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Post History:
Wittyguy (0)
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| 451-500 of 1139 Posts | < Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 9 | Page 10 | 11 | 13 | 15 | 17 | 22 | 23 | Next Page > |
| 01-25-10 04:34pm - 5444 days | #4 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:55pm | |
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| 01-20-10 04:08pm - 5449 days | #98 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Yeah, I just don't get the Australians. However, one would think the Republican party will be holding Australia up as a model for the world in about 5 years when after all this censoring takes full effect the Australians will suddenly find and arrest all the child porn pervs, people will realize they've been wasting their time with porn and "R" rated movies and devote their new found leisure time to world peace and economic development. However, I guess since the Aussie's still have legalized prostitution and still allow abortions that we're not going to get enough Repulcians to move there. With the discussion in the "Does Google in/out of China Matter?" thread about how the Chinese are trying internet espionage in order to plant secret trojan horse programs into all sorts of systems (not just computers but anything that relies on computer programming) why are the Aussies stopping with R rated movies and porn. For example, the Chinese have just come out a policy whereby they'll be monitoring all of it's citizens text messages in order to root out pornography. Everyone knows porn isn't the problem in text messages unless the Chinese know how to txt rly hot prn, rather it's about government control and political censortship. In any case, why aren't the Aussie's monitoring the text messages of all people under 18 lest they be exposed to lurid jottings, links to internet porn, and quotes from R rated movies? Once a government gets into running and dictating censorship rules it becomes hard to leave because 1) It's an admission that goverment (aka some important elected officials) made a mistake; and 2) You've created a bureacracy to handle censorship which then strives to justify it's existence and increase it's budget. Admitting you're wrong and curtailing your expenses when you really don't have to are two things most people find hard to do. Expect the Aussies to continue leading the charge into censorship in the near future. | |
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| 01-20-10 03:45pm - 5449 days | #7 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:51pm | |
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| 01-14-10 02:48pm - 5455 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:50pm | |
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| 01-13-10 03:12pm - 5456 days | #5 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:48pm | |
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| 01-13-10 03:03pm - 5456 days | #19 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:49pm | |
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| 01-13-10 10:40am - 5457 days | #16 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:49pm | |
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| 01-05-10 12:08pm - 5464 days | #3 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Ah, I've been waiting for this to start happening. As noted in the "Free Speech and Porn" Thread, other countries routinely require age verification before allowing access to adult sites over cell phones. Since there is no central age verification clearing house, most businesses use credit cards since not many minors have their own cards. Sounds like some of this may finally be trickling down into the standard internet world here in the US. In any case, I would be leery if the card processor is not well known the same way I would be leery of signing up for a pay site. They'll still have access to your card info even though they're not charging you. I'll leave it up to you to make the final decision not knowing the name of the card clearing company. | |
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| 01-04-10 04:42pm - 5465 days | #13 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 19, 2023, 01:22pm | |
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| 01-04-10 12:15pm - 5465 days | #6 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:48pm | |
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| 12-30-09 07:59pm - 5470 days | #201 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:47pm | |
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| 12-30-09 05:16pm - 5470 days | #94 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
In post number 51 above, I talked about the government of India passing a pretty harsh law that pretty much criminalizes the publishing, transmitting or viewing of porn on the internet. The effects of that law are now starting to occur. Newspapers are reporting that major search engines are blocking searches for items like "sex" from taking place with computer IP addresses coming from India. Yahoo has gone further and banned sex searches in India, Hong Kong, Singapore and Korea (even though I don't think Korea has banned internet porn but I'm not sure). All the big search companies are doing this in an effort to avoid potential criminal prosecution and fines. Here's the Wittyguy take on this. I understand why the big boys bowing to Indian pressure to comply with the law since India is one of the fastest growing on-line communities in the world. That's just too much business to walk away from. However, like the Chinese and other repressive governments that call for search engines to censor politically sensitive material, at some point you have to draw the line both from a political perspective (the State of India) and a business ethics line (the search engines). First, as for business ethics, I pretty much take the position that when it comes to international search engine business, the only thing that talks is money. Google and Yahoo already self censor in China in order to keep their foot in the door in that economy. If your nation's economy is big enough, they'll sell out to stay there. The problem is that search engines' start to automatically censor other countries by accident or censor people using questionable IP addresses. At some point, doesn't it just become easier to censor a lot of stuff than to risk being sued? I mean, who's really going to care, right? At that point, big business has turned into big brother and you don't even have any recourse other than to find a new search engine ... if you even know you're searches are being filtered. Also, once companies get used to gaming the sytem as opposed to letting algorithems run the show, it makes it easier to exploit a company through blackmail or bribery (either illegally or legally by passing national interest business laws) to alter it's search patterns. Second, as I've discussed ad naseum before, all these types of laws do is cost the government, and therefore the taxpayors, more money. The proverbial line being crossed here is one of political bonus points winning out over hidden costs. Like the savvy people living under repressive regimes, people start to buy IP protocol hiding software and services to surf as they please. Next, the Indian intelligence services are going to find that they can't adequately monitor Pakistani terrorist threats very well because there are all sorts of web communications from India are being coded or hidden. Thus, the Indian's have to start spending more rupee's on more computers and employees to track the people hiding themselves just to look at puntang. Morality has a price tag, only here it just comes in the form of ever growing "black budgets" from intelligence agencies who have to work overtime to sort the porn oglers from the Osama's. Third, passing this law changes nothing and probably accelerate the law of unintended consequences. People will just use secondary search engines to find their virtual booty; they will use virtual credit