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12-14-09  07:33pm - 5449 days Original Post - #1
Wittyguy (0)
Active User



Posts: 1,138
Registered: Feb 04, '08
Location: Left Coast, USA
The 2009 PU FORUM AWARDS !

Jumpin' baby Jesus on a pogo stick! I smell Christmas in the air -- although it may just be the urinal cakes I stash around my place to keep things smellin' fresh for da' ladies -- and the PU forum is bursting at the seams with utter crap. The only thing this can mean is that it's time for Dr. Wittyguy's one size cures all laxative: the 2009 PU Forum Awards (also known as the PUey's)!!!

Taking after Chuck Norris, I once again became a force of one by bravely descending into the contaminated cesspool that constitutes the demented, depraved, and mostly thought devoid PU forum; kicking ass with my Texas Ranger sized mullet blowing in the breeze until the best of the worst was finally revealed and I round house kick it onto your monitor. So here I am, handing out awards as I see fit, accountable to no one but voices in my head ... and respected by even fewer. I now ask that my fellow pervs put away your beef stick (or whatever it is your calling your Mr. Shrinky Dink today), put on your favorite clip-on tie (it goes on your "I'm With Stupid /\" t-shirt, not your "I Fuck On The First Date" ballcap) and in order to comply with federal health and safety standards, ask that you wash your hands: not because of the swine flu but because we know where your damn hands have been!

[Disclaimer: If you can't handle having won an award, lost an award, failed to receive your prize or feel that you have been inaccurately portrayed in this thread please direct all complaints to: wittyguysucks/google.beefdepartment@theinternet.com. All awards are humorous in nature, unaffiliated with the PU/TBP staff and not subject to public humiliation by Kanye West, so suck it up! If you're clueless as to what the hell is about to happen to you, check out the 2008 Forum Awards and start crying now.]

We begin the ceremonies with our award for "POSTER CHILD OF THE YEAR" which is a double award this time, going to Badandy400 and Denner! Badandy only had about 290 posts at the time of last years awards but, due to a serious case of verbal diarrhea, now has over 670 posts. Believing that the forum was actually his Twitter account, Badandy would not, and could not, be denied from sharing every fucking thing that ever fucking happened to him since the mother ship intentionally deserted him here. Denner is not as verbose but for some reason he feels the need to share every damn thought that fires up both of his neurons by starting a new forum thread, crapping out over 70 threads since the forum began. His favorite topics include trust votes, regional pricing and how Danish butter cookies lower your IQ. Don't you guys have anyone else to talk to ... like a pet gerbil or a fire hydrant? For his award, Badandy gets a 10 Pentabyte hard drive which just might hold all his posts through the year 2010 thus actually making him bigger than the Library of Congress. Denner's prize is a computer auto lock: groundbreaking technology based upon breathalyzer interlocks for cars. This device requires Denner to breath into his computer before logging onto PU to determine his level of sobriety and sanity.

Next we have the "THREAD TITLE OF THE YEAR AWARD" going to Williamj for his thread entitled "Vagina Aroma". Contrary to popular belief, Williamj's thread wasn't self descriptive, just one perv's lonely cry for help. After suffering a back alley beat down in last year's forum awards for starting a thread on a topic he knew nothing about, what does he do this year? He starts a thread on a topic he knows nothing about ;) Deciding this wasn't enough, he then had to go the extra mile and give us the thread "Vagina Queif" to talk about "pussy farts". For his award, Williamj gets a pair of unwashed panties from my obese, 86 year old incontinent neighbor lady. Hopefully this will cure him (and save us) from any future dialogue on the subject.

Honorable mentions in this category go out to Drooler for "Goodnight, Moone"; "Burger King Butts" by JD1961; "Masturbation is the Cure for Hay Fever" by HotMandy, and; "Help Me, I'm Starting to Download BBWs"" by Messmer. [Hint to Messmer: If BBW are becoming your thing, I'd suggest the Burger King parking lot under a full Moon(e) during allergy season. Just don't mix up your French/Canadian with your English or else you might end up with a Queif instead of the fries.]

Next up is a new category, the "MILLI VANILLI AWARD" which, again, is a double award this year going to Cybertoad and Drooler! Cybertoad wins for his tearfully poetic and pornofied rendition of our favorite holiday poem in his thread "Twas the Night Before PU". In descriptive prose that pretty much captures Cybertoad's fantasy world, he dashes the innocence of all who believe that fat little elves in flying sleighs who break into your home at night don't have a few screws loose. Drooler wins for his pornofied Fog Hat cover of "Slow Ride" in the thread "Song Parodies". Yes, "Slow Site" describes the pain felt by all with their pants around their ankles and greasy palms waiting for that ... last ... download ... to ... finish (yeah, like that ever stops anyone from "finishing"). Cybertoad and Drooler each get a 10,000 watt Mr. Microphone -- with a speaker setting that goes to "11" -- that they can use in their home, car, and office to impress their friends and family with their vocals (lots of practice in the shower with Mr. Microphone plugged in is highly recommended). Each also gets a copy of "The Complete Works of Militant Bull-Dyke Lesbian Poetry" to inspire their creative muses. I can't wait to hear these two wax poetically on new themes in the forum such as "Unlubricated Dildo Jihad"; "Fisting Ain't Just for Breakfast Anymore"; "You'll Be My Bitch and Like It" and "I Queif, Therefore I Am". Cybertoad also gets an honorable mention for his "arousing" rendition of Frosty the Snowman in "Frosty the Porn User".

The "PORN SNOB OF THE YEAR" award goes to Ramscrota for his combined rants in "Good and Bad Porn Photography" and "What is good and bad taste ..."! Unable to generally describe what he likes to see in his porn, Ramscota went for broke. His preferences and demands covered every conceivable variance that could take place during a photo shoot from the model's posture, to the brand of toothpaste she used that morning, to how Scooby-Doo's astrological sign must coincide with the color of the model's dildo in order to properly calibrate lighting angles. Ansel Adams would have sold his camera and became a drag queen had Ramscrota tried to commission a shoot from him. Methuselah trees would die from boredom listening to his diatribes on how angular lens telemetries fail to offset a diffused lighting matrix reflecting off a tramp stamp when properly taking a "gape" shot of Ms. Skank of the Day. Ramscrota's award is a awarded a copy of "Martha Stewart's Sumptuous Porn Set Designs", a jug of White-Out to put on his computer screen to correct any improper juxtapositions in a shot, and Last Rites from the Pope ... because mankind will be long since dead when the sun swallows up the Earth in 6 billion years with Ramscrota still searching for a photo set he likes!

