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09-09-09  09:59pm - 5583 days #51
exotics4me (0)
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Posts: 664
Registered: Jan 12, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by badandy400:


I am sure you can do a lot of good in Florida as well as LA. Moving to a new area and moving shop is a very larger undertaking. I am certainly glad it is not me!

Unfortunately the person on the top has no one else to look up to. Having a strong father figure is something that is very important but at some point in a man's live he is faced with himself being the father figure. You still have all their teachings and have learned your own lessons through life. I am sure the answers and support you need can be found largely within. You still have your wife too.

On a positive note. Now that you are moving to Florida your father-in-law is just a short swim away!


The one positive about moving to Florida is that I am familiar with the area. My wife and I have spent 3 months or so out of each of the last 4-5 years down there. If she had her way, I wouldn't go near a gang ever again.

Agree about the answers being found within, but it was much easier when there was someone to talk to about those things. I'm pretty well adjusted to not having a father figure, we lost dad, older brother and grandfather when I was 14, so I had to grow up pretty fast in that sense. Still, you know, it is much better when you can go to someone older and wiser. My wife's too emotional! You can tell you're not married! My problem would turn into her beautician raising her prices on highlighting ha ha!

I've already joked with my father-in-law that he can now help support his daughter (my wife) since he spoiled her all of those years. He had joked at our wedding that we were now "Too far away, she's your problem now" laughing of course. My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich. - Chuck Palahniuk

09-09-09  11:35pm - 5583 days #52
badandy400 (0)
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Posts: 869
Registered: Mar 02, '08
Location: ohio
Yes, don't do anything to make her beautician mad, it can only result in one thing, lots and lots for trouble for you. My girlfriend is emotional as well, like any worthwhile woman, but I can talk to her about most things. This is a big positive for me.

Your wife wanting you away from gangs is completely understandable. In the back of her mind she was surely always worried something might happen to you and rightfully so.

I did not realize you lost that many of your man figures that early in life. 14 is a rough time to deal with such a loss. Hell any age would be rough. I am 24 and have only lost one grand parent and pretty much no one else, so I recon I should be thankful for that.

It is always nice to be able to joke with the in-laws. I get along with my girlfriend's parents fairly well. I am a lot like her dad in many respects and get his humor when others do not. "For example, badandy400 has taken it upon himself to become the one man Library of Congress for porn with a collection that surely will be in Guinness Book of World Records some day." ~Toadsith~

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09-10-09  03:43am - 5582 days #53
mbaya (0)
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Posts: 891
Registered: Jul 07, '08
Location: new jersey
I see you as self conscious about your English because you have many times explicitly said so. Relax. Yes 1.5 are immmigrants who came here when very young. It is hard to do a diagnosis from long distance, but I know that an educated person like yourself would appreciate some technical terminology and insight from someone who is a professional in that field. Dyslexics don't usually have verb tense problems, by the way. Of course English proficiency goes up with more schooling. Bilingual or multilinguals are generally no more long winded than anyone else. That may simply be your personality, but it may also be that your two languages other than English both are long winded and overexplain the obvious. Example-in what way is "el dia de hoy" different from simply saying "hoy"? Americans say "I am 40", but in both English and Italian the grammar requires that you must say "I am 40 years of age"? Both Spanish speakers and Italian ones write incredibly longer essays than do monolingual English speakers. Further, while you may have reason to feel that sometimes others have been too hard on you, that can still make you care about that more than you have to. You are doing just fine. I think you are suffering from a hopefully temporary burnout.

09-10-09  08:45pm - 5582 days #55
exotics4me (0)
Active User



Posts: 664
Registered: Jan 12, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by badandy400:


Yes, don't do anything to make her beautician mad, it can only result in one thing, lots and lots for trouble for you. My girlfriend is emotional as well, like any worthwhile woman, but I can talk to her about most things. This is a big positive for me.

Your wife wanting you away from gangs is completely understandable. In the back of her mind she was surely always worried something might happen to you and rightfully so.

I did not realize you lost that many of your man figures that early in life. 14 is a rough time to deal with such a loss. Hell any age would be rough. I am 24 and have only lost one grand parent and pretty much no one else, so I recon I should be thankful for that.

It is always nice to be able to joke with the in-laws. I get along with my girlfriend's parents fairly well. I am a lot like her dad in many respects and get his humor when others do not.


The losses started when my brother was murdered at 17, dad suffered a grief induced massive heart attack a few weeks later and grandpa was sick anyway from Diabetes. It had at least one positive impact as it caused me to become close with my mom in a family that was once 4 males, 1 female.