cards that leave no paper trail for the police to find (thereby getting people used to hiding their assets and money overseas ... how long before they use their knowledge and comfort in doing this to start sheltering money from the Indian tax agency?); they will encrypt their computers (again making law enforcement/intelligence more expensive for the tax payor); they will drive the Indian porn community deeper underground (probably making the industry less safe in terms of HIV testing and ripping off or exploiting performers); and it will deprive young people in the biggest country in the world from learning about sex education on their own (if you can't search for "sex" then I doubt you can search for "sex ed" or "how to use a condom"). Sex is such a basic human motivation that I find it laughable that so much time and effort is spent by nations trying to keep their citizen's from looking at it. Hello, porn has been around since the invention of stick figure drawings a few hundred thousand years ago. Do you think it's going to go away now that you said people can't readily look at it? If people really knew the collateral damage these laws cause in terms of more tax money spent, goverments spying on their citizens and collateral censorship I think the average citizen would be thinking twice. | |
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| 12-30-09 04:05pm - 5470 days | #10 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Nice one. LOL. | |
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| 12-30-09 12:02pm - 5470 days | #7 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
I dig it; Paiza's first post here, probably done with the intention of fucking with people's minds, and it has been a true sucess in that regard. Either that or he's trying to get himself on the short list for next year's Forum Awards (sorry Paiza, you're a bit too clever for you're own good). I do like it though because the post is sort of like porn haiku and it's up to you, the reader, to finish the poem. | |
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| 12-28-09 02:52pm - 5472 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:43pm | |
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| 12-22-09 02:11pm - 5478 days | #2 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Here are some threads titles from earlier discussions about video joining programs: "More software - video editing"; "Nifty computer programs you use"; "Media Players - once again"; and, "Software and videos". It seems to me there was another thread that got into this topic better than these 4 but I can't seem to locate it just doing a quick search on the forum. | |
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| 12-21-09 01:06pm - 5479 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Since I started the earlier "2009 Upcoming Movie Thread" and we're pretty much done with the year, I guess it's time to kill that one and start a more generically titled thread of the same. Edited on Apr 19, 2023, 01:21pm | |
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| 12-21-09 12:52pm - 5479 days | #23 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:43pm | |
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| 12-18-09 11:26am - 5483 days | #24 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:55pm | |
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| 12-17-09 06:03pm - 5483 days | #36 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:52pm | |
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| 12-17-09 12:37pm - 5483 days | #21 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:42pm | |
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| 12-17-09 12:26pm - 5483 days | #2 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:41pm | |
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| 12-16-09 08:08pm - 5484 days | #14 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:42pm | |
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| 12-15-09 04:44pm - 5485 days | #3 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
There was some earlier discussion about the problems amateur sites have with supposedly user submitted photos (Are the amatuer cam sites playing with fire? thread). So, yes there would be incredibly huge legal issues if this site hacked people's online profiles and posted their stuff although I wouldn't be surprised if some of them did take viewer submissions, it just sounds so much cooler and edgier to say they stole their content. I have no idea where they find all the chicks to submit the crap they seem offer on these amateur sex sites. From what little I've seen at tgp sites, the quality and quantity is pretty iffy. I would save my money unless you're really into the voyeur thing. Edited on Dec 15, 2009, 04:48pm | |
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| 12-15-09 10:53am - 5486 days | #15 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:54pm | |
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| 12-14-09 07:55pm - 5486 days | #6 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Turboshaft in "How would your porn stash score on a review" thread - "My organizational skills would probably destroy Google in a matter of seconds." Wittyguy responds - "We shall call this the "Turboshaft Porn Principle". The lower your personal score is, the better your stash." Toadsith in "Masturbation is the cure for Hay Fever" thread - "I wonder if the Weather Channel will start playing porn on high pollen count days. After all, it would be a good public service to help the public service themselves." Wittyguy in "Would you give a monogrammed gift ..." thread (discussing bad names celebrities give their kids) - "At least you don't hear about pornstars naming their kids D.P., Hardon, Fluffer, Drooler (oops ;), or Gaper." Turboshaft in "Paysites - economic/longterm ..." thread - "I think porn is like food in the way we can so easily bite off way more than we can chew" Mr. Smut in "Watching Porn in Public" thread - "... people are inhaling secondhand smut." Turboshaft later adds "Next thing we know there are going to be surgeon general warnings on DVDs and home pages. Something like "WARNING: Porn viewing causes blindness, forearm fatigue, hard drive failure, and may complicate marriage." Wittyguy in "Star Trek" thread - "Yeah, anyone who wore a red shirt in the original trek pretty much was doomed to not come back from the mission. You might have figured that Star Fleet Command would have picked up on that and dressed them in pink or some other color aliens find less palatable ... Then again, it wouldn't have been Star Trek unless Kirk boldly went no man had been before ... and I bet he got the bizarre cases of VD that made McCoy a legend in the medical journals of his century." Squirrel in "Baseball season begins ..." thread - "I may not count cos I'm a brit ...." Lk2fireone replies "That's right, you don't count." Squirrel, same thread, recounts the rules of cricket - "The bowler is patted on the back by his team mates who congratulate him for hitting the batsman in the rib cage. They tell him next time to aim for the testicles. It's a real gentleman's game." Ragingbuddhist in "Pubic Hair?" thread - "Bring Back the Bush! (and I don't mean the G.W. variety)." Drooler later added, regarding shaving products - "I'd say it's less harmful that a lot of the Big Pharma crap that gets advertised on TV these days! It's like, "Ask your doctor if dying in agony from taking this shit is right for you!" Wittyguy in "Panties on or off?" thread - "Seeing some girl just sitting there petting her pelvis through her grundies or yanking on her g-string like it's a slot machine arm isn't exactly high art." Pat362 in "Boob-jobs" thread - "I'm curious to know how a breast with an implant feels in the mouth. Does it feel like your eating 3 day old jello?" Wittyguy in "czechpornostars.com" thread about the Famous Yellow Couch - "Perhaps it should be re-acronymed as TFYC for "the famous yellow couch". That way, we can commission The Village People to come out of retirement