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02-22-10  12:29pm - 5416 days #22
Drooler (0)
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Posts: 1,831
Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA 		Petra here was a foxy vixen. She also showed up at VirtuaGirl, Pure Beauty Magazine, Simon Scans, and Pier999. About half those sites are either gone or only archives now. I'd say she was very "Czech" body-wise. Really, really nice ass. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-21-10  05:28pm - 5417 days #3
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA
Originally Posted by PinkPanther:


One of my absolute faves in porn - Ginger Lynn - a VERY YOUNG Ginger Lynn - in Ball Busters - an Alex DeRezny flick when Alex D was doing amazing stuff. There's a great tease scene, then it goes into the sex scene and the first image is Ginger with a cock down her throat to the root and she's pulling back - it's an amazing image, Ginger was sensational.


Absolutely agree. She had such a beautiful body, trim but with such curves along with that big-hair '80's doo. I was at one of "vintage" sites today (sorry, can't remember which one) and there was a sample vid of her doing it doggy style. Poor quality, but Ginger shone through just the same. She was super fine!

Getting back to the question, there are several scenes that have burned into my memory. One is of Julie Silver at ATK Premium getting it belly down flat on a bathroom floor. It lasts and lasts. I don't think it's up there any more, though.

Another is softcore, from Evelyn Lory's official site back in the days before it became Tom Veller's. She slowly works off her clothes, turns her back to the camera, pulls down her pants and her ass pops out in full-screen view.

Really, can a girl's ass look better than hers? I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-21-10  08:52am - 5418 days #2
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Jaimie was a guy who really seemed to appreciate the "belly down flat" position. I've always wondered if he insisted on it. One of the few scenes of Annette Haven doing that was in Lust At First Bite, with Mr. Gillis doing the honors. Same thing with Ginger Lynn. I just blow a fuse when I watch that shit.

Maybe part of the reason why he did so well was MOTIVATION. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Feb 21, 2010, 05:06pm
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02-19-10  11:50pm - 5419 days #20
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by Capn:


That reminds me of a rather bizarre but true anecdote.

A company I used to work for, gave all employees a Turkey for Christmas.
We were given a token & we had to go down to the butcher & collect it.
One year ours was a particularly large one & it wouldn't fit in the oven.
In frustration my wife opened the kitchen door and threw it down the garden path. As it bounced down the path, she said.
'I bet you thought you'd never fly again!'

Cap'n. :0)


That's hilarious! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-18-10  02:39pm - 5420 days #8
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


I'll post my review on the whole enchilada sometime next week.


Well, on that note, seems that there's a little too much "cheese on the taco" with those 21st Sextury sites. As in cheesy webmastering, messed up links, and as a result, missed Tacotunities.

I was just about to rejoin Club Sandy after being away since, believe it or not, July of 2007. Now I'm recoiling. I don't want another messed up site to fuck with this weekend. Let's just say I'm already sated in that department.

Thanks to all for being on the same wavelength. Thanks Vegas Ken for switching it on and tuning it in. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-17-10  05:42pm - 5421 days #16
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


There's a free program called 7-Zip that handles zip and rar. So far I haven't discovered any bugs and I've been using it for almost two years.


Hey, Messmer, thanks for the 7-zip tip. I'd tried exotics way (renaming a .rar file extension to .zip), but it never worked. Found and downloaded 7-zip, which only takes a couple of mg of space, and it was easy to figure out and use right away. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-17-10  02:14pm - 5421 days #5
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


Did you see the comment on one of the recent (yesterday's?) sets by someone called Eric?: too many pictures of women fully clothed and not enough nudes. Paraphrased! GASP!

If he is not one of the photographers but one of their subscribers I can't see a great change coming. You somehow have to please that segment too.

If most of my subscribers weren't interested in the subtleties of a nice, gradual strip I would cater to their taste, it only makes good business sense. That's why I told the webmaster I would make no more comments re. my expectations. One can't please everyone, and he does have a super site he's trying to build, so, let the majority decide there.


The problem with letting the majority decide, when it comes to matters of taste, is that what is considered popular is too often mediocre. In short, popularity does not mean quality.

But it's probably good for business! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-17-10  12:40pm - 5421 days #18
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA
Originally Posted by Capn:


Then there is the old 1970s' T-Shirt depicting two vultures sat on the branches of a dead tree.

One says.

'Patience, my ass!.........I'm gonna kill something!'

