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10-23-11  01:12pm - 4809 days #22
graymane (0)
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C'mon, gentlemen, give me some input here.

although my concluding (chapter six) of Ron's success, failure or eventual fate is already conceived, anything you contribute that's used will include you in the accolades and generous royalties the story will bring once it's snatched off the store shelves and ultimately goes global.

10-22-11  04:10pm - 4810 days #21
graymane (0)
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Chapter five

Ben Sizeman can be a valued friend or your worse nightmare.
He controlled a big chunk of drug activity all over town as well stretching even out to the outer rural community.
Anyone brave enough to buck him, or especially horn-in on his lucrative drug trade, mysteriously disappeared.
A gratful shark population a short ways off the city's coastal shores were benefactors and usually made quick work of the evidence.

Ben owned a popular night club, which drew in the local drinking crowd, but also catered the finest of the area's beautiful women to the city's male power structure who kept the law off his back.
It wasn't uncommon for Ben to sometimes transport into town a willing celebrity, because uninterruped progress was the money-being -of-no-object operative.

Ben had a small army of loyal henchmen, who guarded him with the zeal a honeybee would its queen. These men also made it very uncomfortable for those who were dumb enough to falter on owed debts or promises.
If Ben wanted something you had that you didn't want to surrender .... one or two of these guys were able to cordially change your mind.
Ben dabbled and fronted as a realtor, maintaining a plush office atop the city's highest building...as always, close by, would be a capable, legally armed "enforcer" to do his bidding.

This morning, Ben was informed that he had a visitor. He was about to instruct his man to just get rid of him when told that it was a policeman.
"He says he has something very important to discuss with you, sir"
"Ok, Jake' Ben said....'pat him down and send him on in."

Hat in hands, wearing a sport coat, matching pants and freshly shined, shoes, standing before Ben's huge desk, The visitor meekly greets this imposing figure and says:
"I'm Officer Ron Owens and I'm here to ask a favor."


stay tuned for Chapter six "The finally"
Last chance, gentlemen, before the wrap.....any ideas for the outcome? Edited on Oct 23, 2011, 12:29pm

10-19-11  09:11pm - 4813 days #20
graymane (0)
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Chapter four

After considerable thought, Ron has concluded he's gonna have to tackle this project alone, with his wits. Involving anybody on the force is out.

But Ron has mastered another approach. It's risky, but now getting his hands on that huge porn-stash has become all-consumming. His insides felt as if a presence was chewing it's way out from within. For the first time he noticed his right hand was shaking....and not from watching porn stars getting it on at his computer screen.

Tomorrow is his day off. Tonight He would put his usual habit of nestling afront his computer screen whilest feasting on porn on hold.
Pondering, He confidently thought to himself: "I'm movin' on up to the big-time." The man who owned all this rare, voluminous porn-storage was well padded and lived quite well -- his home atop high-ground on ten acres lined with fruit trees.
Word has it his collection contained very rare, seemingly endless volumes of unobtainable scenes, so erotically charged that it is joked many hard-liner evangelicals would take leave from the pulpit for a viewing opportunity.

But who was this man? thought Ron. He mysteriously shows up in his town, spends lavishly to establish himself as a model citizen, pads the pockets of the right people who adopt a citizenry "don't ask, don't tell" directive; living alone in a big house on a high hill, seemingly bothering no one....What gives?
Ron utters under his breath. "Hell, with all that porn who needs anything else."

But if all go as planned, thinks Ron....the guy'll hav' to probably start all over. So what? Better him than me. Besides, I need the damned stuff worse than he does, anyway. Unlike me, He's got the loot, let'em jus' dig deeper in his pocketbook.
Unavoidably, though, an unexpected wave of guilt swept over Officer Ron Owens. "what if this were happening to me?" I'd go off the deep end, by God." But guilt had vanished almost before it materlized.

Ron's new plan involved somebody else doing his dirty-work. He knew just who to approach. And that person wouldn't be intimidated... because despite the porn-owner's wealth, this man wielded far more power and muscle, and he wouldn't fail.
Ron would meet the man who'll pull this thing off tomorrow morning.
Tess is already asleep as Ron enters their bedroom. Too bad. This was one night sex with his wife would've taken precedence over a seated session with his porn.


STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER FIVE....

10-19-11  12:20am - 4814 days #5
graymane (0)
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My laugh for the day, Capn... funny stuff

Hav' you heard about a new beer called the "card-table"?
Over two and your legs fold.
Spent penis: phalluses paralysis

Oh-hum!

10-17-11  03:54pm - 4815 days #19
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by juicyjasmine:




I am juicyjasmine and brand new to the site.


Welcome, juicyJ. Always a pleasure and honorable bonus to have members of the softer-gentler gender drop in.
It is especially everybody's good fortune when that gender is female and a webmaster.
We'd love to have you actively participating in our forum ... as I'm confidant you'd find this site, and our never-boring, stimulating, warm, friendly, exciting, and heavily opinionative bunch of porn-lovin' scholars of titillation, to be a grand learning experience.