Next, we have the "AVATAR OF THE YEAR AWARD" going to Iknoporn! This award goes to the best new, long term avatar a user posts each year. Repeating our animal theme from last year when Drooler won, Iknoporn features a kitty admiring the ultimate bird (the ultimate pussy for a pussy?). His avatar touches on such unhealthy themes as lust, interspecies sex, anthropomorphism, lesbianism and Col. Sanders secret recipe -- all of which are healthy enough at PU to win this award. Iknoporn's prize package includes being named fan club president of Animal Planet tv's new porn site Kittychickenbeaver.com and his avatar being featured on an "EaT MoRe ChiKin" commercial from Chick-Fil-A.

Honorable mentions go out to ramscrota for his cheesy smiling goat, lk2fireone and his suicide kitty, ragingbuddhist for his new cartoonized avatar (also having gotten an honorable mention last year) and Pinkpanther for his new cartoonized avatar. Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 10:04pm

12-14-09  07:34pm - 5449 days #2
Wittyguy (0)
Active User



Posts: 1,138
Registered: Feb 04, '08
Location: Left Coast, USA
Oneman takes home the "WORKING STIFF HERO AWARD" for his thread "Tiny Teen Pass is Ripping Us Off ..."! Oneman exposed yet another unscrupulous site that used deceptive automatic upsell practices to charge his credit card. His words drove PU/TBP staff to ban all of that company's sites from here proving once again that "Even one little guy can make a big difference!" (I'm sure Oneman has that stitched on all his boxers). For his prize Oneman receives a free audio download featuring the sound of one hand clapping and a free membership to 'Maxi-Fatty Teen Pass' (they say bigger is better, right ... just think of this an automatic upgrade). Oneman deserves a thumbs up and if you haven't already, toss a "trust vote" his way.

Although winners usually come from forum postings, the forum wasn't strong enough to contain this next winner. That's right, Pinche Kancun wins the "DARWIN / END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT AWARD"! Pinche managed all of two forum posts, peaking with "Man, screw this forum!! ..." before his loaded gun complex caused him to cock it and pull it. Pinche is more famously remembered for his biblical meltdown in response to a PU Poll question asking if members ever faked reviews (). I'm afraid only Pinche's words can adequately express his true feelings that inspired his epic post ... words like "SO FUCK THOSE POINTS IN THE ASS WITH A BROOMSTICK AND NO VASELINE!!" and "Watch me prove you, Khan, The Bad Man and anyone else wrong!! Oh it's on like Donkey Kong!!! KANKUN BOUT 2 PUT IN WORK!!! >:D" and "Squirrel Dawgy Dawg, I DON'T EVEN WANT THOSE POINTS BACK!! TO HELL WITH THOSE POINTS!!! All I want is show the Wrath of KANKUN!!! Fuck this untrust shit!! Watch me handle my business, DAWG!!!". After this graphic display of volatility, among many others in that post, Pinche self vaporized in an explosive burst of emoticons that nearly destroyed the time/space continuum. This outcome left researchers at the LHC (large hadron collider) rechecking the calibration of their accelerator magnets in hopes that they would avoid a similar result at their maximum energy outputs (still lower than Pinche's), thus saving the world from potential annihilation. Pinche's award, post mortem, is an autographed copy of the "Feeling Good Handbook for some post-life cognitive behavioral therapy. His corpse will star in an upcoming adaptation of "A Christmas Carol" where he plays the ghost of Nuclear Winter, showing the world how a little peace, love and understanding takes gets you no where; while going off like Dick Cheney on an LSD fueled chainsaw massacre of Senate democrats is the only true path to enlightenment. Khan gets an honorable mention for going beyond the call of duty and egging on this admittedly inevitable Vesuvian sized eruption in those poll responses.

We take a short break from our prestigious awards ceremony now in order for people to fling themselves off the nearest bridge, re-swallow their stomach juices or just plain flee. While readers do this, I note that one of the things that I enjoy from the movies is at the end when the credits roll and the producers tell you how the characters turned out after the events from the movie. As such, I bring you the PU "WHERE ARE THEY NOW" list:

Toadsith: Last years winner of "Posterchild of the Year" and "Thread of the Year", Toadsith apparently took me seriously when I suggested his prize was to hit the road to promote the virtues of porn literacy to America. Earlier this year he won the prestigious B.O.N.E. AWARD (Barack Obama Nobel-Prize Enigma Award)" which is handed out to the one person on the internet who gets everyone else excited just by showing up and saying something. Unfortunately, after running into legal problems in River City (here), Toadsith was temporarily in the witness protection program until his cover was blown for being "Mistress No. 38" in the Tiger Woods fiasco. Alas, Toadsith is still on the run, acting as the solo pilot of the PU Hindenberg Porn Literacy Project; guiding it over America in a constant state of mourning over the loss of his Patrick McGoohan avatar - refusing to admit that the recent tv mini-series remake of "The Prisoner" was better than the original. Rumor has it that he may have left his physical body behind, ascending into the ethereal ranks of high-tech Brahmans, his physical form reduced to an essence of Mountain Dew and stale pizza that emanates through cyberspace causing PU members to gush over his virtues and teenage computer nerds to sport wood for the first time.

Cybertoad: First he's here, then he's gone, then he's back and now he's gone again, self publicizing each return and avatar change like it's the second coming. Cybertoad is currently the agent for Brett Favre.

Squirrel: The cynical king of paranoid government conspiracies and unshakeable belief in the inherent corporate corruption of the PU business model, the Squirrel finally surrendered his posting prowess this September. Some say he just got too old and couldn't find his nuts any more. The truth behind his departure is that he learned his astrological sign was nothing more than an orbiting piece of space junk which caused him to bolt into oncoming traffic from sheer grief. You can find Squirrel's avatar as "Mr. June" in the upcoming calendar "Britain's Nastiest Road Kill".

Shooterboo (sports an Oakland Raiders logo for his Avatar) and Nygiants03: Both are currently undergoing electro-shock therapy sessions in hopes that they find it in their heads to root for real football teams in the future.

Roseman: One of our PU leading points members, last year he couldn't decide between buying a Mazda Rx8 or a Puegot convertible (here. Heeding no one's advice from the forum, he ended up getting a Ferrari, couldn't afford the insurance on it, crashed it, lost the lawsuit, and now lives in a van down by the river and gives motivational speeches to teens about how important it is to listen to what unknown and anonymous people tell you to do in porn chat rooms ... especially the girls.

Darealkid: Da'kid was the 2008 winner of the Darwin Award now claimed by Pinche. Da'kid reports that things are going well for him now. While still sporting his motorcycle racing avatar, he claims to have veered off the Highway to Hell after reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" and has found new purpose in life through kegel exercises, hog calling and running a pet rock adoption center. He won the lottery, got his Masters in Sex Therapy, was voted "Most Likely to Overthrow Xenu" at the Evil Knievel School of Scientology and plans to run for U.S. Senate next year in his home state ... the State of Denial.