Cap'n. :0)


One of my favorites from the early '70's, though it is certainly not an era-bound observation:
"What you see is what you get." I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-17-10  03:13am - 5422 days #14
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by turboshaft:


Don't forget about the rock band the Turkeys. ;)


I knew I was missing something! And let's not forget to throw in that Steve Miller classic, "Fly Like a Turkey." I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-16-10  03:17pm - 5422 days #10
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


Ben Franklin suggested the turkey as our (U.S.) national emblem. But they chose the eagle instead. At least, that's what I seem to remember from my high school days, which seems to be pre-historic in 2010.

Edit: I did a google on Franklin and the turkey. Here's what I found:

Did Ben really want the turkey to be the symbol of the United States of America?
In a letter to his daughter, Benjamin Franklin wrote:

For my own part I wish the Eagle had not been chosen the representative of our country. He is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead tree near the river, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labor of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a fish, and is bearing it to his nest for the support of his mate and young ones, the Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.
With all this injustice, he is never in good case but like those among men who live by sharping & robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our country...
"I am on this account not displeased that the figure is not known as a Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the truth the Turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America . . . He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his farm yard with a red coat on.


What would have happened to all of those great movie and other titles?

The Turkey Has Landed
Where Turkeys Dare
The Day of the Turkey
Iron Turkey
Turkey Eye
The Turkey Path

ETC. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-15-10  01:54pm - 5423 days #2
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-13-10  02:09pm - 5425 days #4
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Yes, Wittyguy, all of our monikers are just partially decrypted codes for messages needed to establish, once and for all, the New World Order. In fact, I saw yours on the back of an interstate road sign.

But what am I telling YOU for? I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-13-10  09:20am - 5426 days #3
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA
Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


On the other side of the Darwin Awards:

Larry Causey held up the U.S. Post Office in West Monroe, La. He went out to the parking lot and waited for the cops. Larry had heard that federal regulations mandate free medical care for inmates -- treatment he couldn't afford on his own. As soon as they booked him he popped the news that he has cancer. A quick and free colonoscopy later, they started him right out on three drug treatments and set up his inmate care plan. Larry was tickled enough to plead guilty off the bat. After all, his medical treatment is "on the house".


Yes, it seems that in the US only the criminals get free government health care, and that includes the ones in Congress. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-13-10  03:19am - 5426 days #2
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		I see the question in terms of being a huge fan of the star, with the avatar visually expressing that idea. Whether I'd be representative, to say nothing of iconic, I have no idea but a fair amount of doubt. But I've been wrong about things before!

Since I'm older and Cayenne put in a fine performance at Oldje, well, I'd be honored.

If we stick to softcore, then it's Nikky Case! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-12-10  02:37pm - 5426 days #43
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by turboshaft:


Oh man, if you don't know you may not want to know, but here goes anyway:

Some geniuses in the U.S. congress got all huffy that the French refused to join our coalition of the willing prior to the start of the Iraq war in 2003 and as a result had the cafeterias at the U.S. Capitol building rename their french fries and french toast to, well, you know. They reverted to the old names in 2006 when, what you know, the reasons for going to war turned out to be completely fabricated bullshit.

I remember around the same time Fox News shouter Bill O'Reilley urged viewers to boycott French goods and some restaurants supposedly did. I think some restaurants even poured out French wine on purpose...after having already paid for it, thus totally misunderstanding the purpose of a boycott.

I'd like to think we'll never live that one down but I am sure the next time duty calls some lapel pin patriot dumbass will pull something even stupider of his ass because we're number one!


Thanks, Turboshaft. You remember it more clearly than I do. Maybe I was just too sick of the whole lies and propoganda that I shut some of it out of memory as a coping strategy.

This little bit of holier-than-thou flag waving was appreciated by the kinds of flea brains that would put their hands on their hearts and sing "The Star Spangled Banner" in front of the Statue of Liberty -- not realizing where it had come from.

But at least they didn't go so far as to give us "Freedom Kiss" and "Freedom Maid Outfit." I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-11-10  11:24am - 5427 days Original Post - #1
Drooler (0)
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This is just for fun. First, some background: Saturday Night Live had a skit in their "Weekend Update" back around '78 in which the Voyager spacecraft had gone by Mars with recordings of earth sounds and music playing. In the skit, Earth got a response: "Send more Chuck Berry!"

Now, imagine we've sent various samples of pornography to Mars instead. What would the Martians say in response?

(The thread title is just one possible example, though Mia Hilton would certainly generate some extraterrestrial enthusiasm.)

Have fun, or Wittyguy will add this to his list of Drooler's Bombed Threads.