and do a song about it ("You can go banging on the TTTT-FFFF-Y-C"). Drooler can dress up in his favorite cowboy outfit and feel right at home singing along with the oldies updated ;)" Wittyguy (same thread later discusses a new product) - "KUM-BOOM: It gets the jizz out!" Ragingbuddhist in "Webmaster Rankings?" thread (responding to webmaster Riffy saying "I'm up to my neck in work just now") - "Send some of your girls my way - I'd be happy to take ease that burden of yours. (I think I had to put it that way - Share the load didn't quite sound right...)" JD1961 in" Videos/Crystal Player"thread - "That's the great thing about software---it doesn't rust!" Drooler in "Did you see the latest fetish?"thread - "Nose picking! When a guy does it, it's gross. But when a hot babe does it, different story!! Women are amazing! At least the niche has generated a "flicker" of excitement and interest in "NTM." What's next? Booger swapping?" Turboshaft in "How important is a cum shot?" thread - "Try and make it natural, as if was going to happen, not only after the guy nearly sprains his wrist in the 'spontaneity' of the moment." Lk2fireone in "Do you think people having more sex ..." thread (about William Shatner) - "The greatest love of all is his self-love. Does he masturbate? Every time he opens his mouth, I think he's wrapping it around his penis." Drooler in "Topless in NY" thread (regarding a law about women being able to go topless) - "It's been the "breast-kept" secret in years!" PinkPanther in "Anyone use Bridge to Look at Porn?" thread (discussing the "Bridge" download program) - "Bridge? - no. Checkers for me" Badandy in "Generation gap" thread - "Pubic hair is kinda like having a bra that never comes off." Wittyguy in "Sex on Your Cell" thread - "I assume most of the consumers for cell phone porn are those who flaunt their youth to world by annoying the Geritol crowd with their 'too much information' phone chats held at hog calling contest decibel levels in public" Squirrel added later "I'm just not interested in something that small (now where have I heard that before)?" Ragingbuddhist in "Where on earth do they find these girls" thread regarding how sites find new talent - "Aisle 10 at the Piggly Wiggly and Hertz Rent-a-Slut" Capn in "For Breast Lovers ..." thread describing his size chart vs. vocabulary for breasts -"Titlets : Where are they?" Wittyguy in "Computer Setup" thread - "No wonder the Taliban have laws against porn, they don't have enough technology to actually store it." JayG in "Abbywinters office raided ..." thread - "Remember the old saying, 'Most women don't like prostitution because it lowers the price...." JD 1961 in "DRM protected ..." thread (responding to the question "What does DRM mean?") - "It means I don't enjoy the site, even for $1." Badandy400 in "The ultimate female porn actress ..." thread - "I am planning on being a dirty old bastard. 1 bag of Viagra in one hand, my cock in the other, and my face planted in a 20 year old woman's breasts......then I wake up and realize my cock has not been hard in 15 years, Viagra has been outlawed, and the only breasts I ever see are hanging out of the bottom of the shirt of the 95 year old hag next to me in the nursing home." Turboshaft in "If You Could Have an Action Figure of a Porn Star" thread - "Cytherea (one of porn's top squirters). Her action figure would be like a Super Soaker .... Plus you can also use it to water your Ron Jeremy Chia Pet." Same thread he later adds, "I wonder what the Chinese think when they are making Americans' cheap sex toys. Maybe if they are in a good mood they don't put so much lead in the mix." Wittyguy in "Cleaning LCD Screens" thread (responding to the thread title) - "I believe the manufacturer suggested cleaning method would be to make sure the screen is plugged in and hop in the shower with it for some "electrifying" results." To which Turboshaft replied "Yeah, how else are you going to clean both the inside and outside?" RagingBuddhist added "I use a belt sander and brake fluid. Works wonders." Toadsith in "Fake Breasts!" thread (on why he sometimes watches vids featuring models with implants) - "I'm at most watching them be fondled or more like watching them not move much while the attached model is being plowed by the woodsman of choice. Everything is overdone, fake and repetitive, but I still occasionally eat at McDonald's because it is fast, easy and gets the job done." Lk2fireone in "first anniversary"thread regarding Toadsith's extended forum absence - "Is Toadsith like the Ghost of Christmas Past, somebody who sticks in our memory but was never really there?" Ragingbuddhist in "Informal Survey" thread (responding to if any PU'ers find pantyhose sexy) - "don't find them sexy - but they're invaluable when robbing banks." Capn's joke from "Italian Friends on the Bus" thread - "A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: 'Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.' The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly. 'In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives. 'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi '!" (the friggin' end :) Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 08:05pm | |
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| 12-14-09 07:34pm - 5486 days | #5 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
As usual, we conclude the ceremonies with various quips and quotes from the forum that I found amusing over this last year. Also, please be kind and help home other PU members who may have passed out after choking on the week old Chinese buffet, gotten distracted by the donkey show in the parking lot or can't find their own underwear in the coatcheck. Please don't file any lawsuits until after the holidays as my attorney is out of town 'til then. Also, keep an eye out for when Tiger Woods returns to the PGA tour and he's sporting a sweet "PU Forum Awards" logo on his cap ... 'cause you know I can afford his asking price come then. Keep on posting and remember ... be afraid -- be very afraid of the 2010 PUey's! ___________________________________________________________ TheSquirrel in the thread "Is it time for a forum upgrade" thread regarding duplicate posts suddenly cropping up on PU - "I've been repeating myself all day. I said I've been repeating myself all day. I'm staring to think I'm Foghorn Leghorn. Fix that bug, I said I said fix that bug." Lk2fireone in "To review or not to review" thread - "I always figure that my reviews are the best ones written here, since I'm the only one whose opinion is worth thinking about. I think my reviews should have won a Nobel prize for literature by this time, except for the stigma that I've been writing about porn sites." Wittyguy in "The 'Politics' Thread" thread - "According to Khan, the PU health infirmary is filling up with cases of temporary blindness, hand cramps, tunnel carpal syndrome and euro snatch fever." Riffy (Scottish PU member) in "New Star Trek Movie" thread - "The perfect Hollywood film would have zombies and dinosaurs from the future battling with aliens. Scantily clad ladies would make the occasional appearance. Stuff would get blown up. Robots would run riot too." Wittyguy replied "Aren't you describing Glasgow on a Saturday night? With as much as Scots drink I figure that's what they're seeing half the time anyway." Turboshaft in "Rules for Anal Sex in Porn" thread (discussing the rule that double anal is just gay sex) - "Could two dongs make a right here?" Iknoporn in "New Avatar" thread - "Who says cold weather makes it small?", Wittyguy responds - "If that were the case wouldn't the Canadian's and Russian's be the focal point of all those big cock sites instead of the black guys? (GreenlandGoliaths and EskimoCreamPies would probably be the pinnacle of said genre ;) Badandy400 in "Reviewers vs. Collectors" thread - "Spaghettioes is like porn, it should not be messed with." Wittyguy in "Rules for Anal Sex in Porn" thread - "Farting in real life can be amusing (God knows I got a Ph.D. in it) ...". Turboshaft replied - "Does this mean