I'mFucked: No, that's not someone's screen name. That's me should any of these people ever return to the forum. Edited on Dec 16, 2009, 08:38pm

12-14-09  07:34pm - 5449 days #3
Wittyguy (0)
Active User



Posts: 1,138
Registered: Feb 04, '08
Location: Left Coast, USA
We continue on with the awards:

Once again, laughing in the face of hypocrisy, the winner of this years "HILARIOUS POST OF THE YEAR" (to now be renamed "THE ANNUAL WITTYGUY FUCK YOU, I RULE AWARD") is Wittguy for his posts in the thread "Mindset List for 2013". Unable to separate fantasy from reality, Wittyguy spewed out a long and pointless list of factoids that truly displayed the functional idiocy of modern American youth ... along side the functional uselessness of most PUers except serving barbs on his humor harpoon. Never has so much medication been needed to calm a mind so small ... and never have so many PU members been on the wrong end of a single cluster-fuck. Honorable mentions also go out to the following: Wittyguy, for his post in "What I really want for Christmas this year", telling Santa what everyone around here needed for x-mas; Wittyguy for his response in "Name Calling" showing everyone how it's done right; Wittyguy for his "insightful" thread "Rule's for Anal Sex in Porn"; and last but not least, Wittyguy for his description of the perfect female porn star in "The ultimate female porn actress". His award? A Conan the Barbarian doll that responds to the question "What is best in life?" with the reply "To crush your fellow PU members, drive d'em before you and to hear da' lamentations of their women" along with a lifetime supply of "Ego Botox" (sold in suppository form only) and his avatar forever memorialized by being imprinted onto all Zimbabwe one dollar bills ... current exchange rate is $1 to $16 billion US.

Our next award can only be described as truly disturbing. David19 takes home the "NIGHTMARE ON PU STREET AWARD" for his post in "What makes your favorite pornstar ...". For reasons only known only to God and his therapist, David19 decided to not only confess that his mother works as a nude web cam model but also that he sees her shows!!! Succumbing to temptation that normally rates a 1 on a scale to a million, David19 boldly goes beyond where most mortal men would be scratching their eyes out and praying that hell only is only as bad as having their genitals being eternally consumed by a wood chipper as opposed to watching their naked mom feed her personal slot machine. Even Jason and Freddy Krueger think this boy needs a sit down. For his prize, Daniel Radcliffe (of Harry Potter fame) will star as David19 in a play about a boy who goes nuts, strips naked and ... never mind, I guess Daniel's play was called Equus, not Oedipus. Instead David19 gets an State of Arkansas residency card that comes with all the privileges accorded to the citizens of that fine state (let your imagination run here... OK, that's far enough) and gets a job as the permanent punching bag/co-host on the Jerry Springer Show (with followup therapy on Dr. Phil).

Next up is "THREAD OF THE YEAR" going to Atrapat for his thread "Sites that charge more in EUR than USD"! Normally this thread would not qualify as it originally came into existence in 2008. However, Atrapat's disgruntlement over billing processors that charge different membership fees for porn sites based upon where people live inspired numerous threads by Denner (big shock there), Squirrel, Mbaya, and others to take up the cause numerous times this year. All the talk is starting to drive a PU consensus that, like sites that use DRM, sites using regional pricing should be dinged on their PU review scores for allowing such practices. No one likes taking it in the ass while their neighbor across the street gets all the sweet poon for free. Hats off to Atrapat for shining light into assholes of those bastards taking a dump on us. For his prize, Atrapat gets free spelunking lessons, a home colonoscopy kit with instructional dvd, and an appearance an American Idol where he gets to wow us with his rendition of "Another somebody done somebody wrong song".

Next in line is the "SATANIC VERSES AWARD" going to all those who vainly tried to contribute something to the "Fake Breasts" thread. All I can say is "Wow". Never have I seen so many galactic sized posts been written by so many sub-atomic sized minds. I read almost everything in this damn forum and I could not force myself to read more than half the posts without chewing my own leg off. Sure, things started off all fine but I challenge anyone to find anything more mind numbing than a bunch of middle aged porn dudes writing Ph.D. thesis sized posts on the relationship of women's self esteem and societal pressure as it relates to post feminist philosophy as that, in turn, relates to boob jobs. The topper was Exotics4me working himself into a foaming at the mouth OCD meltdown over his views and lashing out at everyone like; well, like a rabid boob-boon (a rare primate known for wildly throwing it's own feces at the mention of the word "boobs"). Disgruntled suicide hotline workers will be directing depressed callers to this thread for the cheap thrill of hearing gunshots going off on the other end of the line. Fraternities will require pledges to memorize passages from this thread as part of their hazing during "Hell Week". Most women who read this thread will immediately undergo double mastectomies in hopes of never having to think about the subject again and the women who don't will issue a "Fatwa" on all your asses for even going there. For all who contributed to this thread, your prize is coupon good for a free exorcism and (from the Dahli Lama himself) the gift that when you die, you will do so while peacefully asleep ... while the passengers in your car die screaming their heads off.

The "THREADS GONE WILD AWARD" goes to all those who contributed to the ultimate display of topical degeneration in the "The ultimate female porn actress" thread. It started with Cybertoad asking for what people wanted in their ideal porn star while he was gone on vacation. What he saw when he came back was that his query quickly morphed into several farcical twists, to Pat362 raising the ugly specter of bestiality (followed by necrophilia), to discussions of whether zombie sex was really necrophilia and concluding with Badandy confessing his love of Spaghettios and a gross out version of "CSI Pornography". 'Nuff said ... at the least the topics never got to truly taboo subjects like bad mullets (is there a good kind?), the Back Street Boys, and sexual experiences with electric fences. Everyone who contributed to this thread gets a copy of the book "Effective Writing Skills: From to A to Z ... and back to L ... and then D but only if you skip the prime numbers in between" and an autographed copy of the porn parody movie entitled "Donkeys and Zombies and Orgies, Oh My!" (banned in all countries that have the technology to actually watch it; much like the PU forum itself). Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 07:54pm

12-14-09  07:34pm - 5449 days #4
Wittyguy (0)
Active User



Posts: 1,138
Registered: Feb 04, '08
Location: Left Coast, USA
Almost done here folks!

