now get to work -- you've got some exploring to do. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-06-12  12:38pm - 4552 days #25
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Jay G:


Went and checked the link on 10 Reasons Why Women Love Bad Boys and loved it, but had to add this:

The most important reason to love bad boys: When your life gets really fucked up you can blame them for everything! You are the victim and cannot be blamed no matter what. They are BAD.

And those "nice" guys will still offer you everything no matter how much you treat them like shit! Win-win, right?

Oh, except for the fucked up life, I guess.


That's some theory, Jay. Have issues with women much? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-06-12  12:33pm - 4552 days #24
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:

If you decide to give us some tips on making our girls squirm in bed then please start another thread so that everyone knows what it is about. This way others can add to it or as the case may be ask you tons of questions. We could even start a ask Heater thread.


Ha! Well, my 50 tips was tongue in cheek, and I'm not sure I'd be such a great advice columnist. Women are so different, after all. But if you really want to make your gal squirm, do the dishes and vacuum. I *promise* she'll be putty in your hands the rest of the night. Eating chicken is optional.

Seriously, though, if any of you do have specific questions, feel free message me. I'll do my best to provide adequate counsel. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-05-12  12:41pm - 4553 days #16
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Wow -- I'd be careful with this one. If she's open to more primal sex, then build up to it and gauge her reaction. Start with some dirty talk, then, if she's open to that, be a little more adventurous until you have the courage to tell her what you want. Maybe you can save it for a special occasion -- your birthday, for example; tell her how sexy she is and how much it would mean to you to do this.

Keep this in mind: if you try it, and she's not into at all, it won't be worth it. It won't be a positive memory, and it won't be an image that excites you in the future (i.e., your wife recoiling in horror).

I thus strongly encourage you not to simply do it. Sex is a shared experience, and while some women enjoy being used like props, that doesn't appear to be the case with your wife, and the ramifications for you may be entirely negative.

That doesn't mean you can't have a fulfilling sex life. In fact, I think guys give up too soon if they sense hesitancy. But really, sometimes the idea has to sink in before we respond to it. You married her: do everything you can to make it work. The idea that you're so casually saying, "Should I find somebody else?" is troubling, to say the least -- and pretty immature. (Sorry to be so harsh.)

Heather "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-05-12  12:25pm - 4553 days #20
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:

I'd also like to add that the content inside most if not all fashion magazines is primarily produced by women for women. See above reason why men can't do it. The fact that it appeals to so many women is why fashion magazines are the worse thing for normal women to look at. All the articles in those magazines are designed to make you feel as though your life isn't as good as it should be and as much as the fashion may be nice. It will never be as nice on normal women because they were designed for a body type that is not normal.


Thank you for your post, pat, but really, you need to stop reading fashion magazines. You're not in the audience, and you're negative experience reflects that.

Truth is, lots of fashion magazines exist, so it's difficult to generalize, but I read fashion magazines because, as I said earlier, I like fashion. I love shoes. I love cool dresses. I love handbags and purses. (What do women want? More of those. Mystery solved.) Those publications are as much fantasy as anything else, because I'll never be able to afford what's being presented. I *don't* read fashion magazines to look at models or to acquire life advice, so I never feel badly about myself after breezing through Vogue, Glamour, or whatever. They're fun, sometimes educational (Glamour especially covers meaningful issues), and always a nice distraction from reality -- sort of like good porn.

I *do* feel badly about magazines like Cosmo, though -- which isn't a fashion mag -- because it's all about making women feel inadequate, especially if they don't have a man. The contradictory message Cosmo sends is to be liberated and independent while devoting yourself fully to satisfying your man: "And here are 50 more tips for how to make your guy squirm in bed." Ugh.

Last point: fruit and vegetables make you a better lover, not red meat. (Read "The Orgasm Diet.") So don't refrain from opting for the salad if you've got a nice, long night ahead of you with a companion that's not inflatable. If you're interested, I can give you 50 tips for how to make your gal squirm in bed.

Peace. - Heather "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-04-12  04:01am - 4555 days #9
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Thanks for the thoughtful response, slutty.

I've never really understood why men enjoy fake boobs. Natural breasts are wonderful things (as are men who appreciate them).

Take heart: something tells me the fake-boob era may be waning. And as a carrier of "the smaller sizes," I have no intention of making any adjustments, save for the occasional push-up bra on special occasions. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

07-03-12  07:10pm - 4555 days #7
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:


-Why can't a woman be happy with the body she has?
-Why can't a woman be happy with the face she has?
-Why do so many (North American) women seem to have a fascination with larger breast?
-Why do so many women read fashion magazines when they know the model in the photo is either unhealthily thin, a genetic freak or was photoshopped to appear like a WWII prisoneer or war?
-Why do they go to a restaurant and order a salad when they really wanted the burger?