we have to call you Dr. Wittyguy from now on?" Squirrel "Perversion Anyone?" thread - "Oh god, we lost the British car industry, now we don't even have a decent spanking site we can call our own. Ragingbuddhist in "What makes your favorite porn star ..." thread - "I really don't have a favorite - but the ones I do like it's because they fuck for cameras : - )" Wittyguy "Shooting Porn in Public" thread - "I can think of a lot of people who have good self esteem about themselves and their bodies without having been raised in (shift to high pitched Eric Cartmen voice) "some goddamn hippie nudist colony". Cybertoad in "Gonzo" thread discussing pubic hair - "I mean I do not want to have to break out a weedeater to get to the pond. But I also do not want desert sand in the Sahara either". Reply by Messmer - "I remember reading all those smutty books in my misguided youth where the women always had a "luxuriant" bush and it was meant as a compliment." Wittyguy "Newbie Question" thread (responding to Squirrel's quip about "security penguins") - "Does that mean that Messmer's avatar is going to show up and hump my leg? BadAndy400 in "What makes your favorite pornstar ..." thread (responding to Messmer losing a hard drive of porn) - "It is a terrible thing to lose that much porn, trust me I have done it before. The porn gods [will] strike you down and punish you with erectile dysfunction." Later, Turboshaft added (on Messmer surpassing Badandy's porn collection) - "Unless you meant to say you just ordered a pallet of 1 TB external hard drives (which I am pretty sure is how badandy orders them :), I don't think you're going to catch up to him." Drooler in "Models/girls - and acting" thread (referencing his and Denner's same outlook) - "Go ahead. Say it: "Drenner" (or "Dooler")". Wittyguy replied - "Twins separated at birth but brought together by their lust for boobs and butts (the Double B's)." To which Pat362 added - "And like twins they both seem to have a fascination with canines" Mr. Smut in "Burger King Butts" thread - "Also I would like to know what differs a Burger King Butt from a Mc Donald's Butt. I'd expect the second one to be less tasty ;-)" to which Ragingbuddhist replied - "A Burger King butt is grilled, not fried." Drooler later replied - "Actually, I think there should be a fast-food restaurant called "Booty Queen!" There could be standard sandwiches like "The Big Crack" and the "Fish-Smell Filet." And of course the "Tiny Ass" vegetarian option. And when you want to super-size it, you have to say, "Make mine All Jiggly (TM)!" Drooler in "Thoughts on Fisting?" thread - "I've long considered many a porn star and/or model to have what in multiple intelligence theory is called a high bodily-kinesthetic intelligence. So fisting from that standpoint fisting is just plain fucking smart." BadAndy400 in "Please help me find the first porn movie I ever watched." thread - "Try going to your moms house and try looking behind the air vent in your old bedroom.... you might have hid it there!" Drooler in "Sites with Pictures of Actual Women" thread - "Yeah, "No Shellac at In the Crack." Hey, that's kinda catchy." Cybertoad in "Dirty talk"thread - "wow $9.00 for a 53mb file, hmmm picdude that is very expensive. You could get a BJ on th street corner for 10.00, plus crabs, herpes, genital worts, possible your picture on COPS. Plus the waiting to see if your penis falls off in 30 days or less." Drooler - His signature line for forum posts in November - "Don't be a sexist. Bitches hate that." Wittyguy in "What is good and bad taste ..." thread (referring to the misspelling of "erotic" as "erptic") - "Erptic" is one of those words that sounds foreign and if it actually were a word I'm sure would translate into something cool like "Arabic for the 'love eyes of a camel'" or "Ukrainian word describing the explosive combination of Mentos and cheap Vodka" or "Bulgarian in origin, referencing the sport of nude cow tipping". Toadsith responded with - "it could be a simple descriptor used by Mongolian tribesman that means "Needs Velcro". Squirrel in "Solo girl 'non-nude' sites ..?" thread as to why anyone would join one - "To me it is just silly. A bit like paying the price of a 4 month round the world cruise and getting a weekend in Frinton-On-Sea." Drooler in "Vaginal Queif" thread - "Vag farts can smell nice. Ass farts never do, unless they're my own." WeeWillyWinky in "Post your desktop" thread - "guess I better not post my desktop. I'd hate for people to see my "granny-panties" folder, or worse yet, my "Asian midget female wrestlers with legs in casts and 'my face is up here ^' t-shirts folder" Drooler in a previous signature/tag line of his - "Big cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone." Ragingbuddhist in "Free gift to users with 100 posts ..." thread (replying to a slam on his new avatar) -"That was feel the rage, not feed the rage!" Lk2fireone in "External harddrive" thread (responding about a guy who had a hard drive in his artificial finger) - "If he sticks his finger up his ass, would that be considered an external or internal hard drive?" Ragingbuddhist in "Quantity vs. Quality" thread (responding to Stalin being a PU porn hound if were alive) - "Would Stalin prefer Evil Angel or Wicked? Inquiring minds want to know". Wittyguy replies "His PU tag line would read sort of like a McDonald's sign "20 million citizens killed and counting". Definitely not someone you'd want to flame on." Drooler in "Generation gap" thread - "There might be a "degeneration gap." It takes a while to become a bona fide dirty old man." Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 08:04pm | |
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| 12-14-09 07:34pm - 5486 days | #4 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Almost done here folks! Next up we have the "HONEY, I SHRUNK THE FORUM AWARD" going to our psychologist in residence, Exotics4me! The self professed king of OCD was on fine display this past year as he churned out post after post of such length, detail and psychological rigor that some readers almost cared what he had to say. Not only was his previously analyzed output in the "Fake Breasts" thread "awe" inspiring (as in "awe shit, here he goes again"), his discourses in "The psychology of porn actresses" and his nerdishly detailed comparison of Teendreams and 1ByDay in "Which one, teen dreams or ..." induced masturbation complexes (like big pimpin', apparently it ain't easy for everyone), man-boob sensitivity and a strong subconscious lust for their mother in other contributors. Freud would be left beating his head, and his meat, after seeing what his profession has devolved into. For his prize, Exotics4me gets a freudian "manzier" to try and contain his DD sized compulsion to "right the ship" ... when in fact everyone else is driving a car. He also wins a set of Rorschach prints (which are secretly nothing more than a bunch of fuzzy nude Eve Angelina pictures) and a Vulcan mind meld on his ass courtesy of Spock to get him to realize that it's just illogical for a bunch of men to do anything but invoke the spirit of Homer Simpson by sitting still, staring blissfully off into space and drooling on themselves when the word "boobs" comes up. The "MR. CREOSOTE AWARD" goes to BadAndy400 for his posts in "Why do girls gag themselves when giving blow jobs?". For those of you not familiar with the Monty Python movie "The Meaning of Life", I present Mr. Creosote and the barf-fest scene, via you-tube, here. Already a risque topic to begin with, Badandy drives it right over the cliff by stating: "Throat banging a woman until she pukes all over herself is not typically the kind of thing you ask a woman to do on the first date". Apparently Badandy is a suave and tactful kind of guy who waits until the second date before asking some girl to smoke his vomit comet. Not willing to leave well enough alone, he adds: "Vomiting is one of those thing that for me can be really erotic, or really gross. It just depends on how it is done.... I have a scene somewhere of a good looking girl