Next up we have the "HONEY, I SHRUNK THE FORUM AWARD" going to our psychologist in residence, Exotics4me! The self professed king of OCD was on fine display this past year as he churned out post after post of such length, detail and psychological rigor that some readers almost cared what he had to say. Not only was his previously analyzed output in the "Fake Breasts" thread "awe" inspiring (as in "awe shit, here he goes again"), his discourses in "The psychology of porn actresses" and his nerdishly detailed comparison of Teendreams and 1ByDay in "Which one, teen dreams or ..." induced masturbation complexes (like big pimpin', apparently it ain't easy for everyone), man-boob sensitivity and a strong subconscious lust for their mother in other contributors. Freud would be left beating his head, and his meat, after seeing what his profession has devolved into. For his prize, Exotics4me gets a freudian "manzier" to try and contain his DD sized compulsion to "right the ship" ... when in fact everyone else is driving a car. He also wins a set of Rorschach prints (which are secretly nothing more than a bunch of fuzzy nude Eve Angelina pictures) and a Vulcan mind meld on his ass courtesy of Spock to get him to realize that it's just illogical for a bunch of men to do anything but invoke the spirit of Homer Simpson by sitting still, staring blissfully off into space and drooling on themselves when the word "boobs" comes up.

The "MR. CREOSOTE AWARD" goes to BadAndy400 for his posts in "Why do girls gag themselves when giving blow jobs?". For those of you not familiar with the Monty Python movie "The Meaning of Life", I present Mr. Creosote and the barf-fest scene, via you-tube, here. Already a risque topic to begin with, Badandy drives it right over the cliff by stating: "Throat banging a woman until she pukes all over herself is not typically the kind of thing you ask a woman to do on the first date". Apparently Badandy is a suave and tactful kind of guy who waits until the second date before asking some girl to smoke his vomit comet. Not willing to leave well enough alone, he adds: "Vomiting is one of those thing that for me can be really erotic, or really gross. It just depends on how it is done.... I have a scene somewhere of a good looking girl deepthroating this dude and vomiting repeatedly. This scene is okay because the girl was into it and made it seem sexy somehow." Still not done, Badandy subjects us to this final tasty tidbit: "Remember, it is still food even if it comes back up, in which case it is still fun to play with. Once it starts in the intestines it stops being food and is reclassified as poopy. Poopy is bad! Poopy is meant for flushing or throwing during riots, that is ALL!"

Really BadAndy? Is that "ALL"? All anyone can say in response to that one is "TMI": most people translate that as "too much information" although it can also mean "three mile island" (the results are toxic to everyone downwind in either case). I can't honestly say that I've heard women talk about how "sexy" it is when some dude barfs while eating them out ... my guess is if that happens it's more about her lack of personal hygiene statement than it is an expression of love. And you wonder why the mother ship left you behind? Factoring in what we know of his idea of a good time along with his method of controlling unruly behavior, the next time Badandy throws a big party he shouldn't be surprised if no one shows because "My toaster needs waxing" or "Sorry, I found this dead skunk and I'm just dying to eat it's ass for dinner". For his prize, Badandy gets a can of Spaghettios (eaten and "reprocessed" by some "hot chick") with meatballs (processed out the other end) and his very own podcast series where he "dishes out" on how to wine and dine the ladies. He also gets a lifetime membership to the on-line dating site "Girls Who Want To Auto-Asphyxiate Guys on a First Date".

We conclude the awards portion of the ceremonies with the dubious "MR. IRRELEVANT AWARD". This title, usually given to the last person taken in the NFL draft, goes to person with the least interesting thread.. This year's winner is Drooler for his thread "Models Who Project a Feeling of Instant Familiarity" (not worth a link). No replies; not even a pity post. Apparently most people assumed that kind of familiarity involves a rub-a-dub-tug session with themselves, which didn't require any direction from Drooler. Other PUers have had zero replies to threads but they're usually are newbies recently escaped from mental asylums. He wouldn't have won but for his later thread on a similar topic ("Girls Who Have Improved Their Sex Appeal") which got 2 measly replies. Drooler, the girls who improve their sex appeal are the ones who take their clothes off! No need for discussion here. Just put down the keyboard and leave the threads to the professionals. His prize is a large petrified forum turd that Khan found sweeping up after a recent spam attack ... at least Drooler will have something from the forum that has withstood the test of time. I'll also toss in a double redundancy double irrelevant winner for this prize going out to Whiteflag for his thread "I am looking for a particular music (song?) that appeared in a Latina porn movie" that got one pity post. WTF?!? Wouldn't just putting some polka record on the turntable and cranking up the speed dial induce the same level of nausea you're looking for, Whiteflag? His prize is a sombrero clad Austin Powers doll that plays Mexican t.v. game show music while endlessly repeating the phrase "Does this make you horny, baby?". Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 10:14pm

12-14-09  07:34pm - 5449 days #5
Wittyguy (0)
Active User



Posts: 1,138
Registered: Feb 04, '08
Location: Left Coast, USA
As usual, we conclude the ceremonies with various quips and quotes from the forum that I found amusing over this last year. Also, please be kind and help home other PU members who may have passed out after choking on the week old Chinese buffet, gotten distracted by the donkey show in the parking lot or can't find their own underwear in the coatcheck. Please don't file any lawsuits until after the holidays as my attorney is out of town 'til then. Also, keep an eye out for when Tiger Woods returns to the PGA tour and he's sporting a sweet "PU Forum Awards" logo on his cap ... 'cause you know I can afford his asking price come then. Keep on posting and remember ... be afraid -- be very afraid of the 2010 PUey's!
___________________________________________________________

TheSquirrel in the thread "Is it time for a forum upgrade" thread regarding duplicate posts suddenly cropping up on PU - "I've been repeating myself all day. I said I've been repeating myself all day. I'm staring to think I'm Foghorn Leghorn. Fix that bug, I said I said fix that bug."

Lk2fireone in "To review or not to review" thread - "I always figure that my reviews are the best ones written here, since I'm the only one whose opinion is worth thinking about. I think my reviews should have won a Nobel prize for literature by this time, except for the stigma that I've been writing about porn sites."

Wittyguy in "The 'Politics' Thread" thread - "According to Khan, the PU health infirmary is filling up with cases of temporary blindness, hand cramps, tunnel carpal syndrome and euro snatch fever."

Riffy (Scottish PU member) in "New Star Trek Movie" thread - "The perfect Hollywood film would have zombies and dinosaurs from the future battling with aliens. Scantily clad ladies would make the occasional appearance. Stuff would get blown up. Robots would run riot too." Wittyguy replied "Aren't you describing Glasgow on a Saturday night? With as much as Scots drink I figure that's what they're seeing half the time anyway."

Turboshaft in "Rules for Anal Sex in Porn" thread (discussing the rule that double anal is just gay sex) - "Could two dongs make a right here?"