Many women can't be happy with their body/face because we're consistently reminded that we don't measure up (explicitly or implicitly) -- by media and by men. We're judged by our appearance much more so than men.

Some women have a fascination (your word) with larger breasts because North American men have a fascination with larger breasts.

We read fashion magazines because we enjoy fashion. We don't read fashion magazines to gaze at models.

I like salads. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-26-12  04:52pm - 4562 days #37
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Thank you for your post, Pat. That's a big help, and I really appreciate it! "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-26-12  10:46am - 4562 days #34
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
I find vintage porn (well before my time) to be far more erotic than contemporary porn. I'm particularly fond of Veronica Hart, who is as much an actress as a sex performer. In fact, if any of you know where I might find clips of Ms. Hart beyond just a Google search, I'd be much obliged. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-26-12  10:38am - 4562 days #27
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Drooler:


As long as they can [finish] before the guy falls asleep, it should work out okay.


Sounds like my love life. I guess I have lowered standards. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-26-12  10:35am - 4562 days #3
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
*This* will always be Big Ben for me, but then, I'm American.

http://www.amazon.com/Big-Ben-Penis-Dild...uction/dp/B007I6Z7GQ

Get a load of the description: "Guaranteed to make your bells chime more than once an hour!" Oh my. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-26-12  03:41am - 4563 days #17
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
I look forward to seeing your Hoarders episode, Claypaws. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-25-12  12:38pm - 4563 days #16
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
So if we remove everything we're not fond of, what are we left with? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-24-12  05:49pm - 4564 days #7
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Drooler:


that's no less strange than throwing open the window and firing it at the pigeons.


Pretty kinky, Drooler.

Seriously, though, if I were a director, I'd let the woman finish the man off (and focus much more on presenting the happy ending in an erotic way). It's pretty disappointing and monotonous to see males pumping away while the woman just kneels there waiting. Zzzz. That's not a natural finish. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-24-12  11:39am - 4564 days #4
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
You're probably seeking erotica, elephant -- a welcome distraction from graphic porn. More fantasy, more lingering over the subtle elements of the photographs. The masturbation/dildo shots likely violate the artistic nature of the shots for you. To me, some of the sexiest shots are non-nude. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-23-12  10:42am - 4565 days #15
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
O ... kay. But that still means you're downloading 1000 pictures a day every single day for 10 years.

Oh, and I could use some of those empty boxes, so don't toss 'em. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-20-12  04:30pm - 4568 days #8
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
You poor, poor man -- stuck on a cruise ship for most of three weeks. How did you manage? The horror, the horror.

Welcome back. Here are some boobies for you.

"Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-20-12  04:22pm - 4568 days #22
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
New York magazine did a piece a couple years back on Live Jasmin models. I recall that models charging $1.99/min. would receive roughly .35 of that amount. So that's about $20 for an hour-long cam session -- and very few sessions are more than a few minutes long (so says the article) because the men resist joining the model in a private paid session until they're close to ... er ... finishing.

Jasmin, which the article claimed was the most successful site of its kind, allows anyone to visit a model's "free" room (non-nude, but still sexy, presumably) before electing to engage in a private, paid session. So basically, a guy can go about jerkin' the gherkin' watching the model in free until he's ready for some nudity-inspired spurting.

Heck of a way to make a (not very good) living. I suppose the very best models can charge more and do okay, but the typical model has to work awfully hard (at unusual hours of the day and night) to just earn a meager wage. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-20-12  04:10pm - 4568 days #13
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
My goodness, what do you do with between 2 and 3 million photos?

On second thought, I probably don't want to know. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

06-18-12  06:45pm - 4570 days #18
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
There's still too much of a stigma attached to being in porn, so I'd hesitate to say the profession is earning more respect. It's unfortunate, really, because plenty of women in the sex trade business work awfully hard for a living, yet they're subjected to all sorts of harassment and abuse.

I think what's popular in porn circles often involves the degradation of women, so even men who enjoy adult stuff -- that is, those you'd expect to be supportive of female performers -- get off on seeing women used.

Or am I being too harsh? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

05-08-08  06:26pm - 6072 days #8
HeatherMcXxx (0)
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Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
I prefer cotton. =) It's comfy. =) "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

05-07-08  10:09am - 6074 days #7
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Okay, I just have to say that I laughed out loud at the "product placment" comment. =) "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

05-07-08  09:41am - 6074 days #8
HeatherMcXxx (0)
Suspended



Posts: 73
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
I had to read an article on male masturbation terminology for one of my graduate school linguistics classes -- yes, I'm not kidding. It was a historical survey of the various ways self love has been termed over the centuries. And I must say that I chuckled throughout. My favorite: jerkin' the gherkin. =) "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox

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