So please give generously. ;) I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-11-10  12:56am - 5428 days #13
Drooler (0)
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Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA 		What? No Vermont Teddy Bears? C'mon guys, she'd LOVE one! ;) I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-10-10  09:34am - 5429 days #3
Drooler (0)
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Posts: 1,831
Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by Khan:


Just a quick heads up for any of you guys who are in a relationship ...

Sunday (Feb 14th) is Valentine's day. This is an important one for the ladies so get you card, gift, plans ready.

Oh, and I'll pose a question I've posed to many groups over the years.

When buying candy for a lady, if the price is approx the same, is it better to go with the two pound box of candy or the one pound in the decorative heart shaped box?


Depends on the size of her butt. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-10-10  09:33am - 5429 days #32
Drooler (0)
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Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by Denner:


Man.....Drooler - thanks for this fine input.
That your health system is an 'utter disgrace' is well known to some/a lot of europeans - but in the long run that can be taken care of from back here....something like 'world-wide-health-security' some ok (after all) companies deals with that here in Denmark.

Was a little hard on the french, agree - but it's also how a lot of Scandinavians see it, it's still:
Oh, we (the french) won the Second World War for Europe - NADA! - It was thanks to the british and above all the USA and the sacrifice of US-troops that Europe got to be a free place to live after 1945. AND during the Cold War, too..

We OWE our freedom to the USA - and the british, of course!

But what is this 'Freedom Fries'? - never heard of it...


There was some restaurant in the DC area, if memory serves, that changed the menu from "French Fries" to "Freedom Fries" as a snub to the French after they declined to go headlong into the Iraq war that the Bush administration started. This was in the American news/media/propaganda system. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-10-10  09:30am - 5429 days #31
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		No apologies necessary, Khan. We're just glad that you're OK and that you're back. Several days of exposure to cold, even in a house, is really bad for ya.

I wonder if an alternative, such as a home generator, would be of help. Another expense, but who knows? I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-10-10  07:23am - 5429 days #27
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		"Life is what you make it." Denner has a very positive attitude and lots of "bonhomie," to use the French term, which might seem a bit ironic considering what he said about the French. ;)

But even after some "shock" phase, I think that Denner would probably adjust and do fine here in the US, though the warnings others have given are important, especially about the "health" system here, which is an utter disgrace, thanks to the greed and ineptitude of Congress -- another benchmark in the "Utter Disgrace" department.

The US lost popularity in Europe during the Bush years. I mean, in Germany there was a grass roots "movement" of people who, upon finding dog excrement on a sidewalk, would place a stick into it with a picture of that president affixed to the top. I always found that amusing.

As for the French, they are our allies and our friends. They can be very nationalistic as well, but so can Americans. Remember "Freedom Fries?" I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-09-10  01:45am - 5430 days #9
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by Denner:


Shit - it's no fun - we had the same some years ago after a gigantic snowstorm - a week without power and with that no general heat - except for some wood and a camping-thing to make food.
All the best hopes for Khan


Hey, Denner, I know it's a bit early 'cause with Khan snowed in, it isn't official yet, but congratulations on crossing the threshold to 200 review points! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-09-10  12:43am - 5430 days #7
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Thanks for the heads up, Rick. Wow, I hope Khan has enough supplies to ride this stuff out! And above all, to stay warm enough! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-08-10  05:22pm - 5430 days #6
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Yes, that's a good suggestion to filter out sites that have gone "static."

One additional thing that would be nice, now that we've gone past the 5000-review milestone, is a search engine at PU that we could use at least for keywords when slogging through the reviews. It wouldn't be perfect, as different people express things in different ways, but I've always felt that it would be a good thing to have.

... if it's not too much trouble, of course. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-07-10  03:13pm - 5431 days #17
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA
Originally Posted by badandy400:


Does Exotics get a badge for doing half of the reviews?!?! :)


LOL. We form one of the PU battalions, except for Exotics, who IS the other one. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-07-10  03:25am - 5432 days #80
Drooler (0)
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Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA 		While we're on the subject of photographers (and still striptease, too), I've got a few things to say about the ones at the ATK sites such as ATK Galleria, Premium, and Petites.

First is BMB/Wanton Photography. They do too many pics at too great a distance from the model, though they'll also do some closeups (ass, face, etc.) In this way, they remind me of the photographer at InTheCrack, who seems to do that, too. It's either right up in your face or, "Can you hear me now?"