10-15-11  09:51pm - 4817 days #11
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by rearadmiral:

When I saw it, I was still young and living at home and was a devout Catholic. Satan was real to me then. And most other horror movies were so silly that they lacked any credibility. Then along comes The Exorcist. Scared me fucking silly. I went to Mass daily for a month and stopped jerking off too. For a 14 year old, that says something.



Funny stuff, rearadmiral.
I'd say Linda's horrible appearance in that film also cleared any image of her being a wanking fantasy for many-a lad who saw her as such having seen the movie.

The Exorcist Was Linda Blair's crowning acheivment. It launched her career from lackluster to super-somebody.
And It was that movie which displayed a "turn-around" for Linda, (Meaning More specifically because of the neat way she had of ("turning") her head around completely backwards.)

Nothing stopped me from jerking off at age fourteen.... not even the boxing gloves afixed to my hands before retiring for the night. Edited by Staff on Oct 16, 2011, 07:54am (Khan: fixed quoteback)

10-14-11  08:57pm - 4818 days #12
graymane (0)
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Reeeeally glad you awaken this thread, denner.
Unfortunately though, we still have far too many mental zombies who're directing and those operating the cameras. For whatever reaons, they're still as dumb as they ever was.
HELP!

10-11-11  11:27pm - 4821 days #19
graymane (0)
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Hark, oh observant Berryman, for I have deciphered the meaning of the word "fluffer" .... and have gone forth to remedy and refine the horrid mishap engendered in #16 posting.
This is what you get when you pre-write prose via Microsoft word for the purpose of grammatical perfection, and it turns on you .... wherein a "fluffer" is required to render it decipherable.

For the benefit of all those other esteemed PU viewers who've granted me there valued attention, and to mercifully stay with me on this project, I extend my most heartfelt appreciation. I have edited post #16 to offer some measure of visual compensation ......and added on an additional post scrip.

10-11-11  09:23pm - 4821 days #18
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by jberryl69:


Can we send in the fluffer in Chapt 4... Please?!?


Fluffer is good.
Could someone out there help me with the word "fluffer?

10-11-11  05:38pm - 4821 days #16
graymane (0)
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Chapter three:

Its 9:00 am, having had only three hours sleep, from setting through first-half the morning on a mesmerizing marathon tripping in his porn, Ron is on auto-pilot and seemingly only going through the motions getting ready to be at the station and report for police duty.

Exchanging the usual greetings to fellow officers upon arriving at the station, Ron has a half-hour to kill before he and Kelly boards their #150 sleek, white patrol car and hit the road.
Ron finds Kelly where he expected, in the Rec room, her concentration absorbed in a book and sipping coffee.
Of all the women he knew connected with the department, Kelly surpassed them all ... in looks, brains, and figure. Clear, smooth skin, cropped blond hair, green eyes and lips a la Angelina Jolie ... why, Without even drawing her weapon, Kelly could figuratively disarm a threat with just a hint of a smile.
As always, her uniform is impeccably pressed and creased; the fabric tight against her firm thighs and round buttocks, breaking only in slack at her small waist -- sculptured using a vigorous exercise program promising killer abs and fat obliteration.

Kelly had come away from an abusive marriage, her self esteem destroyed, her confidence and belief in herself shattered, and knowing if continued she'd be on a course too frightening to ponder.
Climbing out of that quagmire by her wits and fortitude, she promised herself never to sink that low again.
Joining the force has had a very positive effect and a powerful learning experience For her. And she wanted to give something back.

"You look stunning, Partner ... I know where you can make some very good money ... and its honest work and won't interfere with police work" joked Ron. "Thanks but no thanks... coming out of my uniform piece by piece to spur the lust of a group of prevs is not my bag" quipped Kelly.

Appealing to Kelly's softer side, and on a serious note, Ron tells her its his and his wife (Tess's) upcoming anniversary, and he asks if he can deposit her somewhere for an hour or two while he escorts Tess to a couple places to pick out a proper present.
"Awww, Ron, thats adorable" says Kelly. But isn't that against rules" Kelly asks.
well yes, technically, but who's gonna know? " frowns Ron. "but suppose you're spotted by another officer, and , well, we're reported? Do you want to take that chance,"? says Kelly?
Well its really only a small chance, Kelly ... and this is a one-time thing." "Well gee, Ron, I don't think I'm willing to risk it ... and I'm somewhat hurt you're putting me in this position". Ron advances to plan two: "Ok, but I got a tip on some drug activity across town ... that'll mean your having to stay in the car doing lookout while I go in and do the bust ...Now This ain't coming from downtown,Pard.... so Are you wit me , or agin' me on this operation?"