deepthroating this dude and vomiting repeatedly. This scene is okay because the girl was into it and made it seem sexy somehow." Still not done, Badandy subjects us to this final tasty tidbit: "Remember, it is still food even if it comes back up, in which case it is still fun to play with. Once it starts in the intestines it stops being food and is reclassified as poopy. Poopy is bad! Poopy is meant for flushing or throwing during riots, that is ALL!" Really BadAndy? Is that "ALL"? All anyone can say in response to that one is "TMI": most people translate that as "too much information" although it can also mean "three mile island" (the results are toxic to everyone downwind in either case). I can't honestly say that I've heard women talk about how "sexy" it is when some dude barfs while eating them out ... my guess is if that happens it's more about her lack of personal hygiene statement than it is an expression of love. And you wonder why the mother ship left you behind? Factoring in what we know of his idea of a good time along with his method of controlling unruly behavior, the next time Badandy throws a big party he shouldn't be surprised if no one shows because "My toaster needs waxing" or "Sorry, I found this dead skunk and I'm just dying to eat it's ass for dinner". For his prize, Badandy gets a can of Spaghettios (eaten and "reprocessed" by some "hot chick") with meatballs (processed out the other end) and his very own podcast series where he "dishes out" on how to wine and dine the ladies. He also gets a lifetime membership to the on-line dating site "Girls Who Want To Auto-Asphyxiate Guys on a First Date". We conclude the awards portion of the ceremonies with the dubious "MR. IRRELEVANT AWARD". This title, usually given to the last person taken in the NFL draft, goes to person with the least interesting thread.. This year's winner is Drooler for his thread "Models Who Project a Feeling of Instant Familiarity" (not worth a link). No replies; not even a pity post. Apparently most people assumed that kind of familiarity involves a rub-a-dub-tug session with themselves, which didn't require any direction from Drooler. Other PUers have had zero replies to threads but they're usually are newbies recently escaped from mental asylums. He wouldn't have won but for his later thread on a similar topic ("Girls Who Have Improved Their Sex Appeal") which got 2 measly replies. Drooler, the girls who improve their sex appeal are the ones who take their clothes off! No need for discussion here. Just put down the keyboard and leave the threads to the professionals. His prize is a large petrified forum turd that Khan found sweeping up after a recent spam attack ... at least Drooler will have something from the forum that has withstood the test of time. I'll also toss in a double redundancy double irrelevant winner for this prize going out to Whiteflag for his thread "I am looking for a particular music (song?) that appeared in a Latina porn movie" that got one pity post. WTF?!? Wouldn't just putting some polka record on the turntable and cranking up the speed dial induce the same level of nausea you're looking for, Whiteflag? His prize is a sombrero clad Austin Powers doll that plays Mexican t.v. game show music while endlessly repeating the phrase "Does this make you horny, baby?". Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 10:14pm | |
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| 12-14-09 07:34pm - 5486 days | #3 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
We continue on with the awards: Once again, laughing in the face of hypocrisy, the winner of this years "HILARIOUS POST OF THE YEAR" (to now be renamed "THE ANNUAL WITTYGUY FUCK YOU, I RULE AWARD") is Wittguy for his posts in the thread "Mindset List for 2013". Unable to separate fantasy from reality, Wittyguy spewed out a long and pointless list of factoids that truly displayed the functional idiocy of modern American youth ... along side the functional uselessness of most PUers except serving barbs on his humor harpoon. Never has so much medication been needed to calm a mind so small ... and never have so many PU members been on the wrong end of a single cluster-fuck. Honorable mentions also go out to the following: Wittyguy, for his post in "What I really want for Christmas this year", telling Santa what everyone around here needed for x-mas; Wittyguy for his response in "Name Calling" showing everyone how it's done right; Wittyguy for his "insightful" thread "Rule's for Anal Sex in Porn"; and last but not least, Wittyguy for his description of the perfect female porn star in "The ultimate female porn actress". His award? A Conan the Barbarian doll that responds to the question "What is best in life?" with the reply "To crush your fellow PU members, drive d'em before you and to hear da' lamentations of their women" along with a lifetime supply of "Ego Botox" (sold in suppository form only) and his avatar forever memorialized by being imprinted onto all Zimbabwe one dollar bills ... current exchange rate is $1 to $16 billion US. Our next award can only be described as truly disturbing. David19 takes home the "NIGHTMARE ON PU STREET AWARD" for his post in "What makes your favorite pornstar ...". For reasons only known only to God and his therapist, David19 decided to not only confess that his mother works as a nude web cam model but also that he sees her shows!!! Succumbing to temptation that normally rates a 1 on a scale to a million, David19 boldly goes beyond where most mortal men would be scratching their eyes out and praying that hell only is only as bad as having their genitals being eternally consumed by a wood chipper as opposed to watching their naked mom feed her personal slot machine. Even Jason and Freddy Krueger think this boy needs a sit down. For his prize, Daniel Radcliffe (of Harry Potter fame) will star as David19 in a play about a boy who goes nuts, strips naked and ... never mind, I guess Daniel's play was called Equus, not Oedipus. Instead David19 gets an State of Arkansas residency card that comes with all the privileges accorded to the citizens of that fine state (let your imagination run here... OK, that's far enough) and gets a job as the permanent punching bag/co-host on the Jerry Springer Show (with followup therapy on Dr. Phil). Next up is "THREAD OF THE YEAR" going to Atrapat for his thread "Sites that charge more in EUR than USD"! Normally this thread would not qualify as it originally came into existence in 2008. However, Atrapat's disgruntlement over billing processors that charge different membership fees for porn sites based upon where people live inspired numerous threads by Denner (big shock there), Squirrel, Mbaya, and others to take up the cause numerous times this year. All the talk is starting to drive a PU consensus that, like sites that use DRM, sites using regional pricing should be dinged on their PU review scores for allowing such practices. No one likes taking it in the ass while their neighbor across the street gets all the sweet poon for free. Hats off to Atrapat for shining light into assholes of those bastards taking a dump on us. For his prize, Atrapat gets free spelunking lessons, a home colonoscopy kit with instructional dvd, and an appearance an American Idol where he gets to wow us with his rendition of "Another somebody done somebody wrong song". Next in line is the "SATANIC VERSES AWARD" going to all those who vainly tried to contribute something to the "Fake Breasts" thread. All I can say is "Wow". Never have I seen so many galactic sized posts been written by so many sub-atomic sized minds. I read almost everything in this damn forum and I could not force myself to read more than half the posts without chewing my own leg off. Sure, things started off all fine but I challenge anyone to find anything more mind numbing than a bunch of middle aged porn dudes writing Ph.D. thesis sized posts on the relationship of women's self esteem and societal pressure as it relates to post feminist philosophy as that, in turn, relates to boob jobs. The topper was Exotics4me working