Iknoporn in "New Avatar" thread - "Who says cold weather makes it small?", Wittyguy responds - "If that were the case wouldn't the Canadian's and Russian's be the focal point of all those big cock sites instead of the black guys? (GreenlandGoliaths and EskimoCreamPies would probably be the pinnacle of said genre ;)

Badandy400 in "Reviewers vs. Collectors" thread - "Spaghettioes is like porn, it should not be messed with."

Wittyguy in "Rules for Anal Sex in Porn" thread - "Farting in real life can be amusing (God knows I got a Ph.D. in it) ...". Turboshaft replied - "Does this mean we have to call you Dr. Wittyguy from now on?"

Squirrel "Perversion Anyone?" thread - "Oh god, we lost the British car industry, now we don't even have a decent spanking site we can call our own.

Ragingbuddhist in "What makes your favorite porn star ..." thread - "I really don't have a favorite - but the ones I do like it's because they fuck for cameras : - )"

Wittyguy "Shooting Porn in Public" thread - "I can think of a lot of people who have good self esteem about themselves and their bodies without having been raised in (shift to high pitched Eric Cartmen voice) "some goddamn hippie nudist colony".

Cybertoad in "Gonzo" thread discussing pubic hair - "I mean I do not want to have to break out a weedeater to get to the pond. But I also do not want desert sand in the Sahara either". Reply by Messmer - "I remember reading all those smutty books in my misguided youth where the women always had a "luxuriant" bush and it was meant as a compliment."

Wittyguy "Newbie Question" thread (responding to Squirrel's quip about "security penguins") - "Does that mean that Messmer's avatar is going to show up and hump my leg?

BadAndy400 in "What makes your favorite pornstar ..." thread (responding to Messmer losing a hard drive of porn) - "It is a terrible thing to lose that much porn, trust me I have done it before. The porn gods [will] strike you down and punish you with erectile dysfunction." Later, Turboshaft added (on Messmer surpassing Badandy's porn collection) - "Unless you meant to say you just ordered a pallet of 1 TB external hard drives (which I am pretty sure is how badandy orders them :), I don't think you're going to catch up to him."

Drooler in "Models/girls - and acting" thread (referencing his and Denner's same outlook) - "Go ahead. Say it: "Drenner" (or "Dooler")". Wittyguy replied - "Twins separated at birth but brought together by their lust for boobs and butts (the Double B's)." To which Pat362 added - "And like twins they both seem to have a fascination with canines"

Mr. Smut in "Burger King Butts" thread - "Also I would like to know what differs a Burger King Butt from a Mc Donald's Butt. I'd expect the second one to be less tasty ;-)" to which Ragingbuddhist replied - "A Burger King butt is grilled, not fried." Drooler later replied - "Actually, I think there should be a fast-food restaurant called "Booty Queen!" There could be standard sandwiches like "The Big Crack" and the "Fish-Smell Filet." And of course the "Tiny Ass" vegetarian option. And when you want to super-size it, you have to say, "Make mine All Jiggly (TM)!"

Drooler in "Thoughts on Fisting?" thread - "I've long considered many a porn star and/or model to have what in multiple intelligence theory is called a high bodily-kinesthetic intelligence. So fisting from that standpoint fisting is just plain fucking smart."

BadAndy400 in "Please help me find the first porn movie I ever watched." thread - "Try going to your moms house and try looking behind the air vent in your old bedroom.... you might have hid it there!"

Drooler in "Sites with Pictures of Actual Women" thread - "Yeah, "No Shellac at In the Crack." Hey, that's kinda catchy."

Cybertoad in "Dirty talk"thread - "wow $9.00 for a 53mb file, hmmm picdude that is very expensive. You could get a BJ on th street corner for 10.00, plus crabs, herpes, genital worts, possible your picture on COPS. Plus the waiting to see if your penis falls off in 30 days or less."

Drooler - His signature line for forum posts in November - "Don't be a sexist. Bitches hate that."

Wittyguy in "What is good and bad taste ..." thread (referring to the misspelling of "erotic" as "erptic") - "Erptic" is one of those words that sounds foreign and if it actually were a word I'm sure would translate into something cool like "Arabic for the 'love eyes of a camel'" or "Ukrainian word describing the explosive combination of Mentos and cheap Vodka" or "Bulgarian in origin, referencing the sport of nude cow tipping". Toadsith responded with - "it could be a simple descriptor used by Mongolian tribesman that means "Needs Velcro".

Squirrel in "Solo girl 'non-nude' sites ..?" thread as to why anyone would join one - "To me it is just silly. A bit like paying the price of a 4 month round the world cruise and getting a weekend in Frinton-On-Sea."

Drooler in "Vaginal Queif" thread - "Vag farts can smell nice. Ass farts never do, unless they're my own."

WeeWillyWinky in "Post your desktop" thread - "guess I better not post my desktop. I'd hate for people to see my "granny-panties" folder, or worse yet, my "Asian midget female wrestlers with legs in casts and 'my face is up here ^' t-shirts folder"

Drooler in a previous signature/tag line of his - "Big cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone."

Ragingbuddhist in "Free gift to users with 100 posts ..." thread (replying to a slam on his new avatar) -"That was feel the rage, not feed the rage!"

Lk2fireone in "External harddrive" thread (responding about a guy who had a hard drive in his artificial finger) - "If he sticks his finger up his ass, would that be considered an external or internal hard drive?"

Ragingbuddhist in "Quantity vs. Quality" thread (responding to Stalin being a PU porn hound if were alive) - "Would Stalin prefer Evil Angel or Wicked? Inquiring minds want to know". Wittyguy replies "His PU tag line would read sort of like a McDonald's sign "20 million citizens killed and counting". Definitely not someone you'd want to flame on."

Drooler in "Generation gap" thread - "There might be a "degeneration gap." It takes a while to become a bona fide dirty old man." Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 08:04pm

12-14-09  07:55pm - 5449 days #6
Wittyguy (0)
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Turboshaft in "How would your porn stash score on a review" thread - "My organizational skills would probably destroy Google in a matter of seconds." Wittyguy responds - "We shall call this the "Turboshaft Porn Principle". The lower your personal score is, the better your stash."

Toadsith in "Masturbation is the cure for Hay Fever" thread - "I wonder if the Weather Channel will start playing porn on high pollen count days. After all, it would be a good public service to help the public service themselves."

Wittyguy in "Would you give a monogrammed gift ..." thread (discussing bad names celebrities give their kids) - "At least you don't hear about pornstars naming their kids D.P., Hardon, Fluffer, Drooler (oops ;), or Gaper."