Questionable coming attractions...
Will Kelly fold, launch her own investagation? Will officer Owens bite off more than he can chew? Will Tess tire of Ron and his insatiable appetite for porn ... and become a lesbo?
tune in on Chapter four for an unexpected (and merciful) the dramatic conclusion Edited on Oct 11, 2011, 10:11pm

10-10-11  09:39pm - 4822 days #15
graymane (0)
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This is great! Things are begining to heat up and turn into `Just what I wanted to see.
stay involved guys and help me come up with an award-winning fanally.

Meanwhile, chapter three is waiting in the wings.

10-09-11  04:29pm - 4823 days #8
graymane (0)
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It is written God created man. In my judgment he/she did so to include warts and all. God gives us a will to choose amongst acting on those temptations instilled within us ... whether they be good or bad.
Having done this, it's inconcievable to me that this all knowing and all loving creator would become angry and punish us should we yeild to those powerfully strong negative forces he'd/she gave us in the first place.

I believe there's a judgement; and it only makes sense those who have followed the path of good over evil will in some way be rewarded ...... but at the same time those who ignored internal signals of real wrong-doings and went-ahead and committed them anyway, will be handed down a revelation of his deeds and face an applicable consequence.... But certainly not and everlasting resident of a fury hell.

I think it all boils down to "HOW ONE TREATS HIS FELLOW MAN.".... as well as other living creatures among us.

Please pardon me for climing onto my soapbox and sliding a bit off-topic ..... but this is a subject that gets my motor running.

10-09-11  03:21pm - 4823 days #8
graymane (0)
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Chapter II
It's 10:00 pm, Ron is alone in his study thrashing over the details of how to cleanly pull this thing off. He's ready and wants to move on his plans tomorrow, but there are still nagging concerns about Kelly. He'd ruled out digging for any dirt she might have in her past (as an exposure tactic in case she should know too much thus becoming a threat.)
Ron awards Kelly credit for being too smart and professional to cave that easily anyway. Despite their close, working partnership ties, Ron knows Kelly is by-the-book and loyal to police protocol. He also knows he’d be toast if Kelly found out
The pair would go on duty at midday tomorrow; maybe in the interim, he thought, I’ll come up with something more I’ll feel comfortable with. Now, Very tired, eyelids heavy and his body beckoning the need for sleep, he instead fights it off and goes to his computer .... a couple clicks and the screen is alive with porn.

10-05-11  07:12pm - 4827 days #6
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


Excellent stuff so far. This could even win a PU Forum Award.


That would perhaps be an honor, squirrel. But I think I'm still grounded from events of last year's awards.





An' to you Capn.... always grateful for your humorous regard and winning inspiration.

The encounter chronicling loyalty from Kelly or ,conversely, a surprising showdown, will commence if viewership warrants.

10-05-11  05:13pm - 4827 days #4
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


Blackmail. Threaten to expose some secret in Kelly's past. For example:

Kelly was formerly a transsexual man who had sex change operations and hormone replacement therapies to become a woman. That changeover was not illegal, but she failed to list those operations on her employment application to become a police officer (a medical history is required as part of the application). And since this is a redneck, backwoods community, Kelly would be regarded with distrust and repugnance for the sex change by her fellow officers, making it impossible to carry out her duties.

Officer Ron would not only gain a massive porn stash, he would also gain a sex slave in the form of officer Kelly. A win-win situation for the lucky Ron. And Kelly, would also be winner, because she would gain the masterful lover she had been searching for all her/his life.

Kelly is only straight-laced on the surface. But like so many people, what lies beneath the surface can be very different.


Outstanding, lK2fireone.....
A brilliant plot-closer that'll give me something to think about.
Golly! ... It's that kind of creative savvy that makes this site sparkle.

10-05-11  04:17pm - 4827 days Original Post - #1
graymane (0)
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Chapter one

Officer Ron Owens has a porn addiction, and it’s bigger than his willpower or his purchasing power to sate his burgeoning habit. His internet expenses are already drawing fire and threats of separation from his wife, and compounding all this is the consequences should this get out at his precinct.

Desperate, Ron hatches a plan: Having Obtained information about a man across town who reportedly has a glut of premium porn stored on multiple external hard drives, Ron would use the power of his badge to get his hands on them ... If only maintaining possession for as long as it takes to satisfy his immediate lust and make copies of as much of the man's stuff as humanly possible for future viewing.
Since this operation would have to be initiated outside police jurisdiction, Ron needs to muster a fool-proof, Masterful plan-of-action -- one that stifles any and all possibilities of error.
For starters, He would have to show up at the man’s home in his marked cruiser, have proper credentials and the genuine appearance of police authority.