himself into a foaming at the mouth OCD meltdown over his views and lashing out at everyone like; well, like a rabid boob-boon (a rare primate known for wildly throwing it's own feces at the mention of the word "boobs"). Disgruntled suicide hotline workers will be directing depressed callers to this thread for the cheap thrill of hearing gunshots going off on the other end of the line. Fraternities will require pledges to memorize passages from this thread as part of their hazing during "Hell Week". Most women who read this thread will immediately undergo double mastectomies in hopes of never having to think about the subject again and the women who don't will issue a "Fatwa" on all your asses for even going there. For all who contributed to this thread, your prize is coupon good for a free exorcism and (from the Dahli Lama himself) the gift that when you die, you will do so while peacefully asleep ... while the passengers in your car die screaming their heads off. The "THREADS GONE WILD AWARD" goes to all those who contributed to the ultimate display of topical degeneration in the "The ultimate female porn actress" thread. It started with Cybertoad asking for what people wanted in their ideal porn star while he was gone on vacation. What he saw when he came back was that his query quickly morphed into several farcical twists, to Pat362 raising the ugly specter of bestiality (followed by necrophilia), to discussions of whether zombie sex was really necrophilia and concluding with Badandy confessing his love of Spaghettios and a gross out version of "CSI Pornography". 'Nuff said ... at the least the topics never got to truly taboo subjects like bad mullets (is there a good kind?), the Back Street Boys, and sexual experiences with electric fences. Everyone who contributed to this thread gets a copy of the book "Effective Writing Skills: From to A to Z ... and back to L ... and then D but only if you skip the prime numbers in between" and an autographed copy of the porn parody movie entitled "Donkeys and Zombies and Orgies, Oh My!" (banned in all countries that have the technology to actually watch it; much like the PU forum itself). Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 07:54pm | |
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| 12-14-09 07:34pm - 5486 days | #2 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Oneman takes home the "WORKING STIFF HERO AWARD" for his thread "Tiny Teen Pass is Ripping Us Off ..."! Oneman exposed yet another unscrupulous site that used deceptive automatic upsell practices to charge his credit card. His words drove PU/TBP staff to ban all of that company's sites from here proving once again that "Even one little guy can make a big difference!" (I'm sure Oneman has that stitched on all his boxers). For his prize Oneman receives a free audio download featuring the sound of one hand clapping and a free membership to 'Maxi-Fatty Teen Pass' (they say bigger is better, right ... just think of this an automatic upgrade). Oneman deserves a thumbs up and if you haven't already, toss a "trust vote" his way. Although winners usually come from forum postings, the forum wasn't strong enough to contain this next winner. That's right, Pinche Kancun wins the "DARWIN / END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT AWARD"! Pinche managed all of two forum posts, peaking with "Man, screw this forum!! ..." before his loaded gun complex caused him to cock it and pull it. Pinche is more famously remembered for his biblical meltdown in response to a PU Poll question asking if members ever faked reviews (). I'm afraid only Pinche's words can adequately express his true feelings that inspired his epic post ... words like "SO FUCK THOSE POINTS IN THE ASS WITH A BROOMSTICK AND NO VASELINE!!" and "Watch me prove you, Khan, The Bad Man and anyone else wrong!! Oh it's on like Donkey Kong!!! KANKUN BOUT 2 PUT IN WORK!!! >:D" and "Squirrel Dawgy Dawg, I DON'T EVEN WANT THOSE POINTS BACK!! TO HELL WITH THOSE POINTS!!! All I want is show the Wrath of KANKUN!!! Fuck this untrust shit!! Watch me handle my business, DAWG!!!". After this graphic display of volatility, among many others in that post, Pinche self vaporized in an explosive burst of emoticons that nearly destroyed the time/space continuum. This outcome left researchers at the LHC (large hadron collider) rechecking the calibration of their accelerator magnets in hopes that they would avoid a similar result at their maximum energy outputs (still lower than Pinche's), thus saving the world from potential annihilation. Pinche's award, post mortem, is an autographed copy of the "Feeling Good Handbook for some post-life cognitive behavioral therapy. His corpse will star in an upcoming adaptation of "A Christmas Carol" where he plays the ghost of Nuclear Winter, showing the world how a little peace, love and understanding takes gets you no where; while going off like Dick Cheney on an LSD fueled chainsaw massacre of Senate democrats is the only true path to enlightenment. Khan gets an honorable mention for going beyond the call of duty and egging on this admittedly inevitable Vesuvian sized eruption in those poll responses. We take a short break from our prestigious awards ceremony now in order for people to fling themselves off the nearest bridge, re-swallow their stomach juices or just plain flee. While readers do this, I note that one of the things that I enjoy from the movies is at the end when the credits roll and the producers tell you how the characters turned out after the events from the movie. As such, I bring you the PU "WHERE ARE THEY NOW" list: Toadsith: Last years winner of "Posterchild of the Year" and "Thread of the Year", Toadsith apparently took me seriously when I suggested his prize was to hit the road to promote the virtues of porn literacy to America. Earlier this year he won the prestigious B.O.N.E. AWARD (Barack Obama Nobel-Prize Enigma Award)" which is handed out to the one person on the internet who gets everyone else excited just by showing up and saying something. Unfortunately, after running into legal problems in River City (here), Toadsith was temporarily in the witness protection program until his cover was blown for being "Mistress No. 38" in the Tiger Woods fiasco. Alas, Toadsith is still on the run, acting as the solo pilot of the PU Hindenberg Porn Literacy Project; guiding it over America in a constant state of mourning over the loss of his Patrick McGoohan avatar - refusing to admit that the recent tv mini-series remake of "The Prisoner" was better than the original. Rumor has it that he may have left his physical body behind, ascending into the ethereal ranks of high-tech Brahmans, his physical form reduced to an essence of Mountain Dew and stale pizza that emanates through cyberspace causing PU members to gush over his virtues and teenage computer nerds to sport wood for the first time. Cybertoad: First he's here, then he's gone, then he's back and now he's gone again, self publicizing each return and avatar change like it's the second coming. Cybertoad is currently the agent for Brett Favre. Squirrel: The cynical king of paranoid government conspiracies and unshakeable belief in the inherent corporate corruption of the PU business model, the Squirrel finally surrendered his posting prowess this September. Some say he just got too old and couldn't find his nuts any more. The truth behind his departure is that he learned his astrological sign was nothing more than an orbiting piece of space junk which caused him to bolt into oncoming traffic from sheer grief. You can find Squirrel's avatar as "Mr. June" in the upcoming calendar "Britain's Nastiest Road Kill". Shooterboo (sports an Oakland Raiders logo for his Avatar) and Nygiants03: Both are currently undergoing electro-shock therapy sessions in hopes that they find it in their heads to root for real football teams in the future. Roseman: One of our PU leading points members, last year he couldn't decide between buying a Mazda Rx8 or a Puegot convertible (here. Heeding no one's advice from the forum, he ended up getting a Ferrari, couldn't afford the insurance on it, crashed it, lost the lawsuit, and now lives in a van down by the river and gives motivational speeches to teens about how important it is to listen to what unknown and anonymous people tell you to do in porn chat rooms ... especially the girls. Darealkid: Da'kid was the 2008 winner of the Darwin Award now claimed by Pinche. Da'kid reports that things are going well for him now. While still sporting his motorcycle racing avatar, he claims to have veered off the Highway to Hell after reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" and has found new purpose in life through kegel exercises, hog calling and running a pet rock adoption center. He won the lottery, got his Masters in Sex Therapy, was voted "Most Likely to Overthrow Xenu" at the Evil Knievel School of Scientology and plans to run for U.S. Senate next year in his home state ... the State of Denial. I'mFucked: No, that's not someone's screen name. That's me should any of these people ever return to the forum. Edited on Dec 16, 2009, 08:38pm | |