My father-in-law has liked me since the day I met him, mother-in-law is still skeptical of me. She thinks men with Italian blood are born players, even after nearly 10 years with her daughter! My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich. - Chuck Palahniuk

09-10-09  09:14pm - 5582 days #56
badandy400 (0)
Active User



Posts: 869
Registered: Mar 02, '08
Location: ohio
My girlfriend's mom and I like to pick on each other which is fun. I am betting your mother in-law would be skeptical of pretty much any man. Some parents are always worrisome of their children, no matter their age. Did this terrible loss of so much of your family lead to your profession? "For example, badandy400 has taken it upon himself to become the one man Library of Congress for porn with a collection that surely will be in Guinness Book of World Records some day." ~Toadsith~

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09-11-09  06:41pm - 5581 days #57
exotics4me (0)
Active User



Posts: 664
Registered: Jan 12, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by mbaya:


I see you as self conscious about your English because you have many times explicitly said so. Relax. Yes 1.5 are immmigrants who came here when very young. It is hard to do a diagnosis from long distance, but I know that an educated person like yourself would appreciate some technical terminology and insight from someone who is a professional in that field. Dyslexics don't usually have verb tense problems, by the way. Of course English proficiency goes up with more schooling. Bilingual or multilinguals are generally no more long winded than anyone else. That may simply be your personality, but it may also be that your two languages other than English both are long winded and overexplain the obvious. Example-in what way is "el dia de hoy" different from simply saying "hoy"? Americans say "I am 40", but in both English and Italian the grammar requires that you must say "I am 40 years of age"? Both Spanish speakers and Italian ones write incredibly longer essays than do monolingual English speakers. Further, while you may have reason to feel that sometimes others have been too hard on you, that can still make you care about that more than you have to. You are doing just fine. I think you are suffering from a hopefully temporary burnout.


With all due respect, please don't analyze something I do or say based on me doing it many times. It is the least combative way for me to post when there is a misunderstanding, meaning I will put the blame on myself to avoid an argument. How would it go over if I said, "The problem isn't the length of my posts, it is your lack of an attention span or your inability to comprehend plain English"? That would be me poking the other person, not just on this site, but other places I post as well. Also add that we have new members that may or may not know about the multilingual members.

I do appreciate the view that you bring on this subject, but with Dyslexia being a fairly broad, multi-field study, it should be noted that there is a known verb tense problem with Italian speakers with irregular verbs. A couple of different Psychiatry books cover it, the books, International Society of Brain and Behaviour based out of the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, Greece and the Annals of General Psychiatry 2006 edition.

The studies show that it is common for Italian speakers learning English to show a clear problem with irregular verbs. The belief is that since Italian speakers are often phonically impaired in English, this manifests into a deficiency in morphological processing. I first read about it in the study "Language Deficits in Dyslexic Children: speech perception, phonology and morphology." from the book, "Journal of Experimental Child Psychology".

The study went on to show 3 different age groups of (5-8), (9-12) and (24-27) all had problems with irregular verbs, saw, see and seen being the biggest problem of a group of 50 irregular verbs. Each of the people used in this particular study had been diagnosed as dyslexics and were at least bilingual in Italian and English. Of note, the study also shows Greek and German dyslexics having a similar problem.

The thing is, I don't think others have been too hard on me. I think others sell themselves short and don't notice that they are more taking a shot at themselves than me, when they come into discussions based on descriptive thoughts and then lose interest halfway through the post. It's the New York minute mentality. They would prefer to read two lines of something and get the fast response than to read twenty lines and maybe learn something. It is that need for instant gratification and in many ways, an arrogance to believe they can fully understand something just by a few lines of text.

The burnout most likely is of many things. I haven't been on a real non-work vacation in nearly 10 years. The closest thing to a vacation in recent years was a trip up to Stanford University to be a guest speaker in their Psychology department. That's one of those, that's vacation? feelings! My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich. - Chuck Palahniuk

09-11-09  07:26pm - 5581 days #58
badandy400 (0)
Active User



Posts: 869
Registered: Mar 02, '08
Location: ohio
Yup, it is time for you to disappear for a week or two somewhere. Everyone needs vacation and after 10 years I would think you have some time saved up by now. Being a guest speaker in no way qualifies as vacation. There are too many things to worry about with that, plus it is a scheduled event. Vacation is about going somewhere, or staying home, and have absolutely no obligations to anyone or anything but for whatever you feeling like doing at the moment. "For example, badandy400 has taken it upon himself to become the one man Library of Congress for porn with a collection that surely will be in Guinness Book of World Records some day." ~Toadsith~

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09-11-09  08:33pm - 5581 days #59
exotics4me (0)
Active User



Posts: 664
Registered: Jan 12, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by badandy400:


My girlfriend's mom and I like to pick on each other which is fun. I am betting your mother in-law would be skeptical of pretty much any man. Some parents are always worrisome of their children, no matter their age. Did this terrible loss of so much of your family lead to your profession?


I believe the losses did help lead to me going into psychology, but there was more than these as far as what would be looked at as traumatic events. We had an incredibly intelligent young woman in South Central. She had came there from her much more sheltered life in Hartford, Connecticut and would try to help those in South Central with losses. Spoke to a group from around the neighborhood I grew up in last week and they estimated between 45-50 teenagers killed or maimed this year in a 6 block area, so there was always a problem like that and it still exists. Anyway, she came to our neighborhood as a social worker/counselor back in about 1989. I was 15 or so. She was one of the best spoken people I had ever met. She helped a lot of us "look to tomorrow not to yesterday" and she probably was the person that sparked my interest in psychology.