Second is Alicia S. Sorry, but the work is BORING!! I'm also not into the "peachy" tones and textures; they don't look real.

It's gotten to the point where I almost always know that stuff from these two outfits will not wind up on my hard drive. Just seeing their names with the models makes my blood curdle a bit. Yet some of the models are great! What a waste!

Marco P, on the other hand, seems to know how to deliver in terms of composition (and ass)! At ATK Petites, he's done Jayme Langford, Lexi, and Tessa, to name a few. PKM, who did Stephanie Crane, is also in the good books.

Anymore, I can look at a gallery at one of those sites and usually guess who the photographer is! Even a single preview thumb will do sometimes.

I miss Russ T, who did some great stuff of several European models at ATK Galleria about two years ago, like Suzie Black, 77babes4. That was the shit!

That site has never been as good as it was then, at least for photos. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Feb 07, 2010, 11:14am
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02-06-10  10:21pm - 5432 days #15
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Kudos to the Cap'n for making 5K happen! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-06-10  12:46am - 5433 days #38
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA
Originally Posted by adrenalinrush:


Some girls of MC-Nudes.com have blown me away but don't know if they appeared on other sites too. I haven't found them on eurobabeindex, so any help here is highly appriciated.

Patricia http://www.mc-nudes.com/modeldetails/278
Dominika http://www.mc-nudes.com/modeldetails/269
Daisy http://www.mc-nudes.com/modeldetails/248
Latifaa http://www.mc-nudes.com/modeldetails/165

and some others in their recent contributions

Gabriella http://www.eurobabeindex.com/sbandoindex/alapas.html
Julia http://www.eurobabeindex.com/sbandoindex/tindra.html
Lea http://www.eurobabeindex.com/sbandoindex/leat.html


"Patricia" is probably better known as Laetitia, whom I've seen at ATK Galleria, Art-Lingerie, and evasgarden.eu. REALLY CUTE! Here's her page at Evas Garden.

Dominika is just AWESOME. Can't seem to find her at Eurobabeindex, but she's at X-art, Hegre-Art, Club Nella, and Errotica-Archives. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Feb 06, 2010, 12:52am
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02-05-10  09:46pm - 5433 days #3
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Drum roll ...... I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-04-10  12:34am - 5435 days #14
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA
Originally Posted by tomboylez:


Gay men and lesbians sleep together more than you'd realize :).


Probably true, not that I care. It was just a joke. Maybe you'd have to be straight to understand it. ;) I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-03-10  03:17pm - 5435 days #14
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA
Originally Posted by slutty:


Drooler,

My exerience with Windows 7 so far is that it gives you the actual folder size when you mouse-over it, however I usually have my view set to "Details", so Windows has already loaded the folder size since it is one of the details shown.

I find Windows 7 much more useful for the porn viewing experience than XP was, but it is a good bit more of a RAM hog than XP - although not as bad as vista...


slutty


Thanks, Slutty. (I hope you don't mind if I call you that. ;) I'll probably leapfrog the infamous Vista and head straight to "lucky" 7. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-03-10  03:14pm - 5435 days #20
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Here's a "film" that might prove popular: Karli Montana doing hardcore! Just thought I'd mention it. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-03-10  02:43pm - 5435 days #9
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Imagine as a guy that you're offered sex with a lesbian, but you decline. Then she says, "What's the matter? Are you GAY, or something?" I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-03-10  02:10pm - 5435 days #11
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		I'm gonna piggyback a question on this thread that's not entirely unrelated to photos (ahem).

In XP, sometimes I'll mouse over a folder of pics and it tells me "larger than 356 MB" or something like that. I have to hit F5 and try again before getting the actual folder size (well, a close-enough rounding of it).

But why in the hell would they bloat the code by having the OS tell a user NOT the actual folder size, but that it's greater than some randomly picked size that it's not???

Now the question: Does Vista and/or Windows 7 do this silly shit? I'll have to "upgrade" (yeah, sure) one of these days. Do have this to look forward to?

Thanks. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-02-10  07:27pm - 5436 days #16
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by turboshaft:


How about extending that and saying any Michael Bay film that has ever been made and will ever be made? This guy even has not one, but two films in the Criterion Collection ("The Rock" and "Armageddon" in case you were curious) so his films have been released alongside some unknown independent movies that are pretty much on the opposite end of the entertainment spectrum.