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| 12-14-09 07:33pm - 5486 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Jumpin' baby Jesus on a pogo stick! I smell Christmas in the air -- although it may just be the urinal cakes I stash around my place to keep things smellin' fresh for da' ladies -- and the PU forum is bursting at the seams with utter crap. The only thing this can mean is that it's time for Dr. Wittyguy's one size cures all laxative: the 2009 PU Forum Awards (also known as the PUey's)!!! Taking after Chuck Norris, I once again became a force of one by bravely descending into the contaminated cesspool that constitutes the demented, depraved, and mostly thought devoid PU forum; kicking ass with my Texas Ranger sized mullet blowing in the breeze until the best of the worst was finally revealed and I round house kick it onto your monitor. So here I am, handing out awards as I see fit, accountable to no one but voices in my head ... and respected by even fewer. I now ask that my fellow pervs put away your beef stick (or whatever it is your calling your Mr. Shrinky Dink today), put on your favorite clip-on tie (it goes on your "I'm With Stupid /\" t-shirt, not your "I Fuck On The First Date" ballcap) and in order to comply with federal health and safety standards, ask that you wash your hands: not because of the swine flu but because we know where your damn hands have been! [Disclaimer: If you can't handle having won an award, lost an award, failed to receive your prize or feel that you have been inaccurately portrayed in this thread please direct all complaints to: wittyguysucks/google.beefdepartment@theinternet.com. All awards are humorous in nature, unaffiliated with the PU/TBP staff and not subject to public humiliation by Kanye West, so suck it up! If you're clueless as to what the hell is about to happen to you, check out the 2008 Forum Awards and start crying now.] We begin the ceremonies with our award for "POSTER CHILD OF THE YEAR" which is a double award this time, going to Badandy400 and Denner! Badandy only had about 290 posts at the time of last years awards but, due to a serious case of verbal diarrhea, now has over 670 posts. Believing that the forum was actually his Twitter account, Badandy would not, and could not, be denied from sharing every fucking thing that ever fucking happened to him since the mother ship intentionally deserted him here. Denner is not as verbose but for some reason he feels the need to share every damn thought that fires up both of his neurons by starting a new forum thread, crapping out over 70 threads since the forum began. His favorite topics include trust votes, regional pricing and how Danish butter cookies lower your IQ. Don't you guys have anyone else to talk to ... like a pet gerbil or a fire hydrant? For his award, Badandy gets a 10 Pentabyte hard drive which just might hold all his posts through the year 2010 thus actually making him bigger than the Library of Congress. Denner's prize is a computer auto lock: groundbreaking technology based upon breathalyzer interlocks for cars. This device requires Denner to breath into his computer before logging onto PU to determine his level of sobriety and sanity. Next we have the "THREAD TITLE OF THE YEAR AWARD" going to Williamj for his thread entitled "Vagina Aroma". Contrary to popular belief, Williamj's thread wasn't self descriptive, just one perv's lonely cry for help. After suffering a back alley beat down in last year's forum awards for starting a thread on a topic he knew nothing about, what does he do this year? He starts a thread on a topic he knows nothing about ;) Deciding this wasn't enough, he then had to go the extra mile and give us the thread "Vagina Queif" to talk about "pussy farts". For his award, Williamj gets a pair of unwashed panties from my obese, 86 year old incontinent neighbor lady. Hopefully this will cure him (and save us) from any future dialogue on the subject. Honorable mentions in this category go out to Drooler for "Goodnight, Moone"; "Burger King Butts" by JD1961; "Masturbation is the Cure for Hay Fever" by HotMandy, and; "Help Me, I'm Starting to Download BBWs"" by Messmer. [Hint to Messmer: If BBW are becoming your thing, I'd suggest the Burger King parking lot under a full Moon(e) during allergy season. Just don't mix up your French/Canadian with your English or else you might end up with a Queif instead of the fries.] Next up is a new category, the "MILLI VANILLI AWARD" which, again, is a double award this year going to Cybertoad and Drooler! Cybertoad wins for his tearfully poetic and pornofied rendition of our favorite holiday poem in his thread "Twas the Night Before PU". In descriptive prose that pretty much captures Cybertoad's fantasy world, he dashes the innocence of all who believe that fat little elves in flying sleighs who break into your home at night don't have a few screws loose. Drooler wins for his pornofied Fog Hat cover of "Slow Ride" in the thread "Song Parodies". Yes, "Slow Site" describes the pain felt by all with their pants around their ankles and greasy palms waiting for that ... last ... download ... to ... finish (yeah, like that ever stops anyone from "finishing"). Cybertoad and Drooler each get a 10,000 watt Mr. Microphone -- with a speaker setting that goes to "11" -- that they can use in their home, car, and office to impress their friends and family with their vocals (lots of practice in the shower with Mr. Microphone plugged in is highly recommended). Each also gets a copy of "The Complete Works of Militant Bull-Dyke Lesbian Poetry" to inspire their creative muses. I can't wait to hear these two wax poetically on new themes in the forum such as "Unlubricated Dildo Jihad"; "Fisting Ain't Just for Breakfast Anymore"; "You'll Be My Bitch and Like It" and "I Queif, Therefore I Am". Cybertoad also gets an honorable mention for his "arousing" rendition of Frosty the Snowman in "Frosty the Porn User". The "PORN SNOB OF THE YEAR" award goes to Ramscrota for his combined rants in "Good and Bad Porn Photography" and "What is good and bad taste ..."! Unable to generally describe what he likes to see in his porn, Ramscota went for broke. His preferences and demands covered every conceivable variance that could take place during a photo shoot from the model's posture, to the brand of toothpaste she used that morning, to how Scooby-Doo's astrological sign must coincide with the color of the model's dildo in order to properly calibrate lighting angles. Ansel Adams would have sold his camera and became a drag queen had Ramscrota tried to commission a shoot from him. Methuselah trees would die from boredom listening to his diatribes on how angular lens telemetries fail to offset a diffused lighting matrix reflecting off a tramp stamp when properly taking a "gape" shot of Ms. Skank of the Day. Ramscrota's award is a awarded a copy of "Martha Stewart's Sumptuous Porn Set Designs", a jug of White-Out to put on his computer screen to correct any improper juxtapositions in a shot, and Last Rites from the Pope ... because mankind will be long since dead when the sun swallows up the Earth in 6 billion years with Ramscrota still searching for a photo set he likes! Next, we have the "AVATAR OF THE YEAR AWARD" going to Iknoporn! This award goes to the best new, long term avatar a user posts each year. Repeating our animal theme from last year when Drooler won, Iknoporn features a kitty admiring the ultimate bird (the ultimate pussy for a pussy?). His avatar touches on such unhealthy themes as lust, interspecies sex, anthropomorphism, lesbianism and Col. Sanders secret recipe -- all of which are healthy enough at PU to win this award. Iknoporn's prize package includes being named fan club president of Animal Planet tv's new porn site Kittychickenbeaver.com and his avatar being featured on an "EaT MoRe ChiKin" commercial from Chick-Fil-A. Honorable mentions go out to ramscrota for his cheesy smiling goat, lk2fireone and his suicide kitty, ragingbuddhist for his new cartoonized avatar (also having gotten an honorable mention last year) and Pinkpanther for his new cartoonized avatar. Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 10:04pm | |
