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| Porn Users Forum » My Bad !! |
| 1-35 of 35 Posts | Page 1 |
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| 04-06-12 06:46pm - 4643 days | Original Post - #1 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
My Bad !! Q: What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? A: Kermit the frogs finger Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant. Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens! Q. What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common? A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!  Since 2007 | |
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| 04-22-12 09:20pm - 4627 days | #2 | |
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Toadsith (0)
Active User  Posts: 936 Registered: Dec 07, '07 Location: USA |
Just going to add a Blonde joke I ran across recently:
Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo | |
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| 04-23-12 12:53am - 4626 days | #3 | |
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BadMrFrosty (0)
Active User Posts: 124 Registered: Mar 05, '10 Location: Prague (Czech Republic) |
WARNING!!!! These are some of the most offensive jokes known to man, do not read if you are prone to taking life too seriously. Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A: Nothing. She's already been told twice. A Catholic Priest and a Jewish Rabbi are hanging out at the park. A little boy walks by and the Priest says to the Rabbi: Wanna fuck him? The Rabbi replies: Out of what? Q: What's the most effective pickup line you know? A: Don't make me turn this rape into murder. Q: Why do black people only have nightmares? A: Because the last one to have a dream got shot. Q: What's the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds? A: There's twenty of them! Q: What's the difference between rape and necrophelia? A: About 5 minutes. A clown and a child are walking towards a dark forest. The child looks up and say "I don't want to go in there.. It looks scary!" The clown looks down, smiles and says, "You think YOU'RE scared... I have to walk out of there alone." Q: What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? A: Gang rape. Q: Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage. Q: What's harder than nailing 100 dead babies to the wall? A: My dick while I'm doing it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? A: I don't come on an apple before I eat it. Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A: One is fun to hit with a hammer, and the other is a watermelon. Q: What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? A: I cry when I cut up an onion. Girl asks her dad if she can borrow the car Friday night. he says yeah, if you suck my dick. She starts gagging on the dick complaining about it tasting like shit. Dad says your brother needs it back for saturday. I called up the rape advice hotline yesterday. Apparently it's only for victims. The problem with the world is stupidity. Not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? Frank Zappa | |
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| 04-23-12 10:42am - 4626 days | #4 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
^ I guess I am taking life too seriously. This post seriously crossed the line for me. Horrible! | |
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| 04-23-12 01:46pm - 4626 days | #5 | |
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Micha (0)
Active User Posts: 321 Registered: Jul 04, '10 Location: san jose ca |
yes Baaaaad Frosty ! your bad..... you're bad the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? you cannot use a pitch fork on one of them unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. | |
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| 04-23-12 01:55pm - 4626 days | #6 | |
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RagingBuddhist (0)
Disabled User  Posts: 893 Registered: Jan 23, '07 |
An oldie but goodie? What's the difference between a bunch of pygmies and a girls track team? The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts. Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity. | |
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| 04-23-12 03:51pm - 4626 days | #7 | |
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lk2fireone (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
BadMrFrosty truly deserves an award of merit for his offensive jokes. They are as bad as I've ever seen or heard. Edited on Apr 23, 2012, 07:53pm | |
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| 04-23-12 04:12pm - 4626 days | #8 | |
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messmer (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,582 Registered: Sep 12, '07 Location: Canada |