Turboshaft in "Paysites - economic/longterm ..." thread - "I think porn is like food in the way we can so easily bite off way more than we can chew"

Mr. Smut in "Watching Porn in Public" thread - "... people are inhaling secondhand smut." Turboshaft later adds "Next thing we know there are going to be surgeon general warnings on DVDs and home pages. Something like "WARNING: Porn viewing causes blindness, forearm fatigue, hard drive failure, and may complicate marriage."

Wittyguy in "Star Trek" thread - "Yeah, anyone who wore a red shirt in the original trek pretty much was doomed to not come back from the mission. You might have figured that Star Fleet Command would have picked up on that and dressed them in pink or some other color aliens find less palatable ... Then again, it wouldn't have been Star Trek unless Kirk boldly went no man had been before ... and I bet he got the bizarre cases of VD that made McCoy a legend in the medical journals of his century."

Squirrel in "Baseball season begins ..." thread - "I may not count cos I'm a brit ...." Lk2fireone replies "That's right, you don't count." Squirrel, same thread, recounts the rules of cricket - "The bowler is patted on the back by his team mates who congratulate him for hitting the batsman in the rib cage. They tell him next time to aim for the testicles. It's a real gentleman's game."

Ragingbuddhist in "Pubic Hair?" thread - "Bring Back the Bush! (and I don't mean the G.W. variety)." Drooler later added, regarding shaving products - "I'd say it's less harmful that a lot of the Big Pharma crap that gets advertised on TV these days! It's like, "Ask your doctor if dying in agony from taking this shit is right for you!"

Wittyguy in "Panties on or off?" thread - "Seeing some girl just sitting there petting her pelvis through her grundies or yanking on her g-string like it's a slot machine arm isn't exactly high art."

Pat362 in "Boob-jobs" thread - "I'm curious to know how a breast with an implant feels in the mouth. Does it feel like your eating 3 day old jello?"

Wittyguy in "czechpornostars.com" thread about the Famous Yellow Couch - "Perhaps it should be re-acronymed as TFYC for "the famous yellow couch". That way, we can commission The Village People to come out of retirement and do a song about it ("You can go banging on the TTTT-FFFF-Y-C"). Drooler can dress up in his favorite cowboy outfit and feel right at home singing along with the oldies updated ;)" Wittyguy (same thread later discusses a new product) - "KUM-BOOM: It gets the jizz out!"

Ragingbuddhist in "Webmaster Rankings?" thread (responding to webmaster Riffy saying "I'm up to my neck in work just now") - "Send some of your girls my way - I'd be happy to take ease that burden of yours. (I think I had to put it that way - Share the load didn't quite sound right...)"

JD1961 in" Videos/Crystal Player"thread - "That's the great thing about software---it doesn't rust!"

Drooler in "Did you see the latest fetish?"thread - "Nose picking! When a guy does it, it's gross. But when a hot babe does it, different story!! Women are amazing! At least the niche has generated a "flicker" of excitement and interest in "NTM." What's next? Booger swapping?"

Turboshaft in "How important is a cum shot?" thread - "Try and make it natural, as if was going to happen, not only after the guy nearly sprains his wrist in the 'spontaneity' of the moment."

Lk2fireone in "Do you think people having more sex ..." thread (about William Shatner) - "The greatest love of all is his self-love. Does he masturbate? Every time he opens his mouth, I think he's wrapping it around his penis."

Drooler in "Topless in NY" thread (regarding a law about women being able to go topless) - "It's been the "breast-kept" secret in years!"

PinkPanther in "Anyone use Bridge to Look at Porn?" thread (discussing the "Bridge" download program) - "Bridge? - no. Checkers for me"

Badandy in "Generation gap" thread - "Pubic hair is kinda like having a bra that never comes off."

Wittyguy in "Sex on Your Cell" thread - "I assume most of the consumers for cell phone porn are those who flaunt their youth to world by annoying the Geritol crowd with their 'too much information' phone chats held at hog calling contest decibel levels in public" Squirrel added later "I'm just not interested in something that small (now where have I heard that before)?"

Ragingbuddhist in "Where on earth do they find these girls" thread regarding how sites find new talent - "Aisle 10 at the Piggly Wiggly and Hertz Rent-a-Slut"

Capn in "For Breast Lovers ..." thread describing his size chart vs. vocabulary for breasts -"Titlets : Where are they?"

Wittyguy in "Computer Setup" thread - "No wonder the Taliban have laws against porn, they don't have enough technology to actually store it."

JayG in "Abbywinters office raided ..." thread - "Remember the old saying, 'Most women don't like prostitution because it lowers the price...."

JD 1961 in "DRM protected ..." thread (responding to the question "What does DRM mean?") - "It means I don't enjoy the site, even for $1."

Badandy400 in "The ultimate female porn actress ..." thread - "I am planning on being a dirty old bastard. 1 bag of Viagra in one hand, my cock in the other, and my face planted in a 20 year old woman's breasts......then I wake up and realize my cock has not been hard in 15 years, Viagra has been outlawed, and the only breasts I ever see are hanging out of the bottom of the shirt of the 95 year old hag next to me in the nursing home."

Turboshaft in "If You Could Have an Action Figure of a Porn Star" thread - "Cytherea (one of porn's top squirters). Her action figure would be like a Super Soaker .... Plus you can also use it to water your Ron Jeremy Chia Pet." Same thread he later adds, "I wonder what the Chinese think when they are making Americans' cheap sex toys. Maybe if they are in a good mood they don't put so much lead in the mix."

Wittyguy in "Cleaning LCD Screens" thread (responding to the thread title) - "I believe the manufacturer suggested cleaning method would be to make sure the screen is plugged in and hop in the shower with it for some "electrifying" results." To which Turboshaft replied "Yeah, how else are you going to clean both the inside and outside?" RagingBuddhist added "I use a belt sander and brake fluid. Works wonders."

Toadsith in "Fake Breasts!" thread (on why he sometimes watches vids featuring models with implants) - "I'm at most watching them be fondled or more like watching them not move much while the attached model is being plowed by the woodsman of choice. Everything is overdone, fake and repetitive, but I still occasionally eat at McDonald's because it is fast, easy and gets the job done."

Lk2fireone in "first anniversary"thread regarding Toadsith's extended forum absence - "Is Toadsith like the Ghost of Christmas Past, somebody who sticks in our memory but was never really there?"

Ragingbuddhist in "Informal Survey" thread (responding to if any PU'ers find pantyhose sexy) - "don't find them sexy - but they're invaluable when robbing banks."

Capn's joke from "Italian Friends on the Bus" thread - "A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: 'Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.' The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly. 'In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives. 'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi '!"