The time is nigh, approach is rehearsed and re-re-rehearsed. Ron is ready.
Only a couple other matters to deal with:
1) Would he risk drawing his marked police cruiser from the motor pool without the presence of his partner: ( Duel checkout is a rule commanding strict adherence and serious consequences if disobeyed)
2) His partner: Kelly Stevens, A recruit fresh out of the academy, in training and under the auspices and guidance of Officer Ron Owens.
Gender? Female, straight-laced, brainwashed on police ethics, an indefatigable advocate on sexual abuse of women.

There’s no turning back .... Ron is going in.
He’s confident he’ll succeed with the temporary confiscation, but he’ll have to count heavily on his gift of persuasion and reputed charm to keep Kelly’s mouth shut.


NOTE ... I’ll get to matters having that vast storage of porn surrendered to Ron Owens later.
But first, can you offer some ideas how we’ll win over Kelly’s acquiescence?..... Or simply keep her mouth shut!


Chapter two is (upcoming)
But only upon a warranted response following chapter one.
(Nothing begets nothing)

10-04-11  04:35pm - 4828 days #17
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by Ed2009:


"Reality porn" sites would be hilarious if they really were showing what would really happen. Maybe that's a new direction they could try?




Awesome, ED....This "new direction" idea you brought up is a brilliant idea. I really think it would fly.

10-03-11  12:08am - 4830 days #16
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


I think she's busy with other things at the moment, Cap'n!


Reading between the lines of one of mistresskent's latter messages, I got the impression she's taken a serious interest in music production of some kind.
If or how this is impacting her website I don't know, but her recent absence posting in the forum, I'd venture to say, is felt by all of us who follow her delightfully amusing input. I for one sure miss it.

10-02-11  06:15pm - 4830 days #16
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by TheSquirrel:


Spot on as always graymane. Not only funny but very accurate. You're not Wittyguy's dad by any chance are you?


Not related... but thanks for the thought.
I'd consider it a hefty privilege to even be included in a conversation with Witty, not to mention a genetic connection. The man's truely gifted.

10-02-11  05:19pm - 4830 days #15
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by Denner:


What a story, what a way back to reality...hilarious!
Thanks from another "old geezer"...and "over-aged, wrinkled-ass, sriveled-pricked bastard".



Glad to have the company, Denner. Thanks.
Figuratively speaking, Tis Generous of you to take the same bullet on my behalf like this. Edited on Oct 04, 2011, 04:33pm

10-02-11  03:40pm - 4830 days #5
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


This is something I keep missing. A scene that starts with the actors having a drink or a meal, or both, that then slowly progresses toward the ultimate act of intimacy with a lot of kissing, tender caressing, and definitely slow mutual undressing before they eventually end up in bed. To me THAT would be sexy!

Would that still be Porn, I wonder?? What do you think?


Another provocative thread, my friend, and timely considering the direction the porn business seems to be going in.
What you are describing, I'd say, bordors more on the old fashion, classic terms called either "romance" (noun) .."romantic" (adj) ... "romantically " (adv) ... or the figure of speech best befitting this senerio: "romancing" ... (verb).

Your way is decidedly logic, socially sensible, conventional and solidely grounded in normalcy ..... conditions of which mark the antithesis of the porn industry's interests.

10-01-11  08:45pm - 4831 days #6
graymane (0)
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Reeeally, really impressive stuff loaded in that link, Jberry.
It was particularly informative and of interest to me because of my continued support to the Animals Rights movement....especially having to do with PETA -- whose Headquarters, BTW, are based right here in Norfolk Virginia, which adjoins Virginia Beach, a major coastal resort area along the Eastern Seaboard.
Hard to grasp any suggestion PETA would be even remotely involved in Porn, though..... I mean, PETA associating their name with any racy or salacious industry, even on the smallest scale, would be inviting crusade suicide thus certainly turning away a crippling number of heavy supporters.

10-01-11  07:07pm - 4831 days #10
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


I see nothing sexy about ladies in a tub or in a shower. You'll probably disagree with me because there sure are a lot of updates in photo sites containing the above, so someone must like them.



I couldn't agree with you more, Sir messmer..... absolutely nothing about the combination of water and women even remotely does anything for me. Furthermore, it presses the limit of understanding for me why anybody else would. My take on bathing scenes smack more of boring TV commercials than porn at any level.

I'd be a much happier trooper also if more stuff came my way without the obligatory BJs, multiple/lenghty/closeups and necessity to include in each scene every coital position invented by man. And don't let me leave out the inescapible finally --- THE FACIAL.


I might be tarred-'an-feathered by opposition for stomping all over those popular, closing thoughts I'm submitting here... but if I am, just bring it on cuz I'm gonna throw my two cents worth in every time I'm invited or see an opening to rant about it.

09-29-11  09:19pm - 4833 days #11
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


Thanks, graymane, that was the best spoof of the "reality" genre I've had the pleasure to read.