Well, I tell you, I am really shocked that there was no outcry about that true obscenity from anyone. I believe in freedom of speech and all, but those jokes were more offensive than the rawest porn I have ever watched or read. But of course if jokes about farts are funny why not take it a step further and make it really, really funny by seeing how disgusting you can make your humor. This is it for me. I thought I was in civilized company, and for the most part you are but for the first time since I took part in this forum I feel I've been in a cesspool. Well, this time you will know why I'm gone! I'll miss the decent perverts in your midst, you've been an important part of my life for five years and I wish you all the best. m. | |
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| 04-23-12 04:36pm - 4626 days | #9 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
I would like to apologies for starting the thread LOL. Ok I am not sorry, but I would say, damn my jokes were up there but Frosty if my Jokes out of the park, yours were outta the park, down the street to the ferry, going to the airport where the plane took it to the shuttle where it blasted off into space was captured by aliens and went in to a black hole. hehehe admire the tenacity though hehe Since 2007 | |
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| 04-23-12 08:13pm - 4626 days | #10 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User  Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
I only read one or two of frosty's joke and had to stop because they truly awful. I know they say humour is subjective but there are some things that should never be joked about and I'd say these are them. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 04-24-12 01:33am - 4625 days | #11 | |
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slutty (0)
Active User Posts: 475 Registered: Mar 02, '09 Location: Pennsylvania |
Don't go again messmer! I didn't get a chance to say I'm offended (which I am, quite so), as I don't check in often enough apparently. how about a really lame pun from cartalk to offset the offensiveness? A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone National Park to study the bears. Finally, their requests were granted, and they immediately flew to Yellowstone. They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance, and finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged, with no sign of the missing men. Following the trails of a male and a female bear, they finally caught up with the female. Fearing an international incident, they decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientist. They killed the female bear and opened its stomach to find the remains of the Russian scientist. One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you?" The other ranger nodded and responded, "I guess it means the Czech is in the male." or (my lady's favorite from the episode): What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart. Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars. Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited. | |
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| 04-24-12 01:45am - 4625 days | #12 | |
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Toadsith (0)
Active User Posts: 936 Registered: Dec 07, '07 Location: USA |
And then to bring the post back to its offensive tone perfected by BadMrFrosty, this joke really should have been included in his list:
You're welcome. "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!" Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo | |
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| 04-24-12 03:42am - 4625 days | #13 | |
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BadMrFrosty (0)
Active User Posts: 124 Registered: Mar 05, '10 Location: Prague (Czech Republic) |
Sorry if I offended anyone with the jokes, I did warn you but maybe the warning was not strong enough. It may surprise you but a lot of the jokes have been used by some of the most popular comedians in the UK like Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle in their stand up acts. Thats the British sense of humour for you, nothing is sacred when it comes to comedy which is exactly the way it should be. Not that the UK has exclusivity on great comedians, Doug Stanhope and Reginald D Hunter are probably just as offensive in their humour and very funny. They are both very popular in the UK, don't know about in the US. The problem with the world is stupidity. Not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? Frank Zappa | |
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| 04-24-12 05:24am - 4625 days | #14 | ||
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Toadsith (0)
Active User Posts: 936 Registered: Dec 07, '07 Location: USA |
Don't forget Daniel Tosh and his particular brand of offensive humor:
I believe he is one of the best stand-up comedians working today, but his humor does come off as too offensive for some people.
Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo | ||
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| 04-24-12 09:56am - 4625 days | #15 | |
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lk2fireone (0)
Active User Posts: 3,618 Registered: Nov 14, '08 Location: CA |
Almost any comedian, in his live act, will have some material that offends some people. That is the nature of much of comedy. | |
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| 04-24-12 09:59am - 4625 days | #16 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
Sorry but I don't think it's possible to truly warn anyone about the level of depravity in those jokes. The best thing anyone can do is never write them again. I know that the kind of jokes comedians tell each other is rarely meant for the general public. I've always assumed that since they are comedian by profession and telling jokes is what they do on a daily basis then they need a certain level of shock to get their attention and that's fine. I suspecvt that if they were to do a full show using those jokes then they would quickly lose any chance of getting hired by most clubs and they could forget any chances of making it on TV. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 04-24-12 12:34pm - 4625 days | #17 | |
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BadMrFrosty (0)
Active User Posts: 124 Registered: Mar 05, '10 Location: Prague (Czech Republic) |
Not in the UK. Jimmy Carr who is known and almost expected to be as close to the bone as possible is a big name not only on the stand up circuit but also on TV. Admittedly the material you will see on TV is a little watered down but if you were to watch a DVD from any of the comedians I mentioned you would see very raw material that is intended to shock. In fact its the juxtaposition of something that is extremely controversial with a comic twist that made great comedians like Ricky Gervais or comic writers like Chris Morris so hugely popular. Hell this is not even a new trend, I remember the atop the forth wall style Monty Python sketch which parodied audience outrage at cannibalism at the undertakers. And ToadSith, thanks for recommending Daniel Tosh. I am always on the lookout for great comedy. The problem with the world is stupidity. Not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? Frank Zappa | |
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| 04-24-12 12:51pm - 4625 days | #18 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User  Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Personally, whilst I really rate Monty Python, I find Ricky Gervais the most unfunny comic I have ever had the misfortune to come across.  I rate Lee Evans, Jack Dee, & a lot of the Irish comedians. Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 04-24-12 01:13pm - 4625 days | #19 | |
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BadMrFrosty (0)
Active User Posts: 124 Registered: Mar 05, '10 Location: Prague (Czech Republic) |
My point was that, love him or hate him, Ricky Gervais made a career from some very, very uncomfortable scenes that induced a contradictory sense of offence vs humour which these types of jokes are intended to do. Its not the dead babies or the rape or incest that produces the humour its the ridiculousness of the pretence vs the brutality of the punchline that should make the reader cringe and wince that there is any humour to be derived. But I agree that the Irelanders make great comedians too, I very much like Dylan Moran, Dara o'Briain and David O'Doherty. The problem with the world is stupidity. Not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? Frank Zappa | |
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| 04-24-12 01:27pm - 4625 days | #20 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
I agree on Dara. I would also add Ardal O'Hanlon to that Ed Byrne & Jason Byrne Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 04-24-12 01:29pm - 4625 days | #21 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Me I hate to censor free speech, I do not always agree. But that does not mean censorship should be the cause. I guess as Capn said I am the lone liberal in the bunch, don't hate me cause I am 60's child LOL Agreeing in free speech does not mean endorsing ! Since 2007 | |
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| 04-24-12 01:43pm - 4625 days | #22 | |
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BadMrFrosty (0)
Active User Posts: 124 Registered: Mar 05, '10 Location: Prague (Czech Republic) |
How could I fail to mention the Byrne's? Great comedians too! The problem with the world is stupidity. Not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? Frank Zappa | |
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| 04-24-12 02:11pm - 4625 days | #23 | |
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rearadmiral (0)
Active User Posts: 1,453 Registered: Jul 16, '07 Location: NB/Canada |
I agree mostly, and I'm personally loathe to criticize someone for simply saying something, but on a site where we swap useful information about porn I'm thinking that we should steer clear of jokes about rape, incest and child abuse. I'm picturing a blue-haired old lady who stumbles in here and, to her horror, reads reviews and comments about porn sites. Jokes like these might confirm her worst suspicions about us perverts. | |
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| 04-24-12 02:14pm - 4625 days | #24 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
A good point raised there, RA! Cap'n. Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 04-24-12 06:54pm - 4625 days | #25 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
^What rearadmiral said is pretty much what I was thinking when I first read one of the jokes. Sending someone to a link of them is one thing but posting a bunch of them is a little disturbing. I don't think anyone had any bad intentions with those jokes but I frankly draw the line at jokes that have anything to do with sexually abusing children. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 04-24-12 10:25pm - 4625 days | #26 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