Yes, I saw some of Armageddon on the boob tube once. Gee, what a stupid movie. You almost wanted the asteroid to aim straight at Hollywood and smash it good! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-02-10  06:07pm - 5436 days #11
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		News Flash: I just love them feelthy peectures!! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-01-10  05:03pm - 5437 days #31
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Another fabulous girl who hit the scene in 2009 and should DEFINITELY not be overlooked is Aimee, shown here at TorridArt. She's also at NextDoorModels and is supposed to be at DigitalDesire soon, too.

Just knocks me flat with her good looks and charm. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-01-10  04:55pm - 5437 days #11
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		I've always LUVVED Bunny Luv, too! Here she is at SportyOne. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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02-01-10  02:56pm - 5437 days #4
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		That's a good problem to bring up. I don't know what OS you other guys are using, but I'm still in XP and I make folders of pics "picture" folders which I can then view as "filmstrip," which is really a slide show on the top with thumbs on the bottom. Navigating is easy: Just click the first thumb and use the arrow keys from there. (Resizing goes only as far as you can increase the height of the folder window.)

But as for getting them full screen, the issue at hand, I haven't a clue. Betcha can do it on a Mac. And maybe Microsoft will eventually get around to that also ... I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-31-10  01:57pm - 5438 days #8
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


LOL. No, catalogue pictures won't do it. There definitely has to be some pink in it. Just imagine some cute model with her back turned to you looking back over her shoulder, without touching her cheeks, clad in crotchless panties .. if that thought turns you on we're not that far apart. :-)


Messmer, we have a lot in common. The only difference is that for me, fully nude is preferred (and no tats or such).

I do hate how so many good "back" shots get ruined by having the girl put her hand on her butt and not look back at the camera. Teenrotica, for instance, was very much a habitual offender. They could only do "back" shots the way I hated them, 6 in a fucking row!

And sorry I misunderstood earlier. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-31-10  04:07am - 5439 days #3
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		I haven't watched a Hollywood movie at a theatre in years. Sat through enough mediocre ones for sure. And there were some good ones as well, but they were the exceptions.

Saw Gone in 60 Seconds on TV last night for the first and last time. It had its moments amongst all of the uninspired dialogue, "thoughtful" closeups of Angelina Jolie, plot cliches and ridiculous stunts. Next time, I'll take the title more seriously, and gone it will be.

Whatever happened to movies with smart, snappy dialogue? When was the last flick made in Tinsel Town on the level of The Maltese Falcon? I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-30-10  04:18pm - 5439 days #16
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by slutty:


Not porn related, but the Walmart bashing thing totally reminded me of this site.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Probably already seen it, but pretty humorous. Hopefully the folks at your local store are a tad classier...


slutty


No, I'd never heard of it! Wow! Well, with all due respect to Stevie Tyler, if this is living better, just FORGET IT! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-30-10  02:51pm - 5439 days #2
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Messmer, it sounds as though you've come out of the hall closet and proceeded straight into the walk-in. But ... that's oooo-kay. We won't hold it against you if you start bookmarking lingerie sites. I mean, the ones that SELL lingerie. At least you don't have to join just to look at the pictures on the web! I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-30-10  12:18am - 5440 days #27
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Stefanya at MPL, aka Teodora at FemJoy. VERY sexy! And that's what counts!

Oh, and she's Kate at NuDolls and Tatyana at FM Teens.

(Has she been at MetArt? I can't remember. And probably as Natasha or Milena or Sasha or Nastya or ...) I wanted something new, so I left England for New England. Edited on Jan 30, 2010, 12:35am
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01-28-10  02:47am - 5442 days #4
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		What a shame! I saw her on the big screen, back Before Internet. It only takes one momentary lapse of attention; could happen to anyone. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-27-10  11:34pm - 5442 days #13
Drooler (0)
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Location: USA 		Of course I appreciate everyone's helpfulness, wittiness, and quirkiness. We are a community of "fits" here (not misfits).

And I thank the ladies of porn (strike up the band): "Thanks, for the mammaries ..." I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-26-10  01:32am - 5444 days #15
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


Do you have that on tape of Mr. Drooler getting creamed? And was that consensual sex or not? Cough-choke-choke-cough.

Mr. Fluffy avoids those creeps. Lol.