Coming from a guy who, in his own right being one of the forum's more prolific writers, I'd say I was bestowed a rather lofty compliment.....thanks, Sir Messmer






If you're listening, Capn, ... . let me take this opportunity to include the fact nothing brightens up a thread more than your input......so thanks for lettin' the sunshine in on this one.

09-29-11  01:05pm - 4833 days #8
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by Ed2009:




I thought that was going to be a spam post at first, but no!
Excellent work.


Thanks for the kind words, ED. Always a bonus when we get attention from our valued WebMasters

09-29-11  12:58pm - 4833 days #7
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by manholelover:


Hilarous Graymane,

Add to that two old guys, buying a van, doing it up etc, and approaching some bruiser, intimidating, scary WASP loving straight guy, ask him to come into the van and get his dick sucked by a couple of gay guys...and surprisingly, they acquiesce, titter and laugh at how funny it was...no hint of un urge to cut the cock off the offending guys....


Great perspective representing a Gay approach.
Thanks for adding the extra pizzazz, MHL, always a pleasure having you drop in.

09-29-11  12:30pm - 4833 days #6
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by otoh:


So, graymane, you're suggesting it's all fake? That the girls are willing models, and in on it? Surely not!

Next you'll be telling me there's no Santa Claus...


(Quote) "Suggesting it's fake? Willing (in on it) recipients?"
Well yeaaaaaah!

(Quote) "Next my saying there's No Santa Claus?"
Nada, Otoh.... "next" is upon us...... I spotted him last Xmas at Sears.

Thanks for the post, Otoh. Always a treat when you come around.

09-28-11  08:23pm - 4834 days Original Post - #1
graymane (0)
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So my buddie and I rented a big van... after which we installed temporary, strategically placed cameras and fold-down back seats. We went to great pain to make it as pussy-friendly as possible.
After watching endless footage of guys on the internet picking gals up off the street, gettin' them into their vehicle and persuading them to peel, give BJs, fuck in every position space would allow, press a hundred-dollar bill in their soft palm and send them on their way -- how much easier and better could it be? I mean, tender young snatch so willing it's actually snapping to get at your pecker. Icing on the cake is we're gonna get rich doing all this.
First day out we spot our prey: Lovely young thing walking along the sidewalk all alone. Each cheek of her delectable ass shifting from side to side with each step, likened to plump lips opening and coming together, which, sadly, will likely and ultimately via some genetic process grow into likened fat lips opening and coming together.

I make my pitch:
"Hi there, sweetheart" ...(no response).
"My but you're a pretty girl"...(no response)
"What's your name, darlin'" (response) ..."Fuck off you bunch of over-aged, wrinkled-ass, sriveled-pricked bastards!?"
Damned, I'm thinking, this ain't supposed to happen. I've ever seen this sort of thing on the porn sites.


"Eh, look. There's a hundred bucks, and more, in it for you if you'll just step into our van an just talk.
(response) "What are you, some morbid kind of idiot? Do I look as brainless as you two assholes that I'd get in a van with two dumb-ass strangers?"
"An' you'd better haul ass outta my sight cuz I'm already dialing the cops on my cell."
Needless to say, I burnt rubber gettin' outta there.

Our egos now in shambles; our sights to a future of limitless pussy now dimmed; Our bank withdrawl of the few c-notes going to naught; cut down to wet grass by a scorching vocal attack by what's supposed to be the "weaker sex."
And last but not least, a week left on a van I won't be using for the purpose I wanted....all coming together as a painful disillusionment.
All I came away from all this was the hauntingly burning question: How the hell do those guys on the porn sites make it look so easy? How do they do it?
DUH!

09-24-11  12:36pm - 4838 days Original Post - #1
graymane (0)
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"Panning" is amongst those terms I associate with joining a new websight. It's meaning comes from the mining of gold: to seperate look-a-likes, one must carefully wash assembled gravel in a pan in order to ferret the precious metal from worthless debris.
Last month I found gold. I found it in a site to which I later reviewed here on PU.......It's name is Figure Baby.

Because the price was so appealing, I Opted to go for all the marbles and went for the full 90 days.
Unfortunately, a number of expectations I had before joining came up short upon application. Whether it was the fault of FigureBaby or my operating system -- it matters not.
What's important, Tony (Webmaster) went beyond the call, via exchange of emails and technical attempts in order to appease my concerns. Never mind we never got to first base.

Although His approach to this was commendable and above Par, and despite the bumps , I had already downloaded a sizable amount of pictures.... of which, ultimately, I appealed to Tony to charge me for, cancel my subsription and refund me what he thought was a fair return. It's fair to say I expected a kiss-off and silent bye-byes.

Can you imagine my shock, however, when it was revealed he'd refunded not partly but the full amount charged initially from my card?
Which, by the way, came with an apology for my troubles.

Now that, dear Laddies and Lassies .....is a rare example of what I'd like to see etched into the principles of all websights eager to take my money.