She really wasn't that successful with the South Central residents since they often said, "What does that little white-bred rich girl know about pain and suffering?" They couldn't use that on me. Though I should note that I originally planned on going into business and have a MBA from USC's Marshall Business School. My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich. - Chuck Palahniuk

09-12-09  10:20pm - 5580 days #60
badandy400 (0)
Active User



Posts: 869
Registered: Mar 02, '08
Location: ohio
Well I suppose you are in business none the less. I am working on an MBA right now come to speak of it.

People can nearly always relate better to people in or from similar situations. So did you start business then switch to psychology or did you decide on psychology before beginning college? "For example, badandy400 has taken it upon himself to become the one man Library of Congress for porn with a collection that surely will be in Guinness Book of World Records some day." ~Toadsith~

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09-13-09  06:01pm - 5579 days #61
exotics4me (0)
Active User



Posts: 664
Registered: Jan 12, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by badandy400:


Well I suppose you are in business none the less. I am working on an MBA right now come to speak of it.

People can nearly always relate better to people in or from similar situations. So did you start business then switch to psychology or did you decide on psychology before beginning college?


Kind of funny, I had wanted to go into psychology before college, but I was at that time, more interested in football. My strongest subject is by far anything to do with math. I took one of those career placement tests and the first 3 suggestions were in the business field. There also could have been some sentimental reasons since my late brother had planned to go to college for Business. I spent a good part of my life from 15-20 trying to do things he didn't get a chance to do. The realization of that and the fact that I was doing good in my grades at Ole Miss, led me to double major with psychology being one that I never believed would be anything more than me trying to understand some things about myself and life in general. I'm still considering other possibilities right now for a career. Over the last week, I've been able to get in touch with a Floridian Psychologist and he is, for now, seeing the patients that I had planned to pick up when/if we move to Florida.

The other option is one that I've explored a bit and am right now in a way. My old high school's defensive coordinator in football was wanting a season off without losing his job. So, I've been voluntarily standing in on Friday nights. It's a much more fun job than being a psychologist! Very rewarding job too even without pay, but it will open up more chances for me. I'm trying to make life like a porn site, many choices to choose from!

I am writing a new(er) blog too, though not so much about sports in general like my old one was. This one is a blend of sports with layman level psychology. My business side shows since I've been able to secure advertising from Under Armour that pays quite nice, especially if I keep Nike and Adidas ads off of it. I'm sort of playing the jack of all trades role right now. The blog is allowing me an outlet to advertise a book that is coming out in January, it is in the same vein as Friday Night Lights, called Santa Ana Winds and is about the blood-boiling football rivalries in Orange County, the pain, the glory. Though I don't write any of it, it has a chapter about my late brother and I in it so that will be royalties and if the early pre-orders are any indication it will eventually be made into a movie. Throw in the ties with Under Armour that date back several years and another appearance in one of their commercials.

My mom says I could be unemployed officially and make more money than when I was employed. I don't know if I can link to it here, but if it is okay, I would be glad to. It has nothing about porn on it and could be an interesting read for those that like sports. Oh and it isn't a per click or view for profit blog. Wanted to add that since I don't want to be looked at as shilling it. The money I get is from UA and it is a flat rate per month payment, whether viewed 1 time or 100,000 times. So far, it is getting around 5,000 hits per day. My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich. - Chuck Palahniuk

09-13-09  10:26pm - 5579 days #62
badandy400 (0)
Active User



Posts: 869
Registered: Mar 02, '08
Location: ohio
Sounds like a busy life indeed. Coaching football is something any guy can feel good about. There is no reason that you could not coach and see patients as well is there? If coaching is something that is put on the table for you I would say to do it. I would bet you would regret it very soon after turning it down if you did. A little psychology never hurt a team and defensive players love getting into the heads of their opponents. Also, it would be a great way to reach out to the youth in that area of Florida. Even if you only coached for one season it would help some of the young men get to know and trust you; thus, they might feel a lot more comfortable coming to you later on with any troubles. You could double dip in very positive ways helping yourself and the locals.

Bottom line.
If the offer is presented take it by all means! "For example, badandy400 has taken it upon himself to become the one man Library of Congress for porn with a collection that surely will be in Guinness Book of World Records some day." ~Toadsith~

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09-18-09  10:43am - 5574 days #63
Toadsith (0)
Active User



Posts: 936
Registered: Dec 07, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


Some of the better reviewers include: Drooler, Cybertoad, Toadsith (who seems to have disappeared for a good while), mbaya, Wittyguy, GCode, exotics4me, Denner, and a bunch of others. The last couple of reviews by turboshaft have been awesome.


I've been quiet, not absent. :-)

I'm still lurking on the forum at least once a week (been super busy lately) but yeah, I really haven't been doing any reviews much lately. Largely because I haven't really been joining any new sites for the most part - just continuing with some oldie but goodies mostly, if any. So don't worry, if a topic grabs my interest, I'll chime in as usual. "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

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