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| 12-14-09 12:35pm - 5486 days | #21 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:41pm | |
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| 12-14-09 12:24pm - 5486 days | #3 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Badandy seems to be have been missing in action for a while. He's going to regret that within the next 48 hours (the 2009 forum are nearly here!). | |
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| 12-11-09 03:49pm - 5489 days | #6 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Given the lack of holiday cheer around here this year, I resurrected this thread from last year in hopes of inspiring others. To further enhance your holiday muse, here's some lyrics from an Eric Idle (Monty Python member) song to warm your heart: Fuck Christmas Fuck Christmas! It's a waste of fucking time Fuck Santa He's just out to get your dime, Fuck Holly and Fuck Ivy And fuck all that mistletoe White-bearded big fat bastards Ringing bells where e'er you go And bloated men in shopping malls All going Ho-Ho-Ho It's Christmas fucking time again! Fuck Christmas It's a fucking Disney show Fuck carols And all that fucking snow Fuck reindeer And fuck Rudolph And his stupid fucking nose And fucking sleigh bells tinkling Everywhere you fucking goes Fuck stockings and fuck shopping It just drives us all insane. Go tell the elves To fuck themselves It's Christmas time again! (If you want to see the two minute performance, here's the you-tube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqfZUX5svCg) | |
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| 12-10-09 02:43pm - 5490 days | #48 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Just wanted to say "Hi" to Davidx and welcome to the forum. It's always good to have a new voice around here. Look forward to hearing from you more. | |
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| 12-10-09 01:32pm - 5490 days | #20 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:40pm | |
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| 12-09-09 02:50pm - 5491 days | #24 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:39pm | |
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| 12-09-09 01:14pm - 5491 days | #4 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:41pm | |
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| 12-09-09 12:35pm - 5491 days | #22 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:39pm | |
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| 12-09-09 12:22pm - 5491 days | #2 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:41pm | |
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| 12-08-09 01:18pm - 5492 days | #48 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
I just recently saw an editorial in Forbes magazine regarding the whole condoms in porn issue. As noted previously in this thread, several groups (including the State of California) want to regulate the porn industry and require the use of condoms in porn scenes in order to protect the actors from HIV and STDs. However, there is a big downside, mainly the threat of an HIV outbreak - the very problem that advocates of regulation want to prevent. Here's the deal. First, in order for state OSHA (health and safety rules) to apply to porn stars they would have to be considered employees. This fact alone would cause mainstream Hollywood to go nuts because that goes against the grain of a lot of their business model (most actors are considered contractors I believve) so right away this regulation effort could face a lot of silent lobbying from the Big Boys of movies which might stop it cold in it's tracks. Second, if the laws regarding condom useage well required, that means that the rest of California's OSHA laws would also have to be applied. Other OSHA laws specificially prohibit employers from testing employees for HIV as a condition of employment. Moreover, an employee who is HIV positive cannot be denied employment because s/he might be HIV positive. Thus, the current HIV testing that the industry voluntarily uses would become illegal and the result is that you have people never getting tested until it's way too late. Third, even if California makes condom useage mandatory all that's going to happen is that black market porn will blossom (who the hell will know if the bedroom scene was shot in LA or Miami) or that the industry will just pack up and leave the state taking the big dollars with them to other states. In any case, California and the industry pretty much loses if mandatory condoms becomes the law of that land. Here's the article if you're interested: http://www.forbes.com/2009/12/07/enterta...exandre-padilla.html | |
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| 12-08-09 12:59pm - 5492 days | #4 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:40pm | |
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| 12-08-09 12:51pm - 5492 days | #16 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:39pm | |
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| 12-07-09 02:12pm - 5493 days | #27 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:38pm | |
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| 12-04-09 02:39pm - 5496 days | #10 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:37pm | |
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| 12-03-09 04:43pm - 5497 days | #6 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Just digging through the riff-raff researching for the 2009 Forum Awards (they should be out next week) and decided that this was a good reminder for everyone since it's freakin' x-mas time and Santa is watching you ... isn't that really pretty creepy, he's sort of the ultimate perv ... the fat guy in the red suit always looking at your children and bringing them unsolicited presents every year .... | |
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| 12-03-09 01:24pm - 5497 days | #13 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:38pm | |
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| 12-03-09 12:14pm - 5497 days | #7 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:36pm | |
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| 12-03-09 12:02pm - 5497 days | #9 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:38pm | |
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| 12-02-09 01:18pm - 5498 days | #2 | |
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Wittyguy (0)
Active User Posts: 1,138 Registered: Feb 04, '08 Location: Left Coast, USA |
Welcome to 21st Century Gonzo inspired porn. Who's got time for slow loving when there's so much texting, sexting, blogging, facebooking, reality tv and holiday shopping to do? Wham, bam, I'll text you later ma'am and have a nice day ... would you like fries with that too? | |
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