09-24-11  10:01am - 4838 days #34
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by Cybertoad:


58. You had to replace the 4 foot by four foot piece of carpet around your pc desk twice in the last six months.

Amen to #58 , CT.

59 ... You remove arm-rests on either side of your chair facing the computer screen.
(might have to think about that one)

60 ... You use your Windows paint feature to include pussies on non-nudes.

61 ... You become addicted to alcohol in an effort to help cure your addiction to porn.

09-23-11  03:53pm - 4839 days #31
graymane (0)
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53....You hint that you'll consider donoting a kidney for lifetime memberships to any five of your favorite porn sites.

54... Being a rabid Jeoparty fan, you appeal to Alex Trebek and the TV Station to include porn related topics.

55... Elect early retirement specifically so's you can devote more time to watching porn.

56 ... To conceal and divert any notion of your active porn watching habit, You run for City Council on a platform to rid your district from all manner of smut relating to porn.
( Does #56 Sound, or look familiar?)

09-22-11  02:54pm - 4840 days #640
graymane (0)
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[QUOTE lk2fireone
A sign of the times:

A Barbie doll with a lower back tattoo (tramp stamp) was released in 2008.

Maybe the members of PU are old fuddy duddies, who can't get with the times. I can't believe that Barbie now has a tramp stamp. What a slut!

Originally Posted by pat362:



^I think they should have a Barbie with a kit containing different tattoos so that you can accessories your own barbie the way you want.


Attention......
Coming soon at your neighborhood Adult Video stores:
life-size, inflated, exact replicas of Barbie.... complete with tattoos, natural skin texture and body-orifices, budding tits, and verified certification of legal age.

Batteries not included Edited on Sep 22, 2011, 02:59pm

09-19-11  10:46am - 4843 days #24
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41 ... Robbed At gun-point, you're told: "it's your porn collection or your life, which is it?"
You ask if he'll give you a moment to think about it.

42 ...Your last will and testament includes an article that lap-top, two yr. battery supply, unlimited credit card funds, and necessary power sources be buried with you.

43 ... Your bumper sticker reads: "honk if you're a pervert?"

44 ... You have "terms of Agreements" written up before you committ to costly purchases for your wife.

09-18-11  03:23pm - 4844 days #29
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by mistresskent:


Happy days!! Glad all is good Mr Graymane xxxx


I'm a little annoyed with myself for not having replied sooner to your short but thoughtful message, MK.

Although my gratitude is still alive an' well to all the others who expressed concern for my wellbeing, in the wake of that hurricane, the final post coming from a lady whose credentials ranks at the summit of beauty and brains.....whose infrequent presence we're privileged to from time-to-time, bringing with it the welcome glow unique only to her style and grace, certainly gives everything more class.

BTW, MK......have you hung up your whips and leather in lieu of another line of business? We ain't seeing much, if anthing, of you lately!

09-18-11  01:40pm - 4844 days #23
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37.... You're making a scene in a public library because you can't get porn on their computers.

38...Told you only have six months to live, your one and only thought is: My God, what's to become of my porn collection?

39 .... Your computer's power supply is backed up by a gas generator

40 ... Attending church, You get an immediate erection when it's announced a lovely member of the choir will do a solo. Edited on Sep 19, 2011, 09:50am

09-17-11  06:42pm - 4845 days #17
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27 .... Charges on your credit card, outside of porn-related purchases, brings an Alert from your card provider.

28.... You list a favorite porn site as reference when making a bank loan.

29 .... You Use lubes with anti-inflamatory properties.

09-16-11  11:01pm - 4846 days #23
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


Don't you think we should let them take a shower first, graymane?. I even vote that we let them brush their hair afore they go performing!


Ok, sir messmer.....good point ....and well taken.
Shower's in and so is brushing her bush.

09-16-11  06:59pm - 4846 days #6
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Can I jump in here, guys?

Signs You May Watch Too Much Porn.....

16) Flashing thoughts of a roll-in-the-hey with Whoopi Goldberg.

17) You suggest monthly renewals on your relationship with girlfriends.

1 In the heat of a passionate coital moment, you make the fatal mistake of slapping your wife's tits and ass, calling her a bitch and a whore


Subject matter is just too good to stop..... I got a few more brewing. Edited on Sep 16, 2011, 07:03pm

09-15-11  02:28pm - 4847 days #20
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I think we ought to simply get them outta bed mornings, sans the cosmetics and immediately have them transported onto the set, and let the cameras roll.
I slightly prefer the untouched natural look, because in the true sense of the words, "what you see is who I am... and what I am is what you get."