I don't believe that Wittyguy meant to turn you on like that. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-26-10  01:25am - 5444 days #14
Drooler (0)
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Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


Sounds like ze Drooler needs to come up with a new version of "Who let the Dogs Out?" for his Song Parodies thread. That should keep his mind working overtime for a few weeks ;)

So, here's a quick breakdown of Wittyguy's Rules for Animals in Porn:

1. "Pornstars don't wear clothes so neither should the animals props". I have yet to see any pics or vids where some prescious porn star pulls a full on Gollum and dresses up her dixie cup sized "prescious" in some cutesy-ass heinous outfit that cost more than my wardrobe. Animals have fur and don't need clothes. If they do need clothes it's because some idiot decided to fuck with Darwin and play God through poor breeding; thus demonstrating the point professed by some religious wing nuts that God hates those he created and makes their life miserable at times just cause he thought what he created was "cute" and because he needs a cheap laugh every once in a while.

2. "I dream of Drooler" is still the worst porn movie never made. Hands down, no discussion needed.

3. "If the beast is bored, you ain't doing it right." Animals are real live animatronic interactive props. If some dog is half asleep while the feature presentation is working up a big time screaming "O" then obviously the acting needs some work. Animals are animals. OK, going beyond the obvious statement, dogs and cats have brains the size of walnuts. They know eating, they know sleeping, they know hunting/play and they know sex. That's the big four for pretty much all mammals and given how many of them there are in the world I figure they know sex pretty good. If the actors aren't convincing the beasts / experts, why are they expecting us to be convinced? When the dog is hollering in harmony with the starlet, that's entertainment ... at least it is over in the trailer park.

4. "Beastiality is a No-No". I pretty much take the view that beastiality is bad because the animal (especially if the animal is taking it) isn't really consenting to the act. Let's face it, a horse or a dog could care less about people when it comes to sex. It's pretty much only when someone decides to fire up Mr. Beasties's sex drive by manual stimulation (I'm just theorizing here people, no actual experience) that the animal is ready to go. And then what? There's nothing in it's species around so it's left taking from the bottom of the animal's sexual preference barrell. Thus, what he have here is a situation where the animal is left picking up the 300 lb hermaphrodite at last call cause that's all that's left. Friends don't let friends commit last call beer goggle atrocities. If animals are our friends (and some of them are very tasty friends when cooked I might add) then they should not actively be included in sex scenes. And if some jerk wad shoots a jerk wad on Ms. Fluffy or Mr. Drooler as part of a shoot then he deserves some amateur animal spaying with claws and teeth.

5. "The rules of filmdom say to never work with animals or children". For very good reason: 1) You never know what the fuck is going to happen (the best bits on late night tv are when the talk shows bring on the animals from the zoo and they start crapping every where) and 2) They will probably upstage you. These rules also apply to porn. 1) Fuzzy may cute perched on her ass but when Fuzzy decides that the tramp stamp or a dude's pole looks like a scratching post watch out. Forget even trying to reshoot the scene without the beastie for that day. Besides, if I recall correctly, union wages for animals in show biz are probably more than the pornstar is getting paid for the scene. 2) Let's face it, we've all seen more anonymous schlong pumping some overfed beaver more times than Michael Jackson had surgeries. What we haven't all seen is some dog taking a leak on a $3000 sofa next to a couple of fuck bunnies. Which one is really more eye catching? I rest my case.

This is all I can immediately think of -- feel free to add on to the list.


Thank you, Wittyguy, for saving THIS thread of mine from ... ignominy. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-25-10  02:22am - 5445 days #9
Drooler (0)
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Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by exotics4me:


I remember when females in normal clothes, stripping down to nothing and posing provocatively was cutting-edge. Maybe it will cycle back around?

Drooler, haven't seen many of those animal sets. I have one of Eve from ATK premium where a little fuzzy puppy is running around at the first of it and one from FTV where a model is holding a kitten at first. Seeing as how some of our webmasters these days aren't real bright, maybe they took the request for more doggystyle poses showing the booty and kitty literally?


The "animal sets" may not be growing on (or swinging from) the trees, but like the angel wings and picture frames, they keep coming back to roost on occasion.

I'd finally decided to start the thread after seeing Marlene (of Hegre) at Explicite (as Anais) in one with a white poodle/terrier type in something like 60% of the shots. Why??? The photo quality was really good, and Marlene is exquisite, but in my fantasies, the dog is off in a another room, laying on its own special contour-fitting Swedish mattress, dreaming of humping other dogs. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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01-24-10  06:21am - 5446 days #5
Drooler (0)
Disabled User



Posts: 1,831
Registered: Mar 11, '07
Location: USA
Originally Posted by RagingBuddhist:


Hey - we could always go back to angel wings and picture frames.


Hey, that's cool. Just put the wings on the dog and give it the picture frame to chew on ... off camera. I wanted something new, so I left England for New England.
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