No offense, but there's plenty of comedians saying things that are just as "shocking" as these jokes, if not much worse. Daniel Tosh has already been mentioned, as he likes to be very unforgiving in his comedy. Another example is Louis C.K., who accused Sarah Palin of having a "retard-making cunt" (in reference to her down syndrome child). Crude? Maybe, but hardly the crime the conservatives, who were apparently so enraged they conveniently forgot about free speech or individual liberty, made it out to be in their breathless rush to defend Palin and "decency" as we know it. There are a few types of people I have always been suspicious of, and one of these is the habitually humorless--those outraged, hyper-sensitive sourpusses who seem to be incapable of ever getting a joke, no matter how trivial or silly. Frankly, life is already too serious to not try and lighten it with some humor. And because of this I will always choose any offensive or crude comedy if it means avoiding the authoritarian dullness through which those joyless moralists would have us suffer. "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 04-24-12 11:31pm - 4625 days | #27 | |
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Capn (0)
Active User Posts: 1,740 Registered: Sep 05, '09 Location: Near the Beer! |
Just because something is shocking & offensive does not make it funny. Cap'n.  Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU AwardHilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award ( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/ Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder! | |
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| 04-25-12 09:15am - 4624 days | #28 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
I don't think I fall in this category because I do enjoy a wide variey of comedy and some of it is crude but if I must find jokes about sexually abusing children funny then I guess I am a humorless sourpuss. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 04-25-12 05:49pm - 4624 days | #29 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
I agree very wise perspective . Since 2007 | |
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| 04-26-12 12:54am - 4623 days | #30 | |
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turboshaft (0)
Active User Posts: 1,958 Registered: Apr 01, '08 |
You're not, and that's not the same as finding nothing funny, ever. There are people who find absolutely no value in any humor whatsoever, and this can be seen taken to its extreme in the more repressive parts of the world. Forgive me for thinking too deeply about this, but I do care about the freedom to enjoy finding humor in things, even those subjects that are not in "good taste" (or so we are told). And really, it's not you seeing something as unfunny, but others being so offended that they feel it's necessary to tell us what we can and cannot laugh at, and, ultimately, think. In other words, just my typical libertarian-gone-mad  .  "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove | |
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| 04-26-12 05:08am - 4623 days | #31 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
^I'm Canadian so freedom of speach means something a little different for us than it does to our neighbors down south. I respect their views but don't always agree with it. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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| 04-26-12 06:30am - 4623 days | #32 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
I think you will find that many of us in the USA will view free speech as one of if not the very top right we have. So we tend to defend it at our iown perils sometimes, Around the world many people are put to death for even questioning the leaders. Here we can say what we feel is injustices. I look even at PU website itself as existing only because of the right to be open about reviews and etc. I am not really a radical in any sense. But when I went to Ontario a few years ago many people that I talked with were kinda shocked to a point how free thought I was. Not to say there is anything wrong with Cananda. We are just to different countries, whom value things differently. I think the same way inner city kids and country kids never quite get the other.  But I still think the neighbor north is cool.  Since 2007 | |
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| 04-29-12 02:17am - 4620 days | #33 | |
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slutty (0)
Active User Posts: 475 Registered: Mar 02, '09 Location: Pennsylvania |
Free speech in the states always seems to me as though it is fine if they are saying what you want to hear, but if not it is totally unacceptable. Two recent examples would be Ted Nugent's thoughts on our president and Limbaugh's jackassery. Personally I think free speech is fine for all, but if you say something stupid, you can't run to freedom of speech as a defense (Limbaugh) - just because you can doesn't mean you should. Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars. Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited. | |
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| 04-29-12 09:28am - 4620 days | #34 | |
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Cybertoad (0)
Disabled User Posts: 2,158 Registered: Jan 01, '08 Location: Wash |
Yes agreed, I do not think of freedom of speech in the means of protection, moreover I think of it as a right to express. The outcome lol is up to the speaker who may have won hearts or dug a grave by enforcing this right ! Since 2007 | |
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| 04-29-12 09:30am - 4620 days | #35 | |
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pat362 (0)
Active User Posts: 3,575 Registered: Jan 23, '07 Location: canada |
^I look at it this way. You can say whatever you like but you must also be willing to pay the price when you cross the line. I think Rush may finally have learned this but I don't think Ted is there yet. Long live the Brown Coats. | |
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