09-15-11  04:16am - 4847 days #48
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Originally Posted by WeeWillyWinky:


I believe that a certain disciplined code of morality and ethical conduct is conducive to man's happiness, without the fear of hell or the hope of heaven. I DO NOT believe for one fragment of an iota of one single second that the Architect of the Cosmos would consign any living, feeling creature to an eternity of torment; in fact, I believe the concept of eternal damnation is THE most corrupt, repugnant, and thoroughly unGod-like idea ever to have been hatched and cultivated in a human mind. I say this from my heart(mind), and from my Love of God, and I am instantly suspicious of any person who could reconcile in their minds a Loving Creator with the traditional concept of Hell.

And alas! the Earth is swarming with such people, it is choked with them!

I have spoken with kind, gentle, decent people, people who would sooner shoo a moth out of a room than step on it, who are somehow able to believe in and worship a perfect, loving, merciful, forgiving, fatherly God, Whom, they also believe, is planning to torture millions & millions of human souls in fiery flames for all of eternity. How this can happen I do not know. I think it is a very sad state of affairs and speaks many negative volumes about the true moral character of my fellow species.

WWW


My last post could be construed as having spiritual or religious overtones, willy wink, but let me assure you none was intended.
But having said that, since you've opened the doors on a subject that's near and dear to my heart ie., the concept of a forever, awaiting torment laced with a blistering hell-fire and brimstone fate for those choosing not to accept or live under strict Biblical guidelines , or those not surrendering to alter calls coupled with life changes initiated usually by shouting, aggressive self-anointed evangelical Bible-thumpers who employ fear tactics to ring up sales for the Lord.

My impressionable years as a youth was largely taken up in that kind of invironnment, growing up with parents who dedicated themselves to following in the footsteps of our Lord.
Those years weren't too kind to me, living day=to=day in steadfast fear I'd stepped over the line, for which I'd then one day face judgement and consequently cast into a lake of fire.
I was well into adulthood before mercifully being instilled with reasoning, and questioning the validity of such an unfathomable destiny.

But you said it best, willy, from which I could identify with every minute shred. Too bad your wisdom wasn't around when I really needed it....... at about age twelve. Edited on Sep 15, 2011, 01:52pm

09-14-11  09:50pm - 4848 days #46
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Originally Posted by WeeWillyWinky:



I will be around this forum for quite some time yet, at least until Khan, in his disciplined civility and calm wisdom, tosses me out on my panty-clad noggin!

that's all for now.





First to you messmer.....
Gotta say you've scored again by parlaying a thread about being down-in-the-dumps because of your Mojo going AWOL, where, like most of your threads, have taken root at the top of the forum list as it continues to draw respectable numbers.

That effort also has produced another departed figure who, after turning the tables on porn, bidding Porn Users site by-by, havin' repented, cleansed, and renouncing our bread an' butter here as eminating from the bowels of Hell .... who's thankfully graced our little abode with a revisit, where once again we're regaled with his wit and magnificient prose.
WeWillieWinky, glad'ta see'ya dude ......lets not be a stranger.

BTW, Willie..(think about it)..The volume you rendered in this recent post would've cost you a fortune for the same therapeutic value you'd of gotten from a srink......and as a bonus you're amonst friends and more likely to come off feelin' a damned site better.

09-12-11  07:09pm - 4850 days #9
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by Denner:


A half hour with her is about $200
...


Pity......
In the flesh, for $200 or more, most likely sheathed with a condom, a John ejeculating a single load can have the starlet for half an hour -- a couple hundred light and only a memory to show for it.

On the other "hand" -- natural forces on ready with a throbbing proclivity to visual stimuli -- that would-be John via the internet can have her all night for pocket change.

Memories are good..... but also nostalgic.

09-06-11  11:40pm - 4856 days #38
graymane (0)
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First off, my Northern friend, I want to join the others who're expressing good tiding for you upon mojo's early return. For the happiness he/it instills, I think a big homecoming hug and vigorous "handshake" for Mojo is clearly in order.

Relating to the old adage: "absence makes the heart grow fonder" ...can we also say: absence makes Mojo grow as well?
I agree with squirrel ....namely saying our waning lust needs a break now and then. He's right as rain.

Also, revisting your stuff that's known to work for you is a smart idea.....Viola! Things are lookin' up.

Libido now charged, Back to takin' care of business ...Eureka! WE HAVE THE POWER!

Nice to bask again in Wee-willie's eloquent prose.... I've missed it.

which spurs a like reminder:.....lately I haven't seen anything from Mistress Kent.... is there some reason she's disappeared off the radar? Edited on Sep 07, 2011, 05:38am

09-04-11  05:24pm - 4858 days #3
graymane (0)
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Would love to help you, JB ......but I'm afraid my cultural interest never got past the names of the _fraternities I partyed with.

However, In my youth I had naughty flashes whenever I viewed a replica Of the Mona Lisa ....you suppose that has some cultural merit?

But seriously.........

I don't share this with but a select few, JB.....But I'll Tell'ya what.... the next time I'm drawn into a blissfully deep trance with the beautiful but disincarnate Djabenusiri, who's an ancient 3100 BC – 3100-2950: The First and second dynasty who ruled Egypt, I'll try and get you some answers from her.
Hell, when her "spirit's" up, I'm showered with nifty little nuggets of her wisdom
Should be a piece of cake, my friend.