(the friggin' end :) Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 08:05pm

12-14-09  09:27pm - 5449 days #7
turboshaft (0)
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Hilarious awards! Will keep me laughing for the rest of the year (okay, it's only 2 weeks, but still).

Also, thanks for quoting me; I feel honored and humbled and whatever the hell else you should feel. I still say it's been a decent year here at PU: sure, maybe not enough of us got laid, but no one got laid off either (I mean from their 'jobs' downloading and reviewing porn), though a few did have their accounts disabled, which has still got to be better than having an account disabled at your bank.

Maybe we should start a best of/worst of PU list (not awards) for 2009 since there are more and more of those damn things every year, and now they have them for the decade too.

Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


Wittyguy in "Rules for Anal Sex in Porn" thread "Farting in real life can be amusing (God knows I got a Ph.D. in it) ". Turboshaft replied - "Does this mean we have to call you Dr. Wittyguy from now on?"


Lol! I had completely forgot about this, doc! Maybe we can compromise and call you professor?

"That's Professor Wittyguy, PhD!" :) "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove Edited on Dec 14, 2009, 11:13pm

12-14-09  09:43pm - 5449 days #8
Drooler (0)
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Again, Wittyguy is staggeringly hilarious.

I'll have to admit that I started a few "bomb" threads that never went anywhere. Who knows? It could happen again!

But I did get recognition for simply using as tag lines things that I'd seen on t-shirts and bathroom walls. Not bad! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.

12-15-09  07:47am - 5448 days #9
lk2fireone (0)
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Location: CA
Wittyguy, funniest post(s) I've read since I don't know when. Better keep your home address a secret, or the guys in white coats might come around to drag you away. You obviously have talent, and are one of the main treasures of the PU community.

12-15-09  09:02am - 5448 days #10
Denner (0)
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Posts: 1,217
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Location: Denmark
How does this self-righteous besserwisser knows that I'm half pissed from - not buttercookies - but from good danish or czech beer and fine polish vodka or danish snaps, when I babble out things here at PU....???
Take care, folks - this PU is monitoring your PCs - Klaphat!
(the last word is danish - find out if you can...)
He must be speding most of his time at PU to come up with all this - bet he's working for the goverment....and has access to the peruvian PNP (secret police) for freely invented intelligence about certain PUs behaviour, IQ ect.
This is a very dangerous man...................LOL, but stil a Klaphat! (and in danish it's not namecalling)


God Jul
or:
Merry Christmas "I don't drink anymore - I freeze it, and eat it like a popcicle" Edited on Dec 15, 2009, 09:13am

12-15-09  09:39am - 5448 days #11
messmer (0)
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Location: Canada
Thanks once again this year for the hilarious Forum Awards, witty. Can't wait to see next year's and am already trying to come up with a memorable line or title so I'll be able to move up from honorable mentions to a major award.

In the meantime, re honorable mention:

I want to thank wittyguy for this prestigious semi-award, I want to thank my older brother for his hidden stash of porn. I want to thank the guys in Grade 6 for cluing me in re. the birds and the bees and their generous sharing of educational material regarding the subject matter. If it hadn't been for you fellas I probably wouldn't be in this forum today. Love ya, guys!

12-15-09  09:40am - 5448 days #12
Rick (0)
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We need a "Legendary" badge for Wittyguy. I can't even imagine how much time went into this. Bravo man. The Best Porn - Ultimate Consumer Guide to Porn
Porn Users - Porn Review by the People
Ranks.com, Inc., Chief/Founder

12-15-09  09:48am - 5448 days #13
RagingBuddhist (0)
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Holy shit, Witty! These guys are right - you've got way too much time to spend on this site. You even brought up stuff I'd forgotten I said. But, as seems to be your usual, GOOD JOB! It was a fun read! Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity.

12-15-09  10:24am - 5448 days #14
Capn (0)
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A finely crafted piece of work.....

Probably only to be surpassed by next years effort ;0)

:0) Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU Award
Hilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award
( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/
Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder!

12-15-09  10:53am - 5448 days #15
Wittyguy (0)
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x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:54pm

12-15-09  11:08am - 5448 days #16
RagingBuddhist (0)
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You might as well get pinned* by the forum - you've obviously been going steady with it already.

*Not old enough to remember it actually happening, just old enough to know what it means(?) Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity.

12-15-09  11:52am - 5448 days #17
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by Denner:


This is a very dangerous man...................LOL, but stil a Klaphat! (and in danish it's not namecalling)


Wittyguy is an "opera hat"? That's the translation I got. Maybe it's some kind of metaphor? I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.

12-15-09  12:10pm - 5448 days #18
Denner (0)
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Originally Posted by Drooler:


Wittyguy is an "opera hat"? That's the translation I got. Maybe it's some kind of metaphor?


It's a metaphor for a certain kind of 'hat' - and the people wearing them - used a soccer-matches. see these:

http://i2-images.tv2.dk/s/59/1867859-aaf...7326db8acf45d3f.jpeg

and this Very special version:

http://hodja.files.wordpress.com/2008/05...udenrigsminister.jpg "I don't drink anymore - I freeze it, and eat it like a popcicle"

12-15-09  12:31pm - 5448 days #19
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by Denner:


It's a metaphor for a certain kind of 'hat' - and the people wearing them - used a soccer-matches. see these:

http://i2-images.tv2.dk/s/59/1867859-aaf...7326db8acf45d3f.jpeg

and this Very special version:

http://hodja.files.wordpress.com/2008/05...udenrigsminister.jpg


Ohh, okay! Well, when I read the description, there was mention of a "fur lining," too. Now I think understand. Yep, pretty sure.

Thanks!

And I guess that a certain Danish foreign minister wasn't very popular, huh? I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Dec 15, 2009, 12:35pm

12-15-09  02:31pm - 5448 days #20
lk2fireone (0)
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Thanks to Denner, for the URL below. I finally see what the "Mr. Head-up-his-ass" avatar that Wittyguy sometimes uses was based on:

http://hodja.files.wordpress.com/2008/05...udenrigsminister.jpg Edited on Dec 15, 2009, 03:44pm

12-15-09  07:17pm - 5448 days #21
pat362 (0)
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Location: canada
Bravo, Bravo, Bravo. As always you take the mundane and make it into a masterpiece. We may have to rename you. How about Senior Leonardo Wittyguy? Long live the Brown Coats.