09-01-11  06:32pm - 4861 days #26
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by jberryl69:


That's EXACTLY what I'd tell him Mess. Dr./Patient information is protected, so wtf do you care. He's suppose to help you have a quality of life and if porn be it on the sexual front then why not tell him! At your age who gives a hoot what he thinks.


The man's got some savvy points there, Sir M.
Havin' a sibling who's a bona fied Doc, He ought'a know.

I hasten to add that My Primary Physician's a female. An' the lady is a drop-dead-gorgeous, stacked-to-the-nines MD.....completely at-ease and speaking freely and comfortable about dealing with my urological and sexual health issues.

However, we draw the line when I'm needing a digital prostate exam.

08-31-11  10:36pm - 4862 days #22
graymane (0)
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Hey, partner....let me remind you you're still nipping at my heels on age, but I definitely feel your pain.
Must be something in the air, cuz I've been experiencing a tad of the same problems too lately....so don't feel like the Lone-Stranger.

Let me give you a friendly tip:
Although many guys laugh at the thought of male sex "toys" or devices geared to "pump-up" the action....they really shouldn't cast it as a joke 'till they've given them a try.

One of the few things my deceased father bequeathed to me that wasn't passed on to, and of no use to his youthful harem of girlfriends, was an expensive penis enhancer.
I found that with a little creativity I could get all kinds of wonderful things to happen using that damned thing.

Without belaboring the point, The male adult market -- and even with the help of a health provider, at our age, through a prescription or other mediums, there's a vararity of stuff out there that'll wake up one's libido.....nuff said.
So get on the saddle, Sir Messmer....and ride, ride, ride.

08-28-11  04:24pm - 4865 days #597
graymane (0)
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Originally Posted by jberryl69:


Whew!! - thought you were talking about Andy Warhol's Frankenstein. Glad to see you didn't wash away Gray.


Always a treat getting post-replies pinned from thee.
Your's, jBerry, could be termed as an avant-garde equipped mentality, from which at times presents some thought-provoking stuff -- albiet sometimes kind'a hard to reach.

Thanks for your kind thoughts concerning my survival.
Like dandruff, I guess fate simply kept me around to continue gettin' into people's hair.

08-28-11  02:12pm - 4865 days #594
graymane (0)
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Hollow minds, abhorrent vision, and merciless hands, as is a skewed sense of justice, will seemingly always be at the helm of leadership mandated by these butchers who's goons appear to be servents of a never-ending warpted philosophy.

Noted here my thoughts from the latter post by lk2fireone.

08-28-11  11:40am - 4865 days #18
graymane (0)
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It's early Sunday afternoon, and, I'm happy to report, after spending most of my weekend in a local shelter, The news couldn't be better.
After being kept on edge with dire predictions and warnings form virtually every TV weather media during the approach of this monster, it's visit produced no more than recording-breaking torrents of rain and down-graded strong winds.
Power, thankfully, wasn't interrupted in my area and the flooding never reached my back yard. On this perfect, warm and sunny day, I walked into a house still completely intact, with only the outside exterior lightly smattered with leaves and such.

AN' I GOTTA SAY.......

What a great bunch of guys!
as well, of course, including our UK lady of unequal feminine endowments, and whose every word is golden -- Mistress (Lady) Kent.

I'd be very hard-pressed to find, declare, or muster the depth of appreciation and gratitude I have for those of you whose posts (herewith)-- expressing concern and well wishes appear on this thread.

So....here's a declaration I know you'll understand:


08-25-11  08:56pm - 4868 days Original Post - #1
graymane (0)
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On Saturday, when many of you are hopefully enjoying a clear day, sunny skies, mild wind, and generally close to perfect weather conditions, Graymane will be nervously looking out of his windows, viewing debris of every discription whizzing by, propelled airborne and on a horozontal sweep as the high wind grabs everything in it's path.
Irene, exepected to be the most deadly harricane projected to ever strike our shores, is inexorably now working it's way to the resort-Coastal Carolinas, packing fury as it carves it's way onwards to our Tidewater Virginia.

We're on an Eastern-Coastal path, affectionatly known as "Hurricane Ally" -- so I've seen my share of them.

BUT.....this one scares the hell out'a me. It's got all the structual elements of growing stronger and reported to be a robust and healthy storm.

So, my friends .... down power lines, structural damage, heavy loss of folage, trees and anything else standing in Irene's way, all are gonna be fair game and our fate for this weekend.

I expect power won't be restored until about two weeks, meaning my desktop will be on hiatus for awhile.
Assuming I have the good luck of a home still standing after Erene's upcoming, weekend visit......all I can say is I hope to see'ya when all is "blown over."

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