12-16-09  10:37am - 5447 days #22
Tree Rodent (0)
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Location: UK
Officially I'm not here. However just had to say excellent stuff. I pop in most days to see who says what, and most of it is very entertaining. Rumours of my death are completely true. I died about 10 years ago. Agree with most things with the one exception - think ik2fireone currently has the best avatar. Gotta go before "they" get me. Although if they do, they will only find half the man I was, which is only about half the man I thought I used to be when I was alive.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone. (You too Pinche, if you're still out there) Edited on Dec 16, 2009, 10:44am

12-17-09  11:31pm - 5446 days #23
Toadsith (0)
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Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


Toadsith: Last years winner of "Posterchild of the Year" and "Thread of the Year", Toadsith apparently took me seriously when I suggested his prize was to hit the road to promote the virtues of porn literacy to America. Earlier this year he won the prestigious B.O.N.E. AWARD (Barack Obama Nobel-Prize Enigma Award)" which is handed out to the one person on the internet who gets everyone else excited just by showing up and saying something. Unfortunately, after running into legal problems in River City (here), Toadsith was temporarily in the witness protection program until his cover was blown for being "Mistress No. 38" in the Tiger Woods fiasco. Alas, Toadsith is still on the run, acting as the solo pilot of the PU Hindenberg Porn Literacy Project; guiding it over America in a constant state of mourning over the loss of his Patrick McGoohan avatar - refusing to admit that the recent tv mini-series remake of "The Prisoner" was better than the original. Rumor has it that he may have left his physical body behind, ascending into the ethereal ranks of high-tech Brahmans, his physical form reduced to an essence of Mountain Dew and stale pizza that emanates through cyberspace causing PU members to gush over his virtues and teenage computer nerds to sport wood for the first time.


It was a smart move in posting to the 2008 PU Awards thread - as it awoke the Toadsith. I thought I'd build up a new avatar to mark the occasion. The PU Hindenburg hasn't quite gotten off the ground yet, I'm thinking of retrofitting a large caravan, inspired by James May's attempt. Though I'd rather use a real airship instead of a hot air balloon, landings are a bit more controlled that way...

Nor have I had a chance to see the new version of "The Prisoner", though it's rather bland critical reception doesn't make it much of a priority I think. Still, I'm a bit curious.

Also, I promised Tiger there wouldn't be any comments. So let's stick to that.

I'm glad to see the forum is still thriving, I'll try to work it back into my routine. I'm sure there is some interesting discussion I can veer off into the realm of the mega-tangent. "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

12-18-09  11:26am - 5445 days #24
Wittyguy (0)
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x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:55pm

12-18-09  11:56am - 5445 days #25
Toadsith (0)
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Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


Ohhh, does that mean we get see the PU Caravan Demolition Derby as part of the New Year's Day festivities?

I am a bit puzzled by the new avatar as it appears to look like some creepy old pedophile priest "making love eyes" at the altar boy more than McGoohan. Is there anything you're wanting to secretly confess to here Toadsith?


Haha, yeah, I think I need to refine it a bit, I was going for that sketched look about it, but it just sort of looks disturbing now... I'll pop-up a quick fix for the time being :-P

A Caravan Demolition Derby would be good fun! Though just a general Caravan Demolition Party, not limiting it to the Derby format, might be more enjoyable - then you can use explosives! "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

12-18-09  12:12pm - 5445 days #26
lk2fireone (0)
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I always had great respect for both Toadsith (great technical knowledge of visual arts and a complete, concise approach to site reviews) and Patrick McGoohan (as an actor). This McGoohan avatar seems a little creepy for the Christmas holiday. Edited on Dec 18, 2009, 04:57pm

12-18-09  07:01pm - 5445 days #27
turboshaft (0)
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Posts: 1,958
Registered: Apr 01, '08
Originally Posted by Toadsith:


It was a smart move in posting to the 2008 PU Awards thread - as it awoke the Toadsith. I thought I'd build up a new avatar to mark the occasion. The PU Hindenburg hasn't quite gotten off the ground yet, I'm thinking of retrofitting a large caravan, inspired by James May's attempt. Though I'd rather use a real airship instead of a hot air balloon, landings are a bit more controlled that way...

Nor have I had a chance to see the new version of "The Prisoner", though it's rather bland critical reception doesn't make it much of a priority I think. Still, I'm a bit curious.

Also, I promised Tiger there wouldn't be any comments. So let's stick to that.

I'm glad to see the forum is still thriving, I'll try to work it back into my routine. I'm sure there is some interesting discussion I can veer off into the realm of the mega-tangent.


He's back! And with a creepy avatar to boot. At first glance it looks like a black and white photo of Rocco Siffredi with a Santa hat. Or is that what you look like after three months away from PU? "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove

12-22-09  11:34am - 5441 days #28
Toadsith (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


I always had great respect for both Toadsith (great technical knowledge of visual arts and a complete, concise approach to site reviews) and Patrick McGoohan (as an actor). This McGoohan avatar seems a little creepy for the Christmas holiday.


Thanks for the kind remarks! Yeah, the new avatar was too creepy, I went back to the old one until I can come up with something better :-P "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

12-22-09  11:37am - 5441 days #29
Toadsith (0)
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Originally Posted by turboshaft:


He's back! And with a creepy avatar to boot. At first glance it looks like a black and white photo of Rocco Siffredi with a Santa hat. Or is that what you look like after three months away from PU?


LOL, that's a good point! Rocco Siffredi is indeed looking old these days. The Calvin Kline model has left and what remains is rather creepy, overly tanned sex hound. I think one of those is also running Italy right now.... "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"

Second Grand Order Poobah in the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo

01-25-10  10:31pm - 5407 days #30
badandy400 (0)
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Registered: Mar 02, '08
Location: ohio
That is too funny Wittyguy. I actually laughed so hard I cried! I wish I had not waited so long to come back and check them out! "For example, badandy400 has taken it upon himself to become the one man Library of Congress for porn with a collection that surely will be in Guinness Book of World Records some day." ~Toadsith~

PU Interview

01-26-10  09:38am - 5406 days #31
messmer (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 2,582
Registered: Sep 12, '07
Location: Canada
Originally Posted by badandy400:


That is too funny Wittyguy. I actually laughed so hard I cried! I wish I had not waited so long to come back and check them out!


Hey, badandy, glad to see you back. I missed your contributions.

01-26-10  01:40pm - 5406 days #32
Wittyguy (0)
Active User



Posts: 1,138
Registered: Feb 04, '08
Location: Left Coast, USA
x Edited on Apr 20, 2023, 01:55pm

01-26-10  09:04pm - 5406 days #33
badandy400 (0)
Active User



Posts: 869
Registered: Mar 02, '08
Location: ohio
Well I have to come up with really strange things to post so that I am sure get a few awards next year. Boy does that make me sound like a 16 year old girl with AWS (Attention Whore Syndrome). "For example, badandy400 has taken it upon himself to become the one man Library of Congress for porn with a collection that surely will be in Guinness Book of World Records some day." ~Toadsith